Re: Newbies Nest
G, I love that video. Makes so much sense!
I, too, struggle immensely with what I can and cannot control.
I had another drinking dream. This time I just had 12oz of a local wheat beer that I could TASTE when I woke up, ha. In my dreams I have no control over my drinking. I KNOW I shouldn’t be doing it, but I can’t stop myself. Very relieved when I wake up to find it’s just a dream.
I’ve been feeling better these days - finally hit 14 weeks, which means I have at most about a week more of nasty morning sickness, but this weekend was the best so far. Hubby finally finished the box of wine we had and we had no booze in the house for awhile until he went to get stuff for a mixed drink (can’t remember exactly what it is, but I don’t like it…too sweet.) Anyway, since I was feeling better I definitely fell back into a “I can have a glass of wine after birth!” mentality. But I must remind myself that the signs are all there that I cannot. We had some nasty weather on Sunday, tornado touchdown not far from us. Used to be a big drinking event for us - you know, grab your beer and watch the storm roll in on the front porch. This time we stayed in the basement, but hubby made himself a drink. And stopped at that one drink. I was sort of in awe, because if it was me I definitely wouldn’t have stopped. It was a realization moment for me…cannot go back to the alcohol. That’s proof enough there.
Sorry about all the stressful days everyone, I suppose that’s how life works. Glad we’re all sober through it.
Byrdie - “Getting sober has made me realize I AM good enough.” This made me tear up because you are so right. I’ve been thinking about this a lot, too. It makes me sad to think of how words said to us as children still affect us as adults. My feelings were never validated as a child or teenager. I suffered from severe anxiety, although at the time myself nor my parents knew what it was. I was told to get over my feelings, to stop being dramatic and I very much remember sitting in a trusted adults office when I was 13 telling him how I had stopped eating and had self-harmed and when he brought my parents in my mom rolled her eyes and said: “Is this really even that serious? You know, I have my own issues going on right now.” It was then I learned to keep everything in, learn to put on my mask and be perfect to the outside world. I don’t think it was until I was hospitalized when I was 16 that they started taking me seriously, only then to be told how much money I was costing and getting yelled at every time I relapsed. I strive to not ever not validate my child’s feelings. I won’t be perfect, but I can do the best I can do…and being sober will help me be the best mom I can be.
Lav - I think for my mom she really was fighting with her own personal demons and didn’t know how to deal with mine. We lived in a, for lack of a better term, ritzy, gossipy place where everyone was “perfect” and I think she was fighting to maintain her perfect family with having a severely imperfect child. I think she felt a bit sorry for herself and literally had no idea how to help. I’m the reason she and her best friend at that time are no longer on speaking terms. My mom was a “bad” parent and she couldn’t associate with her. I know that hurt my mom, but she certainly did not have to tell me that I was the reason her and her friend were no longer speaking. My mom and I still have a decent relationship, if she knew how I felt, it would destroy her. So I’ve created healthy boundaries for myself. We focus a lot on her grandkids and she is a wonderful grandma and has finally met someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with, which has helped her tremendously. In fact, a boundary that I’ve always wanted to set but was never able was to stop drinking around her. Because when we would drink together things would get bad. Real bad.
Marylou - I hope you know how much you meant to that young mom in that moment. Sometimes we just need a break and it’s so hard with little to no family around. Little ones are hard freaking work and even a brief break can put everything back into perspective when we’re about to lose it. You’re awesome.
Kensho - sounds like a fun party
curious as to what we all looked like in your dream! It would be fun to meet up with everyone, or like Pav said to have a Facebook group or something. But, I’m also very private about my quit. No one knows. And I’d be sort of embarrassed for you all to see my crazy drinking pictures that have been posted. Yikes.
Welcome, K1. The nest is a great place to keep yourself accountable.
Narilly - let me know what you think of Stranger Things. I just finished it this weekend. Am less impressed than Season 1. Finished American Horror Story, too, so I’m looking for a new series to binge watch.
Holy crap, guys, sorry I wrote such a book. Sounds like I have some stuff to work out, no? This is what happens when your brain clears and you can focus on thinking again instead of not throwing up. Instead of all the food I’ve eaten, I get to vomit all the words that are backed up in my head!
Things are OK here. Sad for my country (US) right now. I don’t know what’s going on. Can’t wrap my head around all the hate and it makes me want to sit in a corner and cry.
G, I love that video. Makes so much sense!
I, too, struggle immensely with what I can and cannot control.
I had another drinking dream. This time I just had 12oz of a local wheat beer that I could TASTE when I woke up, ha. In my dreams I have no control over my drinking. I KNOW I shouldn’t be doing it, but I can’t stop myself. Very relieved when I wake up to find it’s just a dream.
I’ve been feeling better these days - finally hit 14 weeks, which means I have at most about a week more of nasty morning sickness, but this weekend was the best so far. Hubby finally finished the box of wine we had and we had no booze in the house for awhile until he went to get stuff for a mixed drink (can’t remember exactly what it is, but I don’t like it…too sweet.) Anyway, since I was feeling better I definitely fell back into a “I can have a glass of wine after birth!” mentality. But I must remind myself that the signs are all there that I cannot. We had some nasty weather on Sunday, tornado touchdown not far from us. Used to be a big drinking event for us - you know, grab your beer and watch the storm roll in on the front porch. This time we stayed in the basement, but hubby made himself a drink. And stopped at that one drink. I was sort of in awe, because if it was me I definitely wouldn’t have stopped. It was a realization moment for me…cannot go back to the alcohol. That’s proof enough there.
Sorry about all the stressful days everyone, I suppose that’s how life works. Glad we’re all sober through it.
Byrdie - “Getting sober has made me realize I AM good enough.” This made me tear up because you are so right. I’ve been thinking about this a lot, too. It makes me sad to think of how words said to us as children still affect us as adults. My feelings were never validated as a child or teenager. I suffered from severe anxiety, although at the time myself nor my parents knew what it was. I was told to get over my feelings, to stop being dramatic and I very much remember sitting in a trusted adults office when I was 13 telling him how I had stopped eating and had self-harmed and when he brought my parents in my mom rolled her eyes and said: “Is this really even that serious? You know, I have my own issues going on right now.” It was then I learned to keep everything in, learn to put on my mask and be perfect to the outside world. I don’t think it was until I was hospitalized when I was 16 that they started taking me seriously, only then to be told how much money I was costing and getting yelled at every time I relapsed. I strive to not ever not validate my child’s feelings. I won’t be perfect, but I can do the best I can do…and being sober will help me be the best mom I can be.
Lav - I think for my mom she really was fighting with her own personal demons and didn’t know how to deal with mine. We lived in a, for lack of a better term, ritzy, gossipy place where everyone was “perfect” and I think she was fighting to maintain her perfect family with having a severely imperfect child. I think she felt a bit sorry for herself and literally had no idea how to help. I’m the reason she and her best friend at that time are no longer on speaking terms. My mom was a “bad” parent and she couldn’t associate with her. I know that hurt my mom, but she certainly did not have to tell me that I was the reason her and her friend were no longer speaking. My mom and I still have a decent relationship, if she knew how I felt, it would destroy her. So I’ve created healthy boundaries for myself. We focus a lot on her grandkids and she is a wonderful grandma and has finally met someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with, which has helped her tremendously. In fact, a boundary that I’ve always wanted to set but was never able was to stop drinking around her. Because when we would drink together things would get bad. Real bad.
Marylou - I hope you know how much you meant to that young mom in that moment. Sometimes we just need a break and it’s so hard with little to no family around. Little ones are hard freaking work and even a brief break can put everything back into perspective when we’re about to lose it. You’re awesome.
Kensho - sounds like a fun party
curious as to what we all looked like in your dream! It would be fun to meet up with everyone, or like Pav said to have a Facebook group or something. But, I’m also very private about my quit. No one knows. And I’d be sort of embarrassed for you all to see my crazy drinking pictures that have been posted. Yikes. Welcome, K1. The nest is a great place to keep yourself accountable.
Narilly - let me know what you think of Stranger Things. I just finished it this weekend. Am less impressed than Season 1. Finished American Horror Story, too, so I’m looking for a new series to binge watch.
Holy crap, guys, sorry I wrote such a book. Sounds like I have some stuff to work out, no? This is what happens when your brain clears and you can focus on thinking again instead of not throwing up. Instead of all the food I’ve eaten, I get to vomit all the words that are backed up in my head!
Things are OK here. Sad for my country (US) right now. I don’t know what’s going on. Can’t wrap my head around all the hate and it makes me want to sit in a corner and cry.
Hope hubby's doing ok.
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