Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Great to see everyone
We had a rather weird weather day today that started warm (70 degrees) & sunny, ended up with a big storm & temps dropping 30 degrees tonight - geez!

Changes, I love that show 'MOM" & I agree that type of group meeting would be beneficial to most people. I don't go to AA myself & I am positive I would not be willing to attend a meeting where folks were court ordered. MWO has given me the tools to meet my goals & the fellowship here is priceless. You can do the same I'm sure. Just be sure to make a visit daily & let us know how you are doing.

Deja, I love listening to Brene Brown too!

Looking forward to spending time with my granddaughter tomorrow on her 6th birthday. I have been fully present every moment of her life so far & I intend to stay that way. The AF life is good & I am a grateful granny

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Neo]

Re: Newbies Nest

great day today with top of 35 - low of 17C for the whole week (63-93F)

Day 8 and feel the best this arvo than I have all week . Eating well , :turd2: well (no more missing persons unit for 1/2 hr , + picked up more time for my day) and finding local AA which is on 7pm tonight so going to give it a go if I can. Over the hardest brain draining part , now it's just 1 day at a time.

Post Update - Unfortunately , I felt bad/guilty about missing the AA meeting that was on tonight ,however it has been my first week and am just getting over the confusion and irritability over last week .Have been feeling better each day and I think It will be even better next Sunday

[mario]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters...

Fair play to you Neo for trying, Sure if its for you its for you, and if not just keep chipping away until you find what works for you, I myself use lots of different tools to stay on the clean, sobriety road.

I was thinking of my illusion in my past life yesterday, here is one.

I was living very sparely in a house in Portugal, I lived to drink & drank to live, That was my life. I was an avid reader & when I had no money & just lying in my bed feeling sorry for myself I sometimes read books to past the time of hangover/anxiety/self-pitying/why me crap in my life.
Anyway a friend I knew dropped me up the big book, maybe in hindsight she was trying to help me but didn't want to say anything to me about my drinking, So as in them days I couldn't sleep due to insomnia etc I read the book from cover to cover, and when I finished it I thought to myself, Thank God I am not like any of them folks in that book, they need help. It be at least another 6 years before I realised I was reading about my self.

Have a good day folks & don't quit quitting.

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters, Tis a lovely sunny day here in Spain.

Just a thought on the folks above about AA, You can if you wish do AA online, like a lot of things now its all only atouchbutton away.

Its funny in a way that we get a bit embarrassed about how people might judge us if they see us going to AA or other fellowships meetings etc & yet no problem them seeing us make a fool of ourselves over & over while we were drinking,

Have a nice day folks.

Great point Mario and to add to that- brings to mind a self help addiction book that I was so fortunate enough to find towards the end of my Alcohol induced demise.
The author breaks down *ethyl alcohol for what it truly is, and refers to it in the book as "perfectly packaged poison" my point here is that society has excepted drinking as "norm" and not drinking as the deranged. So naturally most feel segregated, and or embarrassed about not drinking,
for if you do not drink you must be "one of those people" fill in the blank-

This really helped to change my entire mindset about booze and that it is factually a poison and if it were not around and introduced to the FDA today as a food or drink it would never pass.

*ethyl alcohol
a colorless volatile flammable liquid that is produced by the natural fermentation of sugars and is the intoxicating constituent of wine, beer, spirits, and other drinks, and is also used as an industrial solvent and as fuel.

NO THANKS!
Stay hard freaks!

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

That's a fact Jack!

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[Nursie]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning!
I'm thoroughly exhausted on this lovely Sunday.
Boy Scouts had a fabulous day yesterday. I won a prize for the chili cook off. Then we had a tornado touch down and the power went out everywhere. Traffic lights out, trees down, power lines down, it was very scary!
Glad to be sober and feeling good!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Matt, great posts, both! The BS factor is huge....how on Earth could we rationalize what we were doing to ourselves and our family? Unreal.

Mario, it is amazing that we think we werent as bad as so and so and our cycle continues. Denial is THE biggest factor in this whole thing. I wish I knew the magic words to say to help people break the cycle, somehow turn on their reciever to be able to LISTEN and take information on board. There is a breaking point in everyone, eventually, and where it finally stops is up to us. I only wish I had stopped 20 years ago, but it is what it is, at least it finally DID STOP.

Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF. Byrdie

[marthadan]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good afternoon everyone. Thanks for the fantastic posts! Mario and Birdie - I sometimes still think I'm one of those saying " thank goodness that's not me!" But I keep bringing myself back to reality - yes that's me. The one who cannot stop at one drink. The one who needs to stay sober to have a life. Matt I love the "ethyl alcohol" tag. Unbelievable how we accept poisoning our bodies and insist on being healthy in other areas!! Today as I made lunch, had some serious cravings! But it's like I'm talking to another person saying - have a smoothie! Or something. It's been hard - surrounded by everyone drinking. But it's made me realize it's MY decision. I own it. It's what I want. I'm getting better at zoning the al out of my reality. What freedom!! Enjoy your sober Sunday folks! Bless.

[marthadan]

Re: Newbies Nest

PS - I must thank whoever suggested logging into MWO at least twice a day! It's been a lifesaver, even when I don't have time or energy to post. Boosts the morale!!:goodjob:

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello nesters,
Happy sober Sunday. I'm not sure where the time has gone but I've been away for a few days. Life gets so busy but I fear as you said Byrdie and as I have already experienced, if I drift away for too long , I may start drinking again. So here I am, touching base, feeling inspired by everyone here and grateful to be sober.

Starting day 104 and feeling great! Yesterday I was full of anxiety, some of it irrational and some probably valid. I was frantically cleaning and organizing and purging stuff while feeling resentful and angry towards my husband, my family and stupid stuff. I was getting so worked up thinking woes me, how was I going to get everything done, blah,blah,blah. Anyway, I had a scheduled horseback riding lesson that I was about to cancel because "there was just too much to do," I didn't cancel, I went knowing that it would be good for me but a little worried that my horse would pick up on my anxiety and lack of confidence. Turns out it was exactly what I needed. It took me out side my head. I had to focus on my horse, what I was asking him to do, our connection and our goal. It was exactly what I needed to calm my head and heart. This particular horse has that old soul feeling and just seems to know what you need. That's not to say he doesn't challenge me, he just gets me. It was also great because my dog just runs around the outside of the arena next to us and she reminds me that life is great if we let it be. The rest of the day was calm and beautiful.:heartbeat:
Happy Sunday?
Roobs

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,

Still reeling in the aftermath of my car accident. My insurance co officially totaled my vehicle - the appraiser said it was obvious upon first glance but of course he had to go through the full evaluation anyway. When he called to give me the news, he said "I'm glad I'm speaking with you, and I'm surprised I'm not speaking with you in a hospital. You, as the driver, absorbed a tremendous impact, but your car did a very good job for you - it did exactly what it was supposed to do. If anyone had been in your back seat, they would probably have been killed or seriously injured."

My dog WAS in the backseat. Fortunately, and by some miracle, she emerged completely unscathed from the accident. But the appraisers words made me cry and still do. I cry in relief that I am relatively ok. I cry with gratitude that my dog is ok - if I had lost her in this accident I think it would have broken me.

I still have a long road to recovery. My dr has taken me off work at least through Mar 10, so almost 4 full weeks of not working. I'm ok with that - I need the time to put my energy toward healing and toward all of the gazillion things one has to do after such a bad accident. There are so many phone calls to make, so many forms to fill out. And of course everyone wants stuff done within the first 72 hours of the accident - absolutely ridiculous. I'm just now, almost 2 weeks later, emerging from the shock and the fog.

I will admit I am overwhelmed and exhausted. I already went through a very difficult rehab after another bad car accident (also not my fault, but at least the first one wasn't a hit-and-run) about 15 years ago. I cannot believe that I have this mountain to climb again. I definitely have moments of self-pity, of "what did I do to deserve this?" I didn't drink after my previous car accident, but I was on narcotic pain meds for several years, and then had a terrible ordeal getting off of them. I wasn't addicted, but I was physically very dependent and withdrawal was sheer hell. This time, although part of me wants the almost instantaneous relief, I am not taking those meds and am instead relying on other methods of pain management.

I am trying to use this as an opportunity to reframe things, to develop some different skills, to strengthen my already fairly robust resilience. But there are moments, hours, days where I simply just cry

Only once, I think, have thoughts of drinking crossed my mind. They were thoughts from the old me. Last week I had a particularly challenging day, and by the time I got home I was physically and emotionally spent. I said out loud to my partner, "if I was ever gonna break down and have a few beers, today would be the day."

But you know what, I didn't do it. The thought actually passed fairly quickly and without a lot of analysis. I did NOT drink, and I feel like it was a corner that I turned. Like I've really arrived on a new level with my quit. Do I think I'm safe, that I'll never be tempted again? No, absolutely not. But I've built a very solid rung on my ladder - a new bar of comparison. In the future, I will definitely have to remind myself "you didn't drink THAT day, so you won't drink THIS day."

I am struggling with many things right now, but al isn't one of them, and for that I am extremely grateful.

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hugs to you Wagmor.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

There have been so many good posts lately - so many people reaching benchmarks, or climbing back in the saddle. I have enjoyed the conversation about AA and similar groups/programs. I am so glad to be here with all of you, and I'm sorry for not responding more.

I do thank all of you for your sentiments that it's helpful to hear how I'm dealing with my post-accident stresses without drinking. I'm glad to offer that as best as I can. I do feel pretty solid, as my post above indicates. I attribute a lot of that to MWO and specifically to this wonderful nest. I will gradually continue to get caught up, and will do my best to continue to share my journey. :hug:

Matt M - the reframing of al as an actual poison, as a solvent, really helped me too. When temptation comes around, I ask myself if I would drink bleach or some other noxious liquid just to escape, feel numb or have some "fun" for a few hours. The answer is so clearly NO!!! This helps me say no to al - recognizing it's wily ways and it's methods of distorting the truth and revealing it for what it truly is.

Byrdie - I hope you have a fantastic AF vacation. What a relief to not have to plan and/or pack al for all of those days.

Marthadan - Yes twice a day can be very helpful, even for just reading if not posting.

Pav - glad you were able to ride out that down period you were feeling. I think the core of what you and others have said is SO important: Life naturally has better days and worse days, feelings will go up and down, and al is not some magic cure that prevents those downs. If anything, it causes more of them. Most (all?) of us have to learn and develop different strategies for coping with, relieving, and/or riding out those blues. This has been a key learning for me. Al tries to trick us into thinking that just a few sips will make us feel better. We all know this isn't true at all, but the lie is there. Glad to hear you found your way through without it - you're now on the other side and stronger for the experience.

Roobs - belated congrats on 100 days!!! I loved your story about horseback riding. So glad to hear it was just what you needed. Indeed, getting "outside our heads" is probably what many of us need at times. Good reminder, and so happy you had that positive experience.

Nursie - so glad you weren't hurt or put in danger during the tornado. Those can be very scary!

Neo - Keep up the great work. Whether you choose to include AA or not is a personal decision. I've never been to a meeting myself - I've always been a bit turned off by some of the basic philosophy (or at least my presumptions about them based on what I've heard) but I do love groups. I guess MWO is my "group" and it's what works for me. But I can totally see how meeting in person would have some appeal and some benefit.

[Lost Soul]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all,
A very quick check in tonight, funnily the site was down for maintenance for a short time this evening? I wonder if anyone had difficulties checking in?
Its great to hear everyone working through their personal journeys & sharing the sometimes ups & downs of sober life, as always a real encouragement & inspiration that we collectively can achieve & get through so much x My head is a bit tired at the moment so I just wanted 2 say a big thank you for all your guidance & support xxx
Wishing all a safe and sober Sunday
LS

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Great to see everyone checking in & staying safe. There's great strength in numbers, right?
I had a great day celebrating my granddaughter's 6th birthday, fun!

Wags, you sound unbelievably strong considering all you have been thru. Be proud, get well soon & get back to the wonderful life you deserve.

Roobs, spending time out in nature with your favorite horse & dog sounds wonderful, relaxing & healing

Nursie, I have only witnessed one tornado in my lifetime & that was enough!! Grateful you are OK. We went thru all the scouting fun with our kids when they were growing up & now our grandkids are scouts as well. Such a wonderful tradition!

Matt, no more poison for us - never!!!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav