Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav - hope your project feels a bit more within your comfort zone soon! Being AF sure does help though, doesn't it?!

Ava - glad you got through that day and then were able to sneak in some needed naptime. Best part is that you felt so supported by your s.o. - that truly is a beautiful thing.

NS - have a fantastic vacation and relish in your freedom without wine o'clock rolling around on the daily! OMG, I don't miss that type of planning and stashing at all. I was never really a wine drinker - more beer as a daily - but for trips like that I'd stash bottles of harder stuff in my bags or wherever simply because they took up far less space. Ugh, those were NOT the good old days...

Roobs - hope you get some rest and feel better soon :hug:

Lav - sounds like you had a good weekend - always nice!

LC - glad to hear you're feeling more on top of things and ready for your girls to return. Yes, one more weekend day would be nice!


Things are going well here. I had a very full work day yesterday. Yes, a lot of my work comes on weekends, which is hard sometimes but I'm in charge of my schedule so I can also arrange weekends off, and I can also make sure I then get weekdays off as my own weekends instead. For example, I'm off today until just two clients I'll meet with from 4:30-8pm. It's crunch time, as almost everyone's deadlines are coming up in the next 3 weeks, so many of my clients are asking for extra classes etc. Good for my bottom line, especially after losing so much work after my car accident, but a bit exhausting. I could never ever have done this while drinking!

You know, after hitting the 400-day milestone yesterday I think I'm more aware than I was back on Day 365 that I've truly been AF for a whole stinkin' trip around the sun. It's really sinking in now that I'm coming across my "second" experiences with certain times of year without drinking. As I look back, I've been through a LOT of crap without a during the past 400 days - just about every stressor and celebration imaginable, so pretty much every excuse/reason/opportunity to drink. And now I'm sitting here, finally getting my fitness back after my injuries have mostly healed, watching my business respond to my efforts to grow it and steer it in a new direction, loving my home and family life, and appreciating every drop of it.

I started my quit 401 days ago fearing that if I didn't I was going to die from something related to al - either a stupid mistake/accident, or a health problem caused or exacerbated by al. I really truly was afraid that I was killing myself and absolutely pouring my life down the drain. I didn't really feel that quitting was a choice, but a true necessity. Now, everything has done a complete 180. My health is exponentially better, I'm SO much happier, I'm excited and motivated - I finally feel like all of the bad al effects are gone except for enough of the memories to keep me in check.

500 days, here I come!!!

:yay:

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava, what a relief, Im so happy that your boob is ok, AND that your mammogram turned out normal! Bahahaha.

Busy day here, at 3 this afternoon, the boss asks me to get a meeting for meeting for Wednesday so he can come down and work with me. UGG. I shifted into high gear, no luck yet.

Getting windy and wet here, I hope Irma stays offshore. Hugs to all! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nester,

Still have my granddaughter here until tomorrow so I am happy

Ava, glad to hear your news & glad to hear you felt supported by friends near & far :hug:

Wags, I remember feeling & thinking differently during my 2nd AF year - good for you! Continue to grow stronger & even more confident in your abilities as you move forward

LC, Roobs & everyone, good to see all of you!
NS, enjoy your AF vacation.
Byrdie, don't let them work yo to death - seriously! We have rain moving in here tomorrow as well.

Have a safe night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hit day 90 here today. That was my goal when I joined another site One Year No Beer. Every day is a new personal best, and I plan to keep going. Anbody say 120? Feeling better everyday. It is so worth it.
Had a dream last night that I was drinking beer, because I made 90. I was in a vehicle while drinking. Mrs. V was not a happy camper. Glad it was just a dream
Well done on 400 Wags! can you say 500?
Onward!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Congratulations, Mr. V! I love the 90 day milestone. Feels so big. Only 10 more days to 100.

Glad you're good, Ava, and glad you had someone to take care of you - you deserve it.

Wags, you're on it. I think each year has had me thinking and feeling differently. I had that same feeling when I came here - I was slowly killing myself, and I was so afraid. Here's to THAT being in the past.

NS, I had an incognito window, too. The picture of the book when I clicked the link had a blurb on it - "Saved my life." - Pavati. It was a little freaky.

Hope you all have lovely days.

xo
Pav

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone!

I’m back - again, again.

Sorry it took me so long to check back in. To be completely honest, I re-read my post later that day and was insanely mortified by what I wrote (ya’ll didn’t need to know those details about me, good lord.) So, my apologies for the waaaaay too much information.

And therefore I didn’t log back in and so now I’m only on day 3. :-/ Thank you all for the kind words, will check in to see others stories about early drinking/pregnancy, because, well - I got a positive test yesterday. I have anecdotal evidence that drinking early doesn’t do any harm (my toddler) but I promised myself I wouldn’t ruin my next experience with alcohol and I clearly did.

Because of my negative tests earlier this month and at the ER I’m 95% sure I’m not still pregnant from the last time, but I also have high, high, high anxiety in which the 5% takes over. My doctor won’t see me until two weeks from now, so I’ll at least have to wait to express my concerns until then. I’m going without my husband (he doesn’t know I think I have a problem - although I’m guessing he’s noticed to some degree) and I intend to be fully honest with the doctor about the amount I was drinking.

I feel a bit like I’m taking the easy way out. Morning sickness has taken over with a vengeance - so no food, let alone alcohol sounds good. All I want to do is sleep (which with a full time job + toddler is impossible.) I won’t have an issue giving up alcohol during pregnancy - after I found out with my daughter, I only had alcohol on three occasions - 1/2 beer on my birthday because my mom found some suuuuuuper rare beer that I had wanted. 1/2 glass champagne at my cousins wedding and full glass of champagne on New Years. In each of these instances I was well into my 3rd trimester.

But of course after I gave birth I went right back to my old ways, silently celebrating that I was a “cheap date” again and could get away with 2 glasses of wine. Which eventually turned into 3…4…5…6…7…8, you know the drill.

Right now I’m going to stop Google’ing and try to stay positive. Focus on the stupid amount of work I have to get done before we go on vacation next week. This will be my first vacation sans booze, but knowing I’m pregnant will make it 10x easier not to drink. But I’ll definitely miss my day drinking during naptime whilst reading a book on the lake.

Plan to check in more regularly and read some more posts. Thanks again guys for not thinking I’m a crazy person for the amount of info I shared. To be fair, I was hella hungover.

[Londoner]

Re: Newbies Nest

I've let booze take over again for a week; it erodes my values, personality and actions.

Tomorrow I see my GP about my 'stop binge drinking' options. I am going to ask about Antabuse, as I believe that in the short term I need that barrier to stop me drinking.

That turning point in my life is here; if I keep drinking my health, social life, family life and financial circumstances will be destroyed.

I want to find out what I am really about in this life; alcohol has left me passive, fake and unsure of myself.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, all!
I couldn't get on to MWO yesterday for some reason.
Moon, we share all sorts of things here...please don't feel ashamed, we all have one very important thing in common.....we are alcoholics. If you are finally ready to get this monkey off your back, you now have a golden opportunity! Seize it!
Londoner, my opinion is to do whatever it takes to break free of this addiction.....none of the treatments are worse than the ailment. This thing will kill us if it isn't stopped. I admire you for taking the steps needed to get yourself some help.
Happy Hump Day, all, Byrdie

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Moonking - As Byrdie said, we share all sorts of things here. Glad you've jumped into the nest. Great first steps in taking care of your developing baby, but also in taking care of YOU. There's some butt-velcro around here in the nest someplace - meant to help people stay in the nest and protect their quits - grab a bunch of it and strap yourself in nice and tight!

Londoner - sounds like a good plan with your Dr. I have great respect for your willingness to be honest and seek help - that takes a great deal of strength, and it says a lot about your commitment to making your quit stick. Please keep us posted. Maybe grab some of that velcro once moonking is done with it?

Thanks to all who shared their thoughts and experiences around year TWO of their quits. It is a very different trip around the sun this time. Everything feels much more solid - my whole mindset about al has changed and it rarely crosses my mind anymore. I'm aware of how much more time and energy I have for other things, and I can clearly see how much more I'm actually living my life while AF. Such a contrast to the advertisements that try to show that drinking IS the path to enjoying life - no, it isn't. It's all a gigantic lie.

I know that I'm solid, but I'm also aware that this is no time to become complacent or let down my guard. Nope, this girl is gonna protect her quit with all she's got! I love having the nest as my touchstone - my place to check in every day and keep myself accountable. Thanks to all of you for this little community we have. :heartbeat:

Have fantastic days/eves everyone!!!

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day 4! Hooray. Put a counter on my phone because I clearly can't remember anything anymore.

Drinking crossed my mind last night as I was cleaning - because I used to always do that with a drink in hand. But reminded myself, I have to be sober now and need to focus on building tools to stay sober after I give birth.

Been focusing on eating really healthy and working out - my morning sickness has been squelched, further proof for me that I am more like 4 weeks vs. 8 weeks. I'm thinking it was a surge in hormones.

There is something I'm quite excited about - my husband went to the doctor and told him basically he needs to cut out his beer drinking, so my husband has decided to go on a hiatus for awhile. (Maybe partly because he no longer has a drinking partner? I dunno.) But he really wants to lose some weight and he thinks cutting out booze will help with that. I agree! So that means even less temptation, because it won't even be in the house.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see the site is back up & working today - couldn't get on yesterday.

moonking, congrats to you & I hope you continue on your AF path. That would be best for you & your baby of course

Londoner, I hope you get the help you need to get yourself going on your AF path. It's always best t be honest with your doc & be specific about what you want. They really are not mind readers.

Hello to everyone & wishing for a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

Wags, I love hearing about your experiences going in to the second year! Although I know I'm supposed to be enjoying the journey (and for the most part I am) I can't wait to have the peace of mind, clarity and strength that comes with long time sobriety. For it to really feel like, "this is my life!". Keep sharing.. it inspires.

Moonking, glad to see you back here and sounding strong. Healthy eating and exercise is the way to go.. for me it's absolutely essential. It's great that your husband is jumping aboard with you.

Londoner, good to see you back here. I also think it's a great idea to go to your doctor for help. Keep us posted on how you're doing. :hug:

Not much going on in my neck of the woods.. I've been struggling a bit trying to deal with regrets. Trying to keep my mind in a positive place and it's mostly working. I really wish I hadn't wasted so much of my life drinking. I am happy that I'm finally getting it.. but there's a bit of sadness about the past. One day at a time!
Big hugs to all of you lovely Nesters..

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, that is part of the process. I think this is an awful lot like the grieving stages...Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Maybe you are at the depression stage and while it sucks, look how far down the path you are.....and look what's next! Accpetance is the place to be! Hang in!

I'm taking Friday off, so will have 4 day weekend.... years ago, this would have sent me in to hunting and gathering mode....to make sure I had enough booze to last while the liquor stores are closed. I remember so vividly one year our neighborhood was having a pot luck. I made the appetizer, sat it on the counter and decided to close my eyes for a few minutes (needless to say I was loaded) When woke up, my husband was sitting in his chair, it was dark outiside, and my appetizer was still on the counter. I had passed out and slept thru the party. I will NEVER forget the look of fear and disgust on my husband's face. Could you imagine being married to us? I'm so glad I can tell the story in past tense. I HATE AL Do I miss it? HELL NO!
Happy Thursday! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All

I am amazed at how many people say to me, "we need a drink!" posing it as a reward. I even find myself saying it because it is so much a part of the culture that everyone knows what I mean - this is a stressful situation. I think I'm going to start saying "We need a hike," or "we need a hug!"

Moonking - CONGRATULATIONS! When I got pregnant I had been drinking - I thought I had cramps and my aunt always told me the cure for that was gin (she didn't specify how much). My doc said it was pretty common for women to have had alcohol before they knew they were pregnant. Like I said before, I wish I had taken the pregnancy to work on remaining sober afterwards, but I was in big denial back then. As a matter of fact, it was after my second child that my drinking really started ramping up.

Londoner - I think talking to your doctor could only help. I am so glad you're keeping on. Any other ideas about shifting plans so this one sticks? A young persons sobriety group?

LC and Byrdie - I have several embarrassing moments I'd rather not think about but pop up from time to time. One involves a wrestling match at a party, and I'll just leave it at that...:egad: Good thing those days are over.

Happy Thursday, all.

Pav

[Londoner]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just back from the GP. I've got the prescription to Antabuse. He, as I knew, said it is more important to get to the route of the problem. He has given me information therapeutic help.

For now, I have the roadblock to drinking - drink and I get severely ill. So the habit is to take the tablet and break through my 60 day AL free record, and build some good habits and strengthen my mental and physical health.

Meditation, exercise and nutrition habits will be important - which will be easier to build without hangovers. I will then look into the therapy if needed.

Feeling positive.