Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Sounds AMAZING, LC.

Ava - good luck with your patience for the patient, and I am so glad your son has you to support him. That's all you can do.

Welcome, JenJen - 30 days is an amazing milestone! One of my favorite tools was the Bubble Hour podcast. I downloaded it and took LOTS of walks instead of drinking.

I am a little anxious because I thought I was going to have a weekend "off" but two things I really need to do came up, so I will be busy again...

Happy SOBER Thursday.

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Jenjen - Welcome to MWO and especially to the nest! Congrats on your 30 days - keep it up!

QW - good to see you friend, and glad to hear your holiday went well and you stayed away from the al. Sorry to hear of your brother's struggles though.

LC - your backpacking trip with your girls sounds wonderful. That's one of my favorite activities - usually so good for having time to reflect and put life in perspective. Please the sleep is fantastic cuz you've earned it (as long as you have a good sleeping pad or similar).

Pav - sorry to hear you kind of lost your weekend, but hopefully the benefits will outweigh the "loss"


Thank you again everyone for your kind words and support re my cousin. It's incredibly sad, as these things always are. I'm trying to turn the whole situation into a positive as best as I can - looking at what I can learn from her, how I can honor her, etc.

The best part is that I have NOT been tempted to drink a single time. I know I can't take my quit for granted one bit, but I do also feel like it's more solid than it's been at any other time recently. The one thing that keeps me on alert is that, as many of you know, I had a ten-year quit go south after a series of very difficult challenges and losses. I believe this time will be different because I know of this danger and I'm more consciously deciding to not go that route - when the ten-year quit fell apart I had multiple opportunities to head things off and the pass and just didn't. This time I will should I sense any danger.

Happy almost-Friday everyone!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters,

thinking of you and your family Wags. :hug:

Thinking of you and your family too Ava. Your son has a fab secret weapon in his corner. You. That's a strong, positive foundation and environment he has to work from. A big hug for you and a hug for him. :hug::hug:

Pavi, do you ever stop working?! The passion leaps from the page!

All excellent here. An interesting day at my other casual job yesterday, and they've given me another week of work next month. Handy at the moment. Now git some self loving in K? K.

[empyr3al]

Re: Newbies Nest

I am new, today! So glad I found this site. I used Quitnet for smoking and it worked 10 years ago. I am 1 month sober (this time) and taking antabuse 250mg. I was fine first couple weeks, now, really tired. I do not want to stop or cut in half unless doc is ok with. Also, just reading that antabuse can mess with liver? Yikes, I need this med until I am on my way.

Antabuse is not legal anymore in Canada as a quit drug, actually it is but nobody stocks it anywhere. There is a reason for that. I think there are exceptions, but I'm not sure. Our penal system uses something else that I have never heard of (Temposil - citrated calcium carbimide). I'd have to look into it again but its the same premise as Antabuse. Naltrexone and Campral are the only on-label alcohol treatments in Canada and all Antabuse has been pulled from pharmacies I do believe. I think there are exceptions like I said but they are really rare now. If its working for you, as a deterrent then as was said, its likely working for you. People were over drinking it and ending up in really really bad shape here.

Welcome !

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening, Nesters.
Long day. Glad tomorrow is Friday! No ticket to BoozeVille, tho. Hope everyone has a safe and easy night. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Good luck with your special patient Ava
I really hope your son can find his way out like the rest of us. He can have a whole, long, happy & healthy life ahead of him if he chooses & I hope he does.

Wags, I cringe at the thought of losing your 10 year quit. I am coming up on 9 years in March & feel so strong but.....
I have never let AL entertain a moment's thought in my head since I quit. I know we have to do whatever it takes, right? I'm sticking in the nest for the foreseeable future, how about you?

Pav, take care of you too!
Hi there G, stay happy!

Byrdie, bless you & everyone else checking in.
Have a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, I cringe at the thought of losing your 10 year quit. I am coming up on 9 years in March & feel so strong but.....
I have never let AL entertain a moment's thought in my head since I quit. I know we have to do whatever it takes, right? I'm sticking in the nest for the foreseeable future, how about you?


Lav

Lav, the nest is one of the reasons I KNOW I won't lose my quit again, and not having a good support network was a HUGE factor in why/how I lost my ten-year quit. One by one, the people who were my support network disappeared - divorce, my mom's illness and passing, then my dog dying. I really felt like I had nobody left to turn to and so I turned back to the bottle. My lesson was to never let that happen again. Granted, I didn't "let" this happen the first time around - life circumstances just led to one loss after another, and loved ones are going to die obviously. No, this time I've diversified my support system and this is a major reason I plan to stay in the nest til the cows come home. I need all of y'all :heartbeat:

[Marylou123]

Re: Newbies Nest

We need you too Wags. :heartbeat:

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, it is friends like you who help me stay on the sober path. This is a place we all can learn, and if we can't take the experiences of others on board and learn from them, then shame on us. I'd like to think that by this stage of the game, I don't have to find out everything 'the hard way'. I hope that's the case, anyway! Thank you for being here!

On an ALL ME note (sorry):
It's no secret that my new job has been a challenge. Starting a new job at age 56 having been at the same one for 28 years has been a real eye opener. I am just plain lucky to have found a job at all! I have worked long hours to learn the ropes, as much as I love the new company, their training has been non existant. I'm frustrated having lost that deal earlier this week and then other customers dealing wth hurricane aftermath, and finally that best hope for a sale for next year dashed last night (due to bankruptcy) I felt pretty defeated. I had a big bowl of ice cream with chocolate chips and banana sliced in it last night for dinner. As I was gobbling it down, I realized that I was EATING AT my problem. I've got to reign this in. I know what happens when this escalate! I'm nowhere close to thinking of AL, but I want to keep it that way. I recognize that I am throwing a pity party. I hope that now that I have identified all these things, I can sort thru them in a healthier way. Thank you all for listening! Have a happy Friday! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Byrdie - you have had a TOUGH year. I understand the bowl of ice cream/eating as solace, for sure. Good for you for naming it and working through it. I have no inkling that you'll turn to alcohol - your sober toolbox is FULL. I am still in shock that your first company laid you off after 28 years. There's some age discrimination going on there? I know you will find your footing and your people in your new company eventually - sorry that it is all on you to do so. We're rooting for you!

Wags - I forgot that you were 10 years in! Thanks for sharing your story and your determination. Every once in a while I still think, "maybe in X number of years I'll be cured..." Of course, I know that is BS, but those thoughts are annoying. That's why I stick here, also.

My work is crazy for sure, but my two new events are family related. I have the blessing and the curse of having a lot of family live relatively nearby. Makes for a lot of "must do" events. I try to say no when I have to, but these two are pretty important. I'll be fine, but I am in search of some quality down time!

No ticket to Boozeville this fine Friday.

Pav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Byrdie - you have had a TOUGH year. I understand the bowl of ice cream/eating as solace, for sure. Good for you for naming it and working through it. I have no inkling that you'll turn to alcohol - your sober toolbox is FULL. I am still in shock that your first company laid you off after 28 years. There's some age discrimination going on there? I know you will find your footing and your people in your new company eventually - sorry that it is all on you to do so. We're rooting for you!

Wags - I forgot that you were 10 years in! Thanks for sharing your story and your determination. Every once in a while I still think, "maybe in X number of years I'll be cured..." Of course, I know that is BS, but those thoughts are annoying. That's why I stick here, also.

My work is crazy for sure, but my two new events are family related. I have the blessing and the curse of having a lot of family live relatively nearby. Makes for a lot of "must do" events. I try to say no when I have to, but these two are pretty important. I'll be fine, but I am in search of some quality down time!

No ticket to Boozeville this fine Friday.

Pav

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC - that sounds ammaaaaaazing! We go camping all the time and love to hike, but it’s not very peaceful with a toddler. Can’t wait until kids are old enough to truly enjoy with us. I truly home I can have a relationship with my daughter like you have. I have a rocky relationship with my own mom, so being close to my daughter is something I strive for. Although she’s a daddy’s girl right now.

QW - I’m nervous for family get togethers and being sober. Usually wine was my only companion and thought it was the only way to get through, especially when hosting at my own house. I always ended up making a drunken fool out of myself, not sure why I didn’t get the picture earlier. Great job on staying alcohol free.

Welcome, Jen! I’m close to my 30 days - day 27 today! I’ve found that the nest is a wonderfully, helpful place to keep my sobriety.

Available - wow, go glad you can be a support system for your son. He is lucky to have you. I understand the fear of never drinking again. I’m feeling that fear right now as well.

Sounds tough, Byrdie - but glad you were able to recognize it. My dad was laid off two years ago at 62 and still hasn’t found work since. I know it’s been a struggle for him and I hate that.


Day 27 here. Took the day off yesterday to lay in bed and snuggle with my dog. Just couldn’t handle work, couldn’t stop with the morning sickness. God bless daycare so that I could just have the house to myself. I do hate taking time off as I’m trying to save up my 12 weeks so I get paid while I’m on maternity leave. Very angry at myself for all those days I took off because I was hungover. Could have so many more PTO days in my bank and not worry about taking the odd day here and there for legit reasons. Curse the United States and their non-existent maternity leave regulations. My husband had some wine last night and I’ll be honest it smelled horrible. While most things smell horrible these days, it was particularly bad (I had to leave the room.) Hoping maybe that’ll stick around so I’m not tempted…but we’ll see.

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend. We are dropping our daughter off at grandma’s this weekend so that we can go look at a possible new dog. My dog dying in August was more emotional that I thought it was going to be - she was old, I knew it was coming at some point, but wasn’t quite ready. I know that didn’t help my quit at the time. There is a rescue that specifically caters to German Shepherds and that’s what my other dog was…so we’ll see. I’m adamant we won’t come home with a new dog quite yet, but if I secretly had my way I’d come home with four. And they would all sleep in bed with me and we’d kick my husband out!!!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - Echoing Pav, you HAVE had a rough year, and I can totally see why you'd be frustrated with such little training bummed about losing the deal, etc. On the one hand, I'd say having a huge bowl of ice cream was well-deserved, but on the other hand, I can see your insight that this is eating AT the situation and in some ways is just another flavor of what we used to do with al. I find myself wanting to justify that indulging in ice cream is perfectly harmless and that you EARNED it through your hard work and suffering. And then I pause and see that this is the same justification we hear all the time about al, that we all used to say to ourselves around al.

I truly believe that ice cream and al are in completely different ballparks in that al is significantly more dangerous, but it's also important to recognize and name our behaviors and to see our patterns. Good for you on recognizing the behavior of eating AT a situation and deciding not to go further down that path. And hopefully you also woke up with no sense of guilt or regret for this particular indulgence. Thanks for sharing your insights and your thought processes. I hope the day brings you something wonderful! :heartbeat:


Ava - Hope your other half recovers quickly! And that's wonderful news about your son's decision to quit. Sending all of you strength :hug:


Happy Friday/weekend Nesters. As Byrdie and G-man love to say - no tickets to boozeville available at this depot!!!

[Marylou123]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie, I think, as you being the guest of honor at your pity party, ice cream (fully dressed), was totally appropriate. I know that you know it's so much better dealing with the disappointments sober (okay, maybe a little sugar buzz) than our past alternatives. I can't imagine starting a new job, even if it were in the same field, at my age. But I also get the idea of not using ice cream. Popsicle's have far less calories. :happy2:

Have a great, sobertastic weekend Nesters.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

well the patient is driving my patience to the max. he is always doing something so is very frustrated, me i love doing nothing. left him in bed for some me time. today is going to be glorious so will put my walking shoes on shortly before it gets too hot. had some skin cancers burnt and cut out the other day so waiting for the results of those. my son has spoken to the counsellor and will meet him on monday, he is a lovely man to do this for us and i will be eternally grateful. As i said to Tye i can never judge him and i can only be proud and support him with all of my love and a 2nd person outside the family will also be a huge benefit. i have a bad case of the guilts with regards to this and i acknowledge my part and tye tells me that "mum is part of life, its how i am wired, just like you". My go to stress relief was always al and he saw that and learned the bad way, hopefully he will learn some new strategies, he will learn new strategies and be proud of himself as i am of him.

Have a week off work now which is great, most of it will be helping to clean up the other halves mums place to get it on the market, something he has been avoiding so some gentle guidance will be in store this week. Have two childrens birthdays coming up with said two children having no idea what they want to do!

Moon as i have said to my son, do not think of never drinking again at the start as it is too overwhelming, the positive is not drinking for that day, time gives us that gift of accepting never. i tell myself now why i can never have a drink and the list is long. i have achieved too much to lose my life to al again.

Oh family events Pav, my mum has moved 2 1/2 hours away now and i am sure the "matriach" as she calls herself will be demanding a xmas appearance. I think she is a bit happier being closer but still mum. 1 positive, 1000 negatives but i let it ride off my back now. we will go and visit in a few weeks as its my sons birthday, she does like the other half and tells me that she hopes i dont do anything to "stuff it up". Gotta love her!

Well i had better go and see if the patient wants anything.

Big hello to everyone.

Take care x