Newbies Nest

[ADP]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Whew!!!!! Another weekend over and have had quite a struggle. Weekends are always very stressful here as this is the time that the neighbours inflict their bad manners on us by turning up to their holiday home and making as much noise as possible. Littering everything and using their car horns for no reason. Even calling the police several times and asking them for a little respect goes no where, so, today was the same. (Oh to get back to Blighty..............) So the quit was put to the test. What happened was a little surprising; apart from my AL brain trying to reason a drink I actually got angry that someone else could cause this stress. I used the anger against having just that one drink to calm down and so I am here. Nearly 58 days in and ready for sleep......first to read and be inspired for tomorrow.
Got the doctors appointment tomorrow and hoping to be signed off as feeling basically very well, (no shakes, temperatures or racing heart-rate).

Byrdie, Sooo sorry to hear you have lost a good friend. People that we spend time with are always missed when they go and we find a space that wasn't there before. I hope you are continuing with the walking though. After the docs tomorrow I hope to be allowed back into my gym, so will be trying to catch you up in the fitness stakes....lol!! Whatever you do, stay close, your wisdom here, for me, is an inspiration and is helping me to get and stay sober! You are really valued.

Pan, welcome to MWO and all the brave people who have stopped fooling ourselves that we are 'social' drinkers. Read and use ANYTHING here that keeps you AL free! Protect those 4/5 days and with each day you will be rewarded with better health, clearer thinking and better self esteme. We have all done those first few days, some of us several times, but it will be worth it to push through.

So to sleep for me!

......btw.......I think that having stopped drinking I am getting addicted to crisps!!! AAUUGGGHHHHHH!!! Seems to not fit the diet my doctor gave me, but still better than AL :harhar::harhar:

Where's my hot chocolate and the cheese and onion??

Sleep well all,
Axx

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Well life certainly can change in a minute or an hour. The other half and I went to visit his mum as we do on a Sunday. A beautiful kind lady at 89. we arrived and found she had died in her arm chair. Yesterday was just awful and sad and a total shock. Death has a way of changing us all in a moment and today all i can do is be here for him. At no time did i wish i drank, i offered him a beer and its funny as i hate al so much but society sees al as a way to calm us down in stressful situations. He is so not a drinker but did have 1/2 a glass. Me, well i would have had all that was offered in my drinking career but now all i can do is offer quiet support and a shoulder to lean on.

Today is hard and there will be more to follow i am sure but i do know with complete certainty that even this sad and stressful time will not entice me to drink.

Take care x

[bran new day]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello All , Three weeks done .I don't write here much , just part of being an introvert I suppose . The sharing of struggles brings a bit of clarity to the problems we share , and i read through the nest most days .
Being an introvert , Al granted me acceptance by those around me . At least now i'm old enough to claim health issues as a reason for not drinking . But I find it annoying to have to justify my decision to abstain all the time . No-one say's to a reformed smoker ," just have one with me , it won't hurt " . In my world if I have to be a miss-fit then so be it , it's easier than being a sneaky drunk . I've proved to myself too many times that they're right one drink won't hurt, but the 100 a week that follow is the problem .
May serenity find you all ,
BND

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Sunday evening Nesters,

Byrdie, sorry you had to put with that nag
Of course you were able to handle yourself in a touchy situation - you learned from the best, (just kidding). Stay true to yourself always.

Ava, goodness what a shock that must have been for the two of you, so sorry :hug:
We all know AL cannot bring back someone we've lost. I am grateful you are solid in your quit as well.

BND, great job on your 3 AF weeks! Keep going

Well, next Sunday is March 26 & my 8 years AF - wow! Seems like a long, long time now but I am still staying true to the promise I made to myself back then - not one drop ever! I am grateful I pushed myself when I did, it wasn't a moment too soon. So hang in there everyone & watch those days & weeks turn into months & years

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[tonyniceday]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wow ... that was some read back ...

Byrdie, when I think through that scenario, if it weren't for the meds I think I would have found that a very difficult time to say no to that wine.... You wished everyone an easy day and your signature line is "all you gotta do is get through this day"... please don't think this is in any way patronising, because it's certainly not meant that way but even with your huge number of days behind you, and your acquired hatred of Al... that was amazing to get through that scenario...I'm impressed :goodjob:

Ava, what a shock, especially to have been the ones to have found the dear lady, but when I read that, for the lady herself, at 89, to have just fallen asleep in your armchair and go so peacefully, must bring some comfort in that there was nothing dramatic, and it was better than many alternative passings...again, hope I'm not saying the wrong thing.

Tony :hug:

[Nursie]

Re: Newbies Nest

A late check in from me!

Lost, yes you can borrow me! I would LOVE to come to Ireland.
Byrdie- thank heavens for always having that plan! We should resurrect that thread somehow and share with the newer folks.

I had a great day with my family today. We went to church, cooked a bunch, and I did some shopping for spring for my son. He needed new baseball cleats and some spring clothes. It's so funny how I feel like a proper mom now. Every day I'm getting better. And my dear boy? He doesn't remember my drinking. At least he says he doesn't. He knows I used to drink but he doesn't have any poor memories that he has mentioned.

I am humble and grateful today.

[PanhandleKim]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day five almost done without alcohol - that old foe that for so long I thought was my best friend.

Byrdie - I know you've had a stressful weekend. Under the same circumstances I'm not sure could have bowed out of the "wine" situation so gracefully. Hoping and praying for a better week for you.

Lav - congratulations on 8 years. I can't imagine. However, your success inspires me that it is possible.

Le - thank you for the encouraging words and ideas for new AF drinks - I find that I'm drinking a lot of tea right now and seems to help.

BND- 3 weeks is amazing...I so understand about being an introvert. I truly think that's what my alcohol problems were centered around at the beginning. However, I have found that posting here the last five days has been very, very helpful to me.

Goodnight to all-
Pan

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pan - Welcome to the nest and great job on stringing your days together. Keep posting and visiting here - it's a great source of support!

Ava - Wow, such a shock that must have been to find your other half's mom like that. As a few others have said, perhaps there's a little comfort in knowing that she didn't appear to suffer but just fell asleep and went peacefully. Still, the passing of a loved one is never easy. Hugs to you :hug: Thanks for the update on G-man as well. I've been wondering where he went, hoping all was ok in G-land. Good to know he's ok.

Byrdie - I'm so sorry to hear about your friend as well. Yes, death can help remind us of how precious life truly is, and how we should not waste a single day more to al. The encounter with the friend's friend sounds dreadful - so glad you had your plan in place and ready to go. I'd hate to hear you slipped for any reason, but especially if you drank with someone it sounds like you are not fond of (too mild? ) Hugs to you too - I hope you find comfort in your memories of walks and talks with your friend.

In Wag-land things are going along ok, all things considered. Still recovering and rehabbing from car accident, but slowly making progress. Not tempted to drink at all - so happy about that part! Going to take a little time off in a few weeks to help tend to a friend after she has surgery. We spoke on facetime tonight and she mentioned that she's ready to drink some beer together. There will be 3 or 4 of us together, so I won't feel quite the attention on me specifically. But I'm NOT going to drink. Polishing off my plan right now and making sure it's ready to unfold. The biggest piece of my plan is to tell her in advance that I won't be drinking - that way I won't fold on the spot, and it won't feel as awkward as it potentially could if I wait and "announce" it once I get there. One friend who will be with us already knows I'm not drinking, and I'll ask her to be my extra support if necessary. It should all be ok, I just don't want to waltz in and then succumb to temptation once I'm in the moment.

Good day and night all.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - Forgot to ask, what kind of pup do you have? I obviously have a soft spot for dogs myself, given my profile name and pic. We have a sweet little Jack Russell Mix that looks very much like the one in my pic. This isn't her, but it pretty much could be her brother or sister.

[mario]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters, a lovely sunny morning here...

Ava what a shock for you, hope you are ok & get through this sad time alright.

Byrdie, fair play to you for having the patience & of course the strength within to keep saying no.

LS, Sometimes we folks swap our addictions, We stop drinking but take Valium/solphidine etc to help us get through the rough parts,& before you know it your taking the meds for the buzz & its effects in the mind then its intention, A lot of folks in CA who were cocaine addicts started of with alcohol supplemented by cocaine & some then stopped drinking & kept on the cocaine...

Well done on your 3 weeks BND keep at it


Have a good day folks, as best you can in all the different circumstance's we find ourselves in.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
Tony, funny you should mention the pressure from that hag lady....I DID feel pressure to join her, more than I would have thought. She also caught me by surprise. As I say, I had ALL of the triggers (HALT) that night and she was pushing ALL my buttons. I just can't emphasize the importance of having my good excuse at the ready. I use the same one every time (I like to be consistant). One time, I used the medication excuse at another neighbor's house. Well the next time we all got together, she remembered that and started pushing drinks at me.....I had to use a new one (my colon one always works). That taught me a lesson, get your story together and stick with it! BAHAHAHA.

Ava just eluded to this, and I want to underscore it. It is HARD to lose a loved one and AL was a coping mechanism for me for a long, LONG time. The real value here in the nest is to learn NEW coping mechanisms....coping with being shy, coping with loss, coping with life's challenges, coping with its successes! Learning to cope is key. Once I took the option of AL off the table, I had no choice but to find another way. You can't imagine how grateful I am that the FIRST reaction was NOT to drink myself to oblivion. This is a gift that comes with time and distance from AL. And what a gift it is. I am so grateful that I stuck out the hard parts, because now it is just a matter of maintaining....and that's 1000 times easier than quitting again.

Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF. That's what I'm doing. Thank you all for the kind words of support and freindship. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nest Residents. Checking in on a sunny, hot Monday morning. We had a looooooong Saturday night our old favorite margarita place (I like the food and roof top deck, so it is still a good place), but it turns out that on the first 80 degree day, everyone else wants to be on the roof top deck too. After many attempts to convince my husband that we needed to get there EARLY, we still got there and had a 2 hour wait. This is fine if you proceed to drink 4 drinks and numb out time, but for me & the kids, it was a long time. That familiar “excitement” hung in the air, followed with a bit of disappointment that I would not be partaking - but it didn’t last long. I don’t like to be drunk anymore, and every time I watch my husband do it (weekends), I feel thankful that it is not my thing any more. He wakes up looking parched, poisoned and slow - I have to turn the other direction. What is he drinking to avoid? Well, I did it for 15+ years - so what I should do is concentrate on myself. He can live his own life. It’s just that when you figure something out, you want to share it with those you love. However, I remember that I was not one bit receptive to the idea of not drinking, so better just leave it alone. He isn’t really causing problems to anyone but himself.

I like how you put it—drink, recover; drink, crisis, recover, drink, drink, drink… ugh. To hell with that.

No kidding Neva - well said. To hell with that. It’s not worth it!!!

......btw.......I think that having stopped drinking I am getting addicted to crisps!!! AAUUGGGHHHHHH!!!

As in potato chips? They are my absolute favorite indulgence - OMG do I eat chips! We have to have a treat of some kind - that’s not too bad of one, unless you eat a bag a day!

But I find it annoying to have to justify my decision to abstain all the time .

BND, I struggled with this a lot too. Eventually, as I told the people I was closest to, and hung out with most, it became a non-issue because they all knew. As for the other situations, it has become a thing of pride for me. I don’t mind at all saying “No thanks, I don’t drink.” Some people just move on, some look at me funny, and then end up asking why. Sometimes I’m in the mood to answer them honestly, sometimes I just am quick - but either way, I am in control of my life and happier and that is all they really need to know. It will get easier.

Happy first day of Spring here in the states! Does that mean you have Autumn Ava?

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Sorry I have been MIA - a lot going on in Pav's world these last couple of weeks, much of it good, some of it bad, all of it stressful. I am thankful to say that not once did I want a drink. It is such a relief to have my brain go to "wow, I need a walk," or "wow, I could use a hug," or "some potato chips would be good about now." I have so much gratitude about that. Not that I don't have thoughts, but no real cravings...

Ava - so sorry to you and your boyfriend. That must have been a shock.

Byrdie - THE PLAN! I am dusting mine off. Sorry about your friend, sorry about the hag, and glad you managed it all anyway.

Back to work. Hope all is well to those I didn't read back to hear what is going on.

xo
Pav

[LilBit]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie, I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. It's such a gift to have someone like that in your life for however long they can stay. And good going on sticking with your plan in answer to the pushy hag. That's a very vulnerable moment that you navigated like a pro, and it underscores the importance of having that answer ready! If she'd pushed it, she would have deserved the detailed account of colitis symptoms that I'm sure you could have served up.

Ava, gosh, I'm sorry to hear your sad news, too. I admire how you stayed strong for your hubby and for yourself, too.

Lav, approaching 8 years -- wowzers! That is darned impressive, right there. And your steady, calming presence in the Nest has helped so many people, myself included. Congrats to you, our dear nest mother.

Welcome, Pan. Raspberry tea sounds lovely and you're getting close to that one-week mark. Woot!

Pav, it's always good to see your ruby red slippers. Sorry you've been under stress lately but it's good to see you dealing with it so honestly and well.

As for me, I'm hanging in there. Next month will be year #2 of surviving breast cancer and so far, so good. Grateful for every day!

One of my current writing projects is for a dental insurance company. They gave me an interesting statistic this morning: March 18 is one of the busiest days of the year for dentists. Why? Because of lost teeth resulting from drunken brawls and other stupid things on St. Patrick's Day. I'm so glad we're free from that!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lil Bit, congrats on your two years cancer free! Im so happy for you! Life is so precisous, its just great to see you living it to the fullest! Shocking tidbit about the teeth and St Patricks Day, yikes!
Got out today and did my walk for the first time without my walking partner. It was harder than I thought it was going to be. Im glad it is now behind me. As I say about getting sober, all the FIRSTS are tough but after you face them, they get easier.
Pav, sorry about your stress....I hope that passes sooner than later.
Ava, thinking of you and hoping you are finding strength, you have a tough week ahead.
Lav, you sure are coming up on 8 years, just amazing! My s-hero!
Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie