Newbies Nest

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

evening nester

A busy week for me. I am about to go on stress leave if i have to deal with the village idiot i work with much longer. Its like working with a 2 year old who is 55. would have been a perfect excuse to drink everyday if i drank that was.

Mads having another good week which is great, i think the vet made it up, well i wish.

Glad your date went well G, my significant other is 7 years older than me and i swore i would never date anyone older. age is just a number, i creak as much as he does and we enjoy the same things. life is good even if he drives me totally nuts. He is basically a non drinker so he is perfect for me.

LC, write the emails, just save them as drafts, i always do that. have about 30 in my drafts folder. helps me express how i feel. like a diary which i have also, sometimes i spew forth like there is no tomorrow and it makes me feel better which is important.

Wags i had to pull every positive i could think of out of me. even if i felt so angry, sad stressed i had to find a positive each and every day as i thought what was the point if i cant. I never found anything positive when i was pouring al down my throat. i hated life, i hated my job, i hated a lot. Now i can still not like something but there is always a positive in a negative.

Off for a massage tomorrow and hoping to go with the man to find a dress for his nieces wedding. i hope they have plenty of af beverages at this wedding but if not i will have a stash. its great that i dont stress anymore and i wont be an embarrassment and not remember what i did. As time goes on we feel totally different about al and as my daughter said today "mum you have not had a rotten hangover for nearly 4 years" and thank god for that i say.

take care x

[Marylou123]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters - Happy Saturday! Great reading here lately.

Wags, Lav - I totally agree with "Fake it till you make it" strategy to break/change a habit. Part of that is self-talk, at least for me. Like "I don't drink." or "I'll feel better after this root canal." Even if it doesn't feel true at the time, I get great satisfaction realizing it is true.

Ava, I've also found it's much easier, and satisfying, dealing with emotions sober versus drowning them with al. I used to play things over and over in my drunken state of mind. And of course nothing ever got better. Now, I can deal with the kaka and let it go. Moving forward is not only possible, it's freedom. Have fun dress shopping!

LC - sounds like you've got a great day planned - enjoy. IMHO - forget confronting. I heard this about a month ago and it's been rolling around my brain: An offense is an event; to stay offended is a decision. Something to think about - hope it helps.

Have a wonderful weekend Nesters. Stay cool, or warm depending on you're location.

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey everyone. Been meaning to sneak in here and post but just haven't gotten around to it. I have been under tremendous stress lately. My mom had a stroke a few weeks back and it has been an extremely rough time for me as I am responsible for all decisions and looks like I will have to move back home to care for her. This alone if enough to make me drink. I haven't and don't plan on it but I am not feeling well from all the added stress. She is in fairly good shape now but will need will not have the independence she did before this. I will have to fill in the gaps and do what is necessary. It is hard and I have been helping her for years. I don't know what I have left in me but guess I am about to find out. Maybe something good will come of this as I think she finally realizes her limitations instead of portraying to me that she is o.k. and strong when in reality she hides behind a facade that only adds to my stress and anxiety. I will need to find more support and help b/c although I think I am superman, I am not. I am grateful for MWO as a resource to keep me accountable to my number one escape poison. Escape is temporary and a trap that my mind needs to fully grasp as a visit down alcohol alley will not allow me to do what I need to going forward. Damn mind always looks for a way out of the pain and alcohol was a crutch for years. Hope I am up to the task and do not cave. I plan on taking care of myself so that I may help others. Right now sitting in a rough spot w/ her scheduled return home in a few days. I plan to be strong and work my plan. See what happens. Thanks to everyone for all the caring and support that are here at MWO.

[Struggles 106]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey thanks NS

You are exactly right! Thanks for the kind words!
12 weeks and going on...

Ann

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
I am very happy to be at the end of day 2. I followed all of the advice from yesterday and honest to God, it helped me A LOT. You were all coming to me at different times of the day. There was only one time alcohol came into my mind and that was to say, I'm not drinking no matter what. I have someone here who is helping me in a strange way and I want to tell you all about it on Monday, when the girls go to their Papa's and I have a bit more time to write.
As for now, I'm relieved to be back on track and am taking it slow and easy.
Hypernova, strength to you.. I'm sorry to hear about your Mom and the added stress the situation brings to your life. It sounds like a great idea to get some help where you can..:hug:

love to you all and wishing everyone a nice Saturday evening/Sunday morning.
See you tomorrow!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good afternoon, Nesters.
I've just finished a batch of cookies for a company cookie contest next week. Wish me luck, Ive got the company logo on there, I hope that scores me some extra points! Back in the day, Id have been passed out by this time on a Saturday. I really enjoy the cake and cookie decorating, Im glad I have discovered it in my sobriety. Like Ava, I didnt have any ambition to do much of anything but find my next drink. Those werent the days.
Stay strong, everyone. There is joy on the other side, I promise!
Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Saturday evening Nesters,

Only about an hour left in the day - it sure went fast today.

LC, glad to hear you are doing well. Keep close to the nest, we will keep sending you positive vibes

Hypernova, sorry about your Mom. I hope she is OK once she is home. Maybe you can think about getting someone in part time if she needs help with personal care stuff. Taking care of yourself, first & foremost is the best way you can help her.

Ava, did you find a dress? Forget about the village idiot at work, ha ha!!

Greetings to everyone & sending wishes for a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning!
I'm up and early, getting a bit of time to myself before the girls wake up. I love early morning in the summer months.
I'll be heading out to the garden of a friend from work today and I'm quite sure people will be drinking prosecco.. I will take my own fizzy non AL drink and will help with work in the garden.
Today I feel quite strong with the decision to free myself. I have a stressful few days of work coming up so I'll have to make a strong plan each morning for the afternoons. One day at a time.
Byrdie, I hope you win the contest!!
Hi and Hugs to everyone stopping in or flying by today.
I'll be back this afternoon.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good afternoon, Nesters.
I've just finished a batch of cookies for a company cookie contest next week. Wish me luck, Ive got the company logo on there, I hope that scores me some extra points! Back in the day, Id have been passed out by this time on a Saturday. I really enjoy the cake and cookie decorating, Im glad I have discovered it in my sobriety. Like Ava, I didnt have any ambition to do much of anything but find my next drink. Those werent the days.
Stay strong, everyone. There is joy on the other side, I promise!
Byrdie

Birdie, if you don't win it's rigged i tell ya.

Hi LC, Lav and all to come.

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

Didn't have time to read yesterday, very busy.
Thanks for the thoughts and link, NS, I'll check it tout for sure. Here's another book on habits for those interested. The power of habit by Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business: Charles Duhigg: 86146381322: Amazon.com: Books
On habits;
As simple as it sounds, the missing piece has been the concept of habits, and how ridiculously important they are to the human life – every human life.
If someone asked you to define “habit”, what would you say? Until recently, I probably would have said something like “a repeating pattern of behavior, which is hard for some people to change, and easier for others. And the ability to change habits is sometimes called “willpower”.
But I was surprised to learn habits are much more than that. As it turns out, habits are little chunks of auto-pilot behavior that get burned right into your neurology –*permanently.*Once you develop a habit, you can never truly erase the program, even if you manage to deactivate it.
It gets even crazier than that: when your brain starts running one of its many habit scripts, a good part of your conscious judgement is shut off for the duration. The habit takes over, controls you until you get to the end of the script, and then dumps you out at the end. And this is not just a rare occurence – depending on who you ask, habits are in at least partially in control for between 50 and 90% of our waking hours.
This is not to say that I think my drinking problem is just a bad habit, It's more than that. Just trying to find a ways to stop that first drink from happening. The bad habit of coming home from work and grabbing a drink, it was unconscious at times, and once I got started...

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wishing you the best [MENTION=11645]Hypernova[/MENTION].

I posted this eleswhere, but here it is again. What if the media treated AL like other drugs.
Imagine if the media covered alcohol like other drugs - Vox

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hypernova - my heart goes out to you as you deal with your mother's situation. Caring for aging parents is very challenging in the best of circumstances. Like parenthood, it comes with no user manual or "how-to" guide. It seems that more of us are facing these kinds of responsibilities as people live longer, more health issues arise, and healthcare becomes more expensive. I was my mom's primary caregiver through terminal cancer and now I'm becoming dad's primary as well - he moved in with us about 6 weeks ago, which has been both helpful and stressful. I will be thinking of you and sending you strength. Please continue to post and ask for support here - I think many of us can relate to the stresses of your situation and we'd be happy to offer hugs at the least, suggestions to the extent that you want them. :hug:

Ava - So glad to hear that Mads is having such a good week! Enjoy those moments, as I know you are. Hope the wedding goes/went well too!

LC - You sound solid. Glad to hear that the nest has been helpful to you as you get through your first few days. Some really high-quality support and advice here, not to mention a great community. Can't wait to hear the "strange" way someone here is helping you

Hope everyone is having a good Sunday so far. Will check in again this evening!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good afternoon, Nesters.
I've just finished a batch of cookies for a company cookie contest next week. Wish me luck, Ive got the company logo on there, I hope that scores me some extra points! Back in the day, Id have been passed out by this time on a Saturday. I really enjoy the cake and cookie decorating, Im glad I have discovered it in my sobriety. Like Ava, I didnt have any ambition to do much of anything but find my next drink. Those werent the days.
Stay strong, everyone. There is joy on the other side, I promise!
Byrdie

Good luck Byrdie!!! Sounds like you've found an excellent way to both channel your energy and also to have fun with your AF life. A win-win if you ask me!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Monday morning check in with my fave thread.

28 days today, like the movie. Channelling Sandra Bullock. Hey Sandra, coffee sometime? Wait a minute! I'm already dating a hottie. Old habits die hard.

Have a great MAE out there y'all. :llama:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Still Sunday evening here G
Greetings to everyone!

Byrdie, I KNOW how good & pretty your cookies are - you are a cookie winner

When it comes to breaking old habits & replacing them with new, healthier ones it really helps to picture yourself as you want to be in the future. Imagine & start living as if you are 'already there'. That concept helped me a lot, something I highly recommend.

Hello to everyone checking in today & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav