Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,
I'm very tired this morning and very happy to be beginning day 4.
It was good to have a plan yesterday going into the garden party. I knew ahead of time that I wouldn't drink and didn't have to fight myself on it once I arrived. Then I was free to notice that almost nobody drank. Just a couple of people and only a glass to "cheers" to.
One of my habits, Mr. V, has also been to come home and have drink after work.. even though it's usually around 2pm, I'd just drink to avoid the painful argument that otherwise occurred in my mind. Today I'll come straight home, log on here, have a nap or make a tea..

Hi and big hugs to all of you.. see you in a few hours.
xx

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone, it has been crazy busy here all week. I have relatives staying at my house and I have been cooking non stop. It is Calgary Stampede here and so lots of people are in town. It is always a big party but there are
It's of non drinking things to do too.

I went out for lunch after the parade onFriday. It was a hot day and I was hungry. My friend ordered a cider which looked SO refreshing to me.it was all I could do not to take a sip. I sent a message to a fellow MWOer about it and that really helped me. Just talking about it and being accountable, that helps so much.

Anyway, I will check back tomorrow.
So glad I did not drink.
Xo

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
Changing Habits!
That's been going through my mind a lot today, Mr. V.. in several situations I realised I was reacting to/wanting to act on old (bad) habits. I came home straight after work and had a nap, drank a tea, had something to eat. I noticed that I felt quite restless and was in a bad mood.. now after an hour and a half, I'm coming out of it. Another habit I'm trying to get over is calling my ex to "see how he's doing". Somehow we agreed to remain friends and it makes me sad to think of not having someone who I was together with for 10 years in my life at all anymore. But on the other hand, I don't really know if I want him in my life. I know it needs time and I'm better off not having any contact for awhile. But this habit of being in touch, of calling to chat, of controlling is strong. I don't feel good when I talk to him. It's unfulfilling and I'm often even sad. So I'm not going to do it. Letting go is So difficult, though.

Nar, I'm very happy to hear you didn't drink. You have such an amazing amount of sober time under your belt. What did you end up drinking instead? Great that you had someone to contact..

Lav, I've been trying to do what you said.. I've been imagining myself a year from now. How and where I'd like to be. And I think it's helping at this point. It's very early days, but I'm also imagining the sort of relationship I'd like to have the next time I'm in one (if ever. Ha!). I have always been in very codependent relationships with men. Coming from both sides. Because I've been drinking my entire life, running from life, trying to fill an emptiness within myself, etc, etc. And now I'm finally on my own and able to take the time to figure myself out.. So I'm thinking a bit about the life I'd like to have. If I were happy in and with myself, strong, completely independent.. it's exciting to think about and it's nice to have a longer time goal. I haven't had one of those in ages.

ok. Off to the doctor. I'm riding my bike instead of taking the train to shake it up a bit!:happy2: Thanks you all!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

So glad I did not drink. Xo

So glad I drank - said no sober addict EVER :goodjob:

Lav, I've been trying to do what you said.. I've been imagining myself a year from now. How and where I'd like to be. And I think it's helping at this point.

I had 5 or 6 Day Ones on my birthday, convinced that this was the year I was really going to quit drinking entirely (or normally, ha-ha). I would try to "see" what I and my life would be like without the burden of addiction only to have that next birthday come around and find myself in worse shape than the year before. It wasn't until I'd joined MWO and saw the clear examples set by people who had "done it" that the vision of the "new me" stabilized and I could do what it took to become that person. Until then, the siren call to drink somehow made that desire seem like a stupid, impossible dream. Like I said the other day, it helped me to want to be like Byrdie. That concrete example helped make my transformation seem possible. I hope you stay connected, LC. Seeing people here who were in the same situation you are now make it out will help you remember that you can become the person you long to be. xx, NS

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

That's really true, NS. There are so many of you showing the way, living life in a way I want to be living it. And you all have been in my mind as I imagine myself a year from now.. I don't know why I didn't make that direct connection before?. But what you wrote a couple days ago hit me differently this time. I guess in the way you described it, it's the first time I could really imagine you in my position wanting to be Byrdie. And now I'm in this position wanting to be you! And Byrdie and Lav and Ava and Pav and Nar and Marylou and Jackie and Molly and Satz and Tgif and Elvis and Mario and Cowboy. Ha! Just a few off the top of my head.. There's a heck of a lot of success at MWO!

I'm off to watch a film or read for a bit and then heading to bed for a good night's sleep.. but I will check in once more before.
xx

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Well i woke at 4.30am when my alarm is set for 6am. damn i get annoyed about that but now i just appreciate what will be. no point in torturing myself trying to get back to sleep. I remember in the early days of sobriety i was so god damn tired and napped when i could as i knew being awake was part of the process in recovery. Its hard to remember how hard getting sober was but i know that i would never feel enticed to go back to day 1 again if i can avoid it, which of course i am the only one that can pour al down my throat.

LC its hard to let go of the past with regards to your ex but it will happen in time, you shared 10 years of your life together and that is never easy to say goodbye to but you will. i dont talk to my ex at all now and that is a great thing. he is someone elses responsibility now and i am happy about that but he holds a place inside of me as he gave me two beautiful children. I am not angry with him anymore about how things could have been different if he had of tried. no more drunken texts to him which is great. i do know if i ever needed him he would be there though.

well im going to work, bored waiting till its time. going to see mum this weekend as she is staying at my sons place. i have to pick up the cannabis oil for mads and start her on that. not really looking forward to it but will be lovely to see my boy.

Great work Nar on not drinking, i have those thoughts occasionally. watched Louis Theroux doc on alcoholism last night as a reminder of how sad addiction is to be in the grips of and why i dont drink. nothing wrong with giving myself reminders occasionally.

Take care x

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters near and not so far!

Day freakin 29. Oh yeah!

Hi LC. So good to read your posts and seeing you back here. re ex's and contact, i was gonna stick my fat beak in and say just don't speak with him anymore and make the break now, but maybe Ava's words on this above are more reasonable and doable. I'm sure you'll work it out, but i know this stuff is painful, and for me a big drinking trigger in early sobriety. Have a great MAE over there my friend. You rock!

You rock too Ava!

A nice chat with my main squeeze last night sorting out a little frustration over her busy workload and our dating (Yes, i wanna see her more, and i wanna see her now! lol). More sorting out my feelings, but all ok. :newhere:

Have a bewdy out there y'all.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

I just saw the news that actor Nelsan Ellis's recent death (age 39) has been linked to alcohol withdrawal. I actually don't know him, not familiar with his work I don't think, but this news is sad to me nonetheless. Al withdrawal can certainly be life-threatening, but I think this fact may not be widely known. Maybe the perception is just that it's uncomfortable or unpleasant, not that it truly can kill you.

I remember the tapering I went through before joining MWO for my 2014 quit. I was convinced, probably justifiably, that I couldn't just go cold turkey - that I would have been risking my life. I saw a dr and did a controlled taper with meds at home over the course of a week or ten days - can't exactly recall. But there was one night I laid awake wondering if I was going to die. I was terrified, but also too ashamed to call an ambulance or call a friend or family member. I was lucky, and I was probably not truly at risk of dying but I knew the potential threat was real and I was genuinely scared enough to go see a dr the very next day.

Al is poison. It kills when you use it, and it kills when you stop if you don't respect it.

So glad to never have to lie awake with that fear again. And so glad all of my fellow nesters are here safe and sound. Protect your quits as if your lives depend on them, because they do!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

I heard about that on TMZ Wagmore, how very sad such a handsome man,talented and young! I read he had been to rehab before but wanted to beat this on his own,I wish he'd have gotten some help to withdraw poor thing

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

G-man - congrats on your 28 (+1) days, hopefully better than the movie! I'm sure you and your new flame will figure out the schedule thing, but how exciting that you want more time together!

Nar and LC - great job with not drinking at the parties this past weekend. LC, I think when we're drinking we think (assume?) everyone else is too - good observation to notice that very few people were actually doing so, and even then only for toasts. Glad you had a plan and you stuck to it. Hope you enjoyed your bike ride to the Dr today!

Byrdie - well, how did the cookies go over??? Or is it too soon to know? I've never entered such a contest so am unsure how quickly these events unfold.

Lav, NS, Mr V and all - yep, changing habits is a key theme to this whole "quit" way of life. There are lots of ways to think about them, but I'd say whichever process *works for you* is the one to adopt. Very interesting to hear that bit about how our habits remain hard-wired and never go away. Not sure I like that, but if it's true then all the more reason to not become complacent!

Ava - sorry to hear you woke up so early. I hate when that happens! Hope you weren't too wiped out today.

Pauly - I thought it was petty sad about Nelsan too. Hate the stigma - wish it was easier to ask for and obtain help. Glad we've all found it here!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

The cookie contest judging is Friday. I mailed them today and they should arrive on Thursday. I will let the nest know as soon as I hear, one way or the other.
G, how exciting that you have a case for the lady. Im so glad that things are progressing nicely for you!
Nar, great job on keeping your quit intact. I hope you get to the point where you hate AL like I do. It is nothing but destructive. There is no romace in AL for me, I see that woman taking gulps from a hidden bottle in her closet, nothing sexy about that. Thats where ONE drink will take me again, NO THANKS!
I was sorry to hear about that actor dying and AL claiming another life. Sad. Stay strong everyone. AL sucks. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Things are heating up again around here. Another heat wave begins tomorrow & goes on until the weekend. My poor chickens don't cope well in extreme heat.

Great job this weekend Nar & LC. NOT drinking when others do actually empowers you, you'll notice that more & more as time goes on

We just cannot change everything about ourselves overnight, it takes time. As long as you are actively & mindfully working on creating the 'new you', everything is going to be OK!

Ava, I hate to tell you but those bizarre early morning awakenings seem to be age related. The problem is I am not ready to go to sleep earlier to make up the lost time, ha ha!
This is something I think we just have to accept, I'm not fighting it anymore.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Good luck with those cookies Byrdie

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Back from a fantastic trip - so much fun, no booze. There was one "waah" moment - hot sun and cold beer were involved. Easy to change that thought for me at this point (although I must admit that I DO find those thoughts annoying).

I read back but don't have time or memory to comment on everything. I'm always glad when NS shows up and spills her knowledge here in the nest. You have a real gift for making things sound so reasonable and matter of fact. Like you looked to Byrdie, I looked to you! I was so interested in your scientific approach to getting sober, and love reading what you send us.

I, too, am a "fake it until you make it" product. I just did EVERYTHING that the old timers told me to do - even if I thought it was a crock of s%&t. I figured that those who were successful knew what they were doing, and so much of what everyone said was the SAME! That attitude of gratitude? Ok, I'll try. Exercise and self care? Sign me up! Take it one day at a time, but know you don't drink? I'm in. Listen and read everything I can? O.k. Find a sober community? Done.

LC - You are an amazing person and I am confident you'll get this. Take care, listen, read, and try something new.

Hypernova - thanks for checking in and good luck with your mom. That IS a stressful time. Keep checking in and working your sober program - imagine dealing with all that crap drunk or hungover??

Congrats with the date #5, G. Exciting stuff. Byrdie - good luck on the cookie contest! Nar - of course you didn't drink. You don't drink (and don't forget the Stella and the Loamers have a brick just in case...)

Mr. V - thanks for that article. I had read it and meant to share but then lost it.

Good to see you pop in, Pauly, and Hi, Lav, Ann, Wags, and everyone else who I am temporarily unable to remember.

Happy Monday,
Pav

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,

I need to take a little time reading over last few days. This is a selfish quick post..... I'm celebrating EIGHT MONTHS TODAY! 🎉🎉
Thanks to all of you for sharing your amazing advise, life experiences, all the various struggles, all the successes and thanks for all of your support. No one should do this journey alone. I'm so grateful for this community. Cheers, have a great day everyone!
Roobs

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congrats on 8 months Roobs!!!:sohappy: