Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, great posts. I am going to a craft show right now but I have a lot to say so I’ll be back! Love waking up with no hangover!

[Quit wining]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, you have faced some difficult challenges AND you’ve handled them without al. Good for you!

Sometimes life sucks, as we know but we also know that al doesn’t make any situation better.

Sorry to learn of your cousins passing. It doesn’t make it any easier knowing the end is in sight, it still hurts. Big hugs to you Wags!

Big surprise that the insurance company denied your request. My suggestion would be to find a lawyer willing to take on your case on a contingency fee basis - no increased settlement, no fee.

Stay strong Wags, you’re an inspiration to the Nest!

QW

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sending much love your way, dear Wags.

[gettingthere]

Re: Newbies Nest

- I am am being realistic with where i am at. The last decade has been a blur. I have not known myself, I've done a lot of stupid things, I've wasted a lot of time and money and do not remember most of my nights out. Not knowing myself has led to most of my anxiety. The power of those embarassing memories are lessening, but there are things that I will still have to face up to. I have a lot of catching up to do; my social skills, self development and maturity have all been stunted by AL since I turned 18. I've never really had true friends (due to my anxiety and self image issues) or hobbies (due to a lack of energy and feeling numb from bingeing), and these become harder to find as you get older I'm looking forward to finding out who I am, what I am about and being more assertive in general. I'm learning to be easier on myself and more open - two things which will let me allow others into my life, and also two things that have kept me isolated and feeling lonely..

I so relate to all this Londoner! But for me the last 18 years have been a blur. There are SOOOOOO many things I have wanted to pursue in my 30's and 40's. I wasted it....Oh I have functioned enough to accomplish a few things and keep my head above water, but there are hobbies and interests that I want to explore. We still can, am I right? Were not dead yet, and by the grace of God AL will not take any more time from us!!!

I am going to take my AB today. It's always such a relief when I do!! Those nagging thoughts are brought to a halt, because I simply CAN'T drink! It's freeing.

Today is day 2 for me. We have to make sobriety a priority in our lives....otherwise we will have no life.

Hello to all other Nesters today!! It's a beautiful autumn day in Nebraska, USA!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters,

Hi Wags. I am sorry to hear this sad news. Thinking of you my friend. Take care of yourself.

Great work Londoner and top post. Loved reading your thoughts on the matter at hand.

Excellent work on day 2 GT. You are a lean mean sleek and fast GT V8 machine heading into day 3!

I am pumped living sober. I am over 50 days at day #$%^&! but who's counting?! My windscreen is clear! the way ahead is clear. What's stopping me? Nothing. As long as i stay out of my own way! I can do that. Go for it pilgrims. You are worth it.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sorry Wags thinking of you

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Wags, i am so sorry to hear about your cousin. Take good care of yourself and remember those good times. I still listen to music and remember Robert and those wonderful times we had. Always remember her with a smile on your face and be proud of yourself that you have done this sober. Sending you big hugs today. Oh nail those insurance bastards if you have the energy Wags. you deserve the payout and yes who knows what will happen years down the track.

London, a great sober post. Keep up the great work. You will never ever look back being sober.

LC what helped for me was logging on here 24/7. we need to be accountable ourselves. the biggest tool in my toolbelt is the word NO. I dont drink, end of story, i tell people if i do i wont stop ever again, that soon shuts them up. I have found now, like others, that most people are normal drinkers, it is us with the problem and mainly the problem drinkers like us will hassle us to drink. My son has been having a drink here and there and as i tell him if he keeps leaving that door open he will drink. I am a mother who has a son that will be just like me if he does not stop. Breaks my heart but as i know, only he can make the decision to stop and only i can be there to support him. Stay at home if you need, the world will not end if you stay home and look after you. god i went shopping at 7am as the bottle shop here werent open, i did not trust myself at all to go out basically. we are sneaky when it comes to al, we all wrote a book on justification. Start a diary and write down how you feel emotionally, as the days go on our emotions settle also, we just need to pull all out strength mentally to not drink until such time as that al voice becomes a whisper.

yesterday i broke up with the other. he is so very depressed since his mum died and i cant get him to the dr and he is affecting me to the point where i have had thoughts of wanting to drink. i have told him and explained to him that i will walk and why i will leave if things did not improve and my sobriety was my priority. things change for a week or two and then his lack of communicating and my feelings makes me become anxious and stressed. He says he cant change as he is too old, i say if he really wants to he can. I changed 4 years ago to be a better person for myself and others and if he chooses he can also. Im incredibly sad but trying to look at this logically. At the end of the day as much as i love this man my quit is what keeps me alive, without that i would not be here. I am hoping it is just a break but being a man he says he does not need help (sorry guys). Its been a shit few months but thats how life goes. i know i will be okay in a few months, i just need to plod along and appreciate that i have my children and i have my sobriety. there is nothing more important than that.

Take care x

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, Im so sad to hear your news. Wishing you strength and peace. No words of mine can help, but Im holding you close in my thoughts and prayers.

Great going, Getting!

You sound great, Londoner. Is this a personal best? Keep moving forward!

Ive got the man flu (chest cold). Spent the day on the couch with my dog. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Saturday evening Nesters,

Byrdie, feel better soon!

Wags, I am so sorry for your loss. Will be thinking of you with love. Take care of yourself :hug:

Londoner, great job on your 45 AF days! If the AB works for you then you should stick with it, why not? Now you can begin to get to know your real self & imagine what a sober life will be like, good for you!

Ava, I am sorry about the break up.
Taking care of yourself has to be #1 on your priority list. I know a good bit about living with a chronically depressed other
He just may change his mind & go get some help, you never really know. Hang in there.

LC, glad you are back on your plan & solid with your decision. We are stronger together, we can do this

Hello to Pauly. Pav & hello to getting there!
We had another nice day here weather-wise, feel fortunate.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

So sorry about your cousin Wags, big hug from me.

Ava, that is so good that you are putting your quit first. Maybe your guy will come around but in the meantime I think you re doing the right thing. Self preservation is important for us Alkies. I am proud of you girl!

G, you can have the life you want or you can drink. Yes, that is my mantra. I know I will never have the life I want if I drink. I love my sober life and will never throw it away for AL. I let those AL thoughts float on by and think of other things, the thoughts are easy to push away. It gets easier in time. Stick with it Life, Londoner, G, everyone
I am going to a Halloween party tonight and I have no worries about drinking. When I first quit I totally avoided parties or drinking get togethers because I found it too difficult not to drink. Now it is usually no problem at all. Everyone knows I don’t drink and no one pushes the issue. So hang in there and stick to it. It gets easier over time not to drink.
Birdie, get better soon. Laying on the couch with your dog sounds great
Hi Paula and Pav:victorious:

Xo

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava, the guy CAN change if he can see a way forward for himself. Maybe the grief and depression is just too much for him right now and maybe he needs to be in it to let it pass through? I dunno, but there's always a chance he'll come round. gutsy decision by you my friend. I reckon it's the right one. See what time brings.

Birdie, get well soon!

Right on Narilly.

Thinking of you and family Wags.

Working weekend over yay! Chilling for the G dawg.

Sobriety is gold and my most precious gift today. Without it, everything around me turns to dust. Dust! Take care out there.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

thanks for that, Ava.. it's exactly what I'm doing. No and staying in a lot. Just had a 2 hour nap which did me wonders. I'm sorry to hear about your break up. That's very sad and I hope he will choose to find some help. For his state of mind and quality of life. :hug:

Not much going on here today. Thinking of you, Wags.

Hi to everyone! Hope you're feeling better today, Byrdie..

xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - thanks so much for your continued kind words. Grief is one of the hardest human experiences. I hope yours for Robert has softened around the edges over time. I'm sorry to hear that you decided to break up with your s.o., but totally understand and respect why you did. That's a sure sign of growth - the ability to protect and honor your quit even when you know it'll make your heart hurt (and likely his too). As you and others have said though, your life depends on it. Perhaps, as G-dude suggested, he will in fact change. He has to find his own way through grief, which sometimes just takes time and often takes at least a little help. Sending you hugs today.

Lav - sorry that you, too, have the experience of living with someone who is chronically depressed. I can only imagine that would be exceptionally difficult, at least at times.

Byrdie - hope you feel better soon!

Londoner - great job with the quit. Seems like the AB is giving you an opportunity to really do things differently!

Nar - hope you had a fantastic time at the party

LC - hang strong and keep reading and posting and saying NO! You've got this!

Pav, G-man, QW, Pauly, Brigitte, Mr V, getting there - Thank you all for your support, and hope you have fantastic days/eves

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Wags, I'm so sorry for your loss. How great that you were able to get in a nice, sober visit. I agree, you've had quite a year. I hope you can do something for yourself.

Ava - sorry about your breakup. Chalk up another sober first... I am really proud of you for keeping yourself and your sobriety first - I know that must not be easy to do at this point. Maybe he'll go get help now. Hugs to you, dear lady.

Not much to report here. Whole family coming over for lunch which usually creates a small bit of drama. Mostly we get along, but family is family, and boy to we know how to get on each others's nerves.

Happy SOBER Sunday.

Pav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

thank you for your lovely words of love and support. i did go over yesterday to get my things and it was heartbreaking but i explained to him rationally (as i was sober) about how i truly felt about him and our life together. he suffered a terrible trauma for a child when he was 9 when his father died in a fire (fireman) and has never talked to anyone about this and his mother dying has just bought the last 50 years to the surface. I knew this and we cried and talked, well of course me more than him but he did suggest counselling and i suggested grief. it was very emotional for us both but i really dont want to walk away, i love this man, he is the best person in my life and the most decent caring man i have ever had in mine. he has closed himself off emotionally in his life and i drank to deal with mine! Never ever when i drank would i have had the guts to go over there yesterday, i would have had a severe case of the f%ck its, a severe case of "whoa is me" and drank myself into oblivion. I explained that 4 years ago i changed my life for the better, that it was only my choice to change as it was his choice also but i could not be with him the way he was treating me. His pain was very raw as was mine so i am hopeful. Now i have to bloody figure where i am putting another half of a wardrobe of clothes. I am very proud of myself that i have emotionally grown into who i am and i know i am a good person who doesnt have to put up with crap, i deserve the best. He is a good person who needs to find help to move on and enjoy life, as i told him if i can move on with life anyone can.

Wags, i always smile now when i think of Robert, i see him as he was before the cancer took him, i see his smile when we went hot air ballooning and i remember his love. I just wish he was here to talk to and give me his wise words.

LC i had a 2 hour nap yesterday, i cannot possibly live life without a nap on weekends or days off or holidays. A chronic napper who wont lose that habit anytime soon.

well back to work from hell for me. 33 days till i have been there 10 years and then i can decide the next stage of my life.

Take care and thank you all for being here. x