Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great posts, all.
Every day we spend sober is a win! Keep going, no matter what amd no matter who! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I'm just sitting here smiling as I read thru all of your posts today. I definitely see a lot of effort being put forth & success happening right here in the nest

Talk about revealing your age, ha ha - today we went to our granddaughter's first grade classroom for Grandparents day! Walking back into an elementary school after all these years is just amazing!! Everything is so small, the students are small & it suddenly hit me that my own kids are now 37 & 40, LOL.
BUT I am just so proud that I am fit & healthy enough to go do & really enjoy these things with the grandkids. My drinking career started after my kids were grown & leaving home. I guess I didn't deal with empty nest syndrome too well. I know I had a major case of fcuk-its. I am eternally grateful that awful period of my life is over & will never put myself in the hands of AL again.
I know that all of you can do the same if that's what you truly want!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,
TGIF, for me at least, I'm so looking forward to having a relaxing weekend with nothing planned! Now I just have to try and keep it that way.
Last night I had a bit of a panic attack, worries about finances, how I'm going to do everything I need to before the end of the year. Pav, your breathing exercise came to mind and it worked wonders. Holding the breath for 4 seconds is something new to me and it was good..

Hope everyone has a low stress day..
see you this evening..

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Friday nesters,

Way to go moonking, congratulations! Keep up the good work. I couldn't wait to drink after my pregnancies. I look back and realize I was such a drama queen. "I need this glass,a.k.a jug of wine, my day was sooo hectic, poor me, blah, blah, blah." Make sure you have tools in place for moments you feel completely overwhelmed and lonely taking care of your kids. I don't mean to be such a downer but to me, it was amazing and wonderful to have these beautiful little beings in my life and I was oh so lucky but it could also be extremely lonely and suffocating. That's when it gets dangerous for us drinkers. Do what you can to have all the tools in place for moments when you don't have any defenses.

Sky, I remember one night or several nights when in slow motion, I would reach for that large glass of wine and wonder if my kids noticed? I wondered if they just thought mom always has a glass of wine in her hand, don't all moms? I didn't want them to have that image in their heads or think that having several bottles of wine near was a legitimate coping skill. Today, they never see me drink and we have really open discussions about drugs and alcohol. Last night we talked about the opioids crisis and what happens to the brain.andhow we become addicted. I also try to emphasize how alcohol is the elephant in the room and how very dangerous its effects can be. One of my girls was telling me about some friends in high school starting to go down the dark path and how stupid they looked when drink or stoned. I was so happy to hear her speak objectively.
I'm not saying they will never experiment but I hope that they are better equipped to deal with life without alcohol or drugs. I would never be capable of having these discussions with them if I was still drinking. Why, because I would still be lying to myself and trying to cover up my own addiction. Sky, you can do this and you can show your daughter that it is possible and you are WORTH it as is she. She will come back to youbut right now just get through one day, one hour or one minute at a time.

Roobs

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All

TTTTTTTT
GGGGGG
IIIIIIIIIII
FFFFFFFF
!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a week. I will be glad when this work day is over. Don't know if it is a moon phase, or what, but everyone at work has been right on the edge! I'm trying not to look in the mirror on that one...

It is Friday, and I have no tickets to Boozeville, although I have to confess that I may have found a coupon for a juicy cheeseburger and some crispy, salty french fries...

xo
Pav

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Friday nesters,

Way to go moonking, congratulations! Keep up the good work. I couldn't wait to drink after my pregnancies. I look back and realize I was such a drama queen. "I need this glass,a.k.a jug of wine, my day was sooo hectic, poor me, blah, blah, blah." Make sure you have tools in place for moments you feel completely overwhelmed and lonely taking care of your kids. I don't mean to be such a downer but to me, it was amazing and wonderful to have these beautiful little beings in my life and I was oh so lucky but it could also be extremely lonely and suffocating. That's when it gets dangerous for us drinkers. Do what you can to have all the tools in place for moments when you don't have any defenses.

Sky, I remember one night or several nights when in slow motion, I would reach for that large glass of wine and wonder if my kids noticed? I wondered if they just thought mom always has a glass of wine in her hand, don't all moms? I didn't want them to have that image in their heads or think that having several bottles of wine near was a legitimate coping skill. Today, they never see me drink and we have really open discussions about drugs and alcohol. Last night we talked about the opioids crisis and what happens to the brain.andhow we become addicted. I also try to emphasize how alcohol is the elephant in the room and how very dangerous its effects can be. One of my girls was telling me about some friends in high school starting to go down the dark path and how stupid they looked when drink or stoned. I was so happy to hear her speak objectively.
I'm not saying they will never experiment but I hope that they are better equipped to deal with life without alcohol or drugs. I would never be capable of having these discussions with them if I was still drinking. Why, because I would still be lying to myself and trying to cover up my own addiction. Sky, you can do this and you can show your daughter that it is possible and you are WORTH it as is she. She will come back to youbut right now just get through one day, one hour or one minute at a time.

Have a great day everyone!
Roobs

[Hastowork17]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Friday! Although to be honest, the weekends are the worst time for me for the loneliness and boredom. But I have a plan. This evening I am going to put a hair dye on while I vacuum, then a man I know is giving me a lift to try another meeting I've not been to before (variety is the spice of life and all that) and by the time I get home from there, I expect I'll watch a bit of TV then hit my bed. I certainly shouldn't need to eat as I went out for a gigantic pizza buffet at lunch for a colleague's leaving do, I am stuffed! On Saturday I will go to a meeting in the morning, a bit more housework and if I'm climbing the walls I might go to see Breathe at the cinema. Then a meeting in the evening before trashy Saturday night TV. Sunday has a lunchtime meeting and an evening one and maybe a bit of retail therapy in between as I still have vouchers from my birthday in August and I got a bonus in my pay this month. Fingers crossed my mind stays as focussed as I feel right now. Day 6...........Happy weekend wishes to the rest of the nest!

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Roobs - I was the same way with my first. I think by night three after my daughter was born I was already back to drinking. But at the time, since I had been sober so long, one beer was good enough. Until it wasn't. And thus the cycle continued.

I've been thinking a lot about how my kids will see me. I don't want them to always see mommy with wine or know that mommy needs wine to deal with them or whatever. The wine mom thing is a big joke and I think for most people, yes...it's actually a joke! But for some of us, I guess it doesn't work that way. I don't know how I'll approach the alcohol or drugs talk with my kids. My husband and I were both young, stupid and reckless at one point...he just knew how to stop and I didn't. If I can do 9 months of sobriety, I can do a year. Then 2. Then 3. Just gotta keep telling myself that. For my kiddos, mostly. It's going to be hard, really, really hard. But that's why I have running and tacos to fall back on. It's funny, I as I've been having trouble falling asleep I've been doing a lot of in depth thinking on my AF journey and how it will be when I go out with other mom friends after baby is born. Of course it was usually drinks all around. Since we live out in the middle of nowhere, I was pretty good at keeping my drink count down since I had to drive, but it was HARD. While they could sip on 2 glasses over the span of 4-5 hours, I could easily be on glass 2 in an hour. Maybe it's weird, but I'm afraid I won't have anything to "do" (I think I've mentioned this previously) when out with them. Like, sipping water just isn't good enough while I'm enjoying the company of friends. So, of course, I start to think about what I can "do" - i.e. drink tea, hot chocolate, espresso, hell even Dr. Pepper or order a big old appetizer. Immediately my brain went into overdrive telling myself I can't eat/drink those things - far too many calories to enjoy, glasses of wine are just easier. I did get to kind of laughing at myself and realized, "No wonder you've gained 30 pounds over the past year, moonking, alcohol calories aren't free!" The things we do to justify the alcohol, I suppose.

So, anyway, I guess that is currently helping me not miss alcohol so much, by allowing myself other treats that can't mess up my life. (As long as I'm not sampling the nacho supreme EVERY night!)

Hope you're all enjoying your alcohol free Fridays leading into the weekend. We're off to a big halloween camping weekend and I really couldn't be more excited. Some family we haven't seen will be there, which will be tough as I don't get along with one family member very well. Our values, morals, political views, religious views, parenting styles, diet styles, etc are very different and she is very, very vocal about how she is right and everyone else is wrong. This rubs me the wrong way and can cause a lot of stress, but, I've decided to focus solely on spending quality time with my daughter. If my family member starts in, I'll quietly excuse myself and go play with Barbies.

We're also officially "announcing" the pregnancy to everyone this weekend. I hate being the center of attention, so this should go well! lol

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Saturday here and like you Pav its been a week from hell and for me the clanger was a girl my daughters age yelling at me that she was 12 minutes late and why didnt i answer my phone as she could not find the place. i asked her name told her to sit down and proceeded to talk to the lovely patients who werent yelling at me. she then put in a complaint. if i could have rammed her young head into a wall i would have had not greater pleasure. so now i have to put up with a chat with the idiot office manager. I did get the phone number off the patients who were in the waiting room so they can remark on her behaviour although i know he will not call them to get the full story. I have about 2 weeks to i move i hope. The new PA starts on Monday and the Prof has asked me to show her around which is nice of him. I do hope the prof can turn a place of chaos into calm as i feel sorry for the person who takes my place already and she is not even employed.

Roobs a great post about your honesty with your children. I have always been honest with mine about drugs etc just wasnt so much about alcohol. al was always my go to with stress and life in general. i never thought i had a problem, my brother the alcoholic had one but never me. i had a job, 4 children, a husband and was doing it all, no problem with that. classic functioning alkie was what i was. Its when i stopped functioning in a lot of things that the truth hit. My honesty about al with the children i feel has made them aware that addiction runs freely in our family and they are more aware. its hard when a toxic drug like al is freely available and its the norm to pour it down your throat for fun.

Going on a date with the SO today which will be nice. Some calmness in my life would be great i must say.

have a great time camping Moon, i spent many a holiday camping with the children but always with wine, they do always tell me their camping holidays were always the best but now i just remember the wine!

Take care x

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Not much happening in Lav-land today but that is perfectly OK with me

Ava, we don't want to see you landing in jail for putting someone's head though a wall even if she deserves it, HA HA!!! Sorry your day was so difficult. Enjoy your date & I hope your entire weekend is calm & relaxed.

Pav, you had a rough week too & you survived - good for you, enjoy those fries!

Moonking, hanging out with the kids is always my choice when the adults are misbehaving!! Have a good trip.

Hasto, sounds like you have filled your weekend plan, nice!

LC & Roobs good to see you both!

Wishing a safe ight in the nest for all!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening, nesters.
If I stopped working after having put in 8 hours, Id get off at 4:30 like most of my coworkers in the home office. I usually work until 6:30 or 7. Today, I stopped at 5. I have really enjoyed the extra time for me. Ive been baking some cakes in the shape of little skulls. I am realizing Im killing myself for this job, my stress is thru the roof. I am going to try and take my vacation before I lose it.

So glad that AL isnt a factor in all this. AL only makes a bad situation worse. Whatever the problem, I know AL isnt the answer. Do whatever it takes to get thru this day sober. You’ll never regret it. Byrdie

[Inthesky]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning all,
Feeling fusterated this morning....my hubby who is an alcoholic and well long story short he has woke me up every two hours all night to tell me someone stole his vodka...he actually drank it or hid it from me and forgot but the empty bottle is sitting on the counter. I'm trying to have patience for him but without sleep they are wearing thin. ...very thin. He has now bounced down the hall and gone back to bed F&%# and I'm left awake. I think it may have stemmed from last night as he wanted me to go get him a bottle of vodka and I set boundaries that I had not had a drink in 7 days and would risk having one so, I would not go get him one, if he wanted one he would have to walk (1 km each way) well he walked and came back irritable and tired. It's hard stumbling all that way. Lol He can't get mad at me because I'm trying to better myself so he takes it out on me by waking me up? Trying to make sense of this is all.
I made a pledge to myself that I would put myself and sobriety first this time and it's working better than before. Seeing him everyday in the state of AL he is in is heartbreaking. I really hope that he sees the positive changes in me and wants them for himself and soon...because I like my sleep.lol.
Thanks for letting me have a place to vent!
I would also like to thank empry, Pav and wag for the excellent suggestions, I have added and used them in the past few days when I want a drink....breathing and giving myself a 15 minute time out have been extremely helpful.
Moon, I am so happy to see that you are getting this so early in life, I raised 3 children and drank through most of their childhoods. That is something that I will need to live with, they say it was fun...but I know it wasn't. Another day, I will get into that.
Hasto, it's great to see you have a plan, just be gentle with yourself and keep adding to your toolbox.

I read a quote yesterday sorry not sure who wrote it -
"Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be."

Have a great sober day everyone.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Inthesky - the situation with your hubby sounds terribly difficult. I know there are others here in the nest and in other MWO threads who have similar situations (partners who drink, some of whom pressure to drink). I feel very lucky that this is not my case because I honestly don't know what I'd do. I'm sure it's hard for you - both to see him in that state, but also to deal with the lack of sleep, grumpiness, misunderstandings, etc. I'm so glad to hear you're sticking to your commitment to yourself and that you're finding tools that work It's amazing how much breathing helps!

Byrdie - good for you on leaving work earlier! It sound like you've been working your butt off - time to regain some work/life balance.

Pav - we had a bit of a "weird moon phase" few days here as well. I hope it passes soon!

Lav - it is kind of surreal going back to elementary school isn't it? I remember the thing that struck me the most was when I needed to use a restroom and all that was open was the student facility in the hallway - I don't remember even the toilets being smaller and lower, but they are! I felt like a giant!

Ava - so glad you're escaping that work situation soon - it really sounds challenging. Hope you had a fantastic date night with your s.o.

Waves to G-man, LC, Moon, Hasto, Nar, Roobs, and everyone else stopping by. Have wonderful AF weekends!!!

[Orimus]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=22695]Inthesky[/MENTION]: (There is an embedded link in the quote)

“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” —Sonia Ricotti.

[Inthesky]

Re: Newbies Nest

Orimus thank you very much I really like to have the source of the quote....I write the quotes in a book and use them for reflection sometimes or most the times I find the quotes there is no author. So I appreciate that you took time out of your day for me.
Inthesky