Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Glad you got a break Byrdy! I reckon if you were head of some big not for profit socially aware/inclined organisation, a hell of a lot of good things would get done.

Keep trucking Roobs! My thoughts are with you and your family Wags. Geez, these times are not easy. I hope things work out as best as possible for your cousin.

Ava, gr8 post as has become the norm. You're another one who should be running the show.

It's a sunny winters wednesday morning here in Oz. Physically i feel great all things considered. Emotionally, fairly stable for a rock guitarist. Mentally, optimistic, relaxed and focused on what i want, not on trivia or the word 'can't'. No such word as 'Can't' round here.

Get some self loving in now ya hear?

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Checking in before yet another big storm arrives, geez. There is a tornado warning up for a county just north of us, yikes!
All the chickens are tucked in & I don't think I left anything laying around outside that could be turned into a projectile when the winds pick up. I'll be happy when this crazy season gets over & done with, for sure.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all.
Byrdie, enjoy that ice cream

Lav

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good to see you here [MENTION=19317]LostSoul33[/MENTION]. Feeling a little meh, myself. Going to get out for a walk to see if that helps.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Roobs - I get that feeling, too, and I realized that it is sort of created by my using Facebook when I see some group of friends doing X without me. I have actually given that up. I don't invite EVERYONE EVERY TIME I do something, and I just accept that there are some things I won't be a part of. I get a great deal from my friendships at work that are totally different and outside of my home town friends, and I am also close to my family. Those relationships take time that might otherwise be spent with those groups - and I am completely ok with that. I did feel high school at first, but like Ava says, getting to know myself better has been a great benefit of not drinking.

Wags, I agree with Ava. Be yourself in your friendship. I'm sure she appreciates a laugh! I was with my MiL (who was a good friend) when she died. It was SO hard, but so good to be there. It was comforting to see how peaceful it was. In the end, though, we can't really control those things. Ah, what a great thing to understand.

Stay battened down, Lav and Stella.

xo
Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=23164]Roobs[/MENTION] - I've been thinking about what you wrote about how you try to be funny in texting or talking with your friend. I'm sure that no matter how hard we try, some of what we do in such situations if to comfort ourselves - that's very human, and we ARE hurting. I'v been reading some helpful materials recently, and they basically suggest taking your cues from the person who is sick or dying. Especially with people we know at least somewhat, we can hopefully pick up on what's welcome and what isn't. I know with my mom, some of her happiest times wee when she got to stop thinking about cancer for a few minutes or hours. Hugs to you and your friend. Cancer sucks for sure!

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone - new (sorta) here!

I had an account awhile ago - maybe a year or two ago? But I for the life of me cannot remember what username I used or what email - all the emails I tried told me they didn't exist. So I'm starting a new. A few of your usernames look familiar, glad ya'll are still around.

Currently on day 1 and still quite hungover. I think last time I joined here I almost made it to the 30 mark. I dropped off because, once again, I had that fleeting thought of, “Hey, I’m good. I can drink a bit here and there.” Of course, I was wrong. And it just got worse and worse and worse.

My story is pretty typical - I guess I would call myself a high functioning alcoholic. Stable job, good marriage, house, kid, dogs. Of course everyone partied hard in college and even a bit after, but here I am at almost 32 and still at it. It’d start off with “oops! I killed another bottle of wine last night! didn’t realize how much I’d had!” to buying boxes to topping off my already full cup every time my husband disappeared out of the kitchen. Before you know it, two bottles in a night was the norm.

So why suddenly am I here? I’m so done feeling hungover and guilty constantly. (Not to mention the $$, even on cheap box wine!) I’ve gained 40 pounds in a year. This cycle of large amounts of alcohol = hungover = eating anything and everything and downing Dr. Peppers + no exercise. I feel awful and my clothes don’t fit.

But ultimately, I’m feeling like a truly awful human being. I’m completely prepared to be judged this this. And I’ll attempt to keep it short and not TMI - My husband and I decided we wanted to try and get pregnant again. I figured it’d be easy to quit once we started trying because I didn’t want to drink while pregnant. How wrong I was. It started out with: “Well, technically you haven’t even conceived in the first two weeks of pregnancy, so it’s totally cool.” Then comes a big family camping trip. I took 3 pregnancy tests and all were negative. I thought I was in the clear. I drank. A lot. All day. Wednesday rolls around - big positive. We’re elated, right? Then the guilt sets in on exactly how much I had drank the weekend before. I cried the whole day. I Google’d into the early mornings. Fast forward 5 days I wake up with a lot of bleeding/cramping. Go to the ER, pregnancy test is negative. Did not ask for a blood test. Get sent home, saying I was never pregnant. I take 6 more tests in the next 6 days. All negative. OB says most likely a chemical pregnancy, I never even would have known if I hadn’t tested so early. Honestly, I was relieved. We can try again and this time I will do it sober!

I didn’t. Of course I was right back to my “Oh yeah, first two weeks don’t matter” mindset and drank as I usually do. I did ovulation tests every day this month and apparently never ovulated. Someone of sound mind would assume this is normal after an early miscarriage, but not me. I also figured since I didn’t ovulate - I can’t be pregnant!

Now I’m terrified I’m still pregnant from the first time (I’ve taken two additional tests this month, both were negative.) That would put me around 7-8 weeks with heavy, heavy drinking during weeks 5-6, which are most critical. Everyone keeps assuring me I’m not still pregnant from the first time. Even if I’m not, it’s possible I’m pregnant from trying this month, which at this moment would put me around 3 weeks. All research points to no damage done at this point, but really didn’t want to carry the guilt of even three weeks.

So, here I am. I don’t want to make anymore bargains with myself and I need to hold myself accountable. Clearly I can’t control my intake and need to eliminate it completely.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Top of the thursday morning from over here Nesters!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

For some reason, Im not able to get to today's posts, it's putting me back to July's posts.

We've returned from vacation, I came home in order to meet with a customer on Friday. Ive been trying to nail him down and on Moday, he put me off til yesterday. Yesterday he put me off til today and today he says he is in the middle of an emergency, I asked if HE was ok and he said he couldnt talk about it and sounded close to tears. I wonder if he's had a death in the family. Whatever it was, I hate it for him.

I need to reign in my eating, things got out of hand while on vacation. I feel FAT. Bleh. Good to be home! Byrdie

[abcowboy]

Hi [MENTION=23999]moonking[/MENTION], welcome back! Obviously drinking while pregnant is a terrible idea, and it should be a great motivation to quit, but you have to quit for yourself as much as for anyone else. If you don't want to quit, usually no reason will be good enough to stay quit, except for maybe pregnancy. Log in everyday, read, post, read some more. Hopefully you'll get through Day 2 and beyond!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Moonking - A LOT of people post around here that they drink when first pregnant but then quit. I think if you look around the section on "Need help right away" you'll find that in very early pregnancy you are ok. However, it IS bad to drink during later pregnancy. Are you ready and able to quit now? If not, you should see a doctor. The baby can be born with severe complications (fetal alcohol syndrome) if you continue to drink. If you feel ok, use this pregnancy as a way to stop drinking for 9 months, which I did both time. Here's my challenge - with both kids, after I was done breast feeding, I went straight back to drinking, and in the case of my second child it was really the start of the end (it took a while though). While you are on a biologically-enforced hiatus, I recommend that you work on your sobriety psychologically so that when you do have your child, your "excuse" doesn't go away and you go back to drinking. It is early in the a.m., so I am not making much sense, but suffice to say that I'm glad you're here, and I think if you stop drinking now you will be fine.

Happy Thursday!
Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - glad you had a good vacation, and hopefully you'll get past all the ice cream soon. I couldn't access anything newer than July when I logged in here last night either. The roll call was fine but the nest was back a month or so. Glad to see it up and running well again!

Ava - hope you're able to get back on top of your work stuff quickly and painlessly. I haven't seen news about Mads lately - hope I haven't missed something - how is she doing these days?

G - thanks for your compassion re my cousin. Every little word of support helps.

Moon - welcome (back)! Sounds like you have a lot on your mind, understandably so. Put your quit first and everything else will be easier (NOT necessarily easy). You know the drill from your last time here - Stick tight to the nest, post daily, check out the tool box (see link in Byrdie's signature), protect your quit! Glad you're here :hug:

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

x-post [MENTION=20191]Pavati[/MENTION] - good to see you!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Glad the nest is back to normal tonight. I never was able to check in last night.

Hello & welcome Moonking, glad you decided to join us!
Quitting right now would be the best thing for you & your future baby. You can do it with a strong commitment & a good working plan. Don't forget about the Tool Box for great ideas. Wishing you the best!

Byrdie, welcome back to you as well.
For some reason I'm feeling a little heavy myself & I haven't been on vacation or eating ice cream, ha ha!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
I'm returning back to life after a nasty virus.. I'm a doomsday type of sick person, thinking that I'll never be well again.. So I'm glad and grateful that it has almost passed. I feel like I have another chance at life and am so happy to be a part of this Nest community.

Wags, I've been thinking of you a lot and just wanted to add my support to all that you're dealing with. It sounds to me like you are doing just the right thing, in how you're being there for your cousin, sensitive to what she might need in the moment... I guess that will continue to change as time passes and having you there, able to accept her means everything.:hug:

Welcome back Moonking.. just my 2 cents, but I think it's very important for you to take each day as it is and as it comes and make the commitment to do it without drinking.. to try not to be too hard on yourself for time that has already passed. I know a lot of people (including myself) who drank a lot the first weeks of pregnancy, not knowing we were pregnant... and the kids are more than fine. It is very important to stop now, though.. and as Pav said, I agree, that if you can't, go to your doctor for help. Let us know how you are!

Ava, I've also been wondering about Mads..:love:

Ok, that's all I can remember.. I have to go back and re-read, 'cause I know I wanted to respond to others..
oh, Welcome back LostSoul! and Byrdie, I've also been feeling like about a buck o' five as far as weight goes. I seem to have forgotten how to lose a couple.. though I think being sick may have helped.. ughh!

big Hugs to everyone stopping/flying by..

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava, I really like your response about not putting too much stress on ourselves for drinking.. that is counter productive, as there is nothing we can do about what has already been done. We can however learn from our past "mistakes" and do things differently. In the end, I was beginning to wonder whether or not I was a lost cause, whether or not I could change the path I've been on for so many years, whether or not I had the strength.. but when I look at those of you who have done it, and how much happier you are (all the long term sober people I've ever met say that regardless of how difficult life can be, they wouldn't trade in their sobriety for anything) I have hope and then courage to do it. I loved reading what you wrote about the second year, too..

and what Orimus wrote in the Rollcall.. that he imagines his ideal average day and strives to go forward towards that star each and every day.. I love the image of going forward towards a star.

Roobs, you're doing such a great job.. and you, too, Pauly..:hug: to you both.. and Hypernova, thinking of you, too. :hug:

ok. see you all later.