Newbies Nest

[tonyniceday]

Sorry to hear about the accident Wags, scary stuff. A guy drove full-speed in to the back of my car a year ago while I was stopped at a red light, but he did stop and accept full blame. He hit me so hard, I ended up in the next lane! Luckily I had just started letting my daughter sit up front so she didn't take the impact but we were both really shaken up.
Today, I am feeling internally conflicted. I have the evening to myself - she is at her dad's now for a few days and my mum will be at her house. I asked my mum to stay with us the first couple of weeks after I quit and to hold my bank cards for me. But now, I am having to do this for myself and I cannot get the thought out of my head that I could have wine tonight - and as much as I want - as there will be nobody else to see me. I am trying to think it through - think how the first glass would literally make me grimace and shudder, and how I'd feel tomorrow morning after polishing off a couple of bottles, but the thought keeps returning. I keep stuffing food in my mouth to distract me (poor boy at the desk next to me keeps looking at me in disbelief as more snacks come out of my desk drawers!), but it isn't working so far. I am trying to tell myself that I am going to go home, have a lovely bubble bath, make a cake I bought all the ingredients for and ride it out until I meet my friend later for a curry.

How are you getting on - what sort of cake and are you sharing it???

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Tony - I am not sure where you are. Early on I got stuck at a brewery with a friend who didn't want to leave. We were about an hour from home and I was STUCK. I was so agitated and angry with myself for putting myself there with no escape. I went outside and emailed some sober friends (couldn't call because it was too loud), and did some deep breathing until friend was ready to leave. He wasn't a good friend or I would have told him what was up. Do you have an escape hatch?

Ready - Call your mom! Tell someone in person that you're struggling. Call a friend to pick you up and take you home. Do whatever is necessary to avoid drinking tonight. Play that first glass of wine through. It would make you feel so guilty, then you'd have more. You would wake up at 3am with regret, a headache and the inability to fall back asleep. You'll go to work tomorrow, puffy-eyed and sour stomached. And then what? There is no glass of wine worth all that. One of my BIG triggers was being home alone as it was my drinking time. Get some good takeout, put your PJs on first thing, get ice cream if you need it. You GOT this!

Glad to see you checking in Rahul. I love to hear all you are accomplishing.

Ava, I'm 50-ish also. The way I figure it, I have at least 20 years to work and figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Plenty of time for you to make a switch.

Byrdie - glad you could be there for that man.

Wags - Hope you're healing.

Off to get some more work done. Happy SOBER Hump Day.

xo
Pav

[actiongirl46]

Hi Ready - I am in the same boat. Alone (well, my sons are here, they are older) for a few days. Thanks for expressing that, I have been eating SO MUCH!

Hang in there! I have a few more events tonight (basketball, of course) and then I'm looking forward to some mindless TV and ice cream.

We can do this One Day At A Time.

[actiongirl46]

I came online to read and post my days in Roll Call (Nora's trick) just in case my brain gets a little tricky on me.

[tonyniceday]

Hi, All:

Tony - I am not sure where you are. Early on I got stuck at a brewery with a friend who didn't want to leave. We were about an hour from home and I was STUCK. I was so agitated and angry with myself for putting myself there with no escape. I went outside and emailed some sober friends (couldn't call because it was too loud), and did some deep breathing until friend was ready to leave. He wasn't a good friend or I would have told him what was up. Do you have an escape hatch?

Pav, we have a restaurant with a bar...it was a couple of customers who weren't too bad an Mrs T with 2 friends.... Mrs T doesn't drink much but just sometimes gets carried away... it was one of those nights....all ok tonight but being a recovering Alkie and owning your own bar/restaurant is not the best scenario:egad:

[Byrdlady]

Hey, all!
Well, I gave my powerpoint presentation today (in front of my new boss) and nobody got hurt. I wish the customers had been a little more excited (they didnt seem to know their lines as well as I knew mine!). My boss drove 8 hours to make this meeting with me, we have two more tomorrow also. We just got in from dinner and he didnt drink either so thats good. Ive seen him have an occasional beer, oddly enough, I just dont think he thinks anything of it one way or the other....can you imagine? I actually think he IS a normal drinker because it doesnt matter. Just want to stare at him and say, HOW DO YOU DO THAT? I dont know that I ever was a normal drinker so cant wish to go back to something I never had. Moving on!
Rahul, always great to hear what you are accomplishing! AL really holds us back and keeps us from reaching our true potential. You are living proof! So proud of you, and almost 3 years! I hope you are getting your speech ready for us!
Ava, I reinvented myself at 56. Heck, Ive had more versions than Windows 7, XP and 10!. Its never too late to persue something new!
Hope to get some sleep tonight. Woke up at 2:30 last night with this presentation on my mind. Glad its done!
Ready, do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF. So many of us throw away our string of days or months, only to find they arent that easy to get back. No drink can match the feeling of being sober. Hang in!
Calling it an early night! Byrdie

[Lost Soul]

Hi all,
Hope everyone is well tonight, lots of catching up to do it the nest as always x Thankyou for the birthday wishes, it was a quiet one...pretend I'm not really a year older...
Wags, I am so sorry to hear about the accident you and your pup was in. You sound, understandably, quite shocked. I am really glad to hear neither of you were seriously injured & your friend and partner could support you so quickly at the accident.
Regardless of the events leading up to the collision, it was very wrong at the truck driver to drive away & it is understandable that you would feel angry for them doing so. I would feel exactly the same. I will be thinking of you & sending thoughts of kindness & compassion over the coming days & weeks x Please don't feel guilty for being angry, none of this is you fault x
Well done ADP, Action girl, Marthadan & Tony - you guys are kicking ass!
Ready now, really glad you have family support & enlisting help from your mum in the first few weeks - great idea & well done on 16 days xxx I hope you got through okay & enjoyed your cake & curry (perhaps not in that order?!)
Lovely to see you popping in Roobs & Pauly, hope you are both well x
Byrdie, that sounds like a very unsettling thing to have witnessed, sorry to hear it shook you up a bit. I don't know you in RL, but you've come here & guided & supported people everyday for the last 6+ years! You probably don't realise how much you've helped people! (I'm one of them!) & certainly don't think that is time wasted, I'm very grateful x I hope you have a lovely time away with Mick & his wife too!
Ava, that's so sad & messy. Its peculiar of the family to report him to police for behaving abusively then reporting him missing and unstable the next day, very contradicting behaviour. I hope your weekend is indeed more relaxing than your busy week! & know you & Pav can achieve whatever you want and succeed being the strong ladies that you are x
Tony, it is no laughing matter being an an alkie surrounded by drunks, however the 'caterer' in me is throwing my head back in laughter, thinking it could be worse. It could be MOTHERS DAY!!!
Orimus, Fantasy adventure sounds very exciting & creative! I think of JR Tolkien & Terry Pratchet, sounds enjoyable!
Thanks to everyone's posts, great to read how your all doing x
Thoughts to G.man, Lifechange, Ann, Daisy & JVo & hoping your all okay xxx
Wishing all a safe & sober Thursday
LS

[paulywogg]

LS,just wanted to say that you are such a sweetheart to reach out to everyone in your posts,just a caring gesture that you keep others in your thoughts

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Still dealing with chilly & windy weather here but I am looking forward to some decent weekend weather. I think I may end up doing some outside grilling, ha ha!

Wags, take care of yourself. Sometimes it takes a few days to really process a shock like that. I think we would all be pretty angry if we were in your shoes :hug:

Rahul, great to see you & Congrats on your upcoming 3 year anni
Life is wonderful AF, enjoy!

Ava, you go right ahead & do whatever you want to do! I won't let anyone tell me I can't do something I want to do - no way!!
Pav, same to you. Don't let anyone or anything get in your way of doing something new & exciting

Byrdie, I hope that person is OK. Lucky you were able to call for help! Glad to hear you survived your presentation, ha ha!!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Readynow79]

Morning from not-so-sunny-England! Well, I made it through. Once I had written here, it actually became less of an argument with myself. I drove straight past where I usually buy wine, got home, fed the pets and had a lovely bubble bath reading "Blackout" by Sarah Hepola. I have been reading a lot of drinking-related books these last couple of weeks, I find it helps to remind me of just how bad things got and that there is a way out. At the moment though, I have only read those where AA served to be their way out and I am still not convinced. Anyway, I digress. After my bath, I whacked a ginger cake in the oven which made the house smell gorgeous, then took my time doing my hair and make up before my friend arrived and we went out for a delicious curry. She commented that I didn't order wine but she is not a drinker herself so no big deal. I actually managed to eat more than usual, enjoy it, and remember all the conversation! I made her laugh, I listened to her worries and it was all good. Back home just after 9, I put some lemon icing on the ginger cake but was too stuffed to eat any, watched a bit of TV and then slept like a baby. I know a lot of you guys do this non-drinking thing every day and have done for some time, but I am feeling really proud of myself. On with Day 18!!

[mario]

Good morning nesters,
Readynow you should be proud of your self, we must give ourselves a path on the back as much as we self criticise, make sure you have a plan in place for the witching hours that definitely will come. Sometimes at the most unexpected times.

Byrdlady I can relate to what you said re your boss drinking normally, Even now after all these years of being clean, I still can't understand how and why people can just have one or two and leave it at that.

I am on the tiniest of phone here so I leave it at that, have a good day folks.

[actiongirl46]

Great job Ready!!! You nailed it.

Byrdie, I'm so glad your presentation went well. I do a lot of those myself and if I'm not at least a little nervous ahead of time, it usually doesn't go as well. You can't be too prepared, that's for sure.

Thanks LS for your shout out to those of us working hard on our 30 day goal. Let's get there right in a row Tony, Marthadan, & ADP!! Let's make the nest get sick of celebrating, ha ha!!

[abcowboy]

Re: Newbies Nest

We'll never get sick and tired of celebrating milestones AG! Keep bringing them on!!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Glad to be home! My room was next to the elevator last night, needless to say, that was disruptive. I did think to ask for a room that wasnt on the traffic side, I guess I should have been more specific.
Got some bad news today about my walking partner, she went up to visit her son and to kake a long story short, they did exploratory surgery Monday and discovered advanced cancer of her colon and liver, inoperable. Shortly after, she suffered a stroke. If she stabizes, she will be moved to hospice. Im so sad, she has been a wonderful friend for a long time, we've been walking together for 11 years and lived across the street from each other for 25 years. Her birthday is Sunday. She will be 77. She could walk my butt off, never huffed and puffed like I do. She picked me up from 2 falls while we walked. I cant believe someone so full of life is now about to be called home. Sad. Yet another reason to live each day as if its our last. You just never know.
Hang in everyone. Getting to the other side of this matters. Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sorry about your friend Byrdie