Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION], your posts should make everyone want to be you - it is so clear that you love and appreciate your sober life, with all of its ups and downs :hug:
[MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION], I was so moved by your story of your friend. I hope I would be able to do what you did if I ever have the chance. You are a very kind and compassionate woman. If you can treat yourself with as much love, lack of judgement about the negative, and appreciation for the positive as you do him, you'll be fine (and it sounds like you're really trying to do that!) xx

I'm visiting family and really enjoying them. If I were still drinking I would have figured out a way to miss this time with my grandson or I would have resented him terribly. And then I would have had to live with the regrets and self-hatred. I am so grateful to be free :smile:!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC - congrats big time on 7 days!!! Glad to hear that you're feeling good about it. You're right, 30 days does in fact feel different physically, emotionally, well probably in all ways. It's a good target and seems smart to wait until after that to make any decisions. Does that include decisions about your quit? Are you planning to stay AF? I know it might be part of what you're waiting to decide later - just curious about what you've got in the back of your mind. I know for me personally, I set targets of 30 days and similar at the beginning but I also knew my bigger goal had to be a forever quit - it was just far to big to frame it in that way at the beginning.

Ava - I hope you have a wonderful few days away from work visiting with your son. Sorry to hear about Mads though - does she go with you on these visits? I hope she bounces back right away!

Yello - welcome to MWO and to the nest. Posting here is a great first step. I'll look forward to seeing you back with an update - we're here to support you!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

G! Sorry I missed - congratulations on your 30 days. Keep on keepin' on.

LC - Way to go on your 7 days, and for not drinking. "Gee, I really wish I had those drinks last night," said no person ever. Great on you for staying strong.

Ava - Have a nice visit - I just had two days off work and it was just what the doctor ordered. Of course, the work was all there when I got back, but at least I unplugged from thinking about it for a few days.

NS - Enjoy your family. I know what you mean by disconnecting through alcohol.

My son had a trip to the ER last night - bad ankle sprain. I was grateful that at 9:30 at night I was in great condition to drive him there and to take care of him. Thank goodness I don't drink!

Happy Thursday,
Pav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations on 7 days LC! You are raaawkin it.

Big waves to y'all and thanks for the 30 day congrats.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well done, LC. Here's your prize, A FULL Moon! :butt: the hard part is behind you!
Look at all the success we are having here in the nest! Keep up the great work, eva'body! Byrdie

[Marylou123]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC -- Congratulations on your 7 days; way to go. Your kindness and compassion is inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Incredibly hot & humid still in Lav-land but I've managed to keep everyone alive so far, ha ha! This extreme weather always brings the threat of strong storms. There was a tornado spotted in a county a little north of here, geez.

LC, Congrats on your 7 AF days! Hang on to them with everything you've got :welldone:

Pav, hope your son is OK. Yes, it is awesome to be alert & present at all hours of the day in case of an emergency! I hope he feels better soon.

Ava, enjoy your time off & your trip! I hope Mads is better too.

Well, my grandson left late this morning after his two night stay. He's an awesome friend & I just love having him here. As a matter of fact he will be returning tomorrow evening for another 2 night stay, I'm happy
Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav - hope your son is ok, and SO glad you were sober and ready to do the ER run! Yep, I've been grateful for that same sober availability myself, and it was a very "real" reminder of how much better it is to not drink.

Lav - it's so fun hearing you rave about your grandson and how much you enjoy him. Thanks for sharing that joy!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!
Thank you for the well wishes yesterday!
This morning while I was brushing my teeth, it was the first time in a long time that I didn't mind my reflection in the mirror.. I know it takes a lot of time to change habits and our ways of thinking. But today I really felt like I'm on my way. And getting the poison out of my system has, of course, helped my skin and my eyes and the way I hold and see myself. Wags, you asked, and whether or not I'll drink again is not one of things I will reconsider after 30 days! That is completely off the table and my goal is to do everything and anything I have to NOT to drink.. or like you said in an earlier post, I will follow all of the other options out there. Drinking is one of a million things to do and I am choosing not to do it anymore. I am grateful right now that I have those past days behind me, as I wasn't at all sure I could do it again. And I was also not sure I really wanted to. But following the advice of all you awesome people, I decided to just give it another go. I'm happy I did. These are the early days and I think the next week or two tend to be fairly easy for me.. if I get past the first week, it's around the fourth that usually gets me reconsidering whether or not I might try to be a normal drinker again.. just one or two and just today. I have often given up just before 30 days or 4 weeks.. and I definitely won't do that this time. That's why I said I won't make ANY decisions or knee jerk reactions before those 30 days are up. I only have one goal and one thing to concentrate on and that is doing what I have to do to stay sober.

Ava, good for you for taking some time off! A break from the Village Idiot sounds like just what you needed. :hug: to you and Mads and a lovely visit with the family!
Pav, thank you for your support! And, yes, thank goodness you could be there for your son. I'm still cringing at my last pass out when the girls were here. It was terrible. My younger daughter (now already 12) said, after I had to ask her to recount the whole evening which included her not being able to wake me and finally heading off to bed at 10, "mama, I didn't try so hard to wake you up 'cause I thought you probably needed the sleep.. it's good that I let you sleep, right?".. I've apologized, but I know words are just words and the only way to really make it right is not to let it happen ever again. To be fully present for them.
God, I don't want to go there again.

So here's to taking care of ourselves, being gentle and loving with ourselves and dealing with life head on.. not forgetting to step back and take a break/breath when necessary!
Hugs to you all and wishing you a lovely day..
xx

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

So I came home right after work, checked in here and had a nap.. then I met a new friend for coffee.. it was so funny because I was quite nervous. We have known each other for a long time and have met up once or twice (always in drinking situations) and she's an amazing story teller and very funny.. and I'm more quiet and can't tell a joke to save my life (I can't ever remember the punch line!). I thought she'd find me boring. But we had a really nice time and found that we have horses in common as well as food.. so we're heading to a Western-style competition tomorrow which will be interesting, to say the least. German Cowboys..

Toward the end of work, it crossed my mind to pick up a bottle of Prosecco..as that's what I always used to do. Crazy, I drank every day so I didn't really ever think of Friday as being a ticket to Boozeville.. But my mind tried to sell it to me today. Mostly I was just surprised as I didn't expect it to try so soon. I just shook my head and distracted myself. I don't want to blow my own horn, but I am getting pretty good (at least better) at the distraction game. I'm using it with these stupid relationships I'm moving on from as well.. and it works! When these unpleasant thoughts/people come to mind I think of something pleasant.. and the more I move away from them, the more pleasant experiences I have. And I'm starting to dream again, which is so nice.. feeling hope for the future.. Unstuck!

Hugs and more hugs to you all!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Way to go, LC! My conditioned response to the thought of buying wine or having a drink was a quick "I don't drink". After awhile, the thought to drink and my response were almost simultaneous - freeing me from that awful should I / shouldn't I internal battle.

I was thinking about the day at a time vs 30 days vs forever ways of approaching this that you guys were discussing. I don't think they are mutually exclusive.

I remember early on in my quit reading the quote about driving in the fog with headlights on. All you can see is the 20 or 30 feet of road in front of you at any moment -- but you can make the whole trip that way, one section of road at a time. And just like driving in those conditions is challenging, so are those first 30 days AF. I didn't ever feel like I'd made it out of the fog that first month and it was a matter of getting through each day and sometimes each evening or hour. 30 days might be a good time to reassess and make sure you're committed to the trip you've planned and have everything you need. And like you mentioned, it might be a good time to get a spare tire and some flares if you're not feeling you've got everything you need on board.

I think the analogy can be extended -- our whole AF life is like a cross-country drive. We know we want to make it from one coast to the other: the goal is set. Sometimes the weather will be great and roads will be clear and not drinking isn't even a problem. But there will be the occasional stress of fog or rain where even though we know where we're heading, we have to just deal with the bit in front of us that we can see. In this rather stretched analogy, the first part of the trip has pretty frequent storms but as we get further along, they occur less often. Eventually, they pop up rarely and randomly and we think we've got it beat but out of nowhere, a terrible storm can develop that makes us unable to see very much. But as long as we remember to turn on the headlights and deal only with what we can see in front of us, we can keep heading forward on the road we've chosen.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola Nesters near and not so far.

Pav, how's the young fella? Hope Mads is comfortable Ava.

Like that cross country drive analogy Sugarbabe. Even when it's foggy, or when a storm inevitably hits us, we can still make it through if we just keep going and take it bit by bit and break it down if we have to. One day or hour at a time.

Great work LC. I had a couple of wobbly moments last couple of weeks which were romance related and totally fictionalised, total speculation, and made up in my head. Zero evidence to support my doomsday thoughts! Not sure if the fact i'm taking AB helped me avoid turning to booze, but i reckon it helped. Which brings me to question my thought/feeling management process and skills. They need some practice, so back to meditation. My morning routine has been some quick simple yoga (sun salutations), gym, run, but have been neglecting meditation. I see the power in it, so back to it here this morning starting with daily 5 minute sessions with no stress or expectations. Only rule - set the timer for 5 mins and breathe G man, just breathe.

Must be day 33. The weekend ain't no ticket to no freakin boozeville see?

Have a bewdy!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks, Mr G. I've been thinking about it some more as I lie here trying to take a nap after getting up much, much too early this morning. I am a terrible napper!

I like to have images that I can bring to mind when I'm in any kind of a struggle. I remember in the early AF days sometimes picturing myself driving in a car in the fog and looking out at nothing but mist and a cone off light. That image that could help me get through whatever craving I was experiencing because I could also see that the breakthrough when the fog lifts would come. Everything passes if you give it time.

Maybe we could think of slips or choices to drink or whatever a person wants to call them as flat tires or detours. Some are minor and some might be major – they temporarily take us off the road we were planning to travel, and might mess up our timing, but they don't at all have to mean that we've changed our ultimate destination. And even though they are really disappointing, they don't take away whatever distance we have traveled already. We have those sober miles behind us and nothing takes those away.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

With MWO as the tow truck! :happy2:

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

In addition to being unable to nap, I had decided I was also one of those people who couldn't meditate or be mindful or present in the moment or any of those things that are supposed to bring us peace and contentment. Until I found this: https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Knitt.../dp/B002NPCV9S :smile: