Newbies Nest

[tonyniceday]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Changes
I saw what you said on another thread about worrying about posting on here but you really have no worries on that score at all. Yes we do all appear to "know eachother" on here and the reason is that we are all on here to support and help each other along the alcohol-free journey.

Don't worry about "fitting in" or any of that. You ARE in as soon as you post here, you're now in the nest and because we all have a common goal, you'll find that you'll get responses to your posts and very soon will be joining in with any or all the conversations you want...Looking forward to you posting "day 2" on the roll call today!
Tony

[tonyniceday]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nest

So I've hit a short term target today (30 days) and I set that following advice on here. I'm still absolutely "One day at a time" but what was the next realistic target anyone set?

[mario]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters,

Changes ,imo more or less, we would all have the same story about our addiction & how it brought hell to our life's, There is no one better or worse here, we all have so much in common is what brings us back & sharing what we are/have gone through, we have come to accept that our addiction is our enemy not our friend. Post what ever you want, what ever your feeling, we can relate, But. At the end of the day its all down to oneself & how much you want to get clean sober and a new better life, In all my years around I have not met one person who has followed through on this hard road & come out the other side not a happier fulfilled & clean person.


Have a nice day folks & don't quit quitting.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Tony, so proud of your 30 days! Here 's your hat! :guy: as far as the next goal? 31! Bah! Seriously! After I hit 30, I counted out when 100 would be and out that on my calendar, that became my next goal. I had subgoals, of course, 60 and 90 are big, but 100 is the MotherGoal, at least it was for me. Im so proud of you!
Neo, you are so right, everything has so much salt, I am resorting to eating fresh fruits and veggies, bah! I live out of a can, so this is a big shift! I hate lifestyle changes! :egad:

Changes, Im so happy to see you. You wont meet any strangers here, we all know where you are coming from and we are here to help! So glad you are here!

Hope everyone has an easy Sunday, tomorrow is a holiday for us, yay! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

TONY! Congratulations! I was going to say exactly what Byrdie said, so I'll leave it at that. 90 felt big to me, but 100 was the mother lode. There was a tradition here for a 30 day "speech" to help newer members understand what it was like and how you made it through. Anything to add? Speech, speech!

Byrdie - so sorry about your friend. Not much else to say. Glad your presentation went well.

Looking for G, LC and J-Vo...

Happy SOBER Sunday,
Pav

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone,

Byrdie, so sorry to hear about your friend. She sounds like an inspiring character. Hugs to you.

Tony, congratulations on 30 days! That's a huge accomplishment. Keep your focus, One day, one minute at a time.

Ready, I'm so glad you pushed through your rough patch. I think all of us can relate to having a time where intense, skin crawling, crazy thinking, cravings make us want to give up. But you did it, it's possible to get past those uncomfortable moments or hours and we come out the other side a little stronger and more self confident. Well done.

Nursie, I could use a little tidying in my house right now. I just wish my kids and husband felt the same!

Welcome changes! Stick around, jump in full force. We're in this together!

Have a great sober Sunday everyone.
Day 97 for me. Yay!

[tonyniceday]

Re: Newbies Nest

A speech again?

Back last year I actually hit 108 days before I thought I could just have one drink and be all right - lesson learnt... but I looked back and this was my speech in July last year, at 30 days, and this is what I said then...

If I think back to day 1, it makes me shudder. I came on here a gibbering wreck, hung-over, nauseous, VERY scared, with the DT's and the voices of my wife and the Doctor ringing in my ears, not knowing, once again, how the hell I was actually going to start to kick Al into touch. I never, ever EVER want, or intend to experience that again.

Yes, I had medical help, yes, I've read a lot, Yes, my wife has been really supportive, Yes I've had psychiatric help (which has now been re-instated - letter this morning! because my local Doc won the argument that I still need a psychiatrist (2 edged sword??))

But, and this really is MOST important of all, knowing I could come on here and have a rant, get things off my chest, and get help from people who know EXACTLY what I've been through has been the lynch pin to getting this far. I've only ever got to 14 days before and here I am 30 days AF - amazing.

I would like to thank ALL of you who have posted anything on here that has helped. Particularly Byrdie, Lav, Ava & Eloise and, of course, last and by NO MEANS least, my very own quit-buddy Sky.

(Actually, Sky, I've just realised that you will get an extra prize from PP1 in a couple of days as you'll be getting day 7 again - so very soon you will always have one more than me.....)

As to the plan and goals.

The plan is very simple. I cannot avoid the al situation at work, but I will continue to avoid much of it socially, but accepting that I can now socialise with those who still have Al, but who know why I cannot.
I will continue with the ODAAT mantra which I've recently added to my signature line because it is SO important.

My short term plan is now to hit 70 days (10 weeks) as it's something that someone close to me had trouble with and it's very important personally. Also to be AF for the 1st weekend in September which is a HUGE festival weekend here and I may well be the only sober person, not only in the village, but the whole Glen (Valley).

Thank you all once again.

TOGETHER WE CAN DO THIS.

Tony XO

A whole lot of it this time is "rinse and repeat" but the big difference at the outset was that I realised in early January that I cannot moderate and needed to be totally AF again. This time permanently...

Rightly or wrongly, I planned my day 1 this time, so it was a bit different...we had a holiday booked and flew back on 19th January. I drank while on holiday (only once to excess but that's irrelevant really) and then on 20th finished off what was at home. I'd been to the Doctor and seen my psychiatrist and had everything in place so planned that I would go AF from 21st January.

All I would add to what I said before was that posting and keeping on posting on here is an incredible tool. It works. Yes, you can get anything else you think you might need to help you...meds, shrinks, anything, but making yourself accountable to like minded people, and hopefully helping others along the way too is a massive incentive.

Thank you all for being here for me and for everyone else.

Proper new goal is 100 days,as suggested, but I'll be a pain in the butt around 90 because, as someone has in their tag line "relapse starts long before the bottle is opened" and I think I knew I could get to 100 then but also had started to think that I'd proved everything I needed to, to myself, and could handle "a drink" after that....WRONG

Also I have an interim goal of 70 for personal reasons.

As to Sky, I'm still in touch with her occasionally elsewhere and sometimes she lurks here - hopefully she'll be back soon!

Thanks to all, I'm naming no-one so I don't miss anyone out but you know who you are.

Tony XO:heartbeat::love:

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

Tony - CONGRATULATIONS! You are doing fantastic. You be sure to be a pain the butt at 90 days. I did the same thing when I got to 100 days. I can do this! Yeah right. Took me a long time to get back to it.
I'm so happy for you.

I was reading thru some e-mails that I received from Belle (Tired of Thinking about Drinking) and I saw this today. Hit home with me:

Here's the thing about sober momentum that your brain doesn't tell you: It's hard to get. Sober momentum is hard to get. If you've got 10 days sober, you don't do anything to jeopardize that. If you've got 2 days sober, you don't do *anything* to lose those two days. Because sober momentum is hard to get. The problem is that you have a brain that tells you that it's easy. Your brain tells you "I quit before, I can quit later." When the reality is that sober momentum is a gift, a weird gift, that doesn't come with instructions. And on the other side, you have a brain saying "ah, give it up, it doesn't matter." You're reading this, so that I can tell you that your brain is not telling you the truth. And that sober momentum is a REALLY big deal. And that you need to protect it.

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

This was another interesting tidbit that I read from Belle's blog:

“Belle, the 3 factors I understood were: (1) Do not drift from your sober supports. (2) Do prepare for potentially dangerous situations by having your tool kit with you. The key being “prepared in advance”. (3) Accept shitty days as part of life. Accept that they will come and you can get through them without alcohol.”

I am glad that I read this today. Getting ready for a hard trip and I'm going to 'prepare in advance'.

[Orimus]

Re: Newbies Nest

GMAE everyone,

Byrdie – Sorry to hear about your friend. So true about the salt – I never add it due to BP and buy everything low sodium but avoiding it ….. I think one of the biggest salt offenders is canned soups.

Tony – Congrats on 30. Onward to 100 - “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” - Napoleon Hill

Nora – So true about sober momentum and the lies/rationales our brains can concoct.

A beautiful Sunday here in Jersey and … a migraine took most of it. Still plenty of day left though and a holiday tomorrow which is also supposed to be beautiful. Saw an interesting article about scientists thinking of creating a Wooly Mammoth/elephant hybrid to combat climate change. (https://weather.com/science/nature/n...mammoth-return) What could go wrong with that! Lol

Despite the migraine another wonderful day to be a non-drinker. Have a great AF day all!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Changes! Welcome! Glad you are here.

Tony, I went for 60 next, but I will tell you that I had a hard time with cravings until about day 68 (I know, weird), so be sure to stick it out past 60. I would make it a celebration at 60, with the knowledge that you are continuing right on to 100. THAT'S when the real magic began for me; I knew I could do it and not look back.

I did have a hard time last night for about 30 min. I was hungry and I think the sugar in the margaritas, along with the fact that we were with friends and without kids, made me want it. So I got a home-brewed gingerale and it really hit the spot. Not long after that, my husband started getting really drunk and it was such a bummer. Yuck! I remember that desire to "really go for it", especially after a hard day (which we had), but he paid for it. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad I was sober and I had a great time after that! The music was so fun!

It really helps me to remember that it really is only a 30 min-1 hr. time period that I crave it - and then it turns into relief!

Hope everyone is having a good Sunday.

[Lost Soul]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all,
Have been a bit awol the last few evenings, as my eldest has needed 'meaning of life' chats... all a bit heavy & draining, but he's feeling okay/better or at least a bit clearer - so that's the main thing.
Been a busy weekend here, so have been reading through again tonight & enjoying all the posts & wisdom x
Byrdie, so sorry to hear about your friend. It's so sad when someone we love takes ill, but for her cancer to be inoperable - It is very tragic. That is so true, you don't know what tomorrow holds & we need to make the most of today. I hope you will be feeling better yourself soon too - avoiding salt must be hard, it really is in everything we eat, especially processed foods.
Actiongirl, you guys are doing so well - It is really hard work so you should be so proud!
Nursie, 113 days is class! I think having ' nice environment' at home is helpful! Not sure about mess free, I'm forever picking up my little ponies & accessories, but as much prettiness that you can get away with at least! I like moulded flower candles, fairylights...I could go on...! Oh and flowers, lots of :love:
Mario, I often wonder how the human being machine got it soo wrong...There are NO instructions or directions! Your absolutely right, we are just doing the best we can, with what we've got x
Kensho, I hope you've a nice music night, sorry you had AL thoughts, but glad you decided to have some food & AF drink to help x I'm looking forward to hearing about your awesome spa day!
Lav, glad your weather is a bit milder for a bit, even if it's just for a little while x
Sĺ Hope you & the girls are well? I think it's different for everyone but definately slowly wins the race... I found a really beautiful poem on here called 'she let go' by Ernest Holmes http:// https://www.mywayout.org/community/g...copy-poem.html It's in the 3rd post xx I think life goes on beyond our addiction & the sentiment of that poem is particularly touching for me because it reminds me true acceptance in myself, in my heart & soul matters the most. Addiction knocks us around a little (indeed so does life at times) But I think beyond addiction, lies our true selves & worth not changing...I will continue to put the bins out, with gusto!
Lovely to see you here Changes :welcome: well done on posting & getting through day1, I find the support here invaluable beating AL & being around people who understand really helpful x
Roobs, that's super news! Can't believe your at the near 100!
Glad you got through Ready & hope you feel all the stronger for it!
Tony, well done on 30 days :hugs: Glad you sound so committed x
Wishing all a safe & sober
Sunday
LS

[Changes]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you for the welcomes to the Nest. I did feel a little insecure yesterday about not knowing where to post, but this morning I thought that if I am changing my way (Changes) then I need to change the way I think about myself also.

Neo, I also believe that sugar increases cravings for me, but natural sugar like fruit is different somehow. I ate oranges and blueberries yesterday and felt pretty good with it.

Congrats on 30 Tony.

With all my past failed attempts at quitting, I will rephrase that to past learning experiences. I am realizing like you mentioned Mario that it comes down to how much I truly want this, and what are my reasons for wanting this which I think I know now and I am trying to remind myself constantly. I sure hope I can keep my brain thinking in that same direction.

Byrdlady I found my way here, thank you. Hi Pavati, Roobs, NoraC. I hope your migraine quiets down soon Orimus. Kensho, great that you stayed strong last night and hello Lost Sole. I hope I didn't miss anyone.

For a strange reason I couldn't log back in, I thought maybe I forgot my name and/or password, but now I am back on. Not sure if brain malfunction or computer, but I do know I am tired. I am glad I joined here, thank you.

[Struggles 106]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone
I'm back. I didn't intend to be gone for so long. Not drinking though but I've been sick.
Ok now more or less- enough with doctors!
Happy to be back- 4 months now and no desire for the grog. I think I I had a drink at this moment I would surely barf.
Almost spring here and I have to decide about moving soon. I so badly want a place of my own w/o my daughter and granddaughter. I feel like I dresser even my space but then the guilt kicks in, especially since the baby is the way she is. She will be 2 and 1/2 soon and can say only "mama". A topic for another day- but I feel that my daughter should be reaching out to parents of kids with this rare disorder, but who am I?
She has 3 great therapists so that's good but I am so tired.
Thank you all for still being here'

Ann C

[marthadan]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone, haven't been writing but have been reading from you every day! I'm so far behind on commenting that I just want to say a quick hello. Waiting for my flight back home. Had a sometimes tough but very sober visit with the fam. EVERYONE was drinking, mostly a lot. I just logged in to MYO and kept charging my batteries here. It really helped to read what everyone was going through staying sober! So thanks! Birdie - sorry to read about your friend. Tony - knowing your one day ahead of me and going strong is real encouragement! Way to go! Have a sober week everyone! Bless.