Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

So I had a fantastic experience today that I'd like to share. I had an appt with a naturopath who I see for certain parts of my overall health care. I actually haven't seen her in almost a year, so we had some catching up to do. At one point we were going through some of the typical health history types of questions, and we arrived at the smoking/drinking section. She said, "The last time I saw you, you said you drank 0-10 beers or other drinks per week. Is that still the same?"

Of course, 0-10 drinks per week was a lie last time I saw her. I was drinking FAR more than that but I was too ashamed to be fully honest.

THIS TIME, I got to tell her that I drink 0, zero, big fat ZERO drinks per week! I told her I quit drinking last July and haven't had a drop since then, nor did I have any plans to resume. She was elated for me, and gave me kudos for this healthy change I'd made in my lifestyle.

It was good to be reminded of where I was, including the shame of it all. It felt amazing to say I have had nothing in just over 6 months and am going strong. Not only to have so much time without al, but also to feel pride instead of shame.

Small victories, small celebrations. Yay :yay:

[marthadan]

Can't believe I've completed day 4 today!! Yay! I even turned down a glass of prosecco at my friend's house. I told her I was on a break and she chose to support by not having a glass. I also offered to be the DD if we all go out - something I read somewhere here! Just so I don't get tempted. Tomorrow is my first REAL test though - I have to attend a reception. I can't say how much having this support group has helped me. Don't have the support of hubby who is still upset by my sleep blackouts. Son is quite proud of me. Daughter is too busy studying - which is a good thing. My friend is 100% supportive. But I do feel right now I need to have controlled encounters as they all enjoy a drink and I don't want to be a killjoy or be tempted. So thank you everyone. I know realize that that's probably why I relapsed last time - no real support group. I appreciate all the sharing. Makes one feel one isn't crazy!
Bless. :love:

[tonyniceday]

Well it's been a funny old day today...got up in time for Mrs T to take me 1 1/2 hours to Psychiatrist appointment and grabbed the appointment letter only to see it was an hour earlier than I thought... panic phone call and she (the Psychiatrist) still agreed to see me....seems they think I have a problem in my head...I could have told them that!!
But I now have to have a EEG and a CT scan and an appointment with a Neurologist... the rest of the day went downhill... still only less than 2 hours to go and I'm into day 6 AF... been a lot further before but it seems different this time...in some way easier and in some ways harder... still... I'm closing in on a week...
Have a great rest of the day AF everyone
Tony

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters!

Great to see so many folks checking in today

Byrdie, I sure hope you are feeling better.

LC, I am sorry to hear your are facing surgery right now. Trust that everything is going to be OK & know that we will all keep you in our thoughts :hugs:
I pretty much decided a long time ago that I don't owe 'explanations' about my past drinking behavior to everyone on the planet. I have come to find out that most people I know withold info about themselves - I'm talking about friends & relatives. In my mind there is just no need to air out your laundry if you don't really want to

Geez Tony, I hope everything turns out OK for you as well.

Congrats to everyone making progress & living without the burden of AL.
I am so grateful for my freedom, nothing is going to make me give that up!!!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Thank you for the well wishes, much better today.
What a day, crazy busy today I finished at 6:30 pm and started at 7 am. I started a little earlier today since I knew I had a hair appointment. Things got so crazy I had to leave with wet hair and get home to put out all the fires. Gosh, there are just a million little things! I could have never done all this back in the day. I am so grateful to he sober!

Tony, what a day you had, too, yikes! Wishing you well, too. LC! Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. Hard to let go of our lady parts.

Hugs to all, hang in there!! Byrdie

[actiongirl46]

Hi all! Ava, can I ask how old your kids were when you talked to them? And this was early in your quit, correct?

Thanks, I've been wondering some of the same things . . . day 3 and counting here.

[NoraC]

Great talk today. Thanks all. I ran into a coworker at the store this evening. I asked him how he hurt his hand.....a bar fight? He said NO - I don't drink anymore. I said neither do I. It felt good to say it.

[KENSHO]

G Buddy, where are you?

[mario]

Good morning Nesters :-)

When we try to get insights into our own lives, we inevitably get caught up in a web of our own psychology, beating ourselves up for our behaviour on the one hand while desperately attempting to justify it on the other.

This quote is from a thread Nosugar posted in general forum. Its so true in our addicted lives that we are forever making excuses & then justifying it with more & more excuses.

As I became more & more caught up in my life of addiction, with all the finical, relationship , health,Jobs destruction it brought to me, I still stuck with my drinking, I actually depended on it, It became an obsession , my addiction to hell. I am so glad that I found my way out & coming here is one of the tools I use in keeping out.

Have good day nesters.

[marthadan]

Good morning everyone. Thanks Mario. This morning I have less anger. Maybe because I'll have to take responsibility this evening st a reception. I won't be able to blame anyone for my decisions. I have to choose to be alcohol free. I need to choose to be present and choose water/ soft drinks. Consciously. Wish me luck! Have a nice day! Bless.

[Lost Soul]

Hi all,
My thoughts are with you LC at this time. I hope your operation goes smoothly & glad you have the support of your work - I am sure that helps greatly. I know you will get through so just sending a hug & hand to hold :hug:
Wagmor, wonderful to hear how your dr. visit went, so pleased for you x
Marthadan your doing great! Gonna chase me down!
Lovely to see you back here Action girl & well done on day 3 x
Such lovely inspiring posts to read through this morning - great start to the day, thankyou all :happy2:
Wishing all a safe & sober Thursday
LS

[Roobs]

Hello nesters,

LC, so sorry for what you're going through. Take care of yourself , maybe you should treat yourself to something luxurious or chocolatey You deserve it and your beautiful girls deserve to have you around for a very long time.

Tony, best wishes to you too. I hope everything is ok.

Have a another AF day everyone.
Roobs

[paulywogg]

Hello nesters,just a quick hello from me and hoping we all have a great AF day

[NoSugar]

Good thoughts to LC and Tony with your post-quit medical issues. I've had a couple of those myself. Part of me felt like it "wasn't fair" - here I'd done this hard and great thing of quitting and NOW I have to deal with this??? It turned out to be SO MUCH EASIER to handle - for one thing, I was mentally, if not physically reasonably healthy and also there were no worries about not being able to drink in the hospital (would a "normal" person even THINK of that???) or possible drug/alcohol interactions.

Several years ago, I didn't drink for weeks because of a pain medication that I was taking to relieve excrutiating back pain. I was so consumed by the pain, the inability to drink wasn't really an issue. When I got past that problem, I thought it would be a good idea not to go back to drinking again (duh). And I didn't drink much for awhile but I didn't abstain entirely and of course things gradually escalated, taking me back where I was. You guys are fortunate to be AF before you face the challenges that may lie ahead.

I'll be thinking of you. xx, NS

[dyingtobealive]

marthadan - great job on day 4!!! woohoo! Good luck at the reception. Just keep telling yourself that one more sober night can’t hurt.

Lav - I agree, we have to do what works for us. I know part of me is definitely holding back by not telling my husband because if I do, that means it’s done. It means it’s really real that I will never take another drink. That’s very scary this early and I know I would benefit from telling him, but I’m just not ready. Thankfully my husband doesn’t drink much - I think he drank more because I would always have the wine out, but since I’ve stopped he’s only drank 3 times. Like LS said, right now MWO is a safe spot without judgement. I’m afraid of the judgement that telling him brings. I’m still having difficulty coming to terms with the fact that I had (have?) a problem. For now, when someone asks why I’m not drinking, I’m just sticking to my mini marathon excuse. Seems to be a “good enough” reason for most people so far. I like wagmor’s idea of being able to choose your own narrative and shape other people’s understanding.

LC - Great job not giving in at the liquor store and I’m glad that you didn’t get any cancer news. I can’t imagine needing both ovaries removed. Like you said, even though you don’t plan on more children, it’s still a part of you.

Byrdie - hope you’re feeling better!

Nursie - I think I will try the pudding and cool whip thing. That sounds amazing.

Wagmor - OMG I’ve always lied to the doctor about drinking. Of course it’s a running joke at work that we all lie about it, but I’m sure others lies aren’t as big as mine. Was always saying: “a glass of wine a night” or about 5 drinks a week. Yeah, right. I have an appointment with my psychologist coming up and I’m right there with you - excited to tell her zero and mean it!


Well, I’m at the airport right now headed out for my business trip. I’m going to start a new thread so I don’t muck up the conversation here. Any support will be very welcomed, as this business trip will be the first one sober and as many of you know they seem to just revolve around alcohol. Here I go. Currently on Day 16.