Newbies Nest

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone,

NS, hyper, you both seem to have a lot on your plate with family illness. My heart goes out to you both. Dealing with illness and death is never easy. If you were drinking through it or at it, just imagine how you would miss out on the tiny little moments of connection with your loved one. I know if it were me and I was drinking, I would be impatient and bitter that this was happening TO ME! When I'm not drinking, I'm able to be in the moment and focus on the task at hand vs. trying to strategize when I can guzzle away.

Hyper, eating will also help to stave off the al cravings. Keep your belly full, eat some good fats, like avacodo to keep you satiated. I found in the beginning staying full was key to minimizing cravings.

Wags, what a great post! I concur, it should be added to the tool box! You sound amazing.

Hello to everyone, I'm so thankful for this community.

Happy sober Thursday.
Roobs

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] - Sending you tremendous hugs during this difficult time. I think that emergencies or other particularly trying times are potential trip-up times for some people, but when we stay sober through them we gain an even clearer realization of how al does nothing but hinder our ability to cope and respond. My heart goes out to you AND to your mom - having intractable pain is not only painful (obviously), it's exhausting!!! I hope you are both able to get some relief very soon. :heartbeat: :hug:

Moon & Pav - interesting discussion about teens and al. I kinda wish my folks had talked with me as well, although I'm not sure it would've done much good. Actually, I had the opposite type of environment to navigate - neither of my parents drank, ever. I'm not sure my mom ever did in her whole life, and when my dad spoke of it, it was always way back when he was in the army or in college - nothing that I ever witnessed. So in some ways I grew up with nothing but what I heard in the media and what I saw with my friends and their parents - it was a big mysterious "other world" that I was way too curious about, and I had very little understanding of the serious consequences. Sigh...


Well, I'm off on a short weekend out of town to visit family. I do NOT want to go, but I need to as a support to my spouse. Some of them are the "drive you to drink" types, and although I know I won't be doing that, I'm not excited to spend 3-4 days in their company. I guess we all have things we'd rather not do, and this one is minor by comparison. If I'm not able to sign in for a few days, it's just due to the whirlwind and potentially limited access - I'll check back in next week for sure, and I'm definitely NOT going to drink!

[Mick]

Re: Newbies Nest

no sugar..thanks for the post...glad you are doing ok...I mean with the coping with the situation you are managing..yes we all go through the mill...you look around the boards ...most of us have got ruff tuff time to deal with or dealt with..I cannot imagine going back to drunksville and trying to get a handle on it all..thinking you and keep your inner strength bless you

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome Jane,

I remember the first couple of days af I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I would literally have an ichyness from the inside out. This happened during the witching hours anywhere from 4-8pm. Some suggestions for you, switch up your routine. If making dinner is a trigger, maybe order out instead, go for a walk, go to the store for hair products or something. Go for an ice cream and forget about dinner. In the early days, don't worry about getting everything done, just worry about yourself. It's not selfish, it's necessary. Keep logging on MWO. You can do this!
Roobs

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day 19.

NS - sorry you are dealing with that and that you are sober.

Hyper - as I got older my hangovers tended to last longer and longer. But of course, more wine at night could do wonders to cure those feelings. Until the morning. I’m sorry you are dealing with family issues. You’re right, one day at a time. And congrats on the 3 hour marathon - you managed to not drink. Give yourself props for that. I know those feelings well and it does feel like you ran an actual marathon. Anxiety is no joke. I often wish people without anxiety could live in my head for a day because I think it would make them more understanding. I hate dealing with anxiety.

I tend to go between overeating and undereating when I’m stressed. If I’m stressed and bored, overeating for sure. If I’m stressed and busy, undereating. Alcohol never helped me under eat though, that’s for sure. :-/ That’s another positive I keep trying to remind myself of - the calorie savings by not drinking. I don’t even want to calculate the amount of calories from wine consumed in a night. Although when you substitute it with ice cream, I’m not sure I’m saving much - lol!

Jane - great job on day 3! The first few days suck. I used to have a couple of very large glasses while cooking as well. I don’t cook much, so it was a “treat” when I would cook - oh yay, wine! Which would always spiral downward (upward?) to 3-4 more glasses throughout the night. Like Roobs said, I have to keep my hands busy. On days I can’t take it, I’ll pour seltzer water and cherry grenadine in a wine glass. It’s like my body is craving SOMETHING in my hand.

Had my first prenatal appointment today and was completely honest with the nurse. She reassured me that with all the negative tests and whatnot it was extremely unlikely that I am farther along (10ish weeks) than I truly am (6ish weeks.) She couldn’t say with 100% certainty, but she said that if I got positive tests, then negatives and now positives, that’s a good indication that I miscarried and am just pregnant again. That’s refreshing to hear and she was not concerned about the drinking I did before I got my positive test this time. She said she only counts after the positive test and I said that I hadn’t had a drop and didn’t plan to. (I did drink 2-3 glasses of wine TOTAL when I was pregnant with my daughter, but I don’t plan on doing that this time of course.) She did an HCG draw which will give us an indication of how far along I am, but not a definite. Won’t find out 100% until our ultrasound in about 2 weeks.

My weight was up at the doctor and my pants don’t fit, so I’m feeling gross. Trying not to let it get me down. I’m really bad at regulating eating - I’m an all or nothing person. I know I shouldn’t lose weight, but I’d prefer not to gain 50 pounds this time like I did with my daughter. I’ve cut out soda completely and am trying to limit processed food, sugar (except for my ice cream!), fast food and stick to whole grains, nuts, seeds, all the crap I don’t want to eat when all I want is french fries and chinese food.

OK - back to work after this lovely break from the looming tasks I have to get done today! I’m grateful to be clear headed instead of being in a hangover fog.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all,
Quick fly by. Wishing everyone a cozy night in the nest. All good here. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Great to see everyone doing so well!

Nothing much happening in my world today but I am looking forward to spending a few hours with my grandsons tomorrow after school. It's weird not seeing them so much now that they are both in school full time but kids do grow up I am proud that they have never seen me touch a drop of AL or smoke since they were born. They were my primary motivators for my quits, bless them.

Have a safe night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[Jane E]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone and happy Friday! Made it through Day 3. It was nice not to have to go through hangover mitigation procedures last night: vitamins, supplements, endless glasses of water, activated charcoal, exercise before bed, etc etc - all in an effort to lessen the inevitable hangover that could be eliminated entirely if just one thing were taken out of the equation....

But I do still feel a bit "hungover" - think it might be the large bowl of ice cream after dinner these past few nights. So much sugar.

(I did a liver cleanse a couple of months back - 6 days of no protein/fat (or AL of course) - and I felt fabulously clear headed. I guess not just AL but all that other junk we put in doesn't help matters...)

So - yay - the weekend is here, but I know it will be tough as well.

Thank you all for your warm welcomes! I hope everyone enjoys the weekend!

Jane

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Drinking dream last night - it has been a LONG time. In my dream I woke up and couldn't remember what had happened. I was in bed trying to piece it together, feeling awful and guilty, and wondering how I was going to face my friends because I was so embarrassed. Then I woke up (in my dream) and realized it was a dream - WHAT A RELIEF!? A very great reminder of the fact that I do not wish to return there ever.

Yesterday was a great day at work - we saw some results of a lot of very hard work. I am still ready for the weekend - exhausted!

Happy Friday, and no ticket to Boozeville here.

Pav

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Friday!

Short check in. Day 20 - haven't been this sober in awhile.

Last night I was with my daughter by myself - hubs was out to dinner with a friend. Usually that would mean several large glasses of wine because for some reason I believed that made me a better mom. Like if I had a slight buzz I'd be more fun? I don't know. But, when I was putting her to bed and reading a book and making silly animal noises I realized that I'm actually a much better mom when sober. I also wasn't anxiously waiting for her to fall asleep so I could go downstairs and drink more and "relax." I was genuinely enjoying reading and interacting with her - sans alcohol. This elated me and at the same time made me feel sad, that she's had to deal with me and alcohol all her life. But, that's more motivation to keep going on the sober train.

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,

Moonking, I am by far a much better mom Sober even on my crankinest days. I also love the fact that I am completely present for my teenage kids and that if need be, I could come get them at anytime of day or night.

I am going to a big music festival tomorrow. I will be meeting a few other women to go with. These women have seen me drink and they also have seen me abstain. I don't think any of them would have thought I had a problem. I know that they would encourage me to booze it up with them all in the spirit of fun and without any harmful intentions. I know that this music fest will be a bit overwhelming for me but Ive really wanted to go to see a few of the artists. So I made a bold move yesterday to protect myself, I texted the women that I will be hanging out with and told them that I will not be drinking and that I haven't been drinking close to a year. (BTW, my 10 month was last Sunday which I forgot to post). I assured them I wouldn't be their buzz kill and I could still be their wingman.but I might fade a little early.. I felt it was necessary to tell them ahead of time so that I could put kabash on endless pressure to drink. It also helped to reaffirm publicly that I don't drink. I feel very proud of myself and much more confident that I won't be stressed out about how to handle not drinking.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Happy. Sober Friday everyone.
Roobs

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi nesters,

Wow Roobs! Brilliant reading there. Congrats on 10 + months sober. That festival sounds great. I reckon you will have an absolute ball.

Kingy, your post made me cry a little, out of happiness. Beautiful stuff.

Congrats Pav on your work achievements! Sheesh, you've been non stop and flat out like a lizard drinking for i dunno, seems like the last year or 2!

Now nesters, it's the weekend see? This don't mean no access all areas free ticket to no boozeville see? Feeling great here. Healthy and energetic. Why? Simple. No booze and mindful eating/not eating sugary rubbish. Plus one other ingredient - doing a thing or things i love and that mean a lot to me, on a daily basis. Take it easy out there.

[Londoner]

Re: Newbies Nest

Still early days. But Antabuse is working a treat. It gives you no choice but to not drink & sit back and watch your mind at work in social situations.

Feeling good.

Out tonight around with a group of friends. No one going mad, but I would still have had 4-5 cans, and my mind would have been elsewhere.

The option of not drinking is forcing me to be more social, to be with my discomfort/anxiety and grow.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Londoner, Im so happy for you. Not drinking really DOES force us to grow. I believe that our emotional maturity gets stuck once we have dependence on AL. After all, AL does the work FOR us. That was an amazing part of getting sober, growth! It seemed like I was making decisions with more imformation, and I was, I was able to process thoughts and remember information. It was incredible. Im so glad you are doing whatever it takes to get some good solid sober time in. Well done!
Its only Friday! Not a ticket to BoozeVille! Great to see everyone! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Well I spent a wonderful 4 1/2 hours with my grandsons then sent them home, ha ha!
They are maturing & not nearly so much work anymore I am happy to say.

Londoner, glad to hear your report. Keep moving forward & have no regrets!!!

Roobs, a big CONGRATS on your 10 AF months! Isn't it funny how we diligently count the days in the beginning then later on when the months start piling up we forget to count or celebrate? I am happy for you & hope your weekend goes well!

Hi there G, Pav, Byrdie, moonking & Jane. Great to see the nest is doing well.

Wishing everyone a sfae night in the nest & a nice weekend

Lav