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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Hi Nesters!
    Congratulations on 8 months, Roobs!!

    Hi Pav!

    These afternoons, after work until about 4 or 5, are definitely challenging. I'm tired and cranky but at the same time happy to have more hours in the day. One difference this go around is that I'm being much more gentle with myself.. I'm not jumping right into a fitness routine or diet, I'm trying to avoid mirrors and if I do look into one I'm not putting myself down. I'm just letting it all be as it is. Just not drinking.. everything else is fine for 30 days. At least!

    I mentioned the other day that I had someone helping me out a bit in a strange way. And this is kindof a long story but I want to write it down. The short version.
    A couple of months ago the girls and their dad and I were going to dinner down the street and as we were walking there we passed a homeless man who was sitting on a bench in front of the grade school next door to our house (we live in the city in apt. houses). He was a mess with garbage and wine boxes around him, his pants were part way down and it looked like he'd gone to the toilet in some bushes near by. It was quite stinky and we all just sort of commented on that and how sad it was.. we don't have many homeless people living right here in the hood.. at the most, some hang out at the small park across the street. So two weeks ago Sunday I was coming home and saw him sortof squatting in the bushes next to the drive way leading into the school.. which is locked on the weekends. We made eye contact and he quickly stood up and I kept walking home. When I got home I didn't know what to do, whether or not I should call someone? I went back out to the front of the school (which isn't used as an entrance for the kids), to the bench and saw that he had his things at the top of the stairs, against the building and protected by an overhang. When he returned I went up and asked first if he spoke german and then if he needed help. He immediately apologized for the bush incident, saying that there aren't any public toilets here and he didn't have anywhere to go. (being in such a state, no restaurant will let you in around here) I asked him if he was having problems with alcohol or drugs and he said not right now.. and I knew he was telling the truth from his eyes and his voice. I told him that I lived right next door and that if he needed to use the toilet or have a shower, he could ring the bell and told him my last name. He said, I thought you looked familiar. I used to have the most delicious cake and tea at... and named the restaurant I used to have (which we closed 10 years ago) underneath my apartment. So we talked a bit more and then he came to use the restroom and have a shower. I offered him a tea and we sat in the kitchen.. my eldest daughter came home and sat with us and then her dad came by coincidently to pick something up.. I introduced him to André and they greeted eachother and recognized eachother. My ex told me later that he had seen André slowly go down hill but didn't know his story. And my eldest said she really liked him but couldn't stand his very offensive smell. In the first couple of days we got him some clothes and washed the others, he's been coming in the mornings and evenings for an hour or so to use the restroom and eat a bit of food which he stores in my fridge, he leaves his heavy bag here in the morning and picks it up in the evening and sleeps in front of the school, always up and gone by 5am, he's been on the street since April when he lost his apartment which was right around the corner from my place.. he isn't drinking and I haven't asked him about it again but he is working with an organization who are trying to find him a room in the next month or so. He's 54 and grew up in east Berlin (right near where we are now), studied Theology, has read everything, has traveled extensively, has a great sense of humour, has never asked me for anything extra, has not once complained about his situation except to say that he wants a place before winter comes, keeps his things tidy and cleans up after himself.. and twice he's come by and said, oh, we have a common acquaintance.. I met so and so in the park and we talked...and they are people we've both known forever. I don't know the whole story as far as what led him to finally living on the street. I guess it's quite complicated and happened gradually.. he doesn't anymore look like a down and out homeless guy which I think is helping him to have contact to others. And for me, I don't know exactly what it is. I guess I can see how easy and crazy it can be to end up in that situation. At the same time the fact that he's pulling himself together and not losing all hope gives me faith in the human spirit. Gives me strength as well.. like we are all in this together. And the realization that even though I felt sorry for him a couple of months ago, I'm fairly sure I also thought he was a loser/helpless cause.. and he's anything but that.

    Big hugs to everyone! I'll check back in later..xx
    Last edited by lifechange; July 11, 2017, 11:20 AM.

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      Originally posted by Roobs View Post
      Hi everyone,

      I need to take a little time reading over last few days. This is a selfish quick post..... I'm celebrating EIGHT MONTHS TODAY! ����
      Thanks to all of you for sharing your amazing advise, life experiences, all the various struggles, all the successes and thanks for all of your support. No one should do this journey alone. I'm so grateful for this community. Cheers, have a great day everyone!
      Roobs
      CONGRATULATIONS on 8 months ROOBS!!! :yay:
      Toolbox/Toolkit

      Comment


        Re: Newbies Nest

        LC - thanks so much for sharing the experiences you've had with Andre. It sounds like you are making quite a difference in each other's lives. A lot of people probably wouldn't have stopped to give him the time of day, let alone invited into their home for a shower, conversation, meeting other family members, etc. I can see how this has been very moving - something that brings great reflection for you. Probably for him too. Sometimes a bit of kindness is all that's needed to make a huge difference. I will look forward to hearing more as you choose to share. :hug:
        Toolbox/Toolkit

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          Re: Newbies Nest

          Roobs, so PROUD of your 8 months! You should be thrilled, too, the hardest part is in the rear view! Keep up thevgreat work!
          LC, what a story! it really IS easy to see how a person could find themselves in that situation. Sometimes people just need a break and it sounds as if he is helping you as much as you are helping him. You are a good egg. Thank you for sharing that with us.

          Pav, funny about your wanting to be NS, I wanted to be Lav! I DO NOT KNOW where I would be without her patience and occasional kicks in the arse. This is an amazing place and it works...if we let it! Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie
          All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
          Tool Box
          Newbie's Nest

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            Re: Newbies Nest

            Hey nesters,

            Day 30. Wowza!

            LC what a story! :heartbeat: You rock! and so does your family and Andre.

            I wanna be like Rahul. A few similarities i relate to. Following in his footsteps!

            Have a bewdy out there all. Don't forget to give yourself some self lovin' today. L8tr g8trs.

            'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

            Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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              Re: Newbies Nest

              Hi, Nest:

              Congratulations on 8 months, Roobs!!!! Fantastic.

              LC - what a story. It took a lot of courage for you to go back and ask him into your house. I agree with Byrdie - you're a good egg.

              Night,
              Pav

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                Re: Newbies Nest

                Good evening Nesters,

                I have my oldest grandson here for the night & that always makes me happy. It also makes me grateful enough to keep my quit going forever

                Roobs, CONGRATS to you on your 8 AF months, yay!!

                LC, you must have a very kind heart, bless you. There is nothing better than reaching out to help another like that. Are there no city shelters or services available to help the homeless? Poor guy, I sure hope he is settled somewhere long before winter arrives.

                Byrdie, you tugged on my tail feathers so hard I almost went bald, haha!!! I am happy you did though, you turned out wonderfully

                G, you can be anyone you want to be & Congrats on your AF 30!!!

                Pav, good to see you & everyone else as well.
                Have a safe night in the nest everyone.

                Lav
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                  Re: Newbies Nest

                  Morning Nesters!
                  quick fly by on my way to work.. afterwards, shopping with my youngest.. then straight home to check in here.
                  wishing everyone a lovely MAE!
                  xx

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                    Re: Newbies Nest

                    Hello everyone - I guess I am ere because I am an alcoholic. Mmmm never thought it would come out that easy. Anyway I am going to stop but not sure when. It might be today, I wanted it to be today but my brother is coming around later and we always crack open a few cans and then a friend is calling around and she likes to have a drink as well - we will fire up a BBQ and listen to some tunes - annnnywwwaaaay it won't be today but I wish it was today. It will be tomorrow
                    Nice to meet you all and have a wonderful day wherever you are.

                    Comment


                      Re: Newbies Nest

                      Guitar-Man, I hope TonyNiceDay comes along with Prize Patrol 1 accolades, but please accept a few from me! WELL DONE on those 30 days, as you know, they are the hardest in the lot and they are now behind you! Keep them in the rear view! Here's your 2-Cheeked Salute from us: :butt: Great Job!

                      Welcome aboard YelloBello! I think we can all relate to the first time we used the word 'alcoholic' out loud. It is a major first step! I'm not the biggest fan of Dr. Phil, but he makes a statement that I do agree with, 'you have to name it to claim it'. Please see the link in my signature line for the Toolbox. It has tons of ideas to help you. We are so glad you are here! Byrde
                      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                      Tool Box
                      Newbie's Nest

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                        Re: Newbies Nest

                        G-Man! Congratulations on 30 days of freedom! I'm very happy for you.

                        :welcome: Yello! Nice to have you in the Nest.

                        I'm having a bit of a sketchy evening in the sense that I just feel a bit off. But like Byrdie is famous for saying, we don't usually have more than one funky day at a time. A good friend of mine called and she's a bit like me.. we both tend to think a bad day could be the end of the world and we panic and try to find solutions and and and.. these were the times I USED to drink. To shut down my mind and the anxiety. But today I'm just chilling out.. and thinking that it might help to re-introduce some light exercise into my program.

                        Off to read a bit and then I might watch a film and head to bed early.. Hope everyone is having a nice day.
                        xx

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                          Re: Newbies Nest

                          Hi Nesters near and not so far,

                          Welcome Yellobello! Keep us posted friend.

                          Thanks for the congratulations and kind words. What's on today? Gym, bag, run, late lunch with a couple of gr8 gals one of which has just had a baby boy! Take care out there. Get some self loving' in today K? K!

                          Anyone for a cycle?

                          Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.
                          Last edited by Guitarista; July 12, 2017, 05:01 PM.

                          'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                          Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                          Comment


                            Re: Newbies Nest

                            Good evening Nesters,

                            G, that was a real peppy tune, for sure, thanks
                            Glad you are doing so well.

                            LC, that's right, you keep thinking in terms of 'I used to drink'. That was then & has nothing to do with now!

                            Hello & welcome Yello Bello, glad you found us. Make yourself comfortable & stick around for a while.
                            Using the Tools in the Tool box to help you out a plan together is the best way to get started. Wishing you the best.

                            Hi there to Byrdie & everyone.
                            Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

                            Lav
                            AF since 03/26/09
                            NF since 05/19/09
                            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                            Comment


                              Re: Newbies Nest

                              Morning Nesters!
                              I am feeling so much better this morning and am so happy to be on day 7. Sitting through the discomfort, and yeah, sometimes just "getting through" the day. It's not the way I like to live.. at least that's what I always tell myself. I don't like the way it sounds, just getting through. But truth be told, what was I doing the whole time I was drinking? Even less than getting through. What I am learning, finally, is how to be a bit easier on myself. Trying not to be so judgemental, not to have such high expectations.. just taking it easy and how Gman so perfectly put it, gettin' in some self lovin'!
                              I am not going to make any big decisions (or even any medium sized) until after 30 days.. That's my first goal, as I haven't had 30 days sober in years.. Can't even remember when it was, but I do remember how I felt. And now with the experience I've collected I'm going to do things differently. First things first, though. And I'm very happy about this awesome day.
                              Plan is to go to work, come back here and check in, and a long walk or yoga, depending on how the weather is.
                              xx to you all and see you later.
                              Last edited by lifechange; July 13, 2017, 12:07 AM.

                              Comment


                                Re: Newbies Nest

                                Evening nesters

                                Welcome Yello, you have picked a great place to stop the madness of drinking, we are all alcoholics on here and are in different stages of our journey. The great thing is there is great support on here at any time you need it.

                                Belated congrats Mr G on 30 days, so many more sober ones to look forward to.

                                Roobs belated 8 months to you also, it becomes nearly the norm now to be sober. Great work.

                                LC 7 days, woo hoo to you. Keep up the great work and keep on here. I had mwo open 24/7 at work and home and still do. mwo is part of my life each and every day as was drinking but i prefer mwo.

                                Pav i wanted to be Lav, Byrd and NS, they had what i wanted and like you, i just had to put my ego aside and listen to their words of wisdom. Look at us now!

                                I am having a couple of much needed days off work. Going to visit eldest son tomorrow after the other half finishes work and my mum and cant wait. It will be nice to get away for a couple of days, if said other half can be bolted down to stay for that long. Mads is a bit unwell tonight but fingers crossed it will pass, she has been doing so well. Going to visit my daughter at work tomorrow to get my hair done (nothing like having a hairdresser or two in the fam). The wedding we are going to is in a weeks time, even if i go naked my hair will look nice. must prioritise a dress especially since it is winter here.

                                Take care x
                                AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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