Newbies Nest

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey folks long time no see!
Checking in today with exactly
3 years AF! Didn't just show up after my absence to gloat, more of a " If I can do it anyone can"
3 things I would like to briefly touch on.
Where was I?
What did I do?
Where am I today?

August 2014 I came crawling into these rooms defeated, depleted, shameful, and remorseful.
I felt as if I had exhausted all efforts and avenues at sobriety, with the Will power choice being my favorite method (Insanity)
I became involved in this forum, latched on to people and posts that resonated with me and disregarded the ones that didn't. Started personal relationships with several members that I could relate with and leaned on them and learned from them in form of email, Skype, text messaging etc.
Looked at their successes and how they did it, looked at other's failures and how those may have happened.
I took things I'd learned along the way from AA, self help books etc, put all that together to create "My Way Out"
I utilized my past mistakes and regrets and turned them into fuel tip stay sober. " My darkest days became my strongest ally"
3 years ago the thought of life without alcohol equaled no life at all. How could I ever have fun again?
Today I can honestly say a life with Alcohol in it equals no life at all, and back to the prison and living Hell I was in. I'm not going to say it has always been easy, life is often not easy. For 20+ years I numbed and buried emotions and feelings with booze, this will always be work in progress.
My relationships with my wife and 3 boys has never been better.

If you're struggling and thinking about drinking, one of the best tools I learned I here is playing that drink out in your mind, be honest, leave out zero details. If you have what I have that drink will play out the same horrible way every time.

Like it says in my signature there is no way to do this alone, believe me I still practice what I preach. I am involved with other people in the public safety world that share many things in common when it comes to substance abuse.

Thanks for letting me show up and share my story.
Stay Hard my friends!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Matt, congratulations on 3 big years! :three: I remember how hard you worked to overcome your demons and that danged 10 month mark! I couldnt be more proud of you if you were my own kin. Im thrilled to hear how your life has changed in positive ways. Life isnt always easy but its always better without AL.
Would you consider putting that post in the Tool Box for us? Can you imagine how inspirational that might be to someone who is at the end of his rope with all this? Someone looking for hope, which you have provided with that moving account of your experience.
Thank you for taking the time to let us know how you are getting on with life! Well done, Matt, well done, indeed!
:horse:
Byrdie

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

Matt, congratulations on 3 big years! :three: I remember how hard you worked to overcome your demons and that danged 10 month mark! I couldnt be more proud of you if you were my own kin. Im thrilled to hear how your life has changed in positive ways. Life isnt always easy but its always better without AL.
Would you consider putting that post in the Tool Box for us? Can you imagine how inspirational that might be to someone who is at the end of his rope with all this? Someone looking for hope, which you have provided with that moving account of your experience.
Thank you for taking the time to let us know how you are getting on with life! Well done, Matt, well done, indeed!
:horse:
Byrdie

Thanks Byrd
I can definitely say you helped me so much, I owe so much of this to you! And I love you for it!

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Newbie here. I just popped two antabuse, and I'm officially on Day 1 AF. I can't live like this anymore. I was puking at 3AM from drinking all afternoon - and of course I ate really awful right before I crashed. And I drove drunk - AGAIN. God has given me so many chances, and I keep playing with fire. I've been fed up before, and I've resolved to get clean many times. How do I know this time is going to be different? Well, I'm not exactly sure yet, but I do know that I need to think about that. Fortunately antabuse will give me some time to get sober and make my plan.

I'm attending a meeting on Tuesday night, and I'll be going to church tomorrow morning - those things are definitely different, but I need more than that, if I want to make this new life stick. Who am I kidding? I never had a life when drinking. Every day revolves around it. I'm so tired of waking up in a panic. I'm tired of lying. I'm tired of making excuses at work. I'm tired of wondering if I fed my dog the night before. I'm tired of the fuzzy head. I'm tired of being 30 pounds overweight.

This lists could go on and on...

Anyway, I am happy to be here, and I've logged my first day in the roll call thread.

I'll be reading a lot today, and thanking God that I'll be sober today.

Welcome Shanna!
Everything you said in your post-
ME TOO! I was right there. You've come to the right place.
This isn't a miracle cure forum, you'll get what you put into it.
If you can muster half the amount of time and effort that went into drinking , and put that in these rooms, you'll be well on your way!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations on 3 years Matt!!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations, Matt and LC on your milestone days! And welcome to you, Shanna - you're on the most important day of all. Get this one behind you and you never have to have another day 1 again.

I hope all the Nesters are having a good weekend. I did too much yard and kitchen work and am ready to crash. For so long wine was my "reward" after working hard but all it really did was take me out of commission and shorten my weekend by hours. What a waste!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hello & welcome Shanna! This is the place to be so stick with us & find success

LC, congrats again your 30 AF days!

Matt, CONGRATS on 3 YEARS AF :welldone: :yay:
Life is quite different for you now, couldn't be much better, right? I am very happy for you!!!!

We had a beautiful fall-like day, cool, sunny & breezy. What a blessing after all that nasty heat & humidity.
I know it will get hot again, just trying to enjoy this gift

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Welcome Shanna, we are all alcoholics so you have come to the right place, no judgement, just support and understanding.

Happy 3rd birthday matt, i hope you have a lovely day.

Glad the weather has cooled down for you lav, raining here and have the heater on but i did manage to get the washing dry yesterday.

The children came over last night, they drank and i didnt. We had such a great night, the girls were talking about their younger years and it was so funny. I am always amazed at how well they have grown up as i thought i didnt function very well when i drank but none of their stories were of me drunk, their stories were of me mainly being there for them. To me it was an eye opener that i was there for them but when i think back i wasnt in the grips of al when they were younger and i was more a binge drinker, planning my drinks for when friends came around etc, i was not a daily drinker and with 4 children i really didnt have the time thank god. I still missed years and i feel awful for that but i was so proud of my girls last night in seeing what they have become as young women and they in turn are proud of who i have become in the last 3+ years. The other half came over and found out a lot from their conversations, apparently i used to beat them, i would have called it a smack but .............nothing like stretching the truth.

Now i have made them breakfast and they are quiet. As they say they like being looked after when they come over and who better do do that than me with no hangover, no wishing i could die in bed quietly and happy.

Take care x

[TJAF]

Re: Newbies Nest

Way to go Matt

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Back from vacation. We had two major health scares - a friend and a family member. Very scary and not totally over, but the good news is 1) I was sober to deal with it and 2) even after the stress of a 5 hour emergency room visit I never once thought "I need a drink." That go-to mechanism just isn't there for me any more.

Congratulations to you Matt! and LC! Big milestones.

Welcome, Shanna. I was so afraid when I first came here - I look back on my journal for the year before I quit and the word fear is prominent. I was afraid to keep drinking, but I was also afraid to stop - what would life be like, and how could I ever have fun? Finally making the decision to quit - to be honest (like TJAF says - to myself, my doctor and my husband) - and to admit that I needed help - turned out to bring FREEDOM to my life. You have made an excellent decision and you won't regret it.

LC - I'd be angry, too. I think that one great way to use a sober community is to express feelings and emotions we have, so they don't fester and come back to haunt. Rather than going away next time, come pound on your keyboard and get it out.

G - hope your weekend away is fabulous.

Ava - Sounds like such a fun night to have them all around.

Everyone else, sounds like you need AC and ice cubes, stat. I didn't read all of the way back, but HI to my nest family. Good to be back.

Pav

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Back from vacation. We had two major health scares - a friend and a family member. Very scary and not totally over, but the good news is 1) I was sober to deal with it and 2) even after the stress of a 5 hour emergency room visit I never once thought "I need a drink." That go-to mechanism just isn't there for me any more.

I love what you said here Pav! Isn't that a great feeling...

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

Matt!! Congratulations on 3 whole years of freedom.. thanks for the great post. I'm happy to hear that your relationship with your wife and kids is so good. That is what I'm looking forward to the most.. that my ways of communicating and relating with others improves with a clear mind, practice, using the tools I'm learning daily.

Pav, I hope that everyone will be fine soon. :hug: You are a pillar of strength and it's inspiring to hear that the days of alcohol as a "go to" mechanism are really gone at some point. I can't wait for that.

Welcome Shanna!!:welcome:

All is fairly well here on this beautiful Sunday morning. The weather is perfect for me.. clear skies, not too hot and a slight breeze.
I am putting into practice the next phase of my "plan" which is exercise on a daily basis and keeping better track of my nutrition. Putting into habit exercising first thing in the morning, whether its a run, a brisk walk, the gym, stretching at home sets the day. I did it today and all the conversations with myself stopped.. I don't have to procrastinate anymore, I can just get on with the rest of my day feeling better than I did before.. plus, when I exercise, I automatically eat better.
I made a long list of where I am now and where/how I want to be in the future.. then I wrote down some ways of getting there. Mind you, I'm beginning with reachable goals..actions to help me to further myself along this path. My time goals are ODAT and then 60 days, 90 days, 100 days.. Today I feel strong and good so I'm going for it.

Big shout out and hello to all the lovely people flying and stopping by today.. see you later. xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Matt - good to see you, and huge congrats on 3 years!!! Thanks for sharing your 3 points

LC - Congrats to you on your big 30 days - you did it!!! And now you get to choose to go forward. I can assure you that the days Pav and others have mentioned - the days where drinking is no longer a go-to coping mechanism - WILL come. They definitely have for me, I can't recall exactly where, but I would say that I had an inkling at the very beginning that this quit was going to be "the one." I'd guess it was when I was going strong after 100 days (there are so many great milestones to check off en route to this point), but you may find it happens sooner or later.

Pav - great job handling the emergencies with aplomb, and I hope everyone is back to health soon!

Ava - sounds like a lovely visit with your kids

Happy AF weekends everyone!!!

[shanna]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you all for the warm welcome. I got through Day 1, and it's in my rear view mirror. I still have a ways to go before I feel strong and healthy again, but at least I didn't wake up in a panic, trying to piece together the night before. Oh, I have done that sooo many times. What a waste of a life. I am looking forward to my sober life ahead, and I'm smiling. I'm really going to do it this time. I just know it! You are all such an inspiration. Love you all, already!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, all!
Shanna, so glad that you made it thru D1. Getting that in the history books is huge. I just posted on Super Sunday shoutout, Ive saved enough by not drinking to buy a car! (And I was a cheap drunk!). Keep up the great work, put one foot in front of the other!
Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie