Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

G, so proud of you. Great work on 70. You often say just what I need to hear.

Presentation is done and went fine. I could have had more to show, but it was positive and I know where to go from here. AND, I didn't stay up late (which I really have to stop doing), AND I didn't drink. And what did I think driving home from the presentation? "Great job, that's over - now you can relax. Why not a glass of wine?" *SIGH*. I know this drill. I probably could have just one, but I decided I don't like that life.

So, going to take my shaggy son for a haircut and get take out so I don't have to cook. Maybe actually pick up my crochet project now that we have snow on the ground. Sounds fine to me!

Someone recently told me about a strategy for when we are feeling really overwhelmed and brain fried. The solution is this: establish some connection. With ourselves, with something spiritual, or even better, with another person. Stress melts away when we just stop and enjoy sharing some love with someone special.

LC, I forgot to congratulate you on your conversation with your friend. Awesome work. It IS such a weight lifted, right?

Happy humpy night.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

WOW Inthesky, Otis looks like a real killer.......be careful, ha ha! Enjoy your puppy time

Ava, every time you talk about the village idiot I have visions of flat tires on his car - is there any possibility of that happening? LOL
I am glad you are soon to be free of that idiot/moron!

Pav, this is for you

I TOLD YOU SO!!!!

Now, aren't you glad you followed through to see that I really was telling you the truth?? I know it's hard to believe in the beginning but our brains do heal when we get away from AL.

Great to see everyone checking in & doing so well. Never give up, keep moving forward & you'll have no regrets
Wishing all of us a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

My only regret, Lav, is that I clumg to AL thinking it was a lifeline. Its a death sentence. Took a long time to figure that out, hut I finally got it.
Long, long day here. Hugs to all, eapecially Otis, the Wunderdog! Xoxoxo

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

evening nesters

LC so proud of you for speaking out. I found it scary at first but now it is who i am and thats ok. i have come so far in this journey that i am very very proud of what i have done thus far and that i have so much more to achieve. I am proud to say i am a non drinker and i dont have to conform to the norm of society, i will also say i am an alcoholic if needed, all so i can protect what is the priority of my life. This has all come with time and with me loving me and who i am inside and out.

G, thank you for your wisdom and kind words. i put in a complaint about this idiot 8 years ago and HR told me to sort it out with him. Apparently things have changed since then. i had a meeting today and was asked if i wanted the new person to experience what i have and my reply was definitely not. i have an appointment tomorrow to formally lodge a complaint and make him accountable. i am not to meet with him privately when he requests it and i am to call my support network if needed. i do feel better but i dont sit well with being a victim of bullying, i thought the way he treated me was normal and it obviously is not. i have a better understanding of when people say "its okay" when its not okay at all. My contract is signed so i start on the 20th and they are getting in a casual until a permanent staff member is appointed. the wheels are turning and i am off on a different journey and more money. cant complain about that! I even think my mum and i are getting closer through all of this which is a good thing though when i was talking to her on the phone she laughed when i told her i nearly was wiped out by a truck on the way home from work, then i remembered she is nearly completely deaf and it is hard for her on the phone.

Kensho i found it hard to connect with myself as my brain was in overdrive, i did find it easier to chat to other people which moved my mind in to thinking of other things other than drinking and i showered a lot and annoyed my kids a lot too bless them.

Had a chuckle Pauly about the kids. if i had teenagers i would be going insane now. glad those days are over and i can now enjoy the grown up stage.

Take care x

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

i had a meeting today and was asked if i wanted the new person to experience what i have and my reply was definitely not. i have an appointment tomorrow to formally lodge a complaint and make him accountable. i am not to meet with him privately when he requests it and i am to call my support network if needed. My contract is signed so i start on the 20th and they are getting in a casual until a permanent staff member is appointed. the wheels are turning and i am off on a different journey and more money. cant complain about that!

:thumbsups:

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lots of showers. I'll add that to the list! Whatever works. I actually love showers, especially when I have a migraine. Cleansing and quieting. Congrats AVA for speaking your truth. You're worth it.

I have not felt much struggle since I started drinking, until I decided it was a problem again. Now it feels hard to quit. I wrestled with myself a lot last night, and ended up having one glass of wine. WOW. I didn't realize it would be hard to stop until I decided to stop.

Consequently, I had a dream that I was at a hotel parking lot in an SUV. I looked up and saw a small, windy tornado wheeling its way toward me. It ended up on top of me, and I looked up and looked right into the center of the tube, stretching up into the sky. It began to suck the truck up. I put it in drive and finally the tires caught and I screeched into the underground garage, safe. HELLO! ANYONE IN THERE KENSHO?! Duh. I get it, plain as day. I do not want to be sucked back into 3 glasses a night, and that is where this tornado is going.

I was cocky. I was able to have a little for awhile. But I see it changing and I don't want to live that way. Sorry to be a broken record. I did this to myself and now I know what the results are.

Have a good day everyone.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ack! Just lost a long post. I'll be back tonight to try to re-create it!

In a nutshell: Acceptance.

And go, Ava.

xo
Pav

[Quit wining]

Re: Newbies Nest

I saw this the other day and thought it might be relevant for some on MWO.

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
The courage to change the one I can,
And the wisdom to know it’s me.

And the 10 most important two letter words in English - If it is to be, it is up to me.

Have a great al free Thursday everyone!

QW

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just a quick update - my cousin's memorial / celebration of life is this weekend, and I have made the difficult decision to not go. I really wrestled with this. It's a 5-hour drive each way, and I'd have to drive down Sat and return Sun. The celebration is a 3-hour open house, not a formal get together.

I feel a bit guilty, like I'm letting my family down. But in reality, I am not emotionally and physically up to another quick but hard road trip - I'm still dealing with PTSD and neck pain from my car accident, and I'm pretty sure adding that much stress to my plate right now would be a bad idea.

I just sent my regrets with a message expressing on-going love and support. I'm sure part of me truly will regret not attending, but it's also a relief. We will be doing something at home to celebrate her life and to send waves of love to family who will be gathered together on that day.

Sometimes it seems that self-care is the hardest choice of all, or at least that's true for me. Anyone else ever experience that?

Hope everyone has good days/eves :heartbeat:

[Quit wining]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, that was a tough decision to make but good for you for looking after yourself. Your cousin and family knew you were there before she passed and that’s more important than anything.
The fact it was a relief to you after notifying the family you wouldn’t be attending speaks volumes. And it was the right decision imho.
Stay strong! Hugs to you.

QW

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

WOW. I didn't realize it would be hard to stop until I decided to stop.

That was a shocker to me years ago, Kensho. I'd given up gluten very easily almost 30 years ago (when gluten-free foods didn't line all the grocery aisles and eating that was was tough!) and sugar/refined carbs with some but not overwhelming effort, too. I thought quitting drinking would certainly be an adjustment but had no idea how hard it would be. I spent the next several years making and breaking promises to myself while my problem escalated and I felt totally out of control. Shortly after joining here I did what Pav said and finally accepted that those days were done and set about changing my environment and myself in ways that made that acceptance a victory rather than a surrender or defeat. I could go on and on about the benefits of being a non-drinker but in light of where you are now - not having to think about it anymore is one of the greatest rewards! You're spending so much of your precious time thinking about drinking (or not). The freedom and peace of mind that come when you no longer pay attention to those thoughts are better than any high booze can give. For an addict, a drink never makes any situation better, even when you think it will. I hope you can stick with it, friend. You're worth it. xx

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I feel a bit guilty, like I'm letting my family down. But in reality, I am not emotionally and physically up to another quick but hard road trip - I'm still dealing with PTSD and neck pain from my car accident, and I'm pretty sure adding that much stress to my plate right now would be a bad idea.
I just sent my regrets with a message expressing on-going love and support. I'm sure part of me truly will regret not attending, but it's also a relief. We will be doing something at home to celebrate her life and to send waves of love to family who will be gathered together on that day.
Sometimes it seems that self-care is the hardest choice of all, or at least that's true for me. Anyone else ever experience that?
Hope everyone has good days/eves :heartbeat:

It is great that you know yourself and your limits, Wags, and have the self-confidence to set needed boundaries. I've had to do the same recently, knowing that people want me to be where I just can't be right now, and give more than I have to give. I decided at the time that I made my choices that I wasn't going to feel guilty about it then or in the future because I was, and am trying to continue to do, the best I can at the time.

You were there for your cousin during her lifetime, which I think is what matters. xx, NS

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Feeling chilly here, need to light a fire & grab another sweatshirt or something, Brrr.

Ava, so glad to hear they listened to you & helping you with your complaint. Congrats on the soon to be new job, yay!

Wags, you made a good decision for yourself, no worries. Your cousin knew you loved her & you showed up for her while she was still here.
I couldn't care less about what anyone else thinks, a product of aging I suppose. Take care of yourself now, OK?

NS, I have told myself over & over that I most likely have no quits left in me - this one has to the last!!!
Life is going well without AL, no way I'm inviting it back into my life.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening, nesters. Taking tomorrow off! As a result, worked like a dog today.
Rainy and cold here. My SIl texted saying she was putting up her Christmas tree, UGG. So much to do, how did I ever find time to waste being wasted?
Stay strong, do whatever it takes to break loose of this awful addiction. Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Having a nice dinner with my son tonight. Giving myself permission to completely chill out and leave any interview prep for the morning. I need some "off" time.

Thanks for the kind words NS, and the reminder that drinking will never make a situation better. It might relax my brain for a bit, but then it doesn't and it makes me feel really terrible. In fact, since I eliminated a bunch of things from my diet, my body is really good at telling me what it doesn't like. Alcohol is one of them - in many ways.

Glad you have some time off Byrdie. Hope you're doing something fun!

Have a good night everyone.