Newbies Nest

[mario]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just a quick hello today, all good here...

[Readynow79]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning everyone from a surprisingly sunny UK! I am feeling much more positive today - I confessed my mess-up to my mum and my sister, and gave my daughter lots of cuddles and love. I told the last few friends I hadn't told that I have quit drinking - only one even asked why! Another said good for me, her friend has done the same, lost weight and saved money, another friend said her brother has started in AA which has made her examine her own drinking and cut back, 3 others gave their full support and understanding and beyond that, there is nobody close enough to really matter. It isn't the "social" side of drinking that has really been my problem these last few years, it is the secret, home alone drinking which only I know the full extent of. I really want to move past that shame and guilt and be able to forgive myself but that will take time.
Thank you all for your support yesterday when I was so very very down. :love:

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,
It's been good to read about so many of you overcoming health issues/obstacles without using alcohol to numb/escape..
Wags, I'd seen that you'd been in a bad car accident.. I hadn't realized it was a hit and run. Terrible. I'm glad you're slowly beginning to feel better. I know from my current situation that it's difficult to be patient.. I went back to work a bit early last week and paid for it over the weekend.. now I've got this week off and I'm doing it right. Letting my body heal.. :hug: to you. I hope your neck and back will be back to normal very soon!

Byrdie, I'm glad the meds are kicking in and I hope you'll not have to deal with the side effects for too long..
and you, Neo, wishing you a speedy recovery!

Ready, how are you feeling today? How did the rest of your day go? Let us know how you are..

Kensho, did you get a good night of sleep? That really makes all the difference in the world, doesn't it?

I am not in any way thinking of drinking, in fact, quite the opposite. I am thinking of my life without drinking. I got a call from the surgeon yesterday telling me that they didn't find cancer but they are classifying the tumor as "borderline" and want to do another surgery to check surrounding areas for cell change and remove the other ovary. I was so sad yesterday.. just the thought of having another surgery so soon. One that will be more intrusive and which will take longer to recover from. On top of the thought of going into early menopause which up until today I have not in any way felt ready for. A very close friend of mine came by this morning and we talked it through and I am feeling more positive. I have to get my mind set, ready for moving into the next stage of life. I know there are advantages.. I see it in a lot (actually almost all) the older women that I know. I was just not expecting it for a couple/few more years. But it is what it is and I am very fortunate that I'm in a place where the doctors care and give good care.. and that I have a workplace which allows me to take the time to do this and a job to come back to (as far as I know! still have to work that out).
I feel deep in my bones that I am finished with drinking.

Hugs to you all..

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

X-post, Ready.. good to hear you're feeling so much better today! xx

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sorry you have to have another operation LC I'd be scared and sad too,waves to all and I hope everyone has a great AF Day

[actiongirl46]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, that is really tough. You are sounding good. Stick close!

Ready, I hope the sunshine feels good on your face today! I find I notice the simple joys so much more with a clear head. And there are many things to be thankful for . . . hang in there, both you and LC are going through so much right now.

:hug::hug::hug: to you both!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey LC! Sorry about your news. Better safe than sorry though, so keep looking forward to when you will be healed up and relieved!

My son was up with stomach flu all night - my stomach hurt as well but not too bad. Not a great night of sleep. But the world turns. My husband interviews tomorrow for a lateral move to an office he would MUCH prefer - in location and culture. He hasn't interviewed in quite a few years and he is having nearly debilitating anxiety. I'm supportive and trying to offer tea and essential oils - but I know his anxiety would be greatly improved if he drank less and ate better. I understand that people sometimes drink to soothe anxiety, but then the alcohol causes anxiety. It's not that he drinks every day - and the few days a week he drinks, it's usually 1-2. But when he lets it rip on the weekends, he gets wasted. I don't like it at all, and I know he would be happier not doing that. BUT that's for him to figure out. Its just hard when he comes to me and says, I'm SO anxious - and I say, well, drink less, eat better and take some time to breathe deeply each day - or get some professional help. And he looks at me like "Well, I don't want to do any of those things...".

I am proud of where I am now, and really, really happy that I took responsibility for my unhappiness and unhealthy actions. All I can do is be responsible for myself, so that is what I do. Hopefully he will get tired of feeling like shit.

Keep up the good work everyone. It pays off.

[marthadan]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone. Checking in after enjoying a sober birthday yesterday! Yay! :yay:
LC sorry about having to have another surgery. Hang in there! Will catch up on everyone's news. Bless. :happy2:

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, so sorry you got some not so great news. We are thinking of you and wishing you strength for whatever life brings. Menopause isnt all bad!! I used to be sidelined a couple days a month so was glad to get away from that part of it. Please stick close and keep us posted.
Had a better day yesterday than today, I now wonder what I was thinking going out of town! Im beat, will go to bed soon.
Stay strong, everyone! Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy belated birthday Marthadan

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Late check in tonight, times flies

LC, I'm sorry you have to deal with another surgery so soon but your health is so important & you deserve to have a long healthy life afterwards. Just take the one day at a time approach right now, OK? :hug:

Kensho, I had to deliberately 'disconnect' myself from my husband & his chronic negative thinking & behavior so I could save myself. After a few years of watching me live happy & healthy he decided to follow suit & made some changes of his own. Sometimes they just need someone's example to follow

Happy belated birthday Marthadan!

Byrdie, thinking of you as always :hug:

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

LC sorry about your surgery. I am glad that there was no cancer, and while the surgery will be a pain, you will heal. Good thoughts to you.

Happy Birthday, Marthadan! I hope you celebrated well.

Kensho - frustrating for sure. I long ago gave up any thoughts that I could control my husband's behavior...

I had a friend reach out to me because she is worried about her drinking. It felt so good to be here for her and to be able to share all of the wisdom I have gained here. It is also nice to have an in-person person I can talk to more regularly.

Happy SOBER Tuesday, nest.

I miss you G and J-Vo!

Pav

[mario]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters. Lovey sunny start to the morning here, I very busy at moment, but all is good in the hood,

Just a thought,
nobody entirely escapes temptation, You must expect it & be ready for it when it comes, none of us is entirely safe, You must keep up your defences up 7 do what your doing that is getting you this far, The first step in dealing with temptation is to see it as clearly temptation & not harbour it in your mind, Dissociate yourself from it, put it out of your mind as soon as it appears, work your tools ,Do not think of any excuses or use any problems/excuses to turn to it, This addiction is a cunning one and we all need to be aware of it.

Have a nice day folks.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!
Happy belated birthday Marthadan!! Sounds like you had a nice one..:happy2:

Thank you all for the good wishes. I'm focussing now on nutrition and meditation/positive thinking.. to get myself as strong and ready as possible the next 3 weeks. The girls at work are so supportive and I'll have a full 4 weeks to recover.. I hope! it doesn't take longer than that, but let's see..
It's been strange getting used to the new living situation.. I'm in a flat I lived in for several years with my ex husband and the girls when they were very young. I moved out 10 years ago and they continued living here part time with him.. I'd come and visit for a coffee or to drop things off and spent easter, christmas, etc with them. Now he's in another place, the girls still have their old rooms here and I've moved in.. still not completely, but it's almost cozy. Back in the old hood, above the restaurant we used to have. Talk about deja vu!
Living alone with the girls is really nice. peaceful.. I didn't realize how much I was affected by the destructive relationship I was in. I was so afraid to leave and be on my own and thought that I could "make it work". And in hindsight..? Who knows? should have could have.. Now it's important for me to focus on the present.. and make light, tentative plans for the future.. to dream a bit, open my mind and horizons.

Kensho, I can imagine how frustrating that is! I haven't had that with drinking and a partner, but with nutrition.. your stomach might feel better if you didn't eat so much white bread and fried pork! ha.. actually, as Lav said, his eating habits did change for the better with my example..with time!!.. and it sounds like your husband might be following in your footsteps in the not so far future. It sounds like it is affecting him in a negative way. I am so proud of you, Kensho.. I do remember several months back when you said, "this is it!" And you're doing it and helping all of us along the way..

Pav, that's great that your friend could reach out to you about her drinking..and that you were able to help her. You are another very inspiring example of how life can be once alcohol is out of the picture.
I also miss J-vo and Gman!

Big fat hugs to all of you!

[Neo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day 18 for me. Dropped a tab of forte off dose (why do people spell does like this lol) as making me too tired . Get 25mg instead of 30mg out of Ibuprofen . Saving to have before sleep but been sleeping very well on it. Will have heaps of forte left over after 7 day course and have decided to quit the Forte as prescribed unless still painful. Overall, pretty happy about not being too painful , just sore in area.

Haven't been interested at all in beer or smokes . Had arguement with sister as she doesn't bring any money in and doesn't want to work. Have struggled with this last few years and want to get ahead. She wanted to stay at motel to get away and said "What with?" so now round at my aunties telling her what a loser I am lol .Normally after an arguement ,I'd have a beer but not this time round . This is an underlying problem I do not know how to solve. I'm getting a good solicitor to make sure mums will is right because if I've invested in something with a unit trust, I don't want to deal with a family member who only cares about being right in a childish way. I'd rather be rich than right