Re: Newbies Nest
Wags,
Just catching up after a stretch away and back read about your accident. Along with everyone else, am happy that you and the pup survived- sorry for what you are going through. I can relate to your experience having been in an accident last June. I replay it in my mind - everything was fine one minute- no imminent danger anywhere in site, then in a blip I felt like I got hot by a bomb. The other car was traveling so fast that I never saw it. His speed (65mph) + my speed (25 mph) calculates to the 2 cars approaching each other at a combined speed of 95mph or 140 feet per second. On a pin straight road with no other cars behind or in front I’m not sure if I saw him in the distance and not being able to gage his speed simply didn’t register his car moving at me as a threat, or if I simply didn’t see him at all. In the moments after my car came to a stop and I crawled out of it, I also remember thinking, “I wonder how serious this accident is? Did I cause it?” I never saw the other car at the scene- but the looks on the faces of the people that began to gather gave me good reason to think it was pretty serious, and they seemed far more worried about the other driver. “He doesn’t look very good at all.” I wondered how old he was, if he’d fallen asleep, had a seizure or heart attack. He’s a young man they said. “You’re very lucky to be alive.” He turned out to be a junior in high school - having turned 17, and gotten his driver’s license two weeks before. Strapped to the gurney with the head restraint I saw 2 helicopters hover over the accident site and wondered if one was for me. When they loaded me into the emergency transport, I asked if it was an ambulance or a helicopter. It was an ambulance.
That night while I was in ICU, I learned that they had to cut the entire top of his car off to get him out. That he was medevac’d out and had died during surgery. As for me, I broke more than a handful of bones, and have other injuries too- torn ligaments, bulging ruptured discs – unrelenting pain in some spots, unpredictable pain in others. Just yesterday had surgery on my shoulder and it’s likely that there will be others. On a daily basis I am consumed with different emotions relating to the accident; Survivors guilt, despair for the family, anger for being marginalized, on more than one occasion I have felt a strong undercurrent of contempt from my treating doctors- as thought I caused the accident, stole a young life. The boy was a new driver, traveling nearly 3x the speed limit, either texting or talking on the phone and his me head on in my lane. There has never been a shred of doubt as to who caused the accident, by witnesses, the police, even his parents I am told. But I know the circumstances could easily have been different (drunk or sober).
I hope you stay connected to the Nest and lean on friends to work through the stress and residual thoughts stemming from the accident. I never realized that PTSD was something that could happen in response to things like car accidents or anything personally traumatizing. When I did some research about it, I realized it can, and felt relieved to see that what I was feeling had a name. It’s very frustrating not to have the answers to the questions, and the knowledge that you probably never will. The passage of time will be helpful. Most importantly, 226 days IS solid and you should be proud and protective. At more than 3 years sober when I reflect on quitting I am freaked out by how hard it was to kick the habit- and not just the addiction piece. Drinking is so prevalent in society and glamorized in many of the most popular tv shows and movies. You have to look harder to find role models depicting lives lived without the crutch of alcohol.
Thank you for sharing your experience, even though it’s a tough one. It’s the glue that holds us together as a group with a common goal. To talk about what happened, and hear how others coped without resorting to getting blotto- it’s empowering. Keep up the good work. Things will get better, and remember that it’s rare to have 2 bad days in a row. Hugs, Jane
Wags,
Just catching up after a stretch away and back read about your accident. Along with everyone else, am happy that you and the pup survived- sorry for what you are going through. I can relate to your experience having been in an accident last June. I replay it in my mind - everything was fine one minute- no imminent danger anywhere in site, then in a blip I felt like I got hot by a bomb. The other car was traveling so fast that I never saw it. His speed (65mph) + my speed (25 mph) calculates to the 2 cars approaching each other at a combined speed of 95mph or 140 feet per second. On a pin straight road with no other cars behind or in front I’m not sure if I saw him in the distance and not being able to gage his speed simply didn’t register his car moving at me as a threat, or if I simply didn’t see him at all. In the moments after my car came to a stop and I crawled out of it, I also remember thinking, “I wonder how serious this accident is? Did I cause it?” I never saw the other car at the scene- but the looks on the faces of the people that began to gather gave me good reason to think it was pretty serious, and they seemed far more worried about the other driver. “He doesn’t look very good at all.” I wondered how old he was, if he’d fallen asleep, had a seizure or heart attack. He’s a young man they said. “You’re very lucky to be alive.” He turned out to be a junior in high school - having turned 17, and gotten his driver’s license two weeks before. Strapped to the gurney with the head restraint I saw 2 helicopters hover over the accident site and wondered if one was for me. When they loaded me into the emergency transport, I asked if it was an ambulance or a helicopter. It was an ambulance.
That night while I was in ICU, I learned that they had to cut the entire top of his car off to get him out. That he was medevac’d out and had died during surgery. As for me, I broke more than a handful of bones, and have other injuries too- torn ligaments, bulging ruptured discs – unrelenting pain in some spots, unpredictable pain in others. Just yesterday had surgery on my shoulder and it’s likely that there will be others. On a daily basis I am consumed with different emotions relating to the accident; Survivors guilt, despair for the family, anger for being marginalized, on more than one occasion I have felt a strong undercurrent of contempt from my treating doctors- as thought I caused the accident, stole a young life. The boy was a new driver, traveling nearly 3x the speed limit, either texting or talking on the phone and his me head on in my lane. There has never been a shred of doubt as to who caused the accident, by witnesses, the police, even his parents I am told. But I know the circumstances could easily have been different (drunk or sober).
I hope you stay connected to the Nest and lean on friends to work through the stress and residual thoughts stemming from the accident. I never realized that PTSD was something that could happen in response to things like car accidents or anything personally traumatizing. When I did some research about it, I realized it can, and felt relieved to see that what I was feeling had a name. It’s very frustrating not to have the answers to the questions, and the knowledge that you probably never will. The passage of time will be helpful. Most importantly, 226 days IS solid and you should be proud and protective. At more than 3 years sober when I reflect on quitting I am freaked out by how hard it was to kick the habit- and not just the addiction piece. Drinking is so prevalent in society and glamorized in many of the most popular tv shows and movies. You have to look harder to find role models depicting lives lived without the crutch of alcohol.
Thank you for sharing your experience, even though it’s a tough one. It’s the glue that holds us together as a group with a common goal. To talk about what happened, and hear how others coped without resorting to getting blotto- it’s empowering. Keep up the good work. Things will get better, and remember that it’s rare to have 2 bad days in a row. Hugs, Jane
Originally posted by wagmor
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