Newbies Nest

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well here I am trying to slug out a day one. Actually not so bad. I decided to start on my day off. There are many thoughts and feelings that I would rather drink at b/c it in the short run it seems more easy to drink than deal. Seems as though my life is alternating bouts of drinking and not, but mostly drinking. I just prefer to feel better and work my body into better shape which is always a big part of my goal. Anyway I hope/plan to read and post my thoughts and feelings rather than drink at them. This is a tough time of year b/c of the short days and cold. My plan is to join the gym and do some spinning and weight training so that when spring comes I can hit the bicycle in top shape. It is rough for me to go to the gym as I spend most of my time dealing with the public and when I am off I prefer quiet. Maybe a little socializing in a spinning class or the gym will shake me out of my shell that I tend to crawl into during the winter. I just know that there is no better feeling that I get than after a good workout. Booze gets in the way of that and really needs to go. Anyway great to be here reading all the thought provoking posts with the opportunity to reply. I do so appreciate this site and hope to string out some days in this difficult time of the year for me. Thanks to all, hyper

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

So good to see you, Hyper!
It's very late here and I'm off to lala land.. it's so nice to know that even though I'll get under 6 hours sleep tonight (i usually need at least 8), I can deal with it sober. I had a nice nap this afternoon to prepare and can do the same tomorrow if need be. But I know that I will sleep and if all goes well, I'll wake up on the right side of the bed.:happy2:
Looking forward to checking in and seeing you all tomorrow.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Tuesday evening Nesters,

It was a cold & rainy election day here in the US. I always vote but rarely ever feel like my vote counts.....we shall see

Hyper, getting your quit going now is a great idea. You will be strong with many AF weeks under your belt before the holidays hit!
Get the gym habit going too & by next spring you will be ever so grateful!

I remember being tortured with negative thoughts & memories & a whole lot of anxiety before I quit. That's just no way to live, I know that now.
Keep in mind the longer you are away from AL the clearer you thinking becomes. Learning how to kill those negative thoughts & switch to positive thinking is a must. Keeping my thoughts in the present is also a must. No matter how good you are you cannot change the past so let it go. Yes, we do have to learn to forgive ourselves for wasting all that time. I am not going to ever let that happen again, I hope you all feel the same

G, looking good at 70!!!!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great posts, all.
Yes, the mind chatter is THE toughest thing to overcome in all of this. Sometimes you just have to tell your head to shut the feck up!
AL is an easy go to, but other skills can be learned. Its amazing what you can do when you take AL off the table and have to rely on other things.

I just saw a blurb on the news that talked about the correllation between cancer and AL. The risk of cancer goes up dramatically in moderate and heavy drinkers! They called 2 drinks a day moderate and 3 a day heavy (for women). Zoiks, I had about 7-8 a day, I wonder what they call that? Oh yeah, an alcoholic. No telling what I was doing to my poor body and brain. Scary. The only safe amount of AL is NO AL!
Do whatever it takes to shake loose of this awful addiction. Your life really does depend on it.
Have a peaceful evening. Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Howdy howdy! Stopping in at dinner time - my worst time. Feeling really brain fried, and I have my first late work night in awhile - ahead of me tonight. Ugh! I'll give myself an hour or two and decide that it will have to do. It has crossed my mind many times tonight that a drink would stop the fry and chill me out. In actuality, I have just depleted part of my brain and need to rest. Not drink poison.

Hope everyone has an easy night. I'm looking forward to a good sleep. My brain was wired last night because it was the first night not drinking in awhile.

[Inthesky]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just a quick pic of Otis :heartbeat: hard to get a good picture as he is always in motion.
IMG_0017.jpg

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Keep in mind the longer you are away from AL the clearer you thinking becomes. Learning how to kill those negative thoughts & switch to positive thinking is a must. Keeping my thoughts in the present is also a must. No matter how good you are you cannot change the past so let it go. Yes, we do have to learn to forgive ourselves for wasting all that time. I am not going to ever let that happen again, I hope you all feel the same

Lav, I remember hearing you old timers say stuff like this and thinking, "yeah, right." I thought my thinking was pretty clear, and that my anxiety, moodiness, and perseveration on the negative things were all just parts of my personality. It was such a surprise to me that this was actually true for me. My thinking IS so much clearer, and it is a lot easier to stay in the present and not dwell on what might happen, or what negative thing I had to think about myself. I know that some of you newbies are thinking, yeah, right. But really and truly - alcohol is affecting you in ways you can't imagine, and won't grasp until you get a great distance from it. I am not perfect, I dwell and get pessimistic, but what an improvement I have seen.

Ok, still Tuesday, but I wanted to check in this evening.

Glad to see you Hyper - you got this...

G - 70 is a great, big, round number. Keep 'em coming.

Hi, NoSugar - love when you stop by and drop the wisdom.

xo
Pav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

evening nesters

Sky your Otis is just adorable. I would not know what to do without my 2 girls. One is 14 and the other 10 and they give so much unconditional love. My son took his brothers dog who was a pup when he come home with an ICE addiction and that dog was the best therapy for him and now 4 years later they are still together and going strong.

Pav, no truer word was spoken. Al affects us in every aspect of our life and also after we stop for a period of time. I am so glad not to be clouded by al anymore and as we come up to celebrating our 4 years sobriety i know i truly have the life i deserve even with its ups and downs.

Well my life is like a bed of roses at the moment, very f#cking thorny. Village idiot boss yet again bullied me then sent a very pleasant email to the new prof. he kind of forgot to add me in said email but the new prof did cc me. of course it was full of complaints of me overbooking apts, i would say 6 apts is not overbooking and then village idiots side kick came up and told me i was not being part of the team. i did happen to mention that she had not spoken to me for two weeks so i really could not see a team and we had not worked as a team in ten years so why proceed to start now. i have now made an apt at 10.30 tomorrow to put in a complaint. i am completely and utterly done but hopefully i will get a contract to sign soon. nothing works fast in a hospital though. luckily i do have the support of some great doctors who gave me lots of support and cuddles today.

Life goes on, good and bad. i have no inclination to drink at anyone now, i pull out my grateful list and try and be as rational as possible. I have asked for help and i am receiving it, something i would never have done in my drinking days. i do not deserve to be bullied and as of tomorrow that will stop. I have a promotion as i am good at what i do, i am not threatened like others as i am competent. I must say i am quite happy to watch village idiot dig his own grave with his behaviour and actions. All good things come to those who wait.

Take care x

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava,I got so confused when you said your girls were 14 and 10,I was thinking your kids were in there 20's then it dawned on me duh haha Sky,I'm in love with Otis! Look at that face so cute! Wonderful posts by everyone,thank you

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sky - Otis is adorable!!! I'm so happy you have this sweet presence in your life :heartbeat:

Kensho - good that you're aware that dinner time is one of your tough times, and that you chose to deal with it differently than with drinking. We all know how tricky al is - that al voice will find the tiniest little crack in our quit and try to weasel its way into out lives. I try to think of it as similar to the big bad wolf, pretending to be little red riding hood (ok, maybe a more sophisticated example would be better) - but a wolf in sheep's clothing nonetheless. Al will put on any ruse, any costume, throw out any mirage to try to seduce us back into its claws. When I think of it as this type of trickster, it strengthens my resolve because I do NOT like to be duped or tricked. I hope you find your strength.

Kensho and LC - yes, let's all get back into shape together! I rode my bike again yesterday and made myself go the hardest route home (a long steep sweeping hill that is tough both physically and mentally). It hurt, but I know it made me a tiny bit stronger.

Ava - that really sucks what you're dealing with at work. I hope your contract comes through very soon!

NS - So good to see you and to hear that you have "happy pulls" in your life these days. Those are the best kind of pulls to have! :hug:


Happy hump days/eves everyone. No tickets to boozeville here!!!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello dear Nesters..

I agree, Sky, that little Otis is a honey. I'm almost jealous.. but then I look down at the fat cat sitting with me on the sofa, glued to my leg. He follows me around like a dog, so I guess that'll have to do!

Ava, thank God your days are limited with the village idiot. Maybe when you've had some distance and aren't directly affected by him you can try and send good vibes his way when you're pissed at him. Maybe you already do that.. it's what all the Buddhists say and I find it helps how I feel inside. I can't do it so well with people who are in my face.. but with some distance it's easier. So looking forward to celebrating at your 4 year party with Pav. You girls rock!

I had kind of a cool thing happen today. I'd made a very early appt to talk with my main colleague/friend before work. It's a funny relationship where we are quite close and know a lot about eachother because we spend (have for the past 3 years) 30 hours a week working in very close proximity, get on well and talk about (almost) everything. I've wanted to talk to her about my addiction for a couple of years but have been afraid that, in hindsight, she might think (realise) that some (actually almost all) of the problems I had with being sick, not doing my best were alcohol related.. and I was afraid that if I relapsed it could be a very uncomfortable situation.. for her as well as for me. She invited me to her birthday party tomorrow night and I thought I wanted to go but then started feeling anxious about not knowing the other people there, what would I talk about, etc., which is not a good place to put myself in at this point. I didn't want to hurt her feelings and cancel (which I've been known to do anyway) so I decided to tell her the truth about why I couldn't go. She's the first "new" person I've told and it was so good to get it out in the open. I was more emotional than I expected to be but also strong in my decision. For me this is a really big step forward and there's no going back. We're such a close knit group where I work.. and I've been worried people might think of me in a different way. Who knows.. that's not for now. Today I felt so relieved at work. Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.. And the funny thing.. when I told her I couldn't go to her party, she said, "it's of course completely your choice, but just so you know, there won't be any alcohol there..", then she went on to tell me that a friend of hers had a terrible alcoholic father and though he'd always been able to keep it under control himself, he could never separate it from the feelings he'd had as a child.. so at some point he gave it up. He just doesn't like to be around alcohol at all and so she decided not to have it there. I'm still not sure I'll go but she understands. Step by step.

ok. off to read around a bit.
Hugs all around!!

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

70 days - way to go, G! I honestly never thought I’d make it this far. Seems like the days were crawling by at 20-30 and now I look at my app and realize I’m over 70? Wowza for us!

Lav - my husband and I are already planning our 2020 election party. Something needs to change. We don’t get to vote in city elections, which always makes me feel sort of useless. Gearing up for 2018 though!

Byrdie - 3 a day is heavy? Oh geez. I mean, my 3 were probably even more like…6. I’d fill that wine glass up to the TOP. I don’t doubt the correlation with cancer, I mean, it’s technically a poison, right? I’ve always read articles about how you can “heal” your body after 1 day, 10 days, 1 year, etc with no cigarettes…I wonder if there’s anything out there about alcohol. Can we reverse the effects that we did? Although I don’t know how we’d even know the extent of the damage we did…

Sky - OMG. Puppy. I just squealed like a little girl in my office.

Still on the up and up here. Seems that a constant flow of food seems to help…so I currently have bananas, applesauce, pickles, peaches, pineapple, cottage cheese, string cheese, bread, and crackers at my desk. And tonight I’ll be making chicken tikka masala (the only thing I can cook besides spaghetti) so bring for lunch. So much for gaining less weight this time!!

Sun is FINALLY shining here and I wish I could enjoy it from home, but trying to focus on just the positivity of the actual sun. I actually woke up this morning early enough to shower, do my hair and pack my lunch and was able to put away laundry. Feeling more and more in control.

Pav, your post really resonates with me. I tell people how weird it is that during pregnancy (minus the morning sickness period) I always feel so normal. A lot of my anxiety is gone, I feel like I can speak my mind more, etc…I never really made the connection that maybe part of the reason I felt that way last time was not just the hormones, but the fact that I was sober? I suppose there is only one way to find out - stay sober!

I want to make a list of all my “excuses” not to drink after baby is born, so I can come back and look at them. I know they aren’t the best and eventually I need to get to a place where I just don’t drink because I know I can’t drink, but maybe on a hard day these will help:

-------------

1. Having a newborn. Focus on sober sleep. This will make you a better mom.
2. Breastfeeding. Beer does not increase your supply THAT much (if at all, you have not looked into the science of this.)
3. Get into shape. When you drink, you don’t run. When you run, you feel better. Therefore, drinking = no running = feeling like crap.
4. Feeling in control. When you drink, you don’t clean, you don’t do laundry, you look like a mess. When you’re sober, you are in control.
5. Waking up not hungover. This is huge. No amount of alcohol is worth the headache, nausea, sloppy, confused feeling that comes in the morning.

And also, ways to combat drinking when out with friends or camping:

1. Alternatives. Appetizers are delicious, especially the nacho supreme. Dessert is lovely, too. Tea, hot chocolate, espresso (although you won’t sleep), or at the very least soda will give you something to focus on if you need to check out of the conversation.
2. Kid friendly things. All your friends have kids. Why not do a day time park date instead of a dinner/bar date?

Ways to “relax” at home without drinking:

1. Take a hot bath. Your husband can care for two children on his own for an hour.
2. Be present with your children. Just sit and watch them. Listen to them. Laugh with them.
3. Play with the dogs.
4. Organize something. Why does this make you feel good? I don’t know, but when all the canned good products are in the same place in the pantry it sure does your mind good. Same goes with the junk drawer.

Ultimately, remind yourself of just how damn lucky you are. You are married to a wonderful man who you laugh with, cry with and who is the best dad in the world. You have a fantastic job with fantastic co-workers who are making this stage of life easy with a work/home balance. Your house is quite and serene and you have unlimited projects at your hands to express your creativity. You got to go on your dream honeymoon. Your children are a reason to live. Why on earth would you want to give any of that up or miss out on any of that for one measly glass of wine?

------------------

All in all, I hope these activities can lead my brain to proof that I can live a full, great life without alcohol. Easier said than done, I know.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Awesome Post, Moon.. You're sounding clear and focussed. I'm so happy you're feeling better physically and mentally.. in control. And very well done on 70 days!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone. Did not work late last night, did not drink either. Got some much needed rest.

Ava, how is it that idiots make it to the top? I've never understood that. Sorry you had to deal with that.

Moonking, I am very small chested, and I had no trouble with milk supply for two children. I did drink a little, but not beer. I think there's probably a tiny ounce of truth that it could increase supply, but so can many other healthy things. It's an excuse to drink. Good list!

Feeling frazzled this am - not prepared for the presentation I should have stayed up to do last night - so I'm off to perform miracles. Hope everyone has an easy day.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

I have asked for help and i am receiving it, something i would never have done in my drinking days. i do not deserve to be bullied and as of tomorrow that will stop. I have a promotion as i am good at what i do, i am not threatened like others as i am competent. I must say i am quite happy to watch village idiot dig his own grave with his behaviour and actions. All good things come to those who wait.

Take care x

Give me this clowns name and i'll pay him a visit today.......So happy to hear you've lodged a complaint Ava. Bullying is absolutely way way way out of order and not on. There is no excuse or any margin of acceptance for such behaviour. There are really serious penalties for bullying in the workplace these days in Oz. Some workplaces will have a 'Bullying and harassment officer' along with the WHS rep. Anyway, looks like you're taking the steps to deal with the bullying. His offsider needs a proper verbal slapping as well. I hope these people are held accountable for their unethical, unprofessional, and unacceptable illegal behaviour. I'd start by having 'em wash the hospital walls on every floor, then writing 10,000 times.....'I am so grateful for Ava'!

LC, wow, some soul searching stuff going on. Nice.

Kensho, how did your presentation go?

Kingy........:thumbs:

Otis is a cutie Sky!

Thanks for the 70 day congrats all. It really is all about my thinking and where my head is at. This is why i just turn up first thing every morning for myself by doing 5 minutes breathing (meditation) and a couple minutes yoga. I can handle that. My theory is this daily practice is working on my subconscious mind, forging new healthy self care habits and messages. I'm just listening to 5000 years of Yogi and buddhist talk.

Take it easy and get some self loving in today.