Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ready, TIME heals a lot of things, too. It took quite a while for me to earn my hubs' trust again.
Regret of the past and fear of the future are the twin thieves of today.
As long as we stay sober, nobody has a reason to drag it up again......it will just be part of your past, like big hair and bell bottoms. Hang in there! Byrdie

Right on Byrdy. Thank gawd the mullet and handlebar mo are still in fashion. Otherwise i'd be in trouble style wise.

[tonyniceday]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nest
Sorry I've been a bit absent over the last couple of weeks - it's been madness with work and family wedding etc.
[MENTION=23745]Readynow79[/MENTION] You asked if the feelings change as time goes on and I can only speak from my experience which is only a limited time compared to the "long-timers" on MWO. I think things have changed for me in the last 100 plus days. To start I dreaded the times when Mrs T was away for the weekend and I recognise them from previous quit attempts as real "triggers" which I have acted on in the past.

I am fortunate in that my work-life is really busy at this time of year and will be until mid to late October, but I've actually found that I have changed in relation to the time I have alone. Part of that is that there is so much to do, but that would not have previously stopped me inviting my ex-friend Mr Shiraz to join me when I was alone. Your post really made me think, because I've not actually noticed this happening, but it has. I now cherish the time alone because there are loads of things I can and need to do, business wise as well as around the house and in the garden etc. which I actually enjoy doing alone, not because I don't miss Mrs T when she's away - I most certainly do! But, I find I can get things done in my own time and enjoy my time alone, just as much as I enjoy the company when I'm not alone.

I think these things will change for you too BUT and this is an almighty huge BUT they will only change if you stay strong in your quit.

Just make sure you have loads of things to do - fill your time, download some books or box-sets on TV, go for a walk somewhere you wouldn't normally go and take in the scenery, pig out on Twirls and anything else that takes your fancy (don't worry now about how healthy or unhealthy the chocolate or whatever is, you can deal with that when you're stronger.

Please trust me when I say that even though I am still at a baby age in my quit, I can already see the massive changes it has brought about in my life and I just cannot stand the thought of going back to where I was.

The fear of returning to that life is also still very real, and I know I could finish up down that road again but all I can say is that my plan has been from the beginning, is now, and shall be for a long time ODAAT - one day at a time. Even Byrdie, with all the time she has behind her keeps her signature line as "All you gotta do, is get thru this day." - Think on that, come Saturday, and you'll be just fine - any thoughts of a wobble and come right back here and we'll put you right!!!!

Tony

[Marylou123]

Re: Newbies Nest

OMG Brydie that made me laugh out loud! However, I do still love me some Aqua Net on a good hair day or a bad weather day.

Hello fellow Nesters - it's great to see so many posters. ODAAT is the way to make it work. It's been a while since I've had a drink thought, but the other day I was sitting outside on an absolutely beautiful day and the idea of a gin and tonic flashed by. As quick as it came, I was able to push it out. No problem. My sober muscle was strong the other day, as it is today.

Ready - I'm not completely caught up so please excuse if I repeat what others have said. The trust will come back - time and your actions will take care of that, IMHO. The guilt you can take care of immediately and it's 100% in your control. Forgive yourself. Let it go and move forward. Guilt is a chain the keeps you from being the best you. You don't need to carry it anymore. I know it's not easy, but it's doable. Besides, you've got us MWO peeps from all over the world sending you love, support, forgiveness, friendship, advice, etc., etc., etc.

Have a great MAE all.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Marylou, great to see you

Ready, what the others have already said - 'fixing' everything takes time. Learning to forgive myself was a hard thing to do but it can be done. Focusing on today & how great it is that you chose to quit will get the happy thoughts going. Keep your thoughts positive & imagine your AF future!

Byrdie, big hair & bell bottoms, ha ha!!! So grateful that era ended

Still hot here in Lav-land & tomorrow will be day 3 so it's an official heat wave - in May!!!!! That's just crazy. My chickens need help staying cool so I have to run ice out to them & frozen treats. They appreciate my efforts, I think!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[TJAF]

Re: Newbies Nest

If the symptom remain or get worse make sure you see your GP Neo

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

and on the money side of things, that's a lot of cash saved. I had a friend who used to say, when some brought a very expensive bottle of wine or bourbon over, "That's a lot of money to spend on something you're going to piss out in 15 minutes" Pissed away indeed.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi,

Aaah, regret. Lav recommends a book called Radical Forgiveness - I haven't read it, but I still promote it, because I did a lot of work trying to forgive myself first. You deserve forgiveness. You may have some repair work to do with others - best done, as Cowboy points out, by proving the sobriety is here to stay. I found it helpful to read about the science of addiction to realize that I wasn't to blame for that - I was vulnerable to alcohol for a variety of reasons. My power now is to figure out how to do all I can to keep from having that first drink. You will do this!

Happy SOBER Friday, and definitely no tickets to Boozeville in sight. In fact, I have a ticket to my couch and catching up on some sleep I've missed this week.

Take good care of yourselves, and don't drink.
Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Howdy... checking in quickly. Trying to ignore the uncomfortable symptoms I keep having. They are annoying and there are so many things that can cause them. It occurred to me last night that our nervous systems can be damaged by heavy drinking, and that I may have caused some of this myself. A good reason to NOT drink ever again. I had the urge to drink last night because I'm at my wits end - then I imagined the further damage I might be doing if I did drink. SO, once again - alcohol is not a solution. It only makes things worse over time.

Day 288 for me.

Hope everyone has a strong and peaceful day.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning! Happy Friday everyone.

wow, some great posts here today.
Cowboy- so glad your relationship with your daughter is almost back to normal.
I have more to say but I have to go so I will ttyl!

xo

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Glad its Friday! Hope everyone has a safe night in the nest! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

I am happy for you Cowboy that your relationship is healing.

Kensho, i work in the neurology department of a hospital and see so many patients come in with a multitude of issues from drinking. I am just thankful that i come off unscathed except for some kidney issues. We cant change what we did to our bodies, i find now i just have to deal with the fall-out and look after myself as best i can. I do find that Dr Google is not my best friend. You have a big celebration coming up in under less than 100 days, look to the future and how much you have achieved sober.

I had a moment a night or so ago where i know the stress of the past month came crashing down on me like a lead balloon. The urge to drink was immense and scary. I was shaking and crying and just wanting a drink to feel f*cking normal. My mum, my work, my course, the man, being sick, the family gatherings all came crashing down around me. I have had no control or my sort of control over the past month and pleasing every man and his dog was hard. Mum had left wine in the fridge so that went down the drain in a nano-second. I could have gone out but i chatted to Roxy an old and dear MWO friend (time zones suck sometimes). It took me time to realise i have had feelings of inadequacy in things i could not control and the old issues of "im not good enough" came to the fore, mainly due to comments from my mother. Those feelings bought up visiting my ex best friend, thinking i could get back onto an even keel again. FFS the stupidity of those thoughts amazed me today but at the time i have never been so scared in a long time. I had lost my ability to be grateful during that month, it had been sucked out of me by events. Today i am so grateful for being strong enough to not drink, grateful my house is mine again, grateful the sun is shining today and so grateful i dont drink and time has given me the ability to "think" before i "do".

I do know it will take a few weeks for the "as normal as i can get" Ava comes back but in that time i am going to be nice to myself and keep on here and with my outside support. At the end of the day i am an alcoholic and only 3 1/2 years sober. Each and everyday I learn something new about this addiction, i will never be cured but i know i need to have all my artillery ready for when al wants to pay a visit.

Take care x

[ssd858]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION] - thank you for sharing this. Stress can wreak such havoc on us in this journey.
Self care is so important and as caregivers we tend to leave ourselves for last. At 3 1/2 years
strong for al to still tempt you is frightening. You deserve a week holiday with daily massages and
yummy treats! Take care:hug:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Great to see everyone!
I think our 3 day heat spell is coming to an end, grateful!

Ava, I am sorry you were feeling so pressured! Honestly, I have found it necessary to hide from certain friends & relatives because they do bring out the negativity in me. It's not OK for everyone & anyone to dump their crap on us at will. We really do have to be our own best friend & bodyguard!!! Keep your defense shields up & stay safe :hug:
I hope things settle down quickly for you now.

Kensho, take care of yourself as well. We know that AL is never the solution & never our friend!

Today happens to be my 8 year NF anniversary!
Honestly, that was harder for me to accomplish that giving up AL. I think it was because I smoked a lot longer than I drank & I really did consider the smokes my friends. That sounds pretty dumb now - don't you think?? Ha ha!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Neo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day 10 here and $500 saved or rather then spent on an ipad game (various packs). At least it kept me preoccupied and off nasties . Last few Days have given me time to think. I have been on all good foods & supps but I do get confusion, am jumpy at times ,irritable and can nearly feel this in the front of my head and have the clarity to know that this has come from AL & Cigs, In time it will clear but have been able to clearly feel some of the damage this is doing and ask myself if I want this to get worse. Im allowing 2 mths of good diet and time to heal . Organising and creating better habits. all habits good and bad are performed out of repetition

[ssd858]

Re: Newbies Nest


Congratulations Lav on 8 years!!
Such an amazing accomplishment!
Do something extra special this weekend to celebrate!