Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

LC. welcome back, glad you are here with us. Regardless of what's been going on, put yourself in 1st place & get going on the healthy life you deserve. Stick around now, you know the routine.

Cowboy, I remember when I found MWO after a simple Google search but that was a long time ago. I imagine lots of people are finding other resources these days & that's OK if they are finding the help they need. Those of us who have stayed around year after year are doing so out of sheer habit, comfort & gratitude I think

Ava, glad to hear Mads is stable today. I worry constantly about my 14 1/2 year old big dog, it's getting way too difficult to handle her.

Pav, enjoy your mountain weekend.

G, enjoy your date, happy for you!

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters..
I'm feeling better this morning, up with the birds as usual this time of year. Just signing on here last night relieved me of some of the stress I've been carrying around the past weeks. I think my core problem is that I don't have enough self love. Like you said, Gman, that is a huge part of why so many of us drank so much to begin with.. then the addiction sets in. So I googled how to practice self love, which sounds stupid, I know, but I really couldn't figure out where to start. I found one list that struck me because it rang so true, was simple and I don't tend to do the things on the list... but can see that if I did, I would learn to love and respect myself more.. here it is, in case anyone is feeling like I was. A Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love | Psychology Today

So I'm off for a walk on this lovely, windy and overcast morning. Trying to shake up my normal morning routine by getting in a bit of fresh air first thing.
:hug:

[Darkest Diamonds]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm back, today will be day 5! xx

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome back DD LC,I'd be scared to google"self love":egad: Cowboy,thats quite a bit of peeps signing up but not posting I wonder why? I know when I first came here there were a lot of threads that I was scared of posting on cuz I didn't want to "barge in" I wonder if that's why? Who knows,it is a little sad to only have a handful of regulars and new people on the boards,wishing everyone a happy AF day

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,

Wags reporting from my road trip. All is well so far - lots of miles and zero al for me! We've got a big family get-together today (my in-law family, so there's that added challenge) and the al will be flowing but I've set myself up as designated driver so I have a built-in excuse. I barely know these people and don't even like some of them, so no way would I blow my quit on their behalf.

I am struggling a bit with some sad news though. A few days ago I got word from my closet cousin that she went to the ER with a bad headache, ultimately found out she has an inoperable brain tumor. Things look pretty grim, as the initial biopsy results indicate that it's probably a very aggressive form of brain cancer with a dark prognosis. She probably has weeks or months to live. She is my age, and this came out of left field. It's hitting me hard for several reasons, but I'm not tempted to drink. Instead it has reminded me how precious life is and how important it is to cherish every day because you never know when things might turn on a dime.

Live life everyone, and hug your loved ones. Protect your quits!

Will check in again when I can and will read back to catch up on everyone as well.

[ssd858]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - I am sorry to hear about your puppy. I hope you get more time with her. :hug:

Googling self love
rotlfl.gif

You crack me up Pauly!


[MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION] - thank you for sharing the link. I think most of us here could benefit from this.

Welcome [MENTION=23142]Darkest Diamonds[/MENTION]. Way to go on Day5!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone!
just a quick hello and I will post more later...my lunch is burning!
xo

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi again Nesters,
just checking in at the end of the day.. about to go to sleep. I am happy to have day 1 behind me.
Wags, I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. That is very sad news and I can imagine you're all over the boards emotionally. Hugs and strength to you from afar.
Good night to all.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I have my grandsons staying overnight, I just hope they have finally settled down, fun times.

Wags, I am sorry about your cousin, that's sad. We sure do need to hug everyone we can & be grateful for our lives & health. Please take care of yourself & be safe on your trip :hug:

DD, hello & welcome back! Great on your 5 days!
Hello ssd, glad to see you as well.

LC, awesome getting that tough day 1 done! Keep going & stick with us.

Hello to everyone else & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning!
up with the birds again.. I guess it's ok in Summer, even nice, to take advantage of the extra day light hours.
I feel so good this morning, having finally done what I promised myself I would do. I stayed inside most of the day to be safe and ate a ton of healthy food. Lately, it's not been that I've been drinking sooo much (not for someone with a drinking problem, but way more than the general public) but that I HAD to drink something alcoholic, which almost always ended up being more than I wanted. And that was with a lot of control on my part.. EVERY day it was a discussion in my head, dishonesty with myself, not being my best for life. The usual when I drink.
I'm focussing now on changing how I see myself, accepting myself. Trying, when I look in the mirror, to see the whole being, not just the physical.. telling myself nicely, each day a couple of things I like about myself. A few days ago I couldn't think of anything. I wanted to ask some friends what they liked about me, but I felt too insecure to be so vulnerable. Crazy. When I drink I have to hide from everything and everyone.. that means that even if I show up, I'm not really there.
I'm also practicing putting my needs in front of my wants.. which is really new to me. Needs in the sense of, turning away from what feels good and exciting (often just for moments or hours) to support what I need to stay centered and strong and focussed on moving forward in life. Turning away from automatic behaviours and action patterns that get me into trouble.
Anyway, today I'm meeting a friend at the flea market and then my youngest is coming to help me bake a cake for this afternoon.. we're making a bostom creme type cake with vanilla custard, strawberries and whipped cream. I cooked a lot yesterday and it was fun.. I cook for a living so I'm not so inspired to do it at home, especially if I'm on my own.. but I decided to cook for myself as I would if guests were coming and that in itself did something for me. Boosted feelings of self worth and love to have someone take the time to cook something delicious for me. Followed Ottolenghi recipes, for anyone who loves cooking, he writes the best cookbooks!

ok Nesters. Off to enjoy an Unhung Sunday. Thank God.
G-Man, I've been checking out the relapse prevention pdf you posted.. great stuff. Thanks! And have a great date night!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=21027]wagmore[/MENTION], I am so sorry to hear about your cousin's diagnosis and the pain you're feeling. I will be thinking of you and your family. I hope you can still enjoy the rest of your trip :hug:. And although your loved one who is hurting is a dog, [MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION], all of us animal lovers know how scary it is to imagine losing them.
[MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION], you love yourself enough to come back and try again, so you've got that as a good base.
I am all for doing nice things for yourself (I had a massage just the other day :smile, eating in the way that you feel best, setting and maintaining limits in relationships, and all the other stuff that comes up when you Google self-love (crack me up, [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION]!!). But - the most loving, caring thing you can do for yourself right now doesn't come with short-term pleasant feelings. Early on it feels like torture not to drink. It feels self-destructive NOT to relieve the pain, agitation, or sadness you're feeling. It feels like it would be kind to do what you know will work to relieve the immediate pain.

I know you're a mom who loves her girls completely and part of that often involves disappointing them in the short run to achieve the long term goal of raising kind, compassionate, healthy adults who don't have to bear serious consequences of adolescent mistakes that they were too immature to recognize. It's hard to be the "mean" parent sometimes and endure the rage and rejection but we know we have to do it because we love them. So we do, and have to experience the short-term bad feelings.

Our addicted brains make teenagers seem thoughtful and deliberate! Talk about demanding immediate gratification! So you need to be ready to give yourself that most difficult love that hurts at the time - but that will be the kindest thing you can do to give yourself the life you want, need, and deserve.

Treat yourself and talk to yourself like you do your girls. You would never tell them that they were ugly, stupid, or weak because they feel a certain way or made a mistake but you also wouldn't let them do something that you know will hurt them, and make them feel bad about themselves, in the end.

I hope you stay connected, LC. You have great success when you're actively reading and posting here and apparently your brain slips back to the familiar default setting when you stop the daily "tune-up" this site provides. It isn't easy to make choices that don't immediately feel good. I'm always reading and learning more about addiction and diabetes - it makes it so much easier to practice long-term, sometimes tough, self-love in the choices I make. xx, NS

[ssd858]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags - my hugs to you and your family. I hope you get to spend some time with your cousin.

LC - it sounds like you had a fabulous day 1 and day 2 will be even better! I can relate to the wanting to be free of the negative reactionary behaviors. When we reach that point in our addiction it seems that is all we do, react. It is freeing to be able to slow our thinking down and actually make a reasoned decision. Have a great day!

Gman - what are your plans for the date?

I had a great day 2 - we are extending our deck to build a grill area with a built in grill, refrigerator and a few cabinets. While hubs was working on the deck I hacked away at our giant bird of paradise for 5 hours! Had I been drinking I would probably have stopped at an hour/2 max and then had a glass of wine. That would be the end of all productivity for the day. We worked until 6 and then ordered dinner. Today we will be continuing with the deck and then ordering our cabinets.

Happy sober Sunday to all!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,aah!Ssd birds of paradise is one of my favorite plants! I had one that was doing do beautifully when I lived in San Diego,no birds of paradise for me in Vegas NS,wonderful post I see such a difference in people when they're her,actively posting,staying off the booze,they're so much more alive,happy,thriving then you'll see some relapse and continue to post and they're negative,sad,etc,I think getting some sober days and keeping them going is the best thing ever even though its tough as nails some days!! The hard sober days are nothing compared to the shite drunken days,if I had been drinking or started to drink when my brother passed I'm scared of where my mind would have gone period...LC,take NS's advice and stick here you deserve it off to wrangle a breakfast out of hubs at either IHOP or Denny's,its one of "our things" that I enjoy in sobriety, have a great AF day all!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi again Nesters,
checking in at the end of day 2! very happy and very tired.
i'll be up at the crack of dawn again and will be here first thing with my yummy morning coffee.
see you all then.:love:

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way.
Made it to Washington, DC. Ran into a former customer of mine and his wife. They got complimentary wine and cheese in their room and invited me up to have a snack. I declined saying I was going to get the lay of the land here at the hotel. I had an exit strategy. My Plan is in place and thankfully, Ive had practice. Everything is hard at first but gets easier with time. Hang in, everyone, I promise its worth it.
Byrdie