Newbies Nest

[mario]

Morning nesters, just a quick flyby this morning as I am of to a meeting & never got up earlier to get here, :-(

Hope all is well & have a good day.

[Lost Soul]

Hi all,
Early check in today, hope everyone is well,
Princess so pleased you got through last night safety AF! I'm not sure if I read your post correct did you loose your husband before Christmas? I'm really sorry to hear that - Sending thoughts of strength x
Neo, sorry to hear you had a slip - I think the negative self talk when we slip can make the AF journey so much harder but coming back and being honest with ourselves & asking for support at this time really helps x
Marthadan, looking forward to celebrating your day to with you tomorrow :happy2:
Mary, well done on 3 years of sobriety - so pleased for you!
Nursie, that sounds like a really emotionally raw day yesterday, sending hugs & hoping you are able to be kind to yourself today. Id have been on the vanilla too, if I'd only known!
LC, lovely reading how you doing - sobriety suits you very well :happy2:
Ava - im really glad your son is doing well, I'm sure it's very helpful to him that you understand x
Wishing all a safe & sober Sunday
LS

I think we all have different struggles & problems & if they affect us, while it is important to deal with those, we should be mindful to do it seperately. I think if I let my stinkin drinkin thinkin loose, because of how alcoholism affects people there's a risk of my alkie brain using my problems as an excuse which would be very unhealthy pattern of behaviour to go down. There is a vulnerable period, when you stop self medicating with alcohol, when things that affect still do & I guess it goes back to responsibility for me in finding healthier ways to overcome these difficultis x

I must have been munching some 'blue' denial pills when I wrote this, I apologise for writing this.

Although the 'ideal' would be to deal with my alcoholism & other problems seperately, realistically I cannot do this, mind fully, or otherwise. This is because I can't choose to only be abused when I'm not an alcoholic. I can't choose not to be an alcoholic when I'm abused. It would be easier to deal with these seperately, but that's not how life works or how problems affect us.

It was very wrong of me to generalise all problems & struggles & suggest it is my responsibility to find healthier ways to cope. This is untrue & actually quite damaging.

Truthfully, I believe when faced with certain life experiences (tragedy, loss, threat) I think it healthy to acknowledge I have no control over my reactions and feelings At these times it is not my responsibility to find healthier ways to cope. This is because humans respond to danger, threat, a traumatic experience not with the cognitive, logical part of our mind but the subconscious. At the most basic level, it is simply fight, flight & freeze.

Although I can't see why sometimes, my mind, body & soul are doing what it should naturally should - to protect itself. And these choices are trustworthy. I just have to look back when in a safer place to see them x

Herein lies true forgiveness & healing for me & gratitude for the whole person that I am. I wholeheartedly embrace both my path to sobriety & my humanity today. Thankyou so very much for helping me find my way xx

[ADP]

Hi Nest,
Just reading and needing to believe....again! Starting day two, but like Neo, beating myself up today. Also no energy and back pain aren't helping. Have told other half that I am going to quit and he has no idea I have a problem, so am going to try to explain the real situation, wish me luck. Ax

[lifechange]

Welcome back, ADP.. it's difficult, but do try to go a bit easy on yourself. I like how it's often suggested to take care of yourself as you would a very close friend or your daughter if she were very ill.. try to be compassionate. By not drinking, you are already on your way.. and you can figure that out more when you're feeling a bit stronger and have more energy. For now, be gentle. I hope that your back is better soon. :hug:

I finally made it to the gym and am feeling that much better for it.
I do have to get some work done and am procrastinating a bit.. I've written it down on my "list".. let's see!:happy2:

Will check in again later..
I hope everyone is ok today.. having a relaxing day.?

[paulywogg]

Morning nesters,just a quickie hello,will post more after I'm done with grocery shopping (yuck) hope everyone is enjoying their day

[Pavati]

Happy Sunday:

Can't believe the day I missed was Byrdie's 6 year anniversary! Congratulations, dear Byrdie. Thanks for all you have done for me. Your humor and direct approach are right up my alley - no b.s. here. You're amazing.

Hi, Dutch. Great to see you poke your head in. You, too, Turn.

Good to see you Tony, Neo and ADP. You know the drill. Stay close, make a plan. Take good care of yourselves.

Nursie - What a year you're having. I understand the embarrassment. One birthday (several years before I quit, unfortunately), people were giving toasts and I was a bit horrified that ALL OF THEM involved drinking with me. Sigh.

Princess - If I understand you correctly, you have a present of vodka that you were going to give your husband but then he passed away before that Christmas? I am so sorry about your husband - my heart aches at the prospect of a loss like that. I am sure keeping that bottle gives you some bit of comfort, but my advice is for you to get it out of the house, pronto. I am sure you have other keepsakes, photos and mementos - and given your relationship with alcohol do you want to add a bottle of vodka to those memories? It is dangerous to have it around. No matter how sacred you feel it is, we make terrible bargains with ourselves in desperate times. I do not mean to sound insensitive - I understand how hard a thing it would be to part with. Maybe a good friend of his would take it? Yours?

I tried knitting once. Ended up with a scarf (well, half a scarf) that was the shape of a meandering river as I kept dropping and picking up stitches. It was relaxing when I got it right, but the frustrations added up!

Hi to all those I missed. Happy SOBER Sunday. Take good care of yourselves, and don't drink no matter what.

Pav

And LC, hope all is well. xo

[paulywogg]

I agree with the others on getting rid of the vodka Princess,I know its sentimental but having a bottle of anything around for us kinda peeps is like having bees around someone who's allergic to 'em,I keep nothing in the house, hubs has his 1 beer probably 3 or 4 times a week(weirdo) but he drinks it in the garage,one day a neighbor gave him a tall can of bud light platinum for his b-day,he doesn't drink that kind cuz the AL%is too high so he put it in the fridge bow still attached,I told him to get it out of there pronto! Also when my oldest took off to FL with her creepy boyfriend I needed to search for her social security card she left behind in her room,I found a can of blue ribbon and bud light,took them straight out to hubs,I'm just overly paranoid cuz I've been in situations before where I was too casual about the no AL policy,had a bad day and zoom right to the drink! No good.LS,yes that you know you're an alcoholic thread is a little triggery,plus Intervention for some reason was triggery for me,wonder why? AA did it to me too,I think maybe I just would rather bury all drink talks/thoughts who knows, welcome back ADP,Neo,Tony Pav,I think my scarf would end up like yours haha,I don't really have patience for stuff like that but maybe I'll try

[abcowboy]

This is the only liquor bottle left in our house and I can hardly wait to empty it once it gets full!

IMG_4767.jpg

[Byrdlady]

MaryLou, three years?! Cheese and crackers, where did the time go? Well done on this tremendous milestone! :woohoo2:Ice Creams all around! Keep up the great work!

ADP and Neo, settle in and just put your back into this push and get it done once and for alll. It doesnt take but a couple of AF days to make your outlook brighter. There is NOTHING to fear in giving up this fluid that is out to kill us. Participate here and get all that AL out. No safety net needed.
Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Congratulations, MaryLou! Isn't it great for this way of living to be the New Normal :smile:? I'm so happy for you -xx, NS

[scottish lass]

So good to see people coming back - I have been a habitual day one'r - and at times not willing to come back, that method does not work!!

Nursie - vanilla drinker here too!

LS - last weekend my youngest decided she wanted to redo her bedroom. We took everything off the walls, rearranged the furniture, cleaned out and cleaned up, and put everything back up. It took two days and one evening I could hardly get up to go to bed! I can only see this as good - it feels as if she is taking control of herself and her life again. My oldest went on a sleep over, so it was just the two of us, and the best time I have spent with her in a really long time! (one of the reasons I didn't sign in here). Her first counselors appointment is on Thursday, so hopefully she can continue to heal.

My dad continues to have bad times - Mum had to call 999 last week. He had an MRI about 3months ago, and the appointment to get results is this week - it has taken so long, treatment could have slowed the progress if they started way back then...we will see...

I continue to wake with a smile and feel so good in the mornings - some gentle longings in afternoons/evenings but so far nothing I am not able to dismiss. Dry Jan almost done, Dry 2017 well on its way.

[Nursie]

Scottie, thanks for sharing my misery about the vanilla! I mean, not like I would buy it to drink, but a few times....when I was out of booze and I needed that "one more drink" I would swig on listerine, vanilla, or NyQuil. I shudder to think about it!

I did some cooking today and really enjoyed my kitchen and cleaning ritual. I used to be so afraid that I wouldn't be able to enjoy cooking without drinking. Boy was I wrong. I get that apron on, and I turn that music on, and I just get so excited! Grabbing things from the fridge, from the pantry, from the spice cabinet. Cutting herbs from my plants, hearing the sizzle, smelling the garlic m, it's like a symphony to me.
I have been losing weight but I accidentally ate 3 bowls of my Nana's chili today. I can't resist my dear Nana's cooking!
What else...oh! My stepdaughter and I have developed a. It of a ritual. We wake up early and have coffee and plan out our days together. She tells me everything that's on her mind about her mom, her boyfriend, and how she is trying to be a. Enter version of herself. I am so proud of her and so sad that her mom can't be there for her. I know the feeling of just wanting your mom and they are not what you need them to be.

So her mom threatened to burn all of her stuff if we didn't come get it. We arranged to get it today and we were all nervous about the emotional state. But when my stepdaughter walked into her mother's house, her mom was less angry, gave her a hug, and told her to keep in though.... I don't know what to think. We have to serve her with child support papers (to not pay her anymore because she is living with us 100 percent of the time). She has changed her address to our house, and she is going on my health insurance.
God, I can talk huh? My point is that I could never have been there for her in this way if I was still drinking. She would not even bother to confide in me I'm sure. I feel like everything is working out just in the nick of time for my family. My son never mentions drinking, I hope he forgot, and I have newfound respect for myself. I am able to nurture the self respect in my daughter because she saw me making the positive changes in my own life.

Ow...if we could just get the money to buy a house instead of renting we would be over the moon!!

[tonyniceday]

Well day 2 has been hard...I remember that from before... had a difficult time at work too...we seem to have a thief. It would have been really easy to just have said "feck it" and opened a bottle but thankfully I didn't and just 15 mins of day 2 left... I know it gets easier but am so glad to have got through today af

[Nursie]

Ugh so many typos because of this new phone. Sorry!!

[Roobs]

Hello nesters,

SL so nice that you were able to spend time with your daughter. I'm sure she will look back and treasure this memory and bonding.

Princess, so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the grief you must be going through. I agree with the rest of the bunch, it's not a good idea to have that vodka around. It doesn't matter if it's hard to reach, you will manage to get to it if you have a case of the f-it's?

Others of you have been mentioning not having alcohol within reach or having your spouses drinks in another location. I too make sure I'm not the one buying if people are coming over. There's something about putting my hand on a bottle of wine,into the cart, checking out at the store, unloading it at home, that makes me feel like it's mine therefore I've committed to drinking it. So i will not buy it. Today I unintentionally stumbled upon a show on ESPN. It was about Darryl strawberry and doc Gordon, famous supremely talented baseball players in the 80s and 90s who both struggled with MAJOR addictions. "Even though, I was never as bad as they were" there was a moment in the show where doc had been successfully sober and had a major comeback, he retires in 2001 and as soon as he realizes he doesn't have to drug tested anymore, he goes straight back to drugs and alcohol. That "flip" of the switch really resonated with me today. I've provided the link below to the show. It's so good not only for learning more about addiction but also about their story.

Congrats on three years Mary!
Ava, I'm so happy you can be there for your son and look at you working out all the time. Go guurl!



Doc & Darryl - ESPN Films: 30 for 30