Newbies Nest

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks, all for the inspiring posts. They help all of us, and for that I'm grateful.

[empyr3al]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!
Elvis, I also loved that post and copied it to my stash of favourites.

I'm here and have just been super busy with the girls.. they're off on Thursday, so I haven't wanted to waste any time.. but my biggest excuse for not posting is that I've been soooo hateful in my heart and I don't know how to deal with it (towards my ex and his dumb girlfriend coming to visit next week). I have been trying to be positive, to be loving and empathetic, to accept the people most difficult in my life.. but I'm not that far. So the anger and negativity are only doing ME harm and I'm struggling, having bad dreams at night.. feeling like I might strangle someone.. but mostly not knowing how to deal with the pain/heartache. I think it just takes a lot more time than I'd anticipated.. like they say, maybe half the time of the relationship. Hopefully not.. I feel stupid writing about this because so many people here are dealing with real hard core stuff.. life and death. And this is more of a frame of mind.. I just can't quite get my mind around it.

so. that's the only reason I've been away. I feel a bit better now after having said it.. and I'm sure things will improve.

Wishing you all a good evening. xx

'
Wow, I dont know if I posted on MWO or on theendofmydiction but I had a lot to say about hatred, suicide, anger and shame. I hate having to drop my dog off (shared custody) to my ex's boyfriend. I can understand your pain. The pain is insane. Use some tools. We should have a tool box on this site.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!!
I agree, TJAF! I'm honestly so touched by the amazing support offered here. I feel like I have a lot of people holding my hand, backing me up and believing in me when I'm wondering whether or not I can do it.. not just not drinking, but engaging fully in life, making the changes necessary to stay on track. You manage to say the words I need to hear at the right time..
I took my daughter to the train station this morning.. she's off with her bike to meet her dad for a week. Such a big girl. She will be 13 in December and I KNOW these next couple of weeks, this Summer, is the last big block of free time I have of her as my little girl. She's held on a long time (she's slow to let puberty get her!:happy2 and I'm so grateful to still have so much time with her one on one..

I'm watching a heartbreaking documentary called, There's something wrong with Aunt Dianne.. a story I wasn't familiar with, but which we all should know. The shame that surrounds drinking, at what levels it can and will be hidden and denied.. One of many tragedies that didn't have to happen..

I'm excited about 30 days tomorrow.. Wags, you asked, and I guess my plan for the next 60 days isn't so much different. I would like to be more present in each day. I would like to continue to train my brain to focus on what I can change... and to let go of what I can't. I have a need to move forward faster.. but I'm learning that isn't really possible. Usually when I try to do that I'm acting out of desperateness or wanting to escape..so, slowly but surely.

Hope everyone is having a nice Friday.. see you tomorrow. xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Then things just start to pile up, and depression and isolation rear their ugly heads. Enter The Feck-Its. That is how it happens. People stray away at the very time they should stay GLUED IN!

This is spot on in my experience and for so many others Byrdy. It is a silent killer. Right on!

'
Wow, I dont know if I posted on MWO or on theendofmydiction but I had a lot to say about hatred, suicide, anger and shame. I hate having to drop my dog off (shared custody) to my ex's boyfriend. I can understand your pain. The pain is insane. Use some tools. We should have a tool box on this site.

Our Toolbox. Have a read here Empy. https://www.mywayout.org/community/m...-tool-box.html

I would like to continue to train my brain to focus on what I can change... and to let go of what I can't.

Me too LC! You're raawkin it my friend. Looking forward to celebrating 30 days with ya. Wait a minute......it's August 5 down here already. Happy 30 days LC! X

Day Fifty fkn 4 here. Weekend away with the lady. See y'all tuesday. Holy Knotted Nuns knickers!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

TJ what a lovely post, we are fighting for our lives and i know if i drink the war is lost and i wont let al ever win against me now. the voice has long gone and appreciation for life is a high priority even if it is crap. there is always something to appreciate albeit small.

LC there is no finish line with an alcoholic, each day we grow and learn and get better. Just like with any illness life does not get back to normal straightaway, it takes us time to heal and get better. I was told that stopping drinking was like grieving and we go through those stages of anger, grief, acceptance etc. I found that to be true for me, i desperately missed my best pal, i as pissed i could not drink as "why me" but as time went on i realised that no one needs a friend like al. Al wanted me to die, al wanted me all to itself, al gave me no happiness or enjoyment in life, al just took and took everything i had. Congrats on your 30 days, be very proud of what you have achieved in those days, the main one being you did not drink at all. Take each day as it comes and plod along. Life may seem like crap now and then but believe me after nearly 4 years it still is sometimes but i dont drink and i can deal with all the stuff that is thrown at me without killing myself with al in the process or others :egad:

Have a great weekend away G, where are you going? after 10 months i am still trying to get the other to go away, too busy he says. His loss i say.

After a week from hell with work i am having a do not much weekend. my girls are visiting which will be lovely and hopefully we are going whale watching tomorrow. i have said i am not driving, not because i will be hungover but because i drive in peak hour 2 hours plus a day and i dont want to. will be interesting to see if we go or i drive lol. Its much easier to give in to my girls so they quit nagging! Hoping to have a week off work in a couple of weeks. Some much rest, we have a new professor starting in October and before i burn out completely some time off will be great. Not going anywhere, just staying home with my girls and maybe look at doing some housework and not getting up at 5.30am in the cold.

Off to hang the washing out, its fine at the moment.

Thinking of you lav xx

take care x

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Have a great weekend away G, where are you going? after 10 months i am still trying to get the other to go away, too busy he says. His loss i say.

G'day Ava. Down the coast an hour or so away. we booked through this mob. various pricing etc. Between 2 can be affordable. Stayz Holiday Accommodation - 4,+ Holiday Rentals across Australia

Have a beaut weekend. Same to y'all. The telemarketers rang me the other day offering 2 tickets to boozeville. I said no thanks, but have u got a booze free weekend away somewhere? She said 'as a matter of fact YES we do sir! Because you're our millionth call, we are offering a genuine booze free trip for 2. It's a crazy novelty theme we're trying out'!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great posts, everyone.
Being sober is its own reward, do what ever it takes to maintain your quit.
I called a coworker of mine for some help on a quote I needed to get done, it was 4 o'clock and he was wasted. I must admit, I was PO'd. He was in no shape to help me. I feel bad for him, because at some point he is going to have a realization about AL. I hope its sooner than later.
Life is too precious to lose another moment to AL! In any amount.
LC! Congrats on your 30 days! Im so proud of you! Here is your hat! :guy: As G says, you are rawking it! Keep up the great work!
Empy, great to see you here in the nest. Stick around!
Hope everyone has a great evening. Byrdie

[empyr3al]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

TJ what a lovely post, we are fighting for our lives and i know if i drink the war is lost and i wont let al ever win against me now. the voice has long gone and appreciation for life is a high priority even if it is crap. there is always something to appreciate albeit small.

LC there is no finish line with an alcoholic, each day we grow and learn and get better. Just like with any illness life does not get back to normal straightaway, it takes us time to heal and get better. I was told that stopping drinking was like grieving and we go through those stages of anger, grief, acceptance etc. I found that to be true for me, i desperately missed my best pal, i as pissed i could not drink as "why me" but as time went on i realised that no one needs a friend like al. Al wanted me to die, al wanted me all to itself, al gave me no happiness or enjoyment in life, al just took and took everything i had. Congrats on your 30 days, be very proud of what you have achieved in those days, the main one being you did not drink at all. Take each day as it comes and plod along. Life may seem like crap now and then but believe me after nearly 4 years it still is sometimes but i dont drink and i can deal with all the stuff that is thrown at me without killing myself with al in the process or others :egad:

Have a great weekend away G, where are you going? after 10 months i am still trying to get the other to go away, too busy he says. His loss i say.

After a week from hell with work i am having a do not much weekend. my girls are visiting which will be lovely and hopefully we are going whale watching tomorrow. i have said i am not driving, not because i will be hungover but because i drive in peak hour 2 hours plus a day and i dont want to. will be interesting to see if we go or i drive lol. Its much easier to give in to my girls so they quit nagging! Hoping to have a week off work in a couple of weeks. Some much rest, we have a new professor starting in October and before i burn out completely some time off will be great. Not going anywhere, just staying home with my girls and maybe look at doing some housework and not getting up at 5.30am in the cold.

Off to hang the washing out, its fine at the moment.

Thinking of you lav xx

take care x

Breathalizers. I own about 6 or 7 (seriously), I own a lot of them for too risk danger. First off as toys for fun 20 year ago to see what we could blow drinking at home and then I went a little haywire with them so I'm sure I am of legal limit to drive. 0.08 here if you are a fully qualified driver. Most of us know that is low and can hit 0.30 and in some books high and 0 would be awesome. 0 Is most of all time but like last night I was with someone who drinks and I'm not at 12 hours. (now, damn) Sucks because old friends can cause wierd things especially if they have not accepted step 1 to 3. So now again I need to check myself if I continue down this path. I have meds to stop it, its just a hang over because really just hitting hard because I'm not a regular user anymore. I love alc and then I hate it. Stopping for a long time than then getting drunk, holy shit its inane I forgot what a hang over it like because i drank over the hangover. But holy shit.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Happy 30 LC :yay:
I hope your weekend is wonderful!

G, hope your weekend rocks

Not much going on here in Lav-land, just more heat & humidity. I am looking forward to my granddaughter coming Sunday for an overnight stay. She's 6 & fun & bubbly, ha ha! So grateful I am not missing a moment with the grandkids. My plan - keep this quit FOREVER!!!

Sorry to hear about the co-worker Byrdie. Maybe you could drop some hints.......

Greetings to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning all! Thanks for the well wishes and the support! I am feeling happy and will celebrate today with a nice, long walk with a good friend.
It's funny but a lot of this month was spent telling myself that I wouldn't act on certain "impulses" or make certain decisions until I had 30 days under my belt.. I still don't feel ready to deal with those things.. and I'm ok with that. I guess I am learning to be more patient with myself, not to have as many expectations, to accept and be ok with where I am even if it's not perfect or where I'd like to be. Love what you said, Ava, about there being no finish line.. I can see that this is a life long endeavor.. and like you've all said and I'm beginning to see, the journey is determined by our state of mind.. So that's my biggest goal this next month. To keep my state of mind in check, to increase the activities that make me feel good/better..meditation, exercise, positive interactions with friends.. developing more my goals for the future.. where would I like to be a year from now? It's important for me to keep those goals and dreams present.. balancing them with one day at a time.

Love and hugs to all of you!! I'm very grateful for your existence.. each and every person here helps so many just by being present, for contributing..
see you later this afternoon.. xx

G-man, wishing you a wonderful weekend!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

A perfect email today from Hazelden.. though I don't do "the steps", the message is great. Exactly what I'm trying to do!
Have a great day, everyone!

Having loosened our grip on the past, we are free to reach for the future.
--Ann D. Clark

Everyday of our lives we think of some situation we wish we had handled differently. Perhaps we left a job we now miss, disciplined a child needlessly, or responded rudely to a friend. Our Fourth Step inventory abundantly details our many regrets, but the past is gone. We can't take back the job or the punishment or the rude responses. However, we can make certain the Tenth Step we do every night is not filled with similar regrets.

Recovery has given us a second chance. Let's not waste this gift by hanging on to what can't be changed. We all know what we don't like about our behavior in the past. That's all we need to remember when we decide how to behave in the present. We won't be ashamed in the future, if we take charge of our present.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congrats on 30 days LC!!

[shanna]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Newbie here. I just popped two antabuse, and I'm officially on Day 1 AF. I can't live like this anymore. I was puking at 3AM from drinking all afternoon - and of course I ate really awful right before I crashed. And I drove drunk - AGAIN. God has given me so many chances, and I keep playing with fire. I've been fed up before, and I've resolved to get clean many times. How do I know this time is going to be different? Well, I'm not exactly sure yet, but I do know that I need to think about that. Fortunately antabuse will give me some time to get sober and make my plan.

I'm attending a meeting on Tuesday night, and I'll be going to church tomorrow morning - those things are definitely different, but I need more than that, if I want to make this new life stick. Who am I kidding? I never had a life when drinking. Every day revolves around it. I'm so tired of waking up in a panic. I'm tired of lying. I'm tired of making excuses at work. I'm tired of wondering if I fed my dog the night before. I'm tired of the fuzzy head. I'm tired of being 30 pounds overweight.

This lists could go on and on...

Anyway, I am happy to be here, and I've logged my first day in the roll call thread.

I'll be reading a lot today, and thanking God that I'll be sober today.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome Shanna!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Shanna, welcome aboard. When I finally decided enough was enough it was almost a relief! All I needed were the tools to help me and I found them here. Read all you can and post. Whatever is on your mind, get it out there for discussion. You would have to go some to beat some of the stories we have seen and done! You are not alone. This addiction CAN be overcome and put into remission, Im living proof! We are so glad you're here! Byrdie