Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Kim and Susie - thanks for being brave and sharing your struggles. I can only speak for myself when I say that giving up all alcohol for good was the best thing that's happened to me for the last four years. Even if I was able to moderate (which I WASN'T), I am so grateful for the head space I've freed up without that daily discussion with myself. Will I or won't I drink tonight? How much? How often? Does that restaurant have a bar? Did we stop by the store? All of that buzzing in my brain regarding alcohol in my life. It was so freeing to get that out of my life for good!

For some, MWO is enough, others take other paths. I found I needed some 1:1 counseling because I am not very good at lying to someone's face, although I had gotten very good at lying to myself. Others use a medical path, AA, another meeting - there are many ways to skin this cat. I know for myself that I wouldn't feel as great as I do now if I hadn't given it up totally and for good.

Off to work - a pretty exciting day in the works. I am a big basketball fan, so I am very excited for the game tonight.

Happy Thursday,
Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning everyone, I was up at 6am this morning and feel great. Thank goodness.

Kim and Susie, I was the same way when I was trying to quit. After 6 weeks or so I started drinking again and I came and posted here. NS asked me "Nar do you really want to quit? How much do you really want to do this?"
That was kind of a kick in the butt for me. I realized that I had to put 100% into actually quitting. I was a little annoyed at NS for asking me those questions but I think I really needed to re wire my brain and that little shove by NS helped me.
I went to the tool box, practiced gratitude, posted everyday, listened to the Bubble Hour, read books written by alcoholics, got counselling, exercised, drank all kinds of non AL drinks, meditated, I did it all, and it worked
You can do it too!
Like I say "You can have the life you want or you can drink"
Just go day by day- don't think too far into the future because that is just overwhelming. Don't drink Today.

Pav, have a great time at the Basketball game. xo

G Man, hope your date was excellent.

Have a great day everyone!
xo

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kim and Susie - sorry to hear you chose to drink, but very glad you came and posted here. I know from experience that isn't an easy thing to do.

My thoughts, to be taken or left, from my heart but with a grain of salt:

The things that you are each experiencing, thinking/mulling over, etc are not uncommon. Sure, we all have to find our own paths, and we're generally all here because alcohol is a problem of one or more sorts in each of our lives. Ultimately, it will be up to each of you, individually, to determine what you want for your life and as a corollary what role (if any) al will play in that life. For many people here on MWO, moderation is the desire but abstinence is truly the only real option. I know for me personally, I tried just about every plan possible in an effort to successfully moderate. I wanted so badly to be able to drink socially, to have "just a few every now and then" to loosen up, relax, etc. But because al is a serious problem for me, those plans all failed at some point. For me, it takes FAR less energy to abstain than to moderate, and even my best periods of moderation came crashing down in failure. It just isn't meant to be, and once I accepted that, the struggle lessened considerably.

In many ways, my process has been akin to grieving, including all the stages like denial, bargaining, and finally acceptance. With acceptance came a huge amount of relief.

Nobody here or elsewhere can tell you what your path should be. Having said that, there are folks on here with long quits of their own and years of experience watching MWOers come and go, and they likely have seen, heard and experienced just about everything. I know for sure these folks have seen patterns as they themselves and others here have worked through their quits. I would absorb their wisdom as much as possible, and I would also encourage each of you to think hard about what you want and what you need. Read back through the archives and find stories that resonate with you. Perhaps most importantly, next time you want to drink, refer to your own wisdom - come back and read your words in these recent posts to remind yourselves how you're feeling now after breaking your quits. What you're thinking, feeling and saying right now is likely your deepest truth - the core of what you want and who you want to be. It's easy to lose sight of that or rationalize those thoughts away when al is whispering in your ear. Let your today selves advise your future selves, cuz you've got great advice!

Glad you're back and glad to be part of your journey. Keep posting. :hug:

[Susie45]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you all for your supportive posts. I am feeling pretty good on Day 4.
I agree with you wagmor - trying to moderate is too much work. Any amount of alcohol doesn't agree with me anymore. Better to stick to sober plan. Night night nesters.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters near and not so far.

Go for it Kim and Susie!

Thinking of you and family Pauly.

Ok, i've had thousands of texts, emails, Skype calls, and faxes from people here and various fashion mags abroad asking me about my date night, so here goes. Well, it was really good and lots of fun. I reckon it's just too good to be true. How/why did the universe point this woman my way? (probably my old low self worth demon surfacing momentarily talking it's lies again there!). She likes me a lot, i like her a lot and the convo flowed freely and warmly with lots of laughs and tender moments. Very comfy vibe all round. She's a nurse too, with the integrity of our Lav, so a good woman with a good heart. Not only that. She is damn gorgeous, loving, considerate and main thing.....she's into me. We talked and kept real close all night and into the next day when we had breakfast and i drove her home. 2nd date is on next weekend, which is a good sign! However, she said she needs time to 'process things' as she had her heart broken last week so doesn't want to jump into anything new straight away. I said, 'no worries, no pressure here. I am here with open mind and open heart and i'm into you. I'll just keep saying yes and turning up until you say no'. Anyway, it's early days. The interesting things i am feeling! I feel a little vulnerable and exposed, but i think it is well worth putting myself forward and out there emotionally, romantically because for all i know things could continue and work out, and if so, will be the most significant event/turning point for me in a long time. If she decides not to go for it with me, my attitude will be - no worries, i am just so grateful for the time spent with such a quality gorgeous individual, even though i will likely be a little heartbroken. Either way no matter what happens it's okay. i'll be okay, she'll be okay, and really this whole situation is a magical romantic experience even if just for a few moments.

Take care out there friends.

[PanhandleKim]

Re: Newbies Nest

I appreciate everyone here and your comments, sharing of experiences and guidance. We have a ridiculous schedule this summer and I'm hoping that the activity will be a welcome distraction to the previous evening routine of drinking wine. Just planning to move forward and trying not to look back...Hope everyone has a good and sober Friday.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Kim, you have the right attitude. Put the past away & move forward - only

G, I am very happy to hear your date report. You deserve a kind lady & I hope it all works out for you. Take it one day at a time fella, OK?

Wags, your post really took me back. I also grieved the loss of 'my friend AL - the only one who (I thought) understood me'. Just goes to show how cloudy & basically ridiculous my thinking was back then. Thinking of things like that just makes me more determined to keep the bastard out of my life forever

It was a beautiful day here & I actually spent some time outside trimming things, pulling weeds & was completely happy to do so. Who would have thought, huh?
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

G, wow, that is quite a report! I am really happy for you, you deserve it. I can imagine it is hard to open yourself up to this. Like Lav says, one day at a time.

xo
Goodnight

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

Starting Day 2. I'm not quitting. I'll be checking in daily at the Cafe. Friday ain't no ticket to boozville!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

No ticket to Boozeville here, either, Mr. V. Glad you're back. Any thoughts about how to alter your approach this time?

G - Glad to hear you're in a positive space. ODAAT as they say. Works well in so many situations. You deserve to have a great time, eyes wide open.

I had a hard time sleeping last night which is rare for me - I have a headache this morning and will be a bit slow today, I think. I'll keep my coffee cup full and my serious cognitive tasks at a minimum - and none of it due to a hangover. Phew.

Happy Friday,
Pav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

TGIF!
GMan, so happy for you, she must be one special lady to have caught your eye. Keep us posted!
Hope everyone has a peaceful evening! Byrdie

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

A busy week for me and so glad it is Saturday here.

Pan and Susie great work on coming back. When we dont post we are not accountable and al will find a way back in to our lives. If we were normal drinkers we would not be on a drinking site for problem drinkers. The early days and weeks are crucial in being around people who understand.

I celebrated 3 and a 1/2 years a couple of days ago (congratulations Pav) and i still feel excited when i hit a milestone. I dont expect the dancing girls or a parade anymore for my achievement in sobriety but i am so very proud of myself that i can and have achieved sobriety. I still work at it each day, its a part of who i am but living sober is so much easier than the daily internal fighting.

Today is day 7 smoke free and relapse brain is working overtime! So i am off to a vaping shop this morning. Yesterday i ran through the shopping centre to get what i wanted and then realised i was damn hungry so once i ate i was so much better. I knew this would be as hard as giving up al which is probs why it has taken me 3 /12 years to do it but i will get there, i have smoked for more years than i drank. I will take on as much arsenal as needed to beat this addiction also.

G, i hope it works out for you. Feeling like a teenager again is a great feeling. Most of my relationships drunk were a nightmare and this one is nice and comfortable and exciting and sober. I am meeting his friends tomorrow and that is nerve wracking. The children, his mum were all fine BUT his friends! The old me was thinking "maybe i am not good enough, maybe they wont like me" and someone said to me "maybe you wont like them". If his friends are as nice as he is then i will have a lovely day.

Well off to the vaping shop and homework and knitting and twins coming for a visit.

Take care x

[Susie45]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sober Friday here. I like going to bed knowing tomorrow I will wake up unhung. I have my annual MRI in the morning. I am 2 years cancer free and hoping that my MRI is clear. Always a bit stressful. Praying for good results. Night night nesters.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It was another lovely day here in Lav-land, grateful to be outside & enjoying it all before it gets too hot!

Susie, wishing you the best with your MRI. Staying away from AL can only help you maintain your good health

Pav, hope you catch some sleep tonight!

Mr V, stick with us & we'll help you count your AF days!!!

Ava, congrats on both of your quits, awesome!
I had such a rough time quitting the smokes too. I am absolutely certain that I never, ever want to go thru that again, ha ha! Helps me keep my quit, for sure

Hi to Narilly, G, Byrdie & everyone.
Have a safe night in the nest one & all!

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sober Friday night everyone.
I am going to watch House of Cards now and then hit the sackaroo. I was so freakin busy today, gardening, taking my mom and MIL out, walking my dogs, I wonder how I ever worked...actually I wonder how I had time to drink. Funny how we Always found time to drink! Its amazing how many things we can get done when we are not drinking.

Hi Susie, I will be waking up Un Hung with you tomorrow morning, oh yeah!
Ava, way to go with the smokes, good luck, you can do it girl.
Pav, coffee is good
Hello Lav, Byrdie, Mr G.
Mr. V- glad you are here. Keep checking in.

I am going to my home town tomorrow to hang out with a bunch of old chums. We drank together through high school and after high school. Drank a lot. Tomorrow I am not going to drink with them, I will be bringing my Perrier and drinking coffee. No AL for me. I am sure they are going to be shocked and may pressure me a bit. I feel strong enough in my sobriety that it wont be a problem. I will check in here tomorrow though, just to make sure.

Thanks for being here everyone.
xo
do not drink tonight