Newbies Nest

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:


Hypernova - welcome back. It IS incredibly stressful to deal with a parent with dementia. I have one, also. He, too, was very good at hiding it until he wasn't. Someone else just said this, but after I had quit for a while I realized that a lot of my anxiety was actually CAUSED by alcohol. Although I am in a lot of stress right now because of many family health problems as well as a new and demanding project at work, my anxiety level is nowhere near where it was when I am drinking. I know you know this, but getting distance from alcohol will only help you get through this trying time. And you have the whole nest behind you...




Pav

Thanks for the welcome. I was smiling when I first read this b/c I was already thinking this. Where does the stress from an outside event begin and end. What is coming from internal issues that are exacerbated by the stress and what is coming from an external event like a sick family member. It is very interesting. Whenever I have gotten sick in the past my anxiety increases dramatically. But how much of it is caused by the drinking? I always wondered what the anxiety was and would have a hard time deciding at some point where the line was and if it was the illness or something else (alcohol) causing me to feel so awful. I do know one thing (hopefully) and that is that at one point in my life I thought alcohol was an ally to be counted on and now I see that I fooled myself for years. Fortunately I now know that when we drink we are only looking to feel better. Our reward center is wired into us and when we feel bad/anxious/mad/upset/threatened/depressed/etc. our brain remembers and wants to feel better. So we look for that hit of feel good in our reward center (dopamine) and use various things to like shopping, gambling, overeating, sex & alcohol or whatever to feel 'better'. What I have to keep in mind is that there are better choices to be made and alcohol is not on the list. I have always turned to exercise and drinking not realizing that alcohol was such a problem for me internally. Now I know and really have no excuse. My recent quit of 6 mos. was rolling along quite nicely w/me feeling great riding my bike several times a week. Now I am going to add meditation and maybe trying some yoga. Since I live in the northeast joining a gym for the winter seems like a must though I am an outside type of person. Phew! Well here's to ODAT and better choices to handle the stress of what I am going through with this dementia care giving. Thanks for the words Pav and I will try to keep my posts to a manageable size. Posting more often would be the solution. Thanks to everyone for being here and listening. I do appreciate the thoughtful responses. best to everyone ~ hyper

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Londoner,
I remember being scared to death of what the future was going to hold for me without AL. It was just unthinkable. It had been by my side thru thick and thin....all my friends drink, my hubs drinks, my coworkers drink, how am I going to function in a world where everyone drinks but me? Answer? JUST GREAT. You are going to be amazed at the growth you will experience. Trust me, AL only held us back. You are about to discover your authentic self and you will like what you see. It is natural and normal to be anxious, you arent getting your 'fix'. In another two days you will feel so proud, and ready for this new life....its yours for the taking! Good things are ahead! Hang in! Byrdie

Hola Nesters. Love this Byrdy. true. Thank you.

Thinking of you and your mum NS. Great stuff Londoner! My thoughts are also with my friends in the U.S. with the hurricane, fires and chaos that's causing there.

Hi LC. I'm interested in those links you mentioned to Londoner in your last post if you have time to send them? thanks, hope you're good.

Doing real good here. Got my sobriety, my physical health, my mind, my guitar, and a big bright today and future. What am i gonna complain about? Ok, i ain't got the girl, but that'll come. Big waves to everyone! L8tr g8tr's.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

G, you are so right, we have so much to be thankful for! Not the least of which are our friends here!

It was a long day of checking the latest storm travk of Irma. Im not gonna lie, we are worried! Taking precautions and getting ready, many neighbors have called asking us to bring in some things that might blow around, which we are happy to do. Most of my customers are in the territory thats about to get hammered, so nobody's mind is on buying my stuff (mine included).

Im glad that AL isnt a factor in all this, Mr G is right, ia DO have much to be grateful for. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Byrdie, it is scary watching the track of Irma - still don't know for sure which way she'll turn
Are you considering evacuating just for your sanity? My friends just moved into their newly built home in Florida about three weeks ago. I am worried about them as well.
Want to come visit Lav????

Hypernova, I lost my post last night but I was trying to tell you to hang in there & just do the best you can. Even seasoned health care pros like myself feel the frustration & exhaustion in dealing with dementia patients. Nothing has to be perfect, just work to assure her safety first :hug:

We had rain move in again this afternoon but at least it's getting cooler. Fall will arrive soon enough I suppose.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav, yes, we are making plans to evacuate. We are doing preliminary preparations, waiting to see just exactly what she does on Saturday. Very stressful. I look around the house and ask myself what is truly irreplaceable. When I ask myself that hard question, the only thing that I'd be SICK if I lost is my lifetime supply of Urinary Tract Infection drugs! Not sure what to do about the photos and yearbooks, etc yet. In 1999 when our neighborhood evacuated for Floyd, our neighbors packed all their photos in their car and headed up to Raleigh. Overnight, the parking lot flooded and everything in their car was ruined. Plus, we all nearly died trying to get back home afterwards because the roads were flooded. What a mess. I'm dreading it all....but I am grateful for one thing.....I AM SOBER.
I'll keep you posted. Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Be safe Byrdie.

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

I know a few people here are in Irma's track, especially you Byrdie. As is my Mom and sister. Sending strength to all. Be safe.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

So sorry for all of you hurricane and fire people - crazy times for mother nature for sure. Stay safe out there.

Roobs - got some good exercise yesterday, and I feel good. Thanks for the inspiration. Annoyingly, I didn't sleep well last night - I kept waking up and thinking about things. That hasn't happened in a while...

Off to work. Happy Sober Thursday.

Pav

[ssd858]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - what part of Fla are you in? Be safe lady! Visiting Lav sounds like a plan!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

SSD, I live on the southern coast of North Caroline, almost at the South Caroline border. I figure worst case it gets here at a category 2, best case, it gets here as a category 1. In either case, we are out of here. Riding out a hurricane sucks. My heart goes out to the residents of FL, who are taking the full brunt of it. My brother is making his way up the coast to Jacksonville, but it looks like they will get is also, but not as bad as where he lives.

Lav may have to clear the sofa of chickens, Byrdie is on the way! BAH!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Byrdie, I have already told the chickens to make room because BYRDIE may be coming over, ha ha!
I'm reading that anyone evacuating ahead of Irma should pack up important papers that you may need for insurance companies later on. And to take video or pictures of every room in your house to be sure that all contents are covered, just in case. I sure hope it doesn't get that bad :hug:
Our old friend Kaslo up in BC is dealing with smoke & poor air quality due to all the forest fires going on out on the west coast. What is happening to our earth?

I am grateful to be alive & healthy & should be ready to take on anything that comes our way. Times like this would have freaked me out in the past & left me feeling hopeless & helpless. Not any more, Lav is in complete control of everything now, except the weather of course.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest, look out for one another!

Lav

[ssd858]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy to hear that the Byrdie girl is on her way to Lav's house of chickens

My brother left Key West yesterday and drove (yes, drove) to Houston to be with his children. He made it there safely.

I hope all are being safe and Sober in this crazy time.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters..

Thinking of you, Byrdie, and all of you affected by the storms and fires. Sending strength.. I've never had to deal with evacuating and thinking about what I would take with me.. Lav, good tips with taking important papers, pictures, etc...

Hypernova, :hug: your last post was inspiring to me. Thank you..

Big hugs to everyone stopping or flying by today.
xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all. Wishing you Byrdy, and anyone in the hurricane's path or near the fires safe passage!

All good here. Take it easy.

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone,

Byrdie, be safe. I hope the eye of Irma takes an unexpected turn or downgrades significantly. Mother Nature seems to be pissed off right now. I worry for all of those in harms way. We have some friends in the virgin islands, all we know is that they are safe but no knowledge of damage etc...
Hang in there everyone.
Roobs