Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - congrats on 8 years!!!

Ava - sorry to hear you felt such pressure. You've had quite a month (or more?) with loads of stressors, and that can get to any of us. Sounds like more "ME" time, and especially self-care, is in order. You know how to do this! Thanks for sharing your experience here, and glad you came here to get some support as well. This is a huge part of what makes the nest work so well in my opinion. Hugs

Byrdie - so thankful that I didn't fall prey to the big hair sensation!

Pav - Radical Forgiveness is a great book!

Ready - great responses to you from so many folks, I don't really have much to add. I would reinforce that time will likely make a big difference, but it has to be time of consistently showing new behaviors. You're on your way toward that, so keep it going!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

LAV- 8 years! Congrats!

Neo, ssd, you are doing well, hang in there.

Ava, that was a great post. Sorry to hear you were under such pressure and So happy to hear you got through it. Whew. It sounds like everything came down at once. Take care of yourself- that book Pav and Wags are talking about 'Radical Forgiveness' sounds good. I think I should read it myself.

So glad to wake up Un Hung on a Saturday morning!
I got up at 8 with no hangover. Who would have thought? When I drank I was Always hungover on Saturday and Now I Am NOT!!! Yay!

Have a great Day everyone- don't drink today.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning.

Loving my UN HUNG coffee this morning, although I do wish I had the power to sleep in a bit.

Ava - what a scare. I am vigilant for times like those, and I am trying to keep in mind a plan for if and when it happens to me. I am glad you had someone to call and tools to use to stay sober. When you talked about pouring that wine down the sink I could almost smell it... Stay strong my friend, and take care of YOU for a while.

Lav - 8 years off the cigs! Congratulations. I have heard that for some that is harder than alcohol.

I have anxiety about a social situation I'm supposed to be in tonight. I know in my head that if I can get up the strength to go I will have a good time, but I am fighting the urge to stay home and be a hermit. I feel like being social is good for me, but it will be a loud, heavy drinking crowd and frankly I'm not sure I have the patience. I am worried a bit that my friends will stop calling if I keep missing the big parties, and I am feeling a bit low about it all. I have equal anxiety about missing the fun and going. Time for a house clean and some exercise. I'll figure it out.

Happy Saturday.
Pav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav, the older I get, the more I love just being at home and chilling out on the couch! Good luck if you choose to go.
Wags, congratulations on your 300+ days! Just an amazing accomplishmmet! Thank you for all you do to help others around here, we appreciate YOU!
Lav, 8 years NF is outstanding. What a tremendous sense of pride you must have! We are so grateful to have you as our nest mom. Much love to you.
Hope everyone has an easy day. Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi! Happy Saturday/Sunday.
Ava, thanks for your encouragement. Your month and discussion about it is a good example of how much negative people can cause damage. Good to avoid them as much as possible. I'm sorry your mom is one of these people; glad you made it through and had a cry and that you are feeling better. That f-it scenario is a hard one to deal with.

PAV, let us know how it goes tonight. I'd like to hear about it if you went, or if you stayed home. Neither decision is the wrong one.

I'm trying to understand where my positive attitude and resolve went. I felt so solid in my quit - strong, proud. I feel some waiver and I don't know why. I think about it and have this lingering "wish" to have some. I know this to be bull, and I watch others drink to excess and be asses and pay for it - yet my AL brain tempts me. Why?

Anyhow, we did a lot of work today. Had to lay some sod in our yard due to grubs - nasty little suckers. Also washed the dog, cleaned the dishes and kitchen, planted some flowers, and did a bunch of laundry. I'm looking to a strawberry ginger lemonade fizz (non-AL) at our favorite little comfort food place, which also happens to be a brewery. That drink though, it is something to look forward to. I can't figure out how much certain foods are affecting my symptoms, but I'm going to have a little of the "bad" stuff tonight because I am wanting something pleasureful - and it ain't going to be alcohol.

Happy evening to you all.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav, let us know what you decide. I am staying home tonight myself. I can't believe how much I enjoy just hangin out at home- Ditto Byrdie.

Kensho I think we go through ebbs and flows with our addiction. Some days we don't think about it and then other days you Want it BAD! It really helps me to come and post, keeps the AL feelings at bay. Maybe it is because we are saying over and over 'don't drink, don't drink'

Tomorrow night I am going to my best friend's for supper, her sister will be there and there will be wine. These are the people I first started drinking with and have drank with a zillion times. I am going to have to make sure I stay focused on not drinking. I will be posting here tomorrow for sure.

Have a great Saturday night. Stay sober!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Saturday evening Nesters

Ahhh, temps finally back to the 70's, nice
I'd much rather feel a touch chilly than baking like a potato, ha ha!

Neo, you are doing just great, be proud. I am a little concerned about your self-imposed time limit of two months until you heal. Healing happens slowly & a different rate for everyone. I know it took me almost a solid year before I really felt human again. That was probably due to my age & a whole lot of other emotional stuff going on too. Developing patience with ourselves & believing in the process helps immensely.

Pav, I hope your evening goes well, whatever you decide to do

Kensho, I hope your strawberry ginger lemonade fizz did the trick for you. Putting the headphones on & listening to some guided meditations helps me settle down every time.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

I have anxiety about a social situation I'm supposed to be in tonight. I know in my head that if I can get up the strength to go I will have a good time, but I am fighting the urge to stay home and be a hermit. I feel like being social is good for me, but it will be a loud, heavy drinking crowd and frankly I'm not sure I have the patience. I am worried a bit that my friends will stop calling if I keep missing the big parties, and I am feeling a bit low about it all. I have equal anxiety about missing the fun and going. Time for a house clean and some exercise. I'll figure it out.

Happy Saturday.
Pav

Hey Pav. Not sure if this event has passed by now, but if not, remember your exit plan? Drive there. Arrive late, and leave early. Simple eh? :-) Hope all's well either way.

Big waves to all.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nesters.
The last 24 hours have been a roller coaster of emotions. Yesterday, I learned my 43 year old niece (by marriage) has an aggressive form of breast cancer. They have a beautiful 4 year daughter and are waging all out war on beating this diagnosis. She will be having a double mastectomy May 30. She has a strong history of breast cancer in her family....Im really worried for them. What a long road she has ahead, all of my thoughts are with them as they tread theu this deep water.
Then my sister's daughter calls this morning and her BF has popped the question. She is on top of the world! Im so happy for her, a bright future ahead. Ah, to be 28 again and know what I know now!
This set me to thinking this morning about life.....just how precious it is....about the decisions we make and the impact of them. I would give just about anything if I could take away the last 20 years I drank (wasted on being wasted). I drank thru bad news, drank thru good news, I drank because I HAD to drink. If you are breaking loose from this addiction, no one here will tell you it is easy. I'd wager a fair sum, however, that they would all say it's worth it. No drink ever tasted as good as this freedom feels. Do not let the call of AL pull you back under the water. Fight like hell. Fight like my niece is about to do against cancer. Her life depends on it, but so do ours, its just a different disease.
I hope everyone has an easy day. Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nest!

Byrdie -

I am sorry to hear about your niece - how scary for her and your family. I am glad that she will have your support. And congratulations to your other niece. All of it boils down to this...

No drink ever tasted as good as this freedom feels.

What a relief to be able to face the ups and downs of real life with a clear head and real, true emotions. This is not easy but is SO worth it.

Kensho - I am sorry you're not feeling it at the moment. I definitely have had several periods of feeling like that - really? This is it? Never? All I can say is take it both forever but don't forget one day at a time. Stay sober TODAY. It seems less daunting sometimes. And I can also say that those periods get shorter and less intense. Read Byrdie's quote above...

I didn't get to the event, but I didn't exactly stay home either. We had dinner with good friends, and then I did another friend a favor by picking up something and taking it to her house. I got to sleep late still, and didn't have my alone time, but all is ok.

Happy SOBER Sunday,
Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

So sorry about your niece Byrdie thats my age and when I think of my wasted time it makes me sick!

[TJAF]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho, Kindling is a known problem with repeated attempts at quitting. It certainly a problem I experienced. Don't let it discourage you. I know many have an issue with talking to our Doctor but I wished I did. It would have explained much.

[Susie45]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - I am sorry to hear about your niece. I am a BC survivor so I know terrifying it all can be. She has a rough year ahead of her. I wish her all the best and hope she is spared something by getting a bilateral mastectomy. Maybe she won't need chemo or radiation. I had it all - and it all sucked but just took it one treatment at a time and one day at a time. Before I knew it, a year had passed and the worst of it was behind me.

[ssd858]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - your niece and family are in my prayers. I am certain she feels your love and support. :hug:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We were blessed with another beautiful coolish day! And the best part was getting to spend good time with my grandsons

Byrdie, I am sorry to hear about your niece. The one comforting thing is early diagnosis & better treatment these days, nothing like it used to be. A very good friend of mine opted for the bilateral mastectomies, no chemo or radiation & she is doing just wonderfully. I will keep you & your family in my thoughts :hug:
Congrats to your other newly engaged niece!

Pav, Kensho & everyone, trust me when I say it is perfectly OK to have low times, we are just human. For me the low times remind me that it's time to shake things up a little bit. Try a new hobby, read a new book, find something to spark your interest. I definitely do not miss AL so I know that's not what I am looking for at those times. Look for something that will feed your soul.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav