Newbies Nest

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

evening nesters

Well i am feeling the ole me coming back. Feeling better sickness wise and life is settling down. No worrying about others too much and returning to life as i knew it a month ago. I did receive some lovely flowers off the man which was a lovely thought. Thanks you all for the caring thoughts. I truly hope that that a*hole does not come around to tempt me for a long time and there are no al thoughts in my life now.

Happy 8 years NF lav, i am still trying to give them up and yes you are so right that it is so hard. I can only keep trying.

Its funny that you mentioned sniffing it Pav. I had that thought when i opened the bottle and i gave myself a right royal slap around. Why tempt fate, i have it in my head that i want to vomit when i smell al so if i changed that thought i can imagine the mind games that would have started. Happy to hear you changed your plans, we can only do what we feel is right.

How was your night out Nar? Its hard when you are around your old drinking buddies but i am sure you did fine.

Byrd i am so sorry to hear of your niece. Sending positive thoughts to your family.

Well i am off to do some homework and spend quality time with my fur babies. Hoping by wednesday i will feel well enough to start back at the gym as i have a wedding to go to in July with the other half (his family). I have not really met them except at his mums funeral so i do soooooooo have to look my best! Not feeling the motivation but i can only try.

Take care x

[Neo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Saturday evening Nesters

Ahhh, temps finally back to the 70's, nice
I'd much rather feel a touch chilly than baking like a potato, ha ha!

Neo, you are doing just great, be proud. I am a little concerned about your self-imposed time limit of two months until you heal. Healing happens slowly & a different rate for everyone. I know it took me almost a solid year before I really felt human again. That was probably due to my age & a whole lot of other emotional stuff going on too. Developing patience with ourselves & believing in the process helps immensely.

Pav, I hope your evening goes well, whatever you decide to do

Kensho, I hope your strawberry ginger lemonade fizz did the trick for you. Putting the headphones on & listening to some guided meditations helps me settle down every time.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

Well It's 12 Days AL & NF . In regards to the self imposed limit. Unfortunately it's not. It's the time it can take to start improving in regards to studies but everyone is a bit different

Last few days haven't been so much fun. I feel great health wise but clearly know I have impairment recalling some stuff ,difficulty focusing and very tired that I haven't had much sleep. Knowing I can clearly pinpoint this as no way you could notice drinking everyday,It gives me that drive of not wanting to return to this. Feeling in despair, I revisited a site on Baclofen and low and behold I had a bottle on hand. Had one this afternoon and it has taken quite alot of that hopelessness away. Will see how this works out over the course of the week .I've done a great job with only good foods and no meds but I think this is going to help

[Readynow79]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well, I survived the weekend! Had a great meal out with a friend on Friday night, worked and shopped on Saturday then finished off a memory/photo book for my niece's 18th birthday. Yesterday, we went out for lunch to celebrate the big birthday and I was the designated driver, for the first time in........forever! My sister had some drinks at lunch (very rare for her), cos she wanted an alcoholic beverage with her now grown-up daughter..........who had juice! So it seems that this horrible illness that a whole lot of our family suffer from has passed her by, for now at least. When I think back, I was all pure and sanctimonious at that age too cos I didn't want to be like my dad. And now look at me. But still, onwards and upwards.
PS - Edit. I was so slim and HOT in all these old photos!! It was only after I turned 30 that I stopped caring for myself. Can you reverse 8 years of abuse to your skin, hair, weight, etc? Part of me wishes I'd known how hot I was back then so I might have made better choices (low low low self-esteem), but then I am also glad I wasn't a "smug girl"!!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - I'm so sorry to hear about your niece's diagnosis. Sounds like time to rally all the support and prayers or positive energy your family can. Happy news for your sister's daughter though (also your niece, right???). A roller coaster sounds about right - glad you were able to ride it sober!

Ava - glad to hear you're feeling more like yourself!

Pav - no alone time, but you didn't have to deal with the social situation and it sounds like you had a nice evening (?). Glad it all turned out well for you.

TJAF, PAv, Kensho, Neo, and others who just aren't "feeling great" lately - I agree with others who have posted that, as hard (and maybe disappointing, frustrating, discouraging) as these doldrums or other sort of low periods can be, they are in fact quite normal and unless there is some other underlying issue, they will pass. These are some of the times that al tries to lure us back in, promising relief, excitement, fun, or other positivity. All lies for sure! You can and will get through this, and you will likely experience similar periods again. Take care of and be gentle with yourselves.


Happy Monday MAE to everyone! It's a great day to be AF!!!

[Quit wining]

Re: Newbies Nest

Its going to be a challenging 2 weeks coming up. Friends from Ontario are joining us for a trip to the beautiful Oregon Coast and in the past when we've travelled together, there has been plenty of AL.

Hopefully they'll understand my desire not to drink AL with them. Guess I'll be the DD!

Q Dubya

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

QW, you can do anything you set your mind to! Just make it happen, no chllaenge at all! Thats the way I look at it. I really have two choices about how things will go regarding AL....drink and die or dont drink it and live. It has gotten down to those two chiices for me. Im just not a normal drinker and no amount of wishing it will make it true. It is a relief not to have the internal struggle anymore. I am done with AL, god knows I gave it every possible chance. No good ever came of it. With time and distance you will not have the internal struggles either. It is a great place to be. Give it time! Just hang in, no matter what!
Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I'm right there with you on the two choices Byrdie. Why choose to drink now that I finally understand & accept that I cannot do so normally?? Not much of a choice really, haha!

Rain today & tomorrow but that's OK. I am taking my daughter & granddaughter to the beach on Wednesday, maybe it will clear up by then.
Grateful to have my health & the chance to spend this time with my girls. This is why I quit & stay quit

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

QW - My first sober trip with the drinking friends ended up being GREAT. 1) they didn't drink as much as I remembered (I guess I was the one...) and 2) I felt SO great when they woke up hungover and I was feeling fine. That bad breath smell, puffy-eyed, grogginess? None here. Hope you have a great time.

Yes, low times end. Turns out life with or without AL is not all rainbows and unicorns.

Happy Monday.

Pav

[Neo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day -13 For me. The last week has been tough adapting to being sober, the confusion etc. I managed to Take 2 baclofen about 6hrs apart yesterday. They helped alot and made me feel more positive than I have been for along time and I had a great nights sleep. Am being careful to see how any/if any side effects will come into play .If it goes well, I plan to stick it out for 6 or so months .Have read alot of reports about how people quit and then have a few beers but not really interested. This would be awesome if I slipup in future as I don't want to go back to the way I was. Have read the starting dose for those already quit is 3 x 10mg/Day and so far so good.Will have last tab for day in a few hours

[tonyniceday]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nest

Bit of a dilemma here. Mrs T got very very drunk tonight (right in front of me in the restaurant!) and for some insane reason, and I know I have absolutely no right to feel this way, I feel incredibly angry.

She doesn't usually drink this much and I have no problem at all with her having a drink in front of me normally, but it just felt awful tonight - I don't know why I feel like this - guess I deserve it after all the drinking I did over the years! How do you deal with these kinds of feelings that you have no right to?

Anyway, on a completely different subject, and I know this should really go on the medication thread, but [MENTION=22857]Neo[/MENTION] the Baclofen dosage sounds right but I get my Doc to prescribe 5mg 6 times a day because 5mg is not available as a tablet in the UK so it then has to come as a liquid medicine. The advantage is that you feel the benefits much quicker! I don't use it all the time, but it is very helpful with cravings when they do occur.

Byrdie, such a mixed set of news with the nieces... sending positive thoughts for both of them!

Tony

Tony

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening, nesters!
Tony, not sure what to add to your situation except that spit happens. I wonder why she did that? That is odd. I know that I have no tolerance for being around drunk people now but yours sounds like more of a resentment, maybe? I resented my hubs for being able to drink when I couldnt but mow I realize how stupid that was of me. He GOT to drink? Like it is some sort of privilidge? Its a drug that is addictive and impairs our judgement, who says thats a privilidge? More like a sentence.
Neo, its the dream of all alkies to believe they will get to drink in the future with impunity and good judgement. Dont make any bets on that. Ive been here a long time and Ive never seen it happen yet. The problem with holding on to that is that you never fully commit to being sober. Leaving that door open lets the beast right back in. You dont need AL to live, enjoy life, perform better or relax. Its all totally possible withour it, in fact, its 1000 times better. At 13 days you are well on your way to that life. Slam the door on AL and dont look back, you will never regret not drinking!
Have a great evening, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Tuesday evening Nesters,

Checking in to see how everyone is doing & to let you know that I may or may not be able to post for the next few days while I am away. Sometimes the wifi works in hotels & sometimes it just doesn't

Tony, I'm sorry you felt that way about your wife but I probably would feel the same way if I watched my husband do the same. Who Knows? With women sometimes AL affects them differently & in a more powerful way. Maybe it was more of a hormonal shift than a real AL blast. Do your best to just let it go - that always works for me.

Neo, great job on your 13 AF days! Like Byrdie said planning for the possibility of being able to drink in the future may not be a good idea right now. Back when MWO first started there was a large group of people trying to learn to drink moderately with the help of a pharmaceutical of some sort. Roberta Jewel, the site originator actually gave up on the idea herself, said it was too difficult. Everyone was urged to go 30 days AF before attempting to drink moderately & that was actually what I had planned to do myself. I changed my mind when I reached day 30 because by then, I knew deep down that I was not ready to attempt just ONE drink. I knew that would never happen realistically so I chose to remain AF. That was the right decision for me & you will make the right decision for yourself when the time comes.

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Tony - sorry to hear about the situation with your wife drinking so much at dinner. It sounds like it was very difficult for you, and I think I can relate. My spouse is a "2 beers per night" drinker, generally no more and no less. Every now and then (maybe a few times per year) this becomes 3 or max 4 beers and behavior changes set in. I absolutely hate when this happens, as there is always some sort of miscommunication or upset of some kind, and as a alkie former drinker and now sober person, I can see how much of this difficulty is due to the al. Sigh... My heart goes out to you, and I'm sorry you had this experience. Not sure you're looking for advice, but if you are, maybe use it as a learning and reinforcement opportunity for yourself? As a reminder of how you don't want to be and why you don't want that? Otherwise, I agree with Lav's and Byrdie's suggestions to let it go and try not to let it bother you, especially if this is not a regular occurrence.

Neo - yep, a lot of us hope that we'll some day be able to drink a few drinks and have there be no fall out, no return to the depths we've crawled out of. Many of us have tried that, and those same many of us have pretty much found this never works. I understand your longing, but if al is truly a problem for you, my guess is that you'd be better off embracing an AF life instead of hoping and waiting for the day you can drink normally.

QW - First, I hope you have a fantastic trip to the beautiful Oregon Coast! I live in the pacific NW of the U.S. and I can attest that this is a gorgeous part of our country. Have you been before? If not, if you'd like any suggestions of what not to miss, feel free to PM me. Suggestions will depend on the types of activities your group enjoys most. Ok, on that same topic, start now to plan for your own success on this trip. Yes, be the designated driver. Or some other job (photographer?) that gives you tasks and an excuse to stay AF if you want/need one. Whatever you do, go in with a plan and then go in with some backup plans in case there is temptation. Having said all that, I agree with Pav that your trip can and hopefully will be wonderful without any al going down your gullet. And just think how much better you'll remember everything!

Ready - congrats on getting through your weekend! Keep rockin' it!!!

Happy almost-hump day everyone!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Feeling really good with my quit lately. I just passed the 300-day mark and have my sights on my first year anniversary coming up in late July. 300+ days is my personal record for a purposeful quit. I say it that way because I had about 10-12 years sober between roughly 1998-2010, but it was just a fact of my life at that time. I was in a relationship with a non-drinker and mostly had a circle of non-drinker friends. I didn't make a conscious decision to stop drinking, my lifestyle was just one that didn't include alcohol. I guess I didn't need it, for whatever reason. I lived my life as a non-drinker and people knew me as a non-drinker. The longer it was out of my system, the easier it was to do without and the less likely it was to cross my mind.

Now I'm in a quit that I began quite consciously and with distinct determination. 300+ days is feeling pretty darn good, and I feel like I've turned a corner. It's almost like I've rediscovered the "me" who doesn't drink. I've rebuilt that identity, and the people around me now (different people than before, by and large) have come to know me as a non-drinker (these same people knew me when I was drinking before my quit started last summer, but they've adjusted to the new me I guess).

I have a camping trip this upcoming holiday weekend with my spouse and a couple of friends. I will be the only non-drinker in the crew, but I'm not worried in the slightest. I feel solid, and it feels good.

What I guess I'm saying is that I started my quit in July 2016 by "acting as if" I was/am a non-drinker even when I didn't truly feel like one. The whole "fake it til you make it" strategy. I took things one day at a time, and I just approached each day with the mindset that I do not drink, even though I didn't always think I knew how to be that person. Somewhere along the line, gradually, I truly became a non-drinker. I don't feel like I'm faking it anymore, it feels authentic and genuine and secure.

There will probably be days in the future where I'll have to fake it again for a bit if the ground gets shaky, but it's been a great learning to discover that if I keep on acting as if I'm a non-drinker, I will in fact truly be one.

[Neo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day 14 Had a baclofen 20 mins ago and that helped tremendously. I'd have to agree that this has powerful anxiolytic effects . Saw Doc today and he prescribed me 30 x 2mg valium (smaller than last dose which was 5mg) and 100mg Thiamine tablets. I was getting 150mg from mega B one but this won't hurt adding that in. In reply to the posts about going back to social drinking. This wasn't what the post was about. My post refered to studies on other people who have taken Baclofen who have slipped up and found that they were no longer really concerned with drinking . It was taken from this site http://baclofentreatment.com/practic...on-treatments/ I couldnt recommend this site highly enough for people that are stuggling after their first week or so and have had multiple quits, or as a matter of fact, those still drinking that want to quit can use it whereas some other meds such as Naltroxone require a period of abstinence

SECTION 4: Baclofen helps anxiety as well as alcohol cravings:

Baclofen has a powerful anti-anxiety (anxiolytic) effect and this is immensely helpful for alcohol addicted patients. My experience is that the hardest alcoholics to treat are those with severe anxiety which they “medicate” with alcohol. This is well described by Olivier Ameisen in his book The End of my Addiction.

As an anti-anxiety agent, alcohol ticks all the boxes. It’s rapidly effective, cheap, easily available, socially acceptable and legal. Most of our population uses alcohol at some time to relax, de-stress or enhance social interactions – at the end of a hard day’s work or at an awkward party full of strangers.

However for patients with chronic anxiety, the immense relief they feel after drinking alcohol is a trap. Many rapidly become dependant on its relaxing effect. With time they need to increase the amount of alcohol to get the same relaxing effect and become addicted.

For anxious patients, stopping the alcohol provokes not only withdrawal, which feels like bad anxiety, but also unmasks their underlying anxiety problem. This double whammy makes it very hard for anxious alcohol addicted patients to sustain sobriety, especially when faced with stressful situations or life events.

By reducing cravings AND anxiety, baclofen reduces the risk of relapse. For many patients this stops an endless cycling between agonising sobriety and relapsing into heavy drinking. They can experience stable sobriety and the chance to reconstruct their life.