Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Moon - I still hang out with my drinking friends. Even sometimes in a bar. We have a joke now, when they're all deciding what to get and I say "the usual," which everyone knows is club soda and lime. A good group of friends and I went out to dinner and then to live music and they kept drinking throughout. When we were saying goodbye they were such stupid looking/acting drunks that I had to tell them later they made me so grateful I hadn't been drinking. It wasn't always this easy, but SO worth it. I quit the beginning of December. I am very private and never wanted to tell anyone I HAD to quit drinking, so I just said I get depressed around the holidays and was trying to see if booze was the culprit. For the several months after that I just told everyone that I quit over the holidays and was so pleased with how much better I felt, I decided to keep it going. The people who really quizzed me were actually having questions about their own drinking (as I did before I quit), and most other people don't even know. I hear from your posts that that door is still open for you. I hope you can find a way to close it tight before you have your child. You'll be SO glad you did.

Sky - How awful for you, and bravo for keeping yourself first. Sounds like your husband might not even remember the trip to the store? That would be hard - I know I really valued my husband's support.

Off to work for a bit this morning then home to nurse this cold. Blah.

Hope you all have happy Saturdays...

xo
Pav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

A lazy Sattidy here. Sitting here thinking how grateful I am that I am not trying to chase a fix. Before I quit, I would have started drinking at 10:30. By this time I’d either be passed out or trying to hide how high I was. AL had a death grip on me, Im so glad I found something I was willing to fight for....myself. Life is 1000 times more fun and peaceful without AL. Never thought Id be able to say that. It was hard and it took some time, but its worth it. Hang in, all. Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Enjoy the weekend Byrdy. Good job on backing off your work hours. Self care right there! Take care of yourself precious lady.

Tough situation there In the sky. You are doing an amazing job living sober in such a scenario. I hope hubs will get onboard right now out of respect for the love of his life.

Hola and big waves to all. Day fkn 60! Whaaa? Yep. No ticket to boozeville for this hound dawg. Let's git it!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Byrdie, sober baking is so much healthier
May we never ever forget to be grateful every single day for our quits!!!

Inthesky, sorry to hear about your husband's current state but good for you keeping your boundaries strong!
I also believe he will, at some point want to follow in your AF footsteps. Please keep close to the nest so we can help support you. You are doing great!

I had a nice visit with my son & grandsons this afternoon, just what I needed
Hanging on to my quit so that I can continue enjoying these special relationship I have with my grandkids, they are worth the effort.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

well a busy weekend and nearly just one month till i celebrate 4 years, with Pav. We have come such a long way in that time and as i told the SO i am still working on myself. i am in no hurry, as long as i dont drink i am ok.

My idiot office Manage sent me an email about my starting and finishing times and telling me i will be docked if i dont do these times. i am the only person who gets in on time and leaves half an hour earlier as no body is there till 8.30am and i work through lunch. he alo cc'd my the new prof who i had mentioned to that i was bullied by this idiot. this just goes to prove that i was right. the prof cc'd back a great response. i am not going to say a word, i have 2 weeks left and if this smile on face kills me i will be the nicest person as i wont lower myself to his level. i may have a couple of days off before then just to annoy him. i would love to do a go slow but its not me but will see how i feel. Remind me to keep smiling in a few days time!

Sky, i refuse to buy al for anyone and thats after 4 years. i got that tip off Lav. if you want to pour poison down your throat you wont ever get any help from me. Great work on saying no and i can imagine it is so hard living with an alcoholic when you stop drinking but you are sounding very strong.

Went to a lovely bbq for the SO's twin grandsons who turned 5. There was one other non drinker and that was it. even the SO had 4 beers and i noticed a change in him which was quite amusing. glad he doesnt do that all the time. once every year is fine.

Wags, i hope you are doing okay and life is settling down for you.

Well time for dinner and the idiot box. the new PA starts tomorrow and i have been asked to show her around, she sounds nice by her emails so i may have another allie in the office. I am going to like karma in a few months time! :-)

take care .

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy sober Sunday everyone.

I woke up this morning feeling so incredibly grateful I had a good night sleep ��! No cotton mouth, no remorse, no guilt, no shame, no dread just happy. I wish the same for all of you.

Roobs

[Marylou123]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Monday Nesters - looks like I wasn’t the only one having problems accessing the site recently. So glad it’s back up. Sending happy sober mojo to all.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Couldn't get on here at all yesterday - looks like maybe others had issues too since the nest was pretty quiet.

Pav - hope you're feeling better and that this week at work is more manageable

Ava - thanks for the check in. I'm doing ok, thanks almost entirely to the fact that I'm not drinking. This whole year could've sent me down into a bad spiral if I'd turned to al for any kind of "help" dealing with things. Instead I feel strong albeit somewhat sad about my cousin and kind of low grade blue just because it's been a hard year. Lots to be positive about though, and I try to focus on that. Hope you had a good evening of relaxation. I'm sure you're counting down the days with the a-hole manager. I honestly don't know how you've lasted this long. Fantastic that the new prof responded in a good way. Perhaps the cc'd email proved your point beyond a doubt.

Lav - glad you had such a nice day with your grandkids. This seems like a fun time of year to be a kid.

Roobs - yay for a good night's sleep and waking up unhung, and especially for waking with gratitude!

Waves and hellos to everyone stopping by the nest today. Happy AF starts to your weeks!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Yep, no posting yesterday... Glad we're back.

Had a nice, lazy day yesterday. I felt a little guilty at first, and then just eased into it. Dinner with friends and a lot of SOBER laughing. Nice way to end the weekend.

Off to the salt mines...

Pav

[Inthesky]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning everyone,
So very happy to see the site is back up. :welldone: My hubby is trying to get sober, AL has been his life since his accident (5 years+) but he has really committed to it in the past few years. In the past few days he has gone in and out of soberness, it is really hard to watch people you love suffer like this, I wish he would just go to the hospital or detox facility but he won't. Good news is I think he is on the home stretch and knows that he will never be able to drink again, I'm helping him find tools to stay sober but he ultimately has to try and come up with a plan that works for him. In the meantime, I am protecting my sobriety at all costs this time as I personally am losing strength with every relapse. I want the woman inside me back before AL took her away.
On to better things I'm getting a four legged friend, he arrives on Thursday, his name is Otis. Not sure if this is good timing but Otis needs a new home and well hubby needs a purpose and something to think about besides himself. So prayers that we are doing the right thing.
Wishing everyone a great sober Monday (especially you Ava) only a couple weeks more.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congrats on 10 days [MENTION=22695]Inthesky[/MENTION] !!!!! Double digits is a great place to be. Glad to hear the positive steps by your hubby. Hopefully he will find the tools that help him. And hooray about Otis! Dog or cat? I'm a big fan of fur friends and pets in general - I think they help us step outside ourselves, in a good way. Will look forward to updates

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sky - we recently got a 4 legged friend to add to the 4 others we had. And are considering another! I thought: "How am I going to handle ALL these animals and two kids?" It was quite the revelation when I realized that I'd have time to handle all those animals if I didn't drink! They do offer unconditional love and need us, so more reason to stay sober. I’m sorry you are going through that with your husband. And glad you are sticking to your boundaries.

Ava - no one in my family has talked about addiction, although I’m pretty sure alcohol addiction runs rampant if you look at my extended family. But it’s been passed down through the generations because no one likes to talk about “uncomfortable” things. We tend to sweep them under the rug. Quite the contrary to my husband’s family, who has raging alcoholics and they are very open about it, thus his parents do not drink. And the kids all have a healthy relationship with alcohol. Hoping I can continue that with our children. And camping usually involved wine, too! It’s so much easier to just bring a couple of boxes of wine in the camper vs. trying to stock the fridge with milk, eggs, bacon AND beer. And sorry you’re dealing with a stupid office manager.

Pav - I’m so looking to close that door. I think being pregnant is giving me a false sense of security. Because I know I can’t drink right now, I can entertain the thought of it later. I keep trying to tell myself I’m not missing out on anything. I mean, camping this weekend and everyone was sober and we had a great time. Not a drop of alcohol in anyone and there was so much laughter.

Camping was so much fun. It’s nice to have your own place to go back to when you need a break, which is exactly what I did this weekend when I needed it. I did not walk into my family member’s discussion traps about things I did not want to talk about. I probably seemed rude, but I’d usually just nod and walk away because I literally had nothing nice to say. I realized that she’s insecure and entitled and there’s not much you can do to change her mind. So it is what it is. There were a few times when alcohol crossed my mind - the men were tending to (and by that I mean riling up at 9pm at night) the little ones while us womenfolk gabbed. I remember thinking: “This seems like a situation where we should all be holding wine.” But I quickly remembered - we’re all pregnant! HA! But it was a lovely conversation without alcohol, so I tried to remind myself that if I HAD been drinking during that conversation I definitely would have said something really stupid and felt guilty in the morning. Felt good to not do that. Probably the last camping trip of the year as it gets cold. Makes me sad because it really is my happy place - turns out even without alcohol. Also, hubby and I don’t fight as much. Hm.

I think my morning sickness is starting to mellow out. I still have really hard hours and that leads to fatigue later. I never realized how draining it was consciously try and act like you don’t feel like shit all the time. But, the cravings are arriving (buckets of cottage cheese, anyone?), which means the nausea will slowly start to dwindle over the next few weeks. Finally, I won’t feel like such a useless employee and mom just doing the bare minimum to survive!

Hope everyone else enjoys an AF week!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Checking in. Hola y'all!

Congrats on 10 days Sky!

Have a great week.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,
Camping sounds fun Moon. I love camping, it is just a great time to spend with family.

Inthesky- you are doing great and your hubby is lucky to have you. Stay the course, it is worth it. Like Moon said, all of a sudden you have so much more time to enjoy your life and do the things you want because you are not wasting time drinking and being hungover.

I just moved offices and not don't have my own office anymore so it is hard to post. I had to wait for my office mate to go home before I could post. My office mate is hilarious so I don't mind sharing.

Have a great sober day everyone.
xo

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Looks like a lot of us missed posting yesterday but everyone sounds good

Ava, when I first quit I made a solemn vow to myself to never ever step foot in a wine store again - so far so good. It will be 9 years this coming March!
I understand that our grocery stores are going to start selling wine & beer in the near future but it won't bother me at this point, I don't drink.
The last few weeks at a job, after you have given your notice are always the hardest. Try to make the most of them, ha ha

Moonking, we were campers when our kids were young. We always had fun & not a drop of AL consumed either. Glad you are starting to feel better too!

Inthesky, Congrats on your 10 AF days, great work!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!
Feeling chilly & have a fire in the fireplace, nice!

Lav