Newbies Nest

[Readynow79]

Re: Newbies Nest

I didn't want to return here until I had actually strung some decent days together again. So here I am on Day 8 and feeling great! Well, actually, I am feeling totally exhausted but otherwise great! February was so good for me AF, I lost my way in March, and April was a total disaster - each new 'bottom' seemed worse than the last but here I am, and determined to get it this time. I really don't want to go back to AA meetings as I am so socially awkward that it just serves as a reminder that I find it hard to mix and makes me generally depressed, plus I just cannot fully subscribe to the mentality, but I will go along again if I feel myself wavering. To continue the coffee conversation of earlier - I don't do any type of caffeine (probably why I am always so tired) so that isn't a problem, but for now I know I am using sugar too much but whatever it takes. Generally I am just trying to keep my belly full and my hands busy. Sleep was hard for the first couple of days, now it seems to be settling. So anyway, hello again to all, and I will be checking back in here regularly. x

[Neo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day 5 here. A bit tired but ok.

Hey ready, Ditch the sugar as its a glucose crash waiting to happen. L - glut works well as a supp, calms the stomach and takes edge of cravings .A good protein shake is filling and better than all the processed crap.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Lav, i am counting the hours till that airport drive. Im dragging all the positives i can out of me atm but i will be a happy girl tomorrow.

Welcome back Ready. Eat what you want if it stops you drinking. Everything settles down with time. My sleep was crap for months but i always figured i put the crap in my body so i had to give it time to heal. Be gentle on yourself and dont put any pressure on yourself either. Appreciate just not drinking.

I was back at work today and not sure if it was better than being at home or not! the hour and 3/4 drive home was painful and then i took mum to the drs as she kept telling me she was fine when she wasnt so i am exhausted. Up at 5am to take mum to the airport tomorrow and then work and my course. All of which i would have NOT done if i had been drinking. Now i just know i will be exhausted and grumpy but thats okay. Then its going to be ME time, cant wait for that one.

Take care x

[ssd858]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=23745]Readynow79[/MENTION] - congrats on the 8 days! Those are really tough to get through. Keep going!
[MENTION=22857]Neo[/MENTION] - good on 5!
[MENTION=6487]ava[/MENTION] - 1 more day :happy2:

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nesters!
Welcome back, Ready! Great going on the 8 days! Keep it going!!

SSD, alI I can say is to try to put everything into perspective on this whole quit thing. At this stage of the game, I might be talked in to going to a wine country event, but it would take some talking. I look at it like I am a morbidly obese person trying to lose weight and being invited to an all-you-can-eat sundae bar. That just isnt some place I need to go, after all I am an alcoholic, and they are pushing my drug of choice. That's #1, #2 is that there might have been people sitting at those tables being jealous of your ability to walk. There were likely people sitting there just as bad an alcoholic as we are that are struggling to have 1 day sober. So while we look over and long for the carefree days of having just a glass here or there, it's not all sunshine and roses for the ones sitting there.....it's just that they are sitting there drinking the thing we really want the WAY we wish we could do it. Lastly, I try to think that they are sitting there enjoying the beauty of their surrondings and the people they are with, NOT what's in their glass. They could have been sitting there with applie juice in their glasses, now wouldn't I feel ridiculous to have been jealous of that. The bottom line is that because we can't have something, makes us romaticize it....I don't let those thoughts get legs, I quickly turn my head to that morning when my hubs walked out and the look in his disppointed eyes all because of AL. Whatever my mind WANTS to see about AL, I grab it by the short hairs and turn it around to MY reality. We all have so many gifts, we tend to look at what we don't have, but if we take a good inventory of ourselves, we actually have life much better than most!
I hope this doesn't sound preachy, but I blast those thoughts out, just like Lav taught me to, and so far, so good. Hope everyone has a peaceful day. Byrdie

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning!
Ava, it will be good to have some ME time. I have lots of that these days with my son in Auckland,NZ, daughter in British Columbia in Uni and Hubby up North working in the oil sands. I see my mom everyday but she doesn't live with me so it is pretty sweet.
Byrdie, that is exactly right, we tend to look at what we don't have instead of looking at our gifts. Thanks for the reminder. I haven't been working since January and have trying to stay positive. Its a tough economy here right now.

Way to go Ready! Tomorrow is day 9.

Kim, nice to see your post. Thats a tough one hanging out with Alkie relatives but it sounds like you have a good handle on it.

SO happy to wake up Un Hung on Mon

Have a good one- don't drink today!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - sorry to hear that the time with your mom has been so challenging, but it sounds like you're handling it like a champ and soon you'll have the "me time" you so richly deserve. great job focusing on the positives and recognizing all that you're doing that you would NOT have been able to manage while drinking. Victories all the way around I'd say!

Ready - Glad to see you back and congrats on getting that first week under your belt. I agree with others re eating whatever gets you through the days AF right now. My go-to has been ice cream, which kinda surprises me because I wasn't much of an ice cream eater before. The suggestion of L-glutamine is excellent - it really does help curb the cravings for sugar or al, and it doesn't seem to bring any other effects along with it. Under the tongue is a particularly effective way to take it, although it doesn't taste awesome. Find a good safe brand that you can trust, and give it a try if you haven't already. And keep up the good work! You're climbing back up from those bottom you mentioned from April, and soon you'll be back on steady footing and your mind/body will start to feel much better. Tuck yourself into the nest nice and snug

Kim - congrats on making it through a weekend where al was flowing freely. I sometimes have similar questions for myself about how I ended up an alcoholic. In my case, there is no obvious path that makes sense. My parents never drank, ever, not even wine or champagne at celebrations. In fact, al was not a big part of extended family events throughout most of my childhood. Lots of drinkers now amongst my cousins etc, but generally not a part of my upbringing. I personally had my first drink when I was 13, started drinking regularly around 15 or 16, and probably was demonstrating I had a problem by the time I was 18. My teenage/high school culture was centered almost entirely around parties and underage drinking and I was eager to show I could keep up. As an adult, I have NEVER been one to just have a beer or a glass of wine with a meal - I've never seen any point in that and frankly am not tempted by that at all now. For me, drinking has ALWAYS been a social lubricant, an escape, a smoothing of rough edges I didn't want to feel. But where that came from I'm not sure. Would love to know!

[ssd858]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you [MENTION=11704]Byrdlady[/MENTION] - the AV can come out of nowhere and I do go through the tape in my mind. The place I landed before this quit was not fun. The nightly chardonnay black out did not in any way feel soothing. I also tell myself that I know I won't even like the taste of it! It took me until 30 ish to be able to develop the taste for al. I am certain that I would much prefer og and tonic to my former choice of chardonnay. I also am determined to make it to 100 days. Right at 55 here and I want to preserve my health for what remains of my time here. When my brain comes back on track I am going to be doing a happy dance!

Happy Monday to all.

[Soft Focus]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy belated other-side-of-the-Atlantic mother's day to all the nest mums here

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ok, i'll do a happy dance too. I can equate it with ducking and weaving in the ring, or in life. Moving them hips. Putting some ocean in the motion....oh yeah. Not embarrassing for a fella at all. :happy2:

Good luck today Ava! Hope things go smoothly all round.

Have a bewdy out there friends.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Monday evening Nesters,

Facebook just reminded me of a quote I posted 4 years ago today:

"The greatest weapon against stress
is our ability to choose one thought over another"

William James

That still holds true for me today & every day. We don't need to be a victim of our thoughts. When you find you are having a thought you don't like, shove it out of your mind & move on

Welcome back Ready, congrats on you 8 AF days!!

Ava, bless you & your Momma, ha ha.

Kim, your daughter is graduating from high school I guess?
Since she is not of legal age for drinking & neither are her friends I would make the alcohol at the party a very limited thing. I realize the adults expect to drink at parties but I would keep it minimal. I had a weird situation one year where my daughter was graduating from college & my son was graduating from high school at the same time. So we decided to throw a combined party (to preserve our sanity). We set up a 'beer tent' for the college kids, made them drop their car keys in a bucket & assessed them before we returned their keys to them. The high school kids at the party were not allowed in the tent at all - it worked just fine. The relatives got the idea that we weren't messing around so no one got messy!!!! Just an idea for you

The weather was perfect today, I wish it would stay like this all summer. I am not a fan of heat & humidity, neither are my chickens!!!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[PanhandleKim]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kim, your daughter is graduating from high school I guess?
Since she is not of legal age for drinking & neither are her friends I would make the alcohol at the party a very limited thing. I realize the adults expect to drink at parties but I would keep it minimal. I had a weird situation one year where my daughter was graduating from college & my son was graduating from high school at the same time. So we decided to throw a combined party (to preserve our sanity). We set up a 'beer tent' for the college kids, made them drop their car keys in a bucket & assessed them before we returned their keys to them. The high school kids at the party were not allowed in the tent at all - it worked just fine. The relatives got the idea that we weren't messing around so no one got messy!!!! Just an idea for you

Lav- this particular party will be family only which will be nice in regard to not having to worry about the underage drinking. However, I still don't want a bunch of adults drinking too much at an event that is in her honor. I feel like that's been the case too many times in the past. I spent some time fixing up an area on my back patio tonight. After reading your suggestion, I think I might just designate that as the "drinking patio" for the relatives who will be doing so. The weather should be warm so it shouldn't be a problem. I just want to try and abstain, myself. Today is four weeks AF for me and I'd like to keep that streak alive... You always have great advice and guidance, Lav. Thank you for sharing...

[Readynow79]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning from a surprisingly sunny UK. Day 9 and feeling fine! Again, a bit of a lie. I felt really pissed off at my sister last night and a fleeting thought of wine came to mind. Thankfully, I knew it wasn't worth it. I also had a hospital appointment yesterday afternoon for an ECG as my blood pressure was raised on my last check up re my anti depressants. At the hospital, I saw several pregnant women which made me sad - I had a miscarriage last year and the baby would have been due on Sunday just gone. Don't get me wrong - the father was a total waste of space, in and out of jail, on and off the streets and it was a total accident, but I had always wanted more children (I have a 9 year old) so I had just got used to the idea of somehow managing when I then lost it. So that was hard to be around yesterday. But hey ho, on I go. I am taking a good multi-vit, and a B-complex (I am B12 deficient at the best of times), and I have recently got some L-Glut capsules so am giving those a go too. I got a self-hypnosis CD to help give up AL but am yet to find a technology source in my stupid house that actually works to play it!
Ava - my mum moved in with me and my daughter for 2 years when she finally split from my dad!! That sure took some getting used to, especially as she is also a drinker (not to the same problematic degree as me though) so there was no way I could have stayed AF then, you must have the patience of a saint! But she is very supportive of my efforts and comes back to stay whenever I need her, and does most of my childcare for me as I work, she is truly a diamond. Anyway, time for breakfast, have a great day everyone.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning:

Kim - as Yoda would say "Do or do not. There is no try." Words matter, so saying you HOPE you don't drink means to me that you're not sure. What has been absolutely crucial in my staying sober was taking the choice off the table. Alcohol is not a beverage I can choose. The fact of the matter is that you are hosting a party where there will be alcohol served and you don't drink. What precautions will you take to ensure that is the case? I know for graduation parties around here I would be laughed out of town for the suggestion that the adults go without. In that case, I make a point of carrying my non-alcoholic beverage around and talking to the teenagers (frankly, sometimes a lot more fun), smug in my belief that I have evolved beyond those drinkers. Plan B (which I have utilized more than once) is to have an out. If the party is at your house, you can sneak away to a quiet room for some meditation or a quick read through a celebrity magazine - take yourself out of the situation. You could even come post here if you're feeling fragile. If the party is somewhere else, make sure you have your own car or a ride home. You're keeping vigilant in your quit. You'll be fine at those parties because you don't drink!

I am off to a conference - I do absolutely hate the "networking" parties where I have to make small talk with a bunch of people I barely know. It is always loud and I am always awkward. The beauty is that they are so big I just have to say hi to a few people and then I can sneak off. "I was there, I guess we missed each other. I talked to Bob..." The conference itself should be good, so I'll be fine.

Narilly - your situation sounds both lonely and blissfully quiet. Love the UN HUNG wake ups myself.

Ava - Bon voyage to your mom - glad you got through that ok. When my mom bugs me I try to make a mental note of how NOT to do that to my own kids as I age. I wonder if that is even possible? I do love her and she's a great woman, but she does seem to find every button I have.

Happy SOBER Tuesday.

Pav

[Jkm123]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello again, I'm back. I got tired of being sick and tired! I know y'all love the bubble hour so i thought i would recommend recovery elevator and sober cast. They are great! I'll be checking in here on the reg.