Newbies Nest

[scottish lass]

Re: Newbies Nest

LS - don't go - I have gone before when I have been upset by a post. Then I realize I need to be selfish - I am here for me and me only. One day I might manage to be here for others, but not yet. I take what I need and ignore the rest.

It is really hard as I am not a taker, but I have to make this work - so keep telling myself to do what I need - sometimes I don't read all the posts, just those that I know resonate with me.

Please don't go - don't let someone have that power over you!

[Orimus]

Re: Newbies Nest

LS - I'm so sorry you don't feel safe here right now. We'll be here anytime you need. <hugs> I do hope you stay with the army thread rather than leaving mwo altogether.

[satz123]

Re: Newbies Nest

There is no pride or humility seeking to feel superior to others less fortunate.
Least of all in finding sobriety & sharing this in the 'Newbies Nest' of an alcohol abuse support forum.
How do I report this post?

Oh please lighten up. That was tongue - in - cheek response to Cowboy ....
I am allowed to be proud of what I've achieved. I was talking about my own family & circle of friends - not the people on here who struggle.
Check out my post count - I've been sober 4 years & on here helping anyone who needs it.

[satz123]

Re: Newbies Nest

:checkin:
I have to admit though, there is sneaking pride in being able to accomplish something others haven't - so I allow myself that secret luxury.

People have taken this post as being smug - far from it. I admire greatly everyone who is on this forum.
I was referring to my own family and friends and my particularly annoying SIL in particular.
But if you chose to think I was being smug and cruel - then so be it. You do not know me at all !!

[satz123]

Re: Newbies Nest

I agree with LS that post sounded very smug,I thought we were here to support one another..not feel superior to each other if I had long lasting sobriety I'd only wish for the same for my friends here..not feel like I was better than them

Really Pauly ??? When have I ever acted superior to anyone. I've hung around here for years to support others.
You disappoint me.

[Lost Soul]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you Satz for clarifying that your original post was in relation to your own personal family situation and not to others in early sobriety.
Unfortunately you did not address your response to ABC clearly regarding this or privately.
You chose to express yourself unclearly, publicly on an alcohol abuse forum which provides support to alcoholics in an area designated to people in early sobriety. This is a very serious matter and no one should lighten up with respect to alcoholism.
Your are correct, I do not know you. Which is precisely why your comment was unsupportive to potential new members and people in early sobriety.
You should be very proud of your sobriety, openly because it is a wonderful achievement in relation to your own personal struggles. So should all members who have achieved long term sobriety because it is a wonderful achievement & moreso choose to share it here to help others.
However 'I reiterate there is no pride or humility in 'sneaking pride in achieving something others haven't'. I never at any stage wish to find sobriety at the expense of another. And without context to your own personal struggles that is exactly how I read that.

[tonyniceday]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey guys

It's well gone midnight here and time I was in bed but I've been mulling over the above stuff for half an hour or so, and wondering whether to say something or not.

We are all on a journey. I think that whether we are thousands of days in or just starting out, we all need to encourage each other and ourselves. Every day, for every single one of us is another victory in our battle with alcohol. I hope no one new looking in here tonight thinks that the last couple of pages are typical of this thread or site. They certainly are not!

We can so easily word something wrongly, or cause offence without meaning to, or look at something and think it's personal to us, or take it in the wrong way.

Whatever we've said or read, and I know I've upset someone on here before without intending to, we are all on an incredibly difficult but supremely important road of recovery. Lets just support each other. With all the different backgrounds, cultures, nationalities, and so on, there are bound to be differences of opinion from time to time, but we all NEED each other as we battle with our addiction and I looked right back to the first couple of pages of posts on this thread tonight and lets just settle into the comfort of the nest, and get some rest and help each other on the way again tomorrow.

Have a comfy, cosy, and peaceful AF night all.

Tony :hug::hug::hug::hug:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

This stuff happens in the nest from time to time.
Sometimes a person posts something without considering that what they are positing could be affect another person negatively. It's usually not intentional but it happens nonetheless.

satz, you usually don't post in the nest, possibly some folks don't know you or understand what you were trying to express. Maybe a simple apology would just put this whole thing to rest. We are here to support one another & need to consider everyone's feelings & sensitivities.

LS, please stay & continue to post. Your sobriety has to remain top priority, we want the best for you & everyone here.

Lil, CONGRATS to you on your 2 year AF anniversary :welldone:
You not only have 2 years of sobriety you also have your health & I am very happy for you!

Mario, that must have been shocking to find out about the demise of your former friends.
These are the times we have to be especially grateful that we are no longer on that path.

Byrdie, thinking of you & hoping the prednisone does it's magic :hug:

Wishing everyone a safe & comfortable night in the nest!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon nesters

Congratulations Lilbit on 2 years of sobriety. I hope you have a lovely day with a huge smile on your dial. You deserve this.

Oh Dutch if i could only find a cure for stress that does not involve violence to another then id share it gladly. I did find that sex helped immensely though! (Well he did ask). Happy 2 years to you also and i hope life is treating you okay and the family is well.

I am proud each and every day of my sobriety and i know i am very lucky to have this gift. We all fight for sobriety and need a community that supports and understands this battle. No one on here is any better or worse than anyone else. We are alcoholics, plain and simple and i am grateful to be able to be with people who understand me as the alcoholic that i am.

Off to make some lunch and do some homework again. I know that my life is good and i am grateful to MWO for what it has given me and that is my life.

take care x

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,
Lilbit! Big congratulations on 2 years of sobriety! I was thinking about you a while ago and wondering how you were.. very well, it sounds..:happy2:
I've got a whole lot of nothing planned today. Still not feeling so hot and trying to be ok with it. I can remember plenty of days where I wished I had nothing to do.. where I could just hang low and relax.. and now I have it, right?
I liked your post yesterday, AB..it's true that we're all responsible for making sure that our lives are meaningful and make sense to us. I am happy to say that I have found that in my life up until now.. at least in hindsight.. and despite the drinking, my one big regret. Which I'm sure at some point will have some sort of meaning in hindsight. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other..
These past couple of weeks I've realized, with getting older, and especially with being physically "debilitated", that I need to begin to think about what I'll do when I can't do the work I've been doing for the past 25 years.. I guess I always imagined I would do this (I'm a cook) until I couldn't and then figure it out.. and I don't in any way think I'm done.. but it is the first time ever that I can see and feel that I will have to find something different at some point. It should be exciting, I guess, but it's also frightening.
ok Off to eat a healthy breakfast.. my second step to starting the day off on the right foot..
see you all in a bit..

[ADP]

Re: Newbies Nest

Staying close and reading back. Will consider the last couple of pages another time.

My cold is still clinging on and my usual 'Hot Toddy' is a defo. NO-NO! So getting through several rolls of kitchen paper instead............... :-)

Now over 6 weeks free of poison and dare I say, very happy about that. If I can, anyone can.........I do not wish to be in hospital again!!!

Be safe and AF all,

ADP xx

[mario]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters.

Just on the above disagreement ,"If comprehending human communication consisted merely of translating sentences and syntax into thoughts and ideas, there would be no room for misunderstanding, "But it does not, and so there is."

Folks the main & only reason why we are here is to help ourselves get rid of this addiction as beast as we can, We are not all going to agree with each other all the time, But hey this is not facebook & we should be able to look over our differences & instead look for what we have in common & how & why we are all here, which is because we are addicts/alcoholics/abusive drinkers & our lifes are a mess.

Lost soul there is know reason whatsoever for you to leave the forum, you are here for you.I sincerely hope you don't leave,but we all have to make our own choices in this life.

Lilbit very well done & huge congratulations, its great reading the progress.

Hello & big waves to everyobe else I find it hard to multitask with all the different posts ha ha sure I am only a man :-)

have a great day folks.

[Neo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I know how hard the first 1-2 weeks are and been there multiple times and appreciate the effort and mental fortitude it takes the first week. I did both smokes and beer .Remember it very well and this is when people do need support or need to be coming here to post as it really helps

I also know people get really upset if they have done very well and then have a night on the plonk after x number of weeks or months. I class it as this. Did you slip up or relapse? . I class slip up as 1-2 days , lets get back on our sober streak. I class relapse as 2 days + cos alcohol will take you again

I've got a quit smoking app that calculates it this way and thought that was pretty cool and much better than beating yourself up .

I also know 2 months down the track if I drink, I will get 10 beers and even if my tolerance were to lower, my mind muscles are trained on 10 ,but for now it's one day at a time . So certainly be easy on yourself and other people.

[satz123]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you Satz for clarifying that your original post was in relation to your own personal family situation and not to others in early sobriety.
Unfortunately you did not address your response to ABC clearly regarding this or privately.
You chose to express yourself unclearly, publicly on an alcohol abuse forum which provides support to alcoholics in an area designated to people in early sobriety. This is a very serious matter and no one should lighten up with respect to alcoholism.
Your are correct, I do not know you. Which is precisely why your comment was unsupportive to potential new members and people in early sobriety.
You should be very proud of your sobriety, openly because it is a wonderful achievement in relation to your own personal struggles. So should all members who have achieved long term sobriety because it is a wonderful achievement & moreso choose to share it here to help others.
However 'I reiterate there is no pride or humility in 'sneaking pride in achieving something others haven't'. I never at any stage wish to find sobriety at the expense of another. And without context to your own personal struggles that is exactly how I read that.

Please stop preaching at me LS.
I will not apologise that you took offence - that is your issue and where you are in your struggle - I understand that .... but be happy in your sobriety - it's is a joyous thing. THAT is what we should be conveying to 'newbies' the JOY of being sober.. and I do it in my own way.
My SIL is a constant thorn in my side and for once in my life I got somethnig she would love to have - able to enjoy life without alcohol -but doesn't even try.
I will still post on this and any thread I choose and hope I don't step on any other toes. :thumbs:

Sorry for the negativty to the rest of the folks on here still struggling - it's over now.

The End
Satz

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nesters.
All I can say is that if I left this site everytime something rubbed me the wrong way, I would have been gone the first week. This is a community of different people in various stages of this process, its a wonder there isnt MORE trouble. My posture is to take what I NEED and leave the rest. I am very selfish in this. I am here for ME first and foremost. Leaving would be cutting off my nose to spite my face. I need this forum therefore I think that if I have a criticism of it, it is up to me to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
When I was early in my quit, something happened (I dont even remeber what it was but I got my nose severely out of joint). Several people made a statement that they were out of here and they stormed off. Dont ask me why, but I wrote their names down on a sticky. Every single one of them relapsed. Every one. Many still havent achieved sobriety. That taught me a real lesson. Be part of the SOLUTION. I looked (and still look) to Lav for guidance on this, she just doesn't engage in disruption, she keeps her eyes on the goal, so I follow her lead and so far, its working like a charm. Stay true to the Mission.
Hope everyone has an easy day. Byrdie