Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Friday, Nesters!
Hope everyone has his/her PLAN in place for the weekend ahead. It's only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille! :rara:
Linda, have a good time at the wedding tomorrow...you are so right, with that big break between the ceremony and reception, back in the day, that would have been all I needed to be sideways. I always carried a stash of booze in a hairspray bottle in my purse for emergencies. Glad no one ever had a HAIRSPRAY emergency, yikes.
Struggles, great job on those 14 weeks....it only continues to get better and MORE eye opening! Very proud of you
Keep up the fight, everyone. Our lives ARE worth it! Byrdie

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

I've got a plan, Byrdie!
Not so much of what I'm going to do, because it's Summer and we're foot loose and fancy free! But I do know that I won't drink no matter what and no matter who. And that if I'm in any way feeling weak or tempted when I'm out and about, my first plan of action is to come here and check in with you all. It's been doing me well so far. If I'm in a place where I can't (the swimming pool, or who knows where) I'll go inwards and remind myself of why my life is so much better sober. I've been carrying around water with tons of lemon which helps to take my mind off al.. or anything for that matter!

Have a great time at the wedding, Ava..
hugs to you all and see you again in a bit..
My favourite place atm to spend friday evening!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We're still dealing with extreme heat & humidity here, not fun. Plus it makes a whole lot of extra work trying to keep my feathered friends cool enough with ice water & frozen treats

Ava, enjoy the wedding this weekend in your snazzy new outfit

LC, all of the kids here have mandatory reading lists for the summer so they have to read, like it or not, ha ha! I'm sure your daughter will find something interesting sooner or later - keep trying! Glad you are doing well

Pauly, let's get you going again because I think you really want to be AF :hug:

Hi to Byrdie, Mr V, Nora, Ann & everyone. Let's all have a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

I just did something very difficult (for me it was) and I'm fairly sure that's one reason Andre has come into my life. I think I mentioned that he got some money from the son of the woman who (wrongly) evicted him from his flat. Since then (tuesday, i think) he's been drinking during the day and when he shows up here in the evening he's not super drunk, but it is noticeable.. repeating stories (which I'm highly allergic to with people who've been drinking), not taking as good care of himself, not being proactive with his apartment search, etc. I put up with it a couple of days, thinking, ok, if I had to live on the street I'd probably drink as well. I can definitely understand wanting to escape from problems! But I felt myself becoming slowly annoyed. This morning I asked him if he really wanted to find a flat/room or if he's ok in his situation as it is now.. he said no, he wants to find a place. Then I said that I noticed that since he's had money he's been drinking and that I know from experience that that weakens the mind, body, motivation.. and that if he wants a place to live he has to be proactive and able to accept help from others..and use the resources. I said that I'm very happy to have him here and that I really like him as a human being.. not just as someone to help out during times of trouble.. but that his coming by twice a day can't go on forever.. I told him that for the time being, even if he does drink, he can still come by and use the bathroom and have something to eat but that I won't be able to sit and talk with him because it gets on my nerves and makes me resentful. which I don't want. In the beginning I sort of set a time limit of 6 weeks in my mind and now it's been 3. As he left he thanked me for being honest with him. I also asked him if we was an addict or if he just drank sometimes.. and he said he only drank when he felt the sky was falling down on him. And I have to say, I believe him. Or he's a very functional alcoholic.. as a homeless person. I have no idea. All I know is that I made a commitment to help him out and I will continue as long as he tries to help himself or just a couple more weeks if he doesn't help himself. Which would be very sad.. but I know from personal experience that we can't be helped if we don't want to help ourselves. He said that as well.. he asked me if I knew what "helper syndrome" is.. I said yes, I could guess. He said that's what he has.. he can help others but not himself. I said, yeah, but it's not too late to learn and in the moment that's the only job he has. I could relate.. and having him here is pushing me to set boundaries, to look out for myself and to confront someone honestly. Which might sound weird.. but for me it makes sense. Let's see.

We have gorgeous weather today and I'm just waiting for the girls to wake up..

I hope everyone has a relaxing weekend.
I'm sure I'll be checking in often.
xx

[YelloBello]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone

I can relate to your story Lifechange (excellent name) I am a very functional alcoholic with a great paying job but I never have money due to spending it on drink, I get paid on the 5th of next month and last night while deink had to text my brother for a loan again
It is true what you say, drink makes me demotivated.
Drink made me alone.
Lost my family and home 8 years ago and still didn't stop drinking.
Now I stop.
Drink made me lose friends
Now I stop
Drink makes me poor
Now I stop
Drink makes me write stupid emails and texts
Now I stop
Drink makes me do and say stupid things
Now I stop
Drink is killing me
Now I stop
Now I stop
Now I stop
Drink makes me forget God, Life, Love
Now I stop
Drink makes me lose self respect
Now I return to life.
Just bought a big organic salad for the price of two pints
Being healthy motivates me
Now I start
Start the first day of the rest of my life
Going home now to make my salad
Then clean my apartment
Then take a walk on this beautiful summers day
What a say to pick to start my life
Now I start.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Put me in line to order NoSugar's book! (I want a signed copy, please...) I would agree that my need for external approval helped me get and stay sober at first - once I committed to others, I couldn't let them down. And, also, now that I don't drink, I seem to need that approval much less.

LC - that's an interesting turn of events. Every person's story has so many layers...

Pauly - What can we do to help? Thinking about you - today is as good as any other day...

Lav, hope the itching stopped. Ava, hope the wedding was fun (but that IS a long time between ceremony and party...)

Happy Saturday, Nest.

Pav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi again, Nesters!
Told you I'd be hanging out here a lot today!:happy2:

Welcome to the Nest, Yello! You've picked a good place and have chosen a great day to start.. today. All of us here can understand how you feel and what you've been through... our stories are similar. The "oldies" here recommend getting a month of sobriety under your belt to see what it feels like to have a mind and body free of alcohol.. It isn't forever.. which helped me in the beginning. And there's a lot of support here, advice, Tools to put into use. Good to have you here..

here's a link to the Toolbox https://www.mywayout.org/community/m...-tool-box.html

Hi Pav!

So I have to say that after 16 days it's getting easier. It already was a bit before.. but I feel like my mind is beginning to change. Decisions are becoming easier to make, I'm slowly beginning to trust myself..and take better care of myself by setting boundaries. I've had a couple of opportunities to practice and I don't have regrets about how I handled those situations.. before I might have been afraid of hurting feelings. I've always put everyone and their brother in front of myself and now I'm being more selective! At least 3 people have taken a back seat.. and it's doing me good. It isn't necessary to be friends with everyone and it isn't necessary for everyone to like/love us, right?

Pauly, I've been thinking of you a lot..like the others have said, let us know how we can help. You've helped me a lot in the past..:hug:

Ok. Hello to all of you lovelies.. Looking forward to an Unhung Sunday.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Keep it going LC. Self care, self lovin' and looking after us is important. When we are good, so is everyone around us. Thinking of you, your family, and Andre this weekend.

Thinking of you and your family Pauly.

Nesters. there ain't no ticket to no boozeville here see? I tell yiz, that event was cancelled due to lack of interest.

Date night friday and into the whole of saturday was mighty fine. Wowza! Take it easy out there.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome back, Yello, what a womderful, life affirming post. It is a decision we make.....just do it and dont look back! We are so glad you're here.
LC, great to see you. It is a fine line between being supportive and enabling...when you find it, let me know! Very proud of you for respecting your boundaries, I have that very same issue! I will live vicariously thru you.
Hope everyone is having an easy day! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Still itching but it could be worse - I guess, ha ha!
I just had a rip roaring 5 hours of fun with my grandsons here, oh boy! A 6 & an 8 1/2 year old can make SO MUCH noise. Still way too hot here the heat wave continues.

LC, I think what you did with Andre was honest & brave & smart (all at the same time)
I really hope he shapes up for his sake & for yours as well. You have been very kind to him. I am glad you are feeling clearer & stronger!

Yello, wishinh you the very best as you begin your AF journey. Please let us know how you are doing!

Hello to Byrdie, Pav, G & everyone.
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

well what a drink fest the wedding was. as an eagle eye alcoholic i did not see many people not drinking, most were pissed before the reception as a 2 1/2 wait for that. it was lovely to spend time with the others children and meet his close family in happier circumstances. noticed a few heavy drinkers, i know it was much easier for me to blend in and drink at parties without worrying. the other had 3 or 4 beers at the ceremony and then stopped, a normal drinker, as i said to him that would never have been me, i would have been on a fast train to being paralytic. it was a lovely day albeit freezing cold.

LC boundaries are good as at the end of the day YOU are the priority for now, later on we learn to prioritise what we want and need to do and put others first but i do know my sobriety is always number one in my life but it is number one alongside my children. I dont feel torn or guilty with my life now,i am who i am and proud of what i have achieved.

On Friday a lovely man (inpatient) and an alcoholic came in for a test, 53, my age and terminal with liver issues + many more. his notes say he realises he is going to die, he is being tube fed, having multiple seizures and is frail and gaunt. I thought to myself, i am so lucky, why could i beat this f*cking addiction and he cant. He has a wife and children, it was beyond sad. For some reason we have had a spate of patients with al related issues at present, most of whom have died. As byrd says "i hate alcohol" witsh a vengeance.

Welcome Yello. That was my list when i drank and i promised myself time and time again the madness had to stop. Keep on here and be accountable. Life is way better sober.

Well my daughter is visiting for lunch soon and im still in my pjs so best get motivated. feeling a cold coming on.

take care x

[Lizann]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION] I too had 2 patients this past week that have terminal liver issues. So sad and sobering at the same time. Both have been sober for some time now, but the damage is done.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags!!! Today is your 1 year anniversary! Congratulations and a wonderful day celebrating.. Thank you for your wisdom, support and for sharing your experiences here in the Nest. You've helped me so much..:love:

[YelloBello]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning lovely nesters!

It's so nice waking up and reading all your stories. I have decided to make this part of my daily routine while on my new journey, I used to think I could do this on my own, that I don't need any help...fat lot of good that did me, I find it exhilarating to find so much support here, it gives me further incentive to do this!

Day 1 is over, that's the big one hey! Cause it was actually very easy, except for the craving from time to time which I was able to manage by drinking ginger tea, I had a very nice night! When 10 pm came I felt I had reached a milestone as the off licence closes at that time. This was when I knew I am serious about my decision.

I spent the night listening to my favourite teacher, Echart Tolle, and fell into a wonderful peaceful sleep and am awake this morning to a brand new, lean fresh and wonderful world, I feel so clear headed and I feel my body is alive, I feel every sensation in my body and I am no longer only in my head. Each breath I take I feel it filling my whole body and it feels wonderful and simple and clean.

To think that it was this experience I was seeking within substances only to now realise that which I was seeking is found without them is an awakening for me.

I am delighted to have passed day 1 and I am delighted to have met you all, I look forward to reading your stories.

Thank you everyone and have a lovely alcohol free fresh clean day.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

WAGS, well one year, 365 days and nights sober. A huge hug and congratulations on your big 1st birthday. Wish i was there to celebrate with you as it really is a very special day. Much love for you today.

Yello great work on day 1, we have all been there and done that. You will learn valuable information and learning tools/skills on mwo. keep reading and asking questions.