Newbies Nest

[actiongirl46]

Pav, thank you. The science piece was missing for me on other attempts. It really makes a lot of sense at least for my experience. I'm reading "Under the Influence". The first few chapters explained the physiology at a new level for me (I didn't understand it all either pauly, don't have a biology background, but I pieced it together, good enough : )

[Orimus]

GMAE all.

Byrd - Was never a fan of public speaking or even small presentations. Always made me queasy. Apparently it's not all that uncommon with sports figures to puke before a game. (Top 15 Athletes Who Literally Get Sick Before Games - TheSportster)

Pav - Thanks for the info on the Dopamine. I knew AL messed with the Serotonin but was not aware.

Just a brief check-in from the bunker. (That would be our data center. Pretty much built that way) Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day.

[available]

morning nesters

A busy day at work for me with 40+ patients walking through the door for appointments. Thursdays are so tiring as i have to talk a lot which i really dont mind. Thursday afternoon after work was a big drinking night for me to get over the stress of the day and i remember waking on friday trying to figure how not to go to work. i dont want those days back again, not that i drank any less any other day of the week now i think of it.

Pav i honestly didnt look into the science of my alcoholism, my brother was an alcoholic and so was i. I have watched a few shows occasionally on the why's and it makes sense thus another reason why i know i can never drink. I think when i was new to sobriety i just could not overwhelm myself with too much info and i still try not to be overwhelmed.

I took my fur baby to the vets last night and she has growths now that old people get. Bless her, but she is fine and dandy for an old girl today. Missed my course and we have a new teacher, i dont like change so pulling out some positives for next week when i meet him.

Where is LC and Daisy and G?

Take care x

[marthadan]

Hi nesters, been quietly absorbing all the great posts. The giving up of al is so........ underwhelming. I've decided to call it "calming". And of course being left with "real life" and all it's imperfections and stress. Yes - the stress that al used to take the edge off. But never solved. So I'm mulling over everything and agree - the only thing I need to do is NOT DRINK. Anything else for now is fine. Binge on candy? Fine. Hop into bed at 7.00pm? Fine. Too lazy to get to the gym? Fine. Don't return emails? Fine. So - I'm giving myself a break this week. Just as long as I don't drink! And when I feel bad - I come here and read through the posts and know I'm not alone. Bless. :thanks:

[j-vo]

Evening,
Much better day today. I don't understand how 14 year old kids can be so annoying and frustrating one day and "ok" the next. Should I even try to figure it out? There is science behind this one, I know, but sometimes it's hard to take into consideration when my nerves are shot. Instead of losing my mind, I must stop and think first, they're suppose to act like a**holes sometimes, so move on and/or do some deep breathing, hide under my blankets when I get home, anything but drink. That piece of science was interesting, Pav. Mario, good post and something to look foward that it won't always be difficult, and the assets will outweigh all the challenges of today. Good luck at work today, Ava. Martha, yep. That's what we need to do and not do.

[Lost Soul]

Hi all,
Hope everyone is keeping well
ADP, Your doing the right thing checking in & reading, I found it really helpful & you will feel better & stronger as you build AF days,sending thoughts of strength to you x
Action girl & Marthadan you guys are really doing well & sounding great!
Orimus, good to see you, hope tomorrow goes ok - will be thinking of you x
Ava, 'fur baby' is so cute :heartbeat: glad her vet visit went well :hug:
Pav, not at all, to contribute your time here to offer your guidance & advice in how you achieved +3 years sobriety & sharing it with us to help others overcome addiction is so kind & am grateful for your time x
MWOF is so special because although we all share a common goal of maintaining sobriety & living a fulfilling life, no two people travel the same path. And as individual as we are, so are the journeys we must travel to sobriety & I gain so much from all you 'ol timers (sorry!) Lav, Byrdie, Ava, NS & Mario :heartbeat: and everyone else too!
However, with my personal experience, I believe it is the wrong choice for me to attribute all my strong human emotions to the instability of early sobriety.
In real life, if a friend confided in me that they were struggling with alcoholism & were in an abusive relationship (seldom in so many words) it would be the wrong choice for me to advise same.
In this specific situation, their feelings are largely what is telling them something is wrong. To invalidate their feelings is to take away their voice & ability to take steps to become safe. A hug & a hand to hold goes a long way & instilling confidence & self esteem in another does the battle with AL no harm! It's what I really needed that made the difference & it's what I offer my two, should they ever need it x
Wishing all a safe & sober Wednesday
LS

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

LS, you can go ahead & call me old anytime because I am, ha ha!
But I am truly grateful to be alive & pretty well & to have come thru all the trials & tribulations of life
It's a wonderful thing to just be a good listener sometimes. Advice is not always wanted or needed when a friend just wants to talk. I had lunch today with two old friends (coworkers) & they both needed to unload some concerns. I just listened, that's all they needed.

J-vo, you got me to thinking about my own kids when they were 14 year old a$$holes, ha ha! They outgrew it, we all survived. Now I'm thinking my oldest grandson is only 6 years away from being 14 - oh boy!!!

Ava, glad your pup is OK. My 14 year old dog has lumps & bumps all over too, old dog stuff.

Pav, my tooth is in good shape, thanks for asking

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest & continued progress on our mutual goal!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Orimus, thank you for that intersting article. I worked on my presentation today and got everything assembled. Ugg. Now to practice it.

Wonderful posts today, stay strong, everyone! Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Here and heading to bed. Slept terribly last night so excited for another go at it tonight! Hugs to all, you sound good!

[mario]

Good morning nesters, once again in a rush, trying to get mediation in & post here & elsewhere plus trying to eat a breakfast, who said men cant multitask .

Its now part of my daily stops to drop in here to say hello & in doing so gives me a great strength in getting on with my day, no matter what the posts are. Its good to be a part of a wider group in which we all share & are on the same path going in the right direction, sometimes slowly sometimes fast, but we moving along nicely.

have a good day folks.

[Nursie]

Morning Nest!
My little boy's birthday was yestersay so I spent the day making him feel special. The day was filled with love, special surprises, food, and laughter. He said it was the best birthday ever. I truly felt connected to him, I felt all the joy, and I certainly didn't think about alcohol.

I'm relieved that alcohol is over for me. I am relieved I don't have to fight it anymore. I am relieved when I wake up and remind myself that I didn't drink.

I am relieved I stepped out of the ring.

[Nursie]

I should also mention that I have a big birthday coming up and my husband booked a restaurant. I'm so excited! But this will be the first time ever being around every important person in my life all in one place and being sober. I have hurt all of them in some way. I have made them all worry in some way. Now they will all be together and I will not be drinking. I doubt anyone will ask me why, truly. I think they all know why.
My husband scheduled it at 1pm in the afternoon so it's not a big drinking time (for normal drinkers! For the rest of us, any party is fair game!) we will have appetizers, salad, main course, dessert and coffee. Cash bar for those interested in cocktails and the atmosphere is perfect for walking around, visiting the bar, watching the music, and meandering back to the table.
I don't want this party to be like my big coming out or something though. I don't want to make an announcement or make my amends at this party. I want to celebrate being alive to be with all my loved ones after such a horrid road of grief, cancer and addiction. I want to celebrate my life! Most know I don't drink anymore and I'm certainly not worried about sharing that information. I just don't want my birthday party to be a sobriety discussion. Does that make sense?
Any advice for me? What to say if they ask? How to keep it light? I have another week to prepare!

[paulywogg]

Nursie,you battled cancer and won girl! Just tell people you're living a healthy lifestyle now that you have a second chance at life! Or use Byrdies IBS excuse haha,waves to all and I'm wishing us all a happy AF day

[abcowboy]

Nursie, the b-day party sounds like it will be a good day for you, got your priorities all in order! Only one thing I can think of that might help keep the celebration light. Usually the honoured guest makes a little speech at the end of the function, thanking people for coming etc. Why not make your speech at the beginning? Thank everyone, tell them this is a celebration of life, of new beginnings, look at the day as moving forward and not looking at the past.... something along those lines?

[actiongirl46]

Hi Nursie - Congrats on your upcoming big birthday AND your fresh clear outlook on life.

My sister-in-law was a heavy drinker and stopped in October. She always hosts Thanksgiving. She handled it after the inevitable how are you's by saying "I feel amazing!" and then a bit later after the compliments "And that's all I'm going to say about that!"

We all knew she had stopped drinking but in hindsight she did not want to drag that conversation into our family Thanksgiving so that is how she handled it by keeping it light. Worked for us!

You have so much to celebrate! Enjoy!