Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!
Just a quick fly back on my way to work.. the longest and most stressful day of the week. But I'm well rested and am feeling quite positive.
Will check in later to see how you're all doing! xx

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

So Andre hasn't shown up this morning. Every morning for the past 2 weeks he's been here at 5:45 or 6:00 on the dot, whichever time we've agreed on, without having a watch or a phone. Yesterday the son of the owner of the house he was evicted from came by the park to appologize to him once again for what his mother had done.. he also gave him 200 euros. When he came by last night I thought I smelled light alcohol on his breath but he wasn't acting differently so I let it go. I'm quite sure that if he doesn't show up this a.m. it's because he was drinking. Which would be such a shame and I hope that's not the case.. though I'm afraid it probably is. I hope nothing has happened to him. Anyway, we all know with so much personal experience that we can only help those who want to help themselves. Sad but true.
:hug: I'm so glad we all have eachother here..

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi again!!
Taking a brief break from work.. like most things I dread/have dreaded today hasn't been half bad. You'd think I'd learn that at some point.. at least I took it pretty easy and didn't create a full on self induced panic. That's something new..
Andre ended up coming just after I wrote. It's the end of the school year here and the kids spent the night in the school building, basically singing and dancing the whole night... so he couldn't fall asleep until late. It didn't seem like he'd been drinking, which was a relief. Though I think I'm ok with and ready for anything.

ok. time to go back. I've already announced to the whole gang that I'm not drinking tonight.. and funny, but even our young guest chef (who is responsible for the menu tomorrow) said, when I asked him what time he was coming in the morning, he'd be there at 7! That he isn't going to drink because whenever he does it affects him so negatively. Seems like a lot of the people don't drink much.. I was one of the huge exceptions. Every single time I drink I over-do it.

xx will check in later tonight..

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

....as long as I dont touch it, I am fine.

Yep, that's the truth for me too!!! And it's almost amazing how easy that very simple principle makes all of this.

Thanks everyone for your encouragement as I near the one year milestone. Honestly, it's been easier than I expected, although that doesn't mean I haven't had to work my plan and use my tools - I definitely have! My first goal was 30 days, then I jumped it up to 100, and then I wanted to beat my previous quit which was somewhere around 150 days (I'd have to go back and look), but once I crossed those lines, I set my sights on a year. But the focus changed - it was no longer a goal as a target, like "I want to stay AF that long." Instead, somewhere along the line, my perspective truly changed to this being forever - an AF path for the rest of my life - and I viewed one year as something I would reach, pass, and then watch in my rear view mirror (there's that great analogy again!). I don't see it as a finish line in any sort of way, but I definitely see it as a place to celebrate as I breeze right on by. Not sure if I'm making sense.

Anyway, just a few more days now - I'm so excited!!!

In answer to your questions, I have no specific method of celebrating planned but I will definitely spend a few moments doing a happy dance and reflecting on my accomplishment. And I know one thing for sure - there will be NO AL INVOLVED in this celebration. Cuz, you know, I don't drink

[Struggles 106]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey LC-I get it about the "over-doing". So crazy. As I've said that last time scared the hell out of me--it was like being TOTALLY out of control, careening around IN A CAR! DRIVING!
I never intended to do that; I never intended to put a lot of people in harm's way. Dangerous dangerous shit...I refuse to ever be that person again.

I realized this morning that after some sober time of course there is greater mental acuity and clarity, but also there is more time for productive thinking
since the brain is not consumed with shame, regret, guilt etc etc-
The thought of a hangover makes me gag. My drinking days are over. Not sad at all--it's nice to see that it was not "fun"--not by a long shot


Ann

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters!

Nice to see you pop into the nest Ann. I'm having greater mental acr.......acu.......akyu........acwoo......acuity and clarity too these days. Happy Humpin' Hallelujah's! Wintery morning here in Oz as many of yiz swelter up north. Hope all are good.

Git some self lovin' in today. Why? Because you deserve it!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

a cold wet day here and mads not well so going to the vets. i feel so good in myself that i can do this now and be here for her sober. god i would hate to imagine drowning my sorrows in sadness when i can and am here for her totally.

Wags, i am not sure how the cannabis works but my son makes it for patients here as its still illegal to grow or help people. apparently if you heat the oil to a certain temperature then the thc is activated and she will get "stoned". i have it in drops to give to her which i will start this weekend. he has helped a lot of people and i am very proud of him. He did help a 9 year old with brain tumours who was diagnosed at 4 and given 6 months to live. his parents used the oil and put him on an all natural diet. sadly he died in january of this year but they and my son know they did all they could to help. if you want more info, pm me and i will ask him and get him to email you. he talks about it and of course i go "yes honey".

Cant wait either to celebrate with you also Wags, it truly is a sense of freedom to feel and know you are on the path to a great life. I remember when i was realising i may have a slight drinking problem, swaying in front of my son drunk and his friends and asking if he had any al. What was i thinking! oh where was that next drink coming from was what i was thinking! As each day, week, month goes on the pull subsides to barely a whisper at times but as Byrd says "we are what we are" and we still have to be vigilant. So proud of you.

Lav, i hope you have recuperaed from your wasp bite. i remember when the kids were young the boys found a wasp nest and boys being boys! it was awful for me and them, they are horrible nasty creatures.

LC glad Andre is ok and its wonderful how you are helping him. Maybe he came into your life at this time for a reason as i am sure you came into his. Focusing on anything other than al is always a good thing. I hope the day went well for you and you have a few stories to tell.

Take care x

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, I understand totally what you mean about there being no finish line in this race. I am proudly marking the years, too and like you, Ann, Im so glad to be done with all that crap. AL was causing nothing but heartache and trouble and I was too addicted to see it. I HAD to quit and thank goodness had the support to STAY quit. Staying sober is 1000 times easier than quitting. Hang in everyone! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Is it normal to be popping out in random welts all over when I was only stung in my finger? Geez, this is annoying but I'll live, ha ha!!

LC, glad your friend seems to be OK. I hope he can settle down somewhere & begin again. Good thing you were in the right place at the right time

Ava, I hope Mads is doing OK. :hug:

Hi there G!

Wags, when exactly is your 1 year anniversary? I need to get a cake order in with Byrdie, Lol
You hear that Byrdie???

Ann, I swear it took me a full year AF before I felt like I was firing on all cylinders. Hang in there & the fog will clear

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Friends!

I'm thinking it must be 4 days until Wags (we all!) celebrates 1 year of Freedom! Is that right? On Sunday?
I love this as well.. "...as long as I dont touch it, I am fine", Byrdie. It is the truth.

I had kindof a stupid thing happen yesterday afternoon. We were getting everything ready for the party (Mexican theme.. tacos and everything that goes along with them) and we make everything from scratch so there was lots of tasting going on, including in prepping for lunch today. The guest chef came up to me with a spoon and asked me to try and I did without asking what it was and because we never have alcohol in the kitchen (unless its wine whichh is obvious) it didn't cross my mind for a second that it might be the base for a cocktail.. which it was. And tequila, no less. It pissed me off.. and made me realise that I need to come up with a story as to why I NEVER drink. I had told everyone I wouldn't be drinking at the party.. but that doesn't mean that I DON'T drink ever. There have been a few times I've wanted to confide in the woman I run the kitchen with.. we're very close, she almost never drinks and she knows that if I drink I ALWAYS over do it. I guess the reason I haven't yet is I that I don't want it to be an issue.. I'd rather just stay on my path, and have it obvious at some point that my life/health/relationships are so much better without drinking that there's no reason for me to drink. Goes along with the positive thinking.. Not that I can't drink but that I don't want to drink.. None of the girls who are normally in the kitchen would have thought to ask anyone to taste something almost 100% alcohol at 4pm... without at least a warning.

Anyway, then I noticed that the chef guy didn't drink at all and almost seemed to run from alcohol. He's 33 and said that when he was younger he used to drink a lot but now if/when he does he's useless.. and finds drinking to be a complete waste of time. He was quite adamant about it and I noticed later that when my colleague offered him a small glass of an elderflower sparkling wine we'd made, he sort of did run. So I'm thinking he probably has a problem if he drinks as well..

As long as I don't drink it, I don't have a problem!

ok. wanted to respond to some of the posts but I'll have to do that later as I'm now a bit late on the start up! Last day of school here, which is exciting..
Wishing you all a lovely day..:hug:

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, I have a contingency in my PLAN for accidently taking a sip of a drink that someone gives me that has AL in it or by some other unintential way....Spit it out. I never would have thought something would come at me in a spoon, DANG, is nothing sacred? Sounds as if the chef is one of us....I'm sorry that happened to you, but don't let it derail you. Thank you for reminding me to always ASK what's in it beforehand. YIKES! Byrdie

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ha! Byrdie, I almost did spit it out but it would have splattered many things that shouldn't have had tequila or grapefruit juice or my spit in them!
But it was quite presumptuous of him to assume I'd want to drink/try it. Now I know.. and will be more aware. And no, it won't derail me.
I told them all today that I had a bad headache (which I really did, though most likely due to the weather pressure) most likely because of that spoonful..

Anyway, the stress of the 3 days is behind me and it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd anticipated..

Ava, I hope Mads gets some relief from the oil..So difficult to have a pet suffering. :hug: That sounds like great work your son is doing.. good for him. I know a few people who get real pain/anxiety relief from medical marijuana..

Lav, hope you're feeling completely back to normal today.. void of pain and welts. I've not heard of that before, but I do know the first stings of the season are the most poisonous. I'm not looking forward to the usual attack we get here in August.. How are the chickens doing?

Hi to everyone stopping in/flying by today..

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Greats posts. Like you Byrdie, I was SO AFRAID to quit. I was worried that I wouldn't have fun, couldn't enjoy things, etc. What a crock?! I actually feel like a physical weight is lifted from my shoulders. I'm so excited to celebrate your freedom with you, Wags!

Last night I went to dinner with my husband and son - and husband didn't order alcohol. I thought about it later - I don't think I EVER went to dinner with my parents when they didn't drink, unless they were taking me to McDonald's or something on their way out. I can't remember once when I was young. Now my mom takes time off from time to time, but mostly they still have their 6pm cocktails. I never thought there even could be a life without alcohol.

LC - Once when we were on a big family vacation I took a sip of my husband's coffee. He had put some bourbon in it!!! (vacation) Thankfully, I WAS able to spit it out before I drank it, but now I NEVER take a sip of anything without asking. FFS!

Ava - I hope Mads is ok. I have heard a lot of cannabis pain relief success stories.

Happy Hump Day, All.

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - your welts sounds like you might be gradually developing an allergy to the stings. From what I've learned in medical first responder training, some people don't start off as allergic to bee/wasp stings but their symptoms get progressively worse each time they get stung. Have you been stung many times over the course of your life? It might be something to just mention the next time you see your Dr, because anaphylactic shock is extremely serious and you'd want to know if your tending in that direction.

And yes, LC is right, my one-year celebration is coming up or Sunday. Or maybe Monday? I guess it depends on when I actually get to celebrate this milestone. Sunday will be Day 365, and Monday is the date (July 24) that was my original Day One - my quit day. Hmmm... I think I'll celebrate both! Byrdie - get that cake ready!!!


Pav & Byrdie - I was afraid to quit for the same reasons. Well, that and I was afraid to lose my "crutch" that helped ease social situations. I drank a LOT through high school and I think as a result I never developed a true comfort with being at parties, small talk, etc without a drink in my hand and some lowered inhibitions in my head. It's funny, because I'm actually quite comfortable teaching or presenting to big groups - that's been the majority of my career life - but the banal sort of chit chat with people in a party-type setting I really kinda hate. Some of the few times I've been tempted to drink, or rather that the notion that I'd like to have a drink has crossed my mind over the past year, has been when I've wanted/needed a little "courage" or lowered inhibitions heading into some sort of social interaction. I wish I could figure out a non-al way to achieve the same ease that al seemed to bring. I say "seemed" cuz I'm pretty sure it was a lie, but it was a lie that worked for me over and over again.


LC - that's horrible that the chef asked you taste something with tequila in a spoon! I wouldn't have suspected it either. I do think that's very presumptuous, especially with something like tequila that many people either do NOT like or cannot tolerate. Yep, sounds like a good idea to broaden your "story" to not drinking at all. Many of us have used vague "health reasons" as our excuse if we felt we needed one - which is the truth, just perhaps not the full and detailed truth.

Ava - So sorry to hear that Mads isn't doing well - I hope the vet is able to bring her some relief. And yes - I'm very interested in the work your son is doing with the oils, and I think my cousin recently diagnosed with brain cancer might be too. I will check with her, and if she's game I'll pm my email address to you. Actually, I might just send it to you anyway. I've been exploring CBD oils and other products as a possible pain reliever for myself ever since my car accident back in Feb. I have a medical marijuana card here in my state. I rarely smoke it - not really my thing for whatever reason - but I've experimented with various topicals like oils and balms, and I do have some flower that is high CBD, close to zero THC and I'll use that when I'm desperate. There's no "high" with such products, just the relief of pain. I hate hate hate opioid meds and won't take them, but sometimes the pain is really bad and nothing brings relief.

Ok, gotta run for now but will check in later, probably this evening. Have a great MAE everyone!!!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Looking forward to celebrating with ya Wags. Wowza! So cool.

Glad you survived the tequila spoon ambush LC! I'm off to a mexican bar with the new woman friday, so gawd knows what's waiting in the bushes to ambush me in the form of sauces, dressings etc. Although, funny how i don't mind kissing my date's lips whether she's slugged a vino or not. :heartbeat:

Hope your young bloke's doing well Pav. Hope Mads is ok there Ava. Lav, Walloping wasp welts! Hope you're ok.

take it easy out there. Life is good here. Why? Because of one simple thing i did. I removed booze totally and fully from my life. Not easy, but Simple.