Newbies Nest

[Marylou123]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags - you rock!! Happy one year - thank you so much for your wonderful contributions to the nest! Have a delightful day.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello..
just a little check in this lovely Sunday afternoon, as I'm feeling a bit of a pull. I think it's because I'm somewhat restless.. and it's my former witching hour. I'd usually have gone to buy a beer at the shop down the road, convincing myself I'd just have one out on the balcony. I now know there is no such thing as just one.. I'll be happy when sobriety is so normal to me that drinking doesn't even come to mind. For now I'm drinking a sparkling water with ice cubes and lots of lime. I know that resisting now is exactly what I need to do. More than feeling sick and terrible hangovers, it's the dreaded mindf*** that comes with drinking that's helping to keep me on track this time. Hope you're all having a good and (at least fairly) easy day. xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, it is my pleasure to comgratulate you on ONE YEAR! In our world, it doesnt get much bigger than this...well done and THANK YOU for all you do here in the nest, always a voice of reason, even in adversity. I hope you know how much we love and respect you. Keep up the great work. :celebrate:

Hello, Yello. Getting Day 1 behind you is huge! We give prizes here so get yourself to a week and see what we award! GREAT GOING!

I have an update on Lil Bit. I read it on FB and she has a Go Fund Me campaign. She has metastatic breast cancer and several aggresive tumors in her brain. It is heart wrenching story and she has insurance but they are disputing her end of life care. She is now facing not going out peacefully at home but given miminum care. Can you imagine your last few days and weeks on Earth worrying about the excruciating things to come? I do not want to compromise her anonymity by exposing her FB entry, but I can make a contribution on our behalf, using our screen names, she will know who we are. If you want to contribute, please PM me, I will send you my address to send a check. My heart bleeds for this courageous lady.

Hope everyone has a peaceful Sunday, Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Check will be in the mail tomorrow, Byrdie. Thank you for taking the lead on this. To anyone who wants to be inspired and reminded why you're living AF, go back and read LB's heartfelt, poignant, funny, and sometimes heartbreaking posts. She worked for and valued what she was able to do - what we all can do.

Congratulations, Wags. You've sounded very confident for a long time but reaching this milestone means that there is no day of the year that can ever be considered one on which you "always" drink. You didn't this year and the best thing is, you never have to again :hug:.

Good job ignoring the dumb idea to have "one", LC! To me, "one" just sounds irritating! None sounds much better :wink:"

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

So very sorry to hear about Lil Bit. I'll PM you, Byrdie.

CONGRATULATIONS, Wags!!! So happy to celebrate this momentous day with you. Now you've been through your year of "firsts" and are on your way. Speech! Speech!

Welcome, Yello - and congratulations on Day 1. The only way to get to day 365 is on day at a time...

Glad to be sober and coherent on this Sunday morning. Lots to do here...

xo
Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,

<<clears throat...>>>

Thank you all for coming to my One Year AF Bash here in the Newbie's Nest! Byrdie and Lav brought a cake, and you'll find some lovely AF beverages on the table at the back of the room. Watch out for the balloons and streamers on your way to the snack table. Music and dancing will begin shortly. Please break out all your best moves

Guess I'm not officially a "newbie" anymore, but I still feel like there's lots to learn and compared to the 30+ years I DID drink, one year still makes me new to this. So, here in the nest I will stay

Thanks so much for your support and congratulations on this, my one-year anniversary! I've had my eye on this prize for months now, and it's been interesting to see and feel how my perspective has shifted over time. I did at the beginning see one year as a "finish line" of sorts - not that I'd definitely drink again right after, but just that maybe I'd re-assess at that time. Then, as I mentioned recently, my focus shifted to where one year became a solid milestone on much longer (lifetime!) journey. It feels really good to reach this. I haven't had a full year sober since 2010, and I struggled mightily during many of the years since then. It still scares me, al does. I don't respect it for what it is - I hate it for that - but I respect and take very seriously the damage it can and does do.

So now begins the second AF circle around the sun. I feel very confident going into year 2. I've had some major challenges arise during this first year and not one of them led me to drink. So really, I have no excuse to drink from this day forward either. As some of you said, I now have no days on which I "usually" drink in a year - no holidays, no events, no hardships or celebrations. I've found healthier and more self-caring ways to handle all of those, and I look forward to round two.

Thank you so much all of you for your presence here in the nest. No matter how you show up, please know that you are all helping someone, perhaps everyone.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oh Byrdie, I'm so sorry to hear about Lil Bit. I was my mom's caregiver through her terminal pancreatic cancer, and am now helping my cousin as she navigates terminal brain cancer. There's no two ways about it - cancer sucks hard, and it's almost always a painful and horrible way to leave this life. It makes me so mad that insurance companies have any say whatsoever in the type and/or quality of care. I'm facing a little of this with my insurance company who resents having to pay anything for my care after my terrible hit-and-run accident.

I will gladly contribute to this. A check is no problem, or do you possibly have paypal as an option? Not sure what you feel most comfortable with in terms of sharing your personal address, email address, etc. I promise not to stalk you except possibly for baked goods

I'll PM you to figure out details. Thanks for sharing this info with us so that we can help in some small way. :heartbeat:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Finally getting a little rain here, hope it's enough to break the heat wave, yikes.

Yello, Congrats on getting thru the hardest of all days, #1

Ava, glad you enjoyed the wedding. I hope the drinkers are recovering, ha ha!!

Wags, CONGRATS ON YOUR 1 YEAR AF :yay: :welldone:
It is such a good feeling to know that you can finally depend on & trust yourself once again, right?
Keep moving forward, no reason to ever look back now!

Byrdie, thanks for reposting Lil's GoFundMe on FB. I saw it earlier & will go back & make a donation now that I have a few minutes. I've been thinking of her a lot these last few weeks. All we can do is wish & pray for comfort & peace for her :hug:

Hello to Pav, NS, Marylou & everyone.
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters,

Thank you, Byrdie, for letting us know about Lilbit. That is such very sad news... I'd like to contribute a bit of money as well, but will PM you to find out the best way. You'll let her know we're all thinking of her and sending love..

Wags, you're sounding great and I'm excited for you going into your second year.. so true what you said about having handled so many situations, plus all major holidays, traditional "drinking" days sober. I love that you've found healthier and more self caring ways to deal with anything that comes your way. You are one of my big role models! :love:

How are you doing today, Yello?

So, everything is more or less ok here. I've got no reason to complain, so I won't! Feeling a bit funky, but some days that's just how it is..
Off to work in a bit and then I'll come straight home and check in with you all again.
xx

[YelloBello]

Re: Newbies Nest

Howdy all

Just popping and read all your wonderfully stories. I won't have time this morning to write much as am off to work.

I feel absolutely amazing! My head is so clear!

Today is the day I walk past all the bars I usually went to for "1" after work and I look forward to the challenge!

I will pop in later this evening to read more of your lovely stories.

Congrats again wags! You give me the incentive to do this.

Have a wonderful day!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

...and I look forward to the challenge!

Hi, YB, and welcome to the Nest!

After I'd adjusted physically to not getting my daily dose of ethanol (and may I say, you are feeling good very quickly, which must be nice!), I started looking at "AF firsts" as challenges, too. I'm into self-experimentation of all sorts and this fit into that. That didn't necessarily make the experiences fun, but I did enjoy being engaged in planning what I was going to do, putting any procedures or props into place, and then doing that thing without a drink. The best part was accomplishing each of those short term goals and recognizing how happy I was that I hadn't drunk. I'd also think about how bad I would have felt if I'd let myself down. Getting through each hurdle strengthens you and in my opinion, is a better way to look at this than as a battle or war. I surrendered pretty early on to the fact that I had no off-switch. Once that is done, you're free to challenge yourself to develop and live the life you want and deserve.

After awhile, not drinking becomes totally normal and, while it's important to have the overall philosophy of not drinking and any tools you need available to stick with it (e.g. the commitment to contact a sober friend or posting here before ever having a drink), it really fades to the background and isn't a big deal. Ironically, I kind of missed the challenges and rewards that came from success. So... now I'm looking for other self-improvements :smile:

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

YB & NS - Love what you both said about thinking of things as "challenges" to face. I think this is part of what I have done and will continue to do as well. For me, nothing beats the rush of waking up the morning after something and realizing that I didn't drink! I really feel that as a wave of endorphins or something - a wave of happiness and pride. And you know what, every single one of those makes me stronger. YB, I will be thinking about you as you face your "walk of strength" today!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yes, I agree.. that is a great way to think about it. As a challenge.. I'm going to try and that into my head!:happy2:

[YelloBello]

Re: Newbies Nest

It's not only a challenge but a joyful experience! I remember the same thing a year ago when I was giving up smoking, I enjoyed every day. Instead of seeing it as a struggle I saw it an an extra step towards a healthy and vibrant life. This is what's happening now too, it is not a struggle but an achievement as I am not losing anything but gaining everything. I feel free , I feel wealthy and I feel healthy.
I am also very lucky to have found all you people in the same boat, we are helping each other.
I took a 2k jog this evening after work, my first time in 5 years.
I am tired but very happy.
Good night dear nesters.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

So glad to hear you are doing well, Yello! Im so happy to hear that your mind is in the right place, thats half the battle!
Hope everyone had a good day, another busy one here. Have a safe night in the nest! Byrdie