Hi all,
I second that Pauly - I have really benefited from Mario's contribution to the 'Long Term Abstainers' section, Thank you x
A new member Doveagain, was chatting about Vitamin D in their thread & it reminded me of being reccomended by the health visitor when I had my daughter to supplement her diet because of the gloomy weather - so it might be beneficial with winter blues?
LC you sound so positive :heartbeat: sounds like your getting through changing (& what change isnt stressful?) with a really great attitude. Being honest is very brave, although sometimes the reaction isn't always positive I've found, I try to remember it's not necessarily the fruit of the reaction that is important, the importance is taking those brave first steps x
I have thoughts about anger & resentment, in that they can come from 2 different ways in ourselves. Chat earlier in the thread about accepting bullshit when using AL, I think comes from carrying shame & low self esteem about my addiction makes me vulnerable to accepting things I wouldn't otherwise. Shame & feeling like 'I'm bad' very much can keep me trapped in a downward spiral of AL abuse. Although if I acknowledge this & treat as 'feeling guilty' for making bad choices, it puts me in a better place to take responsibility for my bad choices & take action.
I'm angry at myself for making bad choices & how they affect me & my loved ones. I think this is healthy self anger as it tells me something is wrong & I need to take action.
I think if someone hurts me, again, I think it's a normal healthy reaction to be angry because it's unacceptable as I (or anyone) doesn't deserve to be hurt. Accepting less bullshit because someone has a better sense of self worth are positive steps & think in this way, anger is healthy x
I think resentment is tied up in feelings of shame & low self esteem whereby I've experienced healthy anger towards self or others for making bad choices myself or others hurting me. Instead of acknowledging my anger & taking action, feelings of shame & low self worth get the better of me & I don't think I'm worth taking action & deserving of these feelings. I think when this happens we don't feel strong enough to take action or sometimes we don't know what action to take. For myself, I think this is kind of where healthy anger ends and where resentment begins.
I think choosing to go AF is just the start of the above process I've gone through before & now face ahead. It takes me time for healthy choices to reflect in my feelings but just have to trust that they will.
Neo, sorry to hear of your slip, although contratulations on 40 days x I had a slip on the 29th too, so in early days again too. Glad to have you here & even better when so quickly after a slip x
Thank you all for helping me do what I know I can but don't really believe yet x Your support is saving my life xx
Wishing all a safe and sober Tuesday
LS
I second that Pauly - I have really benefited from Mario's contribution to the 'Long Term Abstainers' section, Thank you x
A new member Doveagain, was chatting about Vitamin D in their thread & it reminded me of being reccomended by the health visitor when I had my daughter to supplement her diet because of the gloomy weather - so it might be beneficial with winter blues?
LC you sound so positive :heartbeat: sounds like your getting through changing (& what change isnt stressful?) with a really great attitude. Being honest is very brave, although sometimes the reaction isn't always positive I've found, I try to remember it's not necessarily the fruit of the reaction that is important, the importance is taking those brave first steps x
I have thoughts about anger & resentment, in that they can come from 2 different ways in ourselves. Chat earlier in the thread about accepting bullshit when using AL, I think comes from carrying shame & low self esteem about my addiction makes me vulnerable to accepting things I wouldn't otherwise. Shame & feeling like 'I'm bad' very much can keep me trapped in a downward spiral of AL abuse. Although if I acknowledge this & treat as 'feeling guilty' for making bad choices, it puts me in a better place to take responsibility for my bad choices & take action.
I'm angry at myself for making bad choices & how they affect me & my loved ones. I think this is healthy self anger as it tells me something is wrong & I need to take action.
I think if someone hurts me, again, I think it's a normal healthy reaction to be angry because it's unacceptable as I (or anyone) doesn't deserve to be hurt. Accepting less bullshit because someone has a better sense of self worth are positive steps & think in this way, anger is healthy x
I think resentment is tied up in feelings of shame & low self esteem whereby I've experienced healthy anger towards self or others for making bad choices myself or others hurting me. Instead of acknowledging my anger & taking action, feelings of shame & low self worth get the better of me & I don't think I'm worth taking action & deserving of these feelings. I think when this happens we don't feel strong enough to take action or sometimes we don't know what action to take. For myself, I think this is kind of where healthy anger ends and where resentment begins.
I think choosing to go AF is just the start of the above process I've gone through before & now face ahead. It takes me time for healthy choices to reflect in my feelings but just have to trust that they will.
Neo, sorry to hear of your slip, although contratulations on 40 days x I had a slip on the 29th too, so in early days again too. Glad to have you here & even better when so quickly after a slip x
Thank you all for helping me do what I know I can but don't really believe yet x Your support is saving my life xx
Wishing all a safe and sober Tuesday
LS
wishing everyone a positive, productive AF day
) As for the martial arts stuff .... been a bit of a while. An embarrassingly long bit of a while.
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