Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Sunday evening Nesters,

Wow, has there really been no one here all day or am I looking at the wrong page????

Ava, I see you checked in after I did last evening - always good to see you.
Sounds like you have everything under control at home (as much as possible anyway)
I hope work has good news for you.

I met an old friend for lunch today, a non-drinker so no pressure except from the waitress at the restaurant, Lol
It's good to be free & have no monkey on my back - don't you agree?

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening, nesters. Beautiful day here, recharded the ole batteries and ready for the week ahead. Hope everyone has an easy night. Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm here!

A great day today - productive and relaxing.

Hope you all had the same. Happy SOBER Sunday!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

evening nesters

well i was looking forward to going back to work until i got there. so damn busy but with early starts and no lunch i should be up to date by the end of this week or next.

today i am celebrating a year with the other. if i can do the first year then i can do the 2nd :-) he is taking me out for dinner which will be lovely. I have sure come a long way from the drunk person i was who had no self esteem or cared what man i had. now i have found someone who treats me as i should be treated though i didnt get flowers, i did get a container of nails and screws as he went to do something on the weekend and i had none. well if that isnt love i dont know what is!

still packing sons wound. not the most pleasant thing to do first thing in the morning and last thing at night but as long as he heals and gets better quickly then all worth it.

Thinking of you wags.

Where are you LC and Brigitte.
congratulations on 7 days Tony. Life surely gets better.

take care x

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

Thinking of you and family Wags. Take care of yourself.

Big waves to all.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,

Feeling a bit less raw today. Thank you all, so much, for your support. I'm so grateful to be AF during this challenging time. If I were drinking, there's no way I could show up for myself, my cousin, or any of my extended family as solidly and consistently as I'm doing. I'm back home now and mostly supporting from afar but staying in close contact with everyone.

I'm going to read back today and catch up on all of the nest activity since last Wed.

Hope you all have fantastic starts to your weeks!

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Checking in for day 51.

Keep strong, wags, so sorry. You're in my thoughts.

Not much to report on here. Had a pretty relaxing weekend. Was at my dad's lake house on Saturday and everyone was drinking (except for me of course.) It seemed so natural to just have a drink in your hand when relaxing by the water. Even though wine doesn't even sound good, it just felt like the default. Was a strange feeling. But, never been so grateful to not be drinking in a way, too, I suppose. Most times I probably would have been a bottle in and having my daughter so close to the water was terrifying. Can't imagine if she would have ran off because I wasn't paying attention (i.e. too drunk) and something happened. When we left I remember I almost outwardly breathed a sigh of relief for being sober. That was a strange feeling as well.

I keep going back and forth as to whether or not I've "decided" to drink again. I'll find myself thinking, "Oh, in a year or so, one glass shouldn't hurt." And then things like the lake house happen and I'm suddenly thinking, "No, no, no, nope. No. Never again."

Hubby and I are sitting down to have a serious talk tonight. We got in a serious fight on Friday - my feeling like complete garbage doesn't help my mood - but I think I'll go ahead and tell him about myself, my addiction and that I'll need to his support and help to keep me sober. He's a fantastic go-getter and fixer, but he's not real great at emotional support. Maybe this will help drive home that I have a problem. We shall see.

Rain finally stopped here and I'm grateful for that. Sunshine seems to help the mood.

[Hastowork17]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello to everyone.
Another Day 1 for me today. But as the name says, it HAS to work this time. :newhere:

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello to everyone.
Another Day 1 for me today. But as the name says, it HAS to work this time. :newhere:

Welcome!!! You're in a great place for getting support and tools to help you make it work. Be sure to look around at a few threads - this one (Newbies Nest) is pretty active and full of newcomers and long-timers alike. You might also want to check out the toolbox. It's full of ideas, tools, motivational posts - all kinds of things to help us all succeed.

We're glad you're here :welcome:

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome aboard, HastoWork. Sounds like we maight have a lot in common. My last quit had to stick so I glued myself in here and that was nearly 7 yars ago. All of the tools you need to succed are right here. So glad you found us!
Wags, wish I could give you a hug. Sending you hugs
Moon, all I can say is that this site is full of thousands of stories of people who think that after a period of time, they can become a normal drinker. In all the time Ive been here, Ive never seen anyone successfully moderate, myself included. You have been given such a gift, I hope you take advantage of it: your gift is that you have an opportunity to be AF for nine months. But if you are leaving the door open, I can guarantee you who will win the battle of wills. We are Alcoholics and if given half a chance, we will drink. After all, if we ‘re honest with ourselves, havent we tried every way in the world to control it before? If you think abstinance is hard, try having just two per night! Or one, which is the guideline for moderate drinking for women. Your whole day will revolve around when you can have that drink, Pretty soon, you’ll be sneaking it again. Its the same ole story. Time does not erase addiction, your brain knows where you left off and you will be right back there again, only you will have lost your nine months in the process. I hope you will decide to slam the door on drinking again, its a no win situation for us and our families. If this is a true support forum where we learn from each other, I hope you will learn from someone who had to find out the hard way. Get quit, stay quit and move on! There is no future in AL. I would recommend looking around this site and read the stories.
Hope everyone has a peaceful evening. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I had a pretty decent Monday - no work & a day out with my daughter, nice

Hello & welcome Hastowork, glad you found us!
The absolute best way to ensure your success is to stay glued in the nest, check in daily & use the tools in the Toolbox to help you make a good plan for yourself. That's what I did 8 1/2 years ago.

Byrdie, the thought of trying to moderate disappeared once I got 30 AF days under my belt. That's when I knew for sure that it wouldn't work, wouldn't be possible for me. Maintaining my AF'ness has been a breeze compared to the anguish of restricting myself to one glass of wine.

Wags, keeping you in my thoughts :hug:

Moonking, great on your 51 days! You have a wonderful thing going. Try working a little gratitude into your thought processes because it works miracles You will never regret your decision to remain AF, honestly.

Hello to Pav, Ava & everyone!
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[Hastowork17]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you all for the welcome, I look forward to getting to know you. Back for Day 2 - I did so much crying last night, I can barely see out of one eye and putting make up on was a challenge! It was my daughter's 10th birthday yesterday and because of my drinking she is not living with me at the moment which is breaking my heart. But she is happy and healthy and loving her new life, and we had a long phone chat. Which of course then made me cry with all the guilt and shame etc. And then I had a session with my psychologist - I am sure the woman enjoys torturing me for money! It was painful but enlightening at the same time. And then an AA meeting so it was a busy evening for me. Today I am planning to finish work a bit early, go home and do some housework, plant some flowers that I keep putting off doing, and then get to another meeting. I enjoy hearing other people's stories there but I just cannot open my own mouth to "share" and I have been a regular since February this year (although obviously I also keep relapsing - I can't seem to string together more than 3 sober weeks). Anyway, I'll stop going on now......

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Well i thought it was Thursday and its only Tuesday here, i can feel its going to be a long long week. i hate being behind in work but cant seem to get my shit together for the moment. Coming up to the silly season it will only get busier. Grateful though that my son is getting better. he just made me dinner which was nice.

Hasto, welcome to MWO. I googled years ago and found this site and realised that these people on here were just like me! It does take while to get to know everyone but to me now these lovely people are like family and they get who i am without any judgement. We understand the drinking, the not drinking, the relapses and we are all here to help and not judge. Never ever in my life did i think i would be coming up to 4 years sober. I am lucky to have stumbled on this site drunk one night and to have received the help and understanding i needed. I log on here everyday and read even if i dont post. MWO saved my life. I had to try and give up drinking for my 4 children, i realised they were my most treasured possessions in life and even if i didnt care about myself i certainly cared about them. All you can do is take this day by day as each day sober is a great day. Great work on day 2.

Hope you are doing ok Wags, proud of you girl for not drinking, but i knew you would not anyways. You have gained so many tools now to see you through.

Off to watch the idiot box before i pass out - from tiredness not al. Feel so much better to sleep like that.

take care x

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning, All:

Hastowork - It sounds as if you are determined. Every three weeks you spend sober is three fewer weeks of drinking. Now, just string them together instead of having a lapse in the middle. If you like listening but not sharing, try the podcast The Bubble Hour. There are topics and stories that really resonate, and you get to just listen. There is one featuring the guest Dr. John Kelly - he talks about the importance of continuous abstinence to let your brain heal. There's lots of good stuff - traveling while sober, holidays while sober, etc. I'm glad you found this place - you'll be happy you did!

Moon - I agree with Byrdie. One thing that might work is to go back to your first couple of posts here - remember how you felt, what you were thinking, and how you really, really wanted to get sober. Enlisting your husband is a great idea. If he's a fixer, give him some stuff to read about alcoholism. How to "fix" it is pretty clear. Take care of yourself, and don't drink, no matter what! If you leave that door open a crack it will certainly open further and further. I know that Lav's idea of gratitude sound hokey, but trust me that she knows what she is talking about. I am SO grateful that I don't drink for so many reasons. Being there for my kids is one of the most important.

Busy but fun at work this week. I'm also a basketball fan and the NBA starts again tonight. Looking forward to some couch time disguised as cheering on my team.

Happy Tuesday.

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hasto - glad to see you back for Day 2. Those first few can be among the hardest for sure! Some people have found great solace and support by spending LOTS of time here on MWO, reading back through various threads, finding out how other people navigated similar territory. Glad to hear your daughter is doing well, and I hope you reach a place where she can return to live with you if that is what's good for everyone.

Moon - Ditto on the previous advice - starting to entertain thoughts of "maybe I'll drink again" just cracks the door open for relapse. Play the whole movie of that decision forward to see how the story ends. For most of us, what starts with a few "innocent" drinks that we think we can handle quickly (over hours for some, weeks for others) devolves into the same old unhealthy patterns. Since you've got months to go with your pregnancy, I'd stay focused on now, and on building tools and habits that will support you in the future. Hope the talk with your husband went well. Those are never easy conversations, but good for you both on having it.

Pav - you're sounding good. Are you a fan of any particular NBA teams?

Ava - glad your son is doing better! Having him cook dinner is a nice bonus Congrats on one year with your s.o., and here's to many more happy times

Byrdie, Lav, Brigitte, G-man, and everyone else stopping by the nest - hope you all have fantastic days/evenings!!!