Newbies Nest

[Jane E]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you for the welcomes! Worked my way a bit through some of the toolbox and will continue to poke away at it. Day one done! (just keep swimming just keep swimming!!)

Hope everyone has a nice day!

Jane

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you for the welcomes! Worked my way a bit through some of the toolbox and will continue to poke away at it. Day one done! (just keep swimming just keep swimming!!)

Hope everyone has a nice day!

Jane

Hi Jane! Welcome to MWO and the Nest Glad you found us, and the tool box is a fantastic place to find strategies, motivation, helpful hints, and just all around great resources to help you with your quit. When you feel ready, feel free to introduce yourself a bit. No need to disclose anything you aren't comfortable with, but one thing you'll find here is that we are all in this together and if there's one group of people who can relate to and understand some of what you've likely been going through, it's us nesters!

I love the "just keep swimming" little mantra - I use that one myself all the time. Thanks Dory

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I, too, often didn't have an off switch. I could find it sometimes if necessary, but there were MANY times when I was resolved to only drink X amount and went way over. My friend is dating a guy who she just told me has not off switch. She knows I quit drinking and maybe why, but my red flags are up all over the place. I don't think he's going to find one...

Welcome, Jane. Tell us a little about yourself. We're all here to support each other.

Wags - I am navigating the alcohol culture with my teenagers right now. I know they think I am a SQUARE because I actually told them there are many things that are more fun without, but of course every adult party they ever go to the first question we get asked is "what do you want to drink?" Of course they don't believe what they hear from me, but what they see from just about everywhere else. Ultimately, they'll have to figure it out on their own - I just want to give them the benefit of my experience.

Mr. G - Yoga mat and meditation every day is amazing. I need to get that into my rotation. My shoulders are getting old before their years because of too much computer time these days.

Happy SOBER Hump Day, All.

Pav

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day 18. Daily reminders that waking up sober is so much better than a hangover. Watched a TV show where they were making fun of someone for having a hella hangover and all I could think was: "OMG that used to be me and I remember how awful that feeling is."

Welcome, Jane! I'm a newbie at all this and have found the Nest very supportive and keeps me accountable.

Pav - I wish my parents would have discussed alcohol with me as a teenager. I remember the first time I got drunk and even then didn't have an off switch at 17. Should have recognized it then. Should have recognized my mom's behavior in myself when I'd get crazy out of control emotional when too drunk (yeah...I was never the "fun" drunk.) I watch my mom still drink too much and still get too emotional and still make stupid excuses for why she throws up in the morning. "Must be nerves!" "Ugh, why is my stomach so out of control??" No, Mom, you're in your 60's and drank 2 bottle of cheap red wine last night. I know my family has a quiet history of drinking too much. No one has ever been jailed or arrested or done anything life altering...but realizing I had a problem made me look at their habits as well. My husband's grandparents were hard core alcoholics (but that was in the 30's and 40's...) so his parents don't touch the stuff. I'm hopeful my kids can have a healthy relationship with it (is there such a thing?) or ignore it all together. I hope that by the time my kids are teenagers (we're very far away from that!!) I can be open and honest with them about my issues and I hope I can tell them that I'm 15 years sober by that time. Baby steps, gotta tell the hubs first like ya'll advised.

Hope everyone has a great rest of the day.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Checking in. Feeling blech here. Getting through it.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nesters
I'm afraid I haven't had a chance to read back or post but just have one little insight to share: Dealing with a hospitalized, opiod-addicted parent with dementia and intolerable pain is not for sissies - or drunks. I've been grateful many times over the last almost 5 years to have gotten this millstone of addiction off me but never more than now. This is awful. I don't think I could drink at the moment even if I wanted to and can barely eat. But the greatest thing is, I have no desire to drink and the thought seems ludicrous. I know I'll need to stay alert to let-down and complacency when and if we're ever out of crisis mode but for now, my main point is, almost all of us eventually will face situations where we absolutely have to be the Adult in the Room. I so hope you're free and ready for it. xx, NS

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day 18. Daily reminders that waking up sober is so much better than a hangover. Watched a TV show where they were making fun of someone for having a hella hangover and all I could think was: "OMG that used to be me and I remember how awful that feeling is."

Right about that moonking. Hangovers are the pits x10!! Congrats on Day 18!! I used to get massive hangovers that could last for 2 days. Now I don't drink to that point if drinking at all. I am much happier not drinking. Am striving to be alcohol free. Had almost 6 mos. in earlier in the year. Stress took me down and now I am in the fight of my life. The anxiety is almost unbearable from my family situation. I am doing my best ODAT. Almost lost it yesterday and had probably a 3 hour marathon battle in my head not to drink. Somehow I made it through the day, don' ask me how. But they say if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger'. So then I am much stronger today, hopefully! I really am trying to adjust to this caregiver thing but think I may be in over my head. I know anxiety to well and how to deal with it through nutrition and exercise but have never had it be so unrelenting. I am a little scared of it. Have lost too much weight from not being interested in food and am now beginning to eat even though I don't feel like I want to. Family matters are so challenging sometimes and right now it's a very rough patch. I really do appreciate all the posts here and the people b/c for sure w/o this place my situation would have me back at the alcohol. Anyway I will work through each day. I do not want to drink but my mind is searching for relief and I know that when you get to a point that there are better choices. I am physically ill from the stress and know that AL would only add to that even if it gives me short term 'relief'. I always used to say "all I can promise is I will not drink today". Now I can't even think of saying that b/c I don't know if I can make it happen. So here's to not drinking at the moment and hopefully plodding through the day w/o AL. Day 10 is more than halfway done. So I think I can make it until tomorrow. thanks for being here, hyper

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening, nesters.
NS Your post is so inspiring. I just hate that you are in deep water. I totally get what you are saying. I was so grateful for my sobriety when I was sitting with my dad back in early 2013. I was exhausted but able to think and be part of solutions instead of part of the problem. The gift of time away from AL made it one less thing I had to worry about. AL was no longer a crutch. I learned new coping skills right here in this nest. One day at a time, one moment at a time. Hang in there, everyone, it IS worth it. Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters.

NS, Hyper, MK, Jane, Kensho, i am thinking of you all and carry you with me into this sunny, windy Oz day. Today, i am the adult in the room as i visit some younger family for lunch. Just gotta keep on pushing through. Booze is very short term relief with a sting in it's tail as the backlash from drinking hits us and makes us feel even more sad, depressed, angry and the other side benefit is boozing just makes me useless. No boozing for this fella today.

Pavi, i'm loving the yoga mat. I just do a little bit, but i do it every morning now without fail. Daily practice is becoming my lifeline. = Sadhana.

Get some self lovin' in today y'all.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Today we are having some remnants from Irma moving thru. it's only light rain & a good deal of fog & a ton of tropical like humidity. So, I am not complaining but the humidity does make my hair look like hell, Lol.

NS & Hypernova, I really feel for the both of you right now.
I have been thru all that with our 4 parents & some of our grandparents too. Hang in there & don't feel guilty if you feel a tremendous sense of relief when the crisis is over. We are all just here doing the best we can :hug:

Sounds like everyone is working hard & moving forward in their AF lives, yay!!!
Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

As always thanks for the replies, they definitely help me to get through the day AF. Safe to say it is on to day 11 tomorrow b/c there is only ten minutes left in the day and no way in hell do I fall today. So glad I had an aha moment tonight. I really have not been eating much at all b/c I just did not feel like it. Funny when I am stressed to the max I don't want food and I especially do not want to drink b/c I know it does not help, quite the opposite it becomes part of the stress.
Like Guitarista says "Booze is very short term relief with a sting in it's tail as the backlash from drinking hits us and makes us feel even more sad, depressed, angry and the other side benefit is boozing just makes me useless. No boozing for this fella today." So I can't afford to be useless and the sting is more expensive than I can afford.
My weight is way down. Probably to the unhealthy level for sure. So now I am eating whether I feel like it or not. Stress or not if I put food in front of me I will eat, period. So I realized something tonight after eating some dinner. Your body considers lack of food or starvation as a stress to the body. I read this somewhere a while back but forgot about it until after I ate tonite. The stress and tightness in my chest melted away and I realized I have been harming myself and adding to the stress w/o realizing until I felt the relief. I already know this but I guess my brain is not working like it should right now. Even reading my earlier post today I used the word nutrition. So up in the a.m. for a solid breakfast. Slightly relieved and feeling good tonight. Best to everyone, hyper

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Welcome Jane to the nest. A wealth of information here and we are all here for the same reason, we are alcoholics. If it was not for this site i cant even imagine where i would be now or even if i would be here. No one will ever pass judgement on you and everyone understands all the stages of stopping al.

Oh Pav the reason i cant ever drink again is i dont have an off switch, i certainly know i have an on switch if i drink and i dont think i could turn it off if i started drinking again.

NS thinking of you during this time and sending you lots of hugs. I know that being with Robert while he battled cancer for two years and i was sober was a proud time for me and for him. he was one of the first people i told about my drinking problem and that i had given up and i promised him i would never drink because of him and i havent. i miss him very much and our chats but i am keeping my promise. All the things we dont think we can deal with sober we learn to and each time makes us stronger emotionally to deal with the next.

Sorry you feel blah Kensho but as the days roll on the benefits are to be felt. Yes after all this time of sobriety i am happy and content. who would have thought that the oldies were right, that sobriety was great.

Hyper, thinking of you. Take each day as it comes as that is all you can do. i remember when i first stopped drinking turning in circles wanting my al brain to just stop and those are the days i never ever want to return to.

Yesterday my brother would have been 56 if al had not taken him. A reflective day and one wishing that he had the opportunities to stop that i have now. hard to believe it will be ten years in December.

Life is going along pretty well for me in Ausland, still not heard anything about an interview for this job but trying not to worry too much, what will be will be. Off to the mans tomorrow and we have his twin nearly 5 year old grandsons saturday night. Cant wait for all the excitement and hugs and love and the collapsing in a heap when they go.

Hi to everyone i have missed.

Where are you LC and London?

Take care x

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Hypernova - good insight. I am the opposite with food and stress. I over eat. That ALSO causes stress, come to think of it.

NoSugar - So sorry about your mom and I'm so glad you're not even thinking about drinking. I had a situation when my dad was in the hospital a couple of years ago. I was at my mom's for dinner - she was a couple of drinks in - when somehow we realized the hospital had gotten his medication wrong and we had to drive in to figure it out. Thankfully I wasn't drinking so I was able to both sort it out at home and find his medication AND drive in to the hospital to do what was needed. I really don't know what we would have done had I been drinking as usual.

Ava - Now THAT sounds like a Saturday night. Good luck with the job.

This week has been slightly hellish - I'll be glad when it is over. Two. More. Days.

Pav

[Jane E]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning - Back for Day 3! Bit dodgy last night - I usually have a couple of (large) glasses of wine while making dinner - but stuffed in some french bread with about a pound of European butter and that seemed to help (my liver but not my hips).

I've been reading your comments about an Off Switch. I didn't come with one of those. There is most definitely a fully-functioning On Switch though!!

At work right now - more later - just want to try to check in, even very briefly, every day to keep me on track. Hope everyone has a fabby day!

Jane

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sending strength your way, NS and Hyper.
good to see you back here Kensho.
Welcome Jane, stick around, even if you fall. I have many times.