Re: Newbies Nest
Hi Nesters!
Congratulations on 8 months, Roobs!!
Hi Pav!
These afternoons, after work until about 4 or 5, are definitely challenging. I'm tired and cranky but at the same time happy to have more hours in the day. One difference this go around is that I'm being much more gentle with myself.. I'm not jumping right into a fitness routine or diet, I'm trying to avoid mirrors and if I do look into one I'm not putting myself down. I'm just letting it all be as it is. Just not drinking.. everything else is fine for 30 days. At least!
I mentioned the other day that I had someone helping me out a bit in a strange way. And this is kindof a long story but I want to write it down. The short version.
A couple of months ago the girls and their dad and I were going to dinner down the street and as we were walking there we passed a homeless man who was sitting on a bench in front of the grade school next door to our house (we live in the city in apt. houses). He was a mess with garbage and wine boxes around him, his pants were part way down and it looked like he'd gone to the toilet in some bushes near by. It was quite stinky and we all just sort of commented on that and how sad it was.. we don't have many homeless people living right here in the hood.. at the most, some hang out at the small park across the street. So two weeks ago Sunday I was coming home and saw him sortof squatting in the bushes next to the drive way leading into the school.. which is locked on the weekends. We made eye contact and he quickly stood up and I kept walking home. When I got home I didn't know what to do, whether or not I should call someone? I went back out to the front of the school (which isn't used as an entrance for the kids), to the bench and saw that he had his things at the top of the stairs, against the building and protected by an overhang. When he returned I went up and asked first if he spoke german and then if he needed help. He immediately apologized for the bush incident, saying that there aren't any public toilets here and he didn't have anywhere to go. (being in such a state, no restaurant will let you in around here) I asked him if he was having problems with alcohol or drugs and he said not right now.. and I knew he was telling the truth from his eyes and his voice. I told him that I lived right next door and that if he needed to use the toilet or have a shower, he could ring the bell and told him my last name. He said, I thought you looked familiar. I used to have the most delicious cake and tea at... and named the restaurant I used to have (which we closed 10 years ago) underneath my apartment. So we talked a bit more and then he came to use the restroom and have a shower. I offered him a tea and we sat in the kitchen.. my eldest daughter came home and sat with us and then her dad came by coincidently to pick something up.. I introduced him to André and they greeted eachother and recognized eachother. My ex told me later that he had seen André slowly go down hill but didn't know his story. And my eldest said she really liked him but couldn't stand his very offensive smell. In the first couple of days we got him some clothes and washed the others, he's been coming in the mornings and evenings for an hour or so to use the restroom and eat a bit of food which he stores in my fridge, he leaves his heavy bag here in the morning and picks it up in the evening and sleeps in front of the school, always up and gone by 5am, he's been on the street since April when he lost his apartment which was right around the corner from my place.. he isn't drinking and I haven't asked him about it again but he is working with an organization who are trying to find him a room in the next month or so. He's 54 and grew up in east Berlin (right near where we are now), studied Theology, has read everything, has traveled extensively, has a great sense of humour, has never asked me for anything extra, has not once complained about his situation except to say that he wants a place before winter comes, keeps his things tidy and cleans up after himself.. and twice he's come by and said, oh, we have a common acquaintance.. I met so and so in the park and we talked...and they are people we've both known forever. I don't know the whole story as far as what led him to finally living on the street. I guess it's quite complicated and happened gradually.. he doesn't anymore look like a down and out homeless guy which I think is helping him to have contact to others. And for me, I don't know exactly what it is. I guess I can see how easy and crazy it can be to end up in that situation. At the same time the fact that he's pulling himself together and not losing all hope gives me faith in the human spirit. Gives me strength as well.. like we are all in this together. And the realization that even though I felt sorry for him a couple of months ago, I'm fairly sure I also thought he was a loser/helpless cause.. and he's anything but that.
Big hugs to everyone! I'll check back in later..xx
Hi Nesters!
Congratulations on 8 months, Roobs!!
Hi Pav!
These afternoons, after work until about 4 or 5, are definitely challenging. I'm tired and cranky but at the same time happy to have more hours in the day. One difference this go around is that I'm being much more gentle with myself.. I'm not jumping right into a fitness routine or diet, I'm trying to avoid mirrors and if I do look into one I'm not putting myself down. I'm just letting it all be as it is. Just not drinking.. everything else is fine for 30 days. At least!
I mentioned the other day that I had someone helping me out a bit in a strange way. And this is kindof a long story but I want to write it down. The short version.
A couple of months ago the girls and their dad and I were going to dinner down the street and as we were walking there we passed a homeless man who was sitting on a bench in front of the grade school next door to our house (we live in the city in apt. houses). He was a mess with garbage and wine boxes around him, his pants were part way down and it looked like he'd gone to the toilet in some bushes near by. It was quite stinky and we all just sort of commented on that and how sad it was.. we don't have many homeless people living right here in the hood.. at the most, some hang out at the small park across the street. So two weeks ago Sunday I was coming home and saw him sortof squatting in the bushes next to the drive way leading into the school.. which is locked on the weekends. We made eye contact and he quickly stood up and I kept walking home. When I got home I didn't know what to do, whether or not I should call someone? I went back out to the front of the school (which isn't used as an entrance for the kids), to the bench and saw that he had his things at the top of the stairs, against the building and protected by an overhang. When he returned I went up and asked first if he spoke german and then if he needed help. He immediately apologized for the bush incident, saying that there aren't any public toilets here and he didn't have anywhere to go. (being in such a state, no restaurant will let you in around here) I asked him if he was having problems with alcohol or drugs and he said not right now.. and I knew he was telling the truth from his eyes and his voice. I told him that I lived right next door and that if he needed to use the toilet or have a shower, he could ring the bell and told him my last name. He said, I thought you looked familiar. I used to have the most delicious cake and tea at... and named the restaurant I used to have (which we closed 10 years ago) underneath my apartment. So we talked a bit more and then he came to use the restroom and have a shower. I offered him a tea and we sat in the kitchen.. my eldest daughter came home and sat with us and then her dad came by coincidently to pick something up.. I introduced him to André and they greeted eachother and recognized eachother. My ex told me later that he had seen André slowly go down hill but didn't know his story. And my eldest said she really liked him but couldn't stand his very offensive smell. In the first couple of days we got him some clothes and washed the others, he's been coming in the mornings and evenings for an hour or so to use the restroom and eat a bit of food which he stores in my fridge, he leaves his heavy bag here in the morning and picks it up in the evening and sleeps in front of the school, always up and gone by 5am, he's been on the street since April when he lost his apartment which was right around the corner from my place.. he isn't drinking and I haven't asked him about it again but he is working with an organization who are trying to find him a room in the next month or so. He's 54 and grew up in east Berlin (right near where we are now), studied Theology, has read everything, has traveled extensively, has a great sense of humour, has never asked me for anything extra, has not once complained about his situation except to say that he wants a place before winter comes, keeps his things tidy and cleans up after himself.. and twice he's come by and said, oh, we have a common acquaintance.. I met so and so in the park and we talked...and they are people we've both known forever. I don't know the whole story as far as what led him to finally living on the street. I guess it's quite complicated and happened gradually.. he doesn't anymore look like a down and out homeless guy which I think is helping him to have contact to others. And for me, I don't know exactly what it is. I guess I can see how easy and crazy it can be to end up in that situation. At the same time the fact that he's pulling himself together and not losing all hope gives me faith in the human spirit. Gives me strength as well.. like we are all in this together. And the realization that even though I felt sorry for him a couple of months ago, I'm fairly sure I also thought he was a loser/helpless cause.. and he's anything but that.
Big hugs to everyone! I'll check back in later..xx
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