Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters,
a bit of a quick fly by as I have to bake a birthday cake before work.. wish you were here, Byrdie!
One of the best things about not drinking (as you all know) is getting a good night's sleep. It was no problem for me to get up at 5 when the alarm went off.. mind you, I did go to bed at 8:30!:happy2:
Looking forward to checking in later.. and to a cozy AF weekend.
Hope everyone has a good day..

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

So I had everything done, cake baked, table decorated, when my friend/colleague called to say she was sick with a stomach virus.. poor girl. Fortunately there were other people around to share with!
I've been thinking a lot about letting go.. about how difficult it can be, but then such a relief. I feel a sort of peace right now that I don't think I've felt before. I guess I have while meditating or on a retreat or deep in nature.. ok lots of times, but not directly related to letting go of drinking. It's really nice.

Wags, I agree with the above.. you were there with/for your cousin while she was alive and I think it's great to know what's best for yourself at this point. It isn't necessary to go to please others..

Ava! Big Congrats on having the contract in hand.. limited days with the V.I...

A friend of mine who has gone through the "training" and has been waiting for awhile to become a foster mother, just got a call last Friday from Child Welfare asking if she could take a newborn baby girl.. she had until Monday to decide and has decided yes, she would love to. She has spent this week in the hospital with the baby as they do tests and detox (the mother was/is a drug addict) and it looks like everything is so far so good, so the little one will come home with her tomorrow.. She has had it planned with work and will be able to take a year off and everyone is scrambling around, digging up all the baby things we have. She sent pictures around that make you want to cry.. such a sweet little soul with no choice except to be born.. and her poor mother (who is now in the psychiactric ward of the hospital.. and who will later have to spend time in jail) whose story we don't know, but who so desperately needs help. I've been trying to quit drinking for so many years and I feel so fortunate that I still can (have) by my own free will. I still had the choice, all by myself. Thank god.

I'm off to the movies with a friend who wants to see Blade Runner.. not exactly my cup of tea, but probably not such a bad way to escape!
Wishing you all a nice Friday.. It's just another day, as they all say.. no ticket to Boozeville!! (Sorry G, couldn't wait any longer for it!)

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi LC. You sound good. Sounds like we both need to find those ways to quiet and escape. I love movies too - especially the ones that really take me away from my reality. I can't handle gory violence though, so I know what you mean about that.

As long as I can remember, I've felt overwhelmed. Part of it is that I take on a lot - and part is that I'm unwilling to half-ass what I take on. But my brain seem to get so fast and flighty that it wears me out. I think it's time to do more regular exercise and meditation. I know this works for me, yet I struggle to find time to be consistent.

Running to the shower and then to prepare for an interview. It's one of those things when you're self-employed that is double-edged. I hate the discomfort of knowing I need to pull on some new work, yet I know it will commit my time more than it already is to get it - a balancing act that's hard to walk.

So for this morning I will focus on being thankful. There is so much I have to be grateful for.

Happy Friday!

G, can you dip a toe in the salt water for me? I would like that right about now

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters,

Trying to catch up on the last couple of days here.

Congrats on 70 Gman!

Ava, good riddance to the VI, moving on for you!

Hello to everyone in the nest. I'm coming upon a year next week. I couldn't be here without all of you. I may not post as much but I certainly gleen incredible nuggets of information and shared experiences from all of you. The nest is a safe haven especially when I'm feeling a little anxiety about being the non drinker in a group or knowing I'll be at an event infused with AL. Coming to the nest and using some of my other supports makes me feel comforted that this sober tribe is full of normal, funny, smart, caring, flawed,entertaining people! Being sober is the real deal!

Off to start my day, I've got two dogs wrestling around my feet which is the hint to feed them.
Happy sober Friday!
Roobs

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sobriety is its own reward and then some. Sobriety is a condition of openness and receptivity to the treasure of life. It is the ability to view the world through gentler glasses and hear our fellows with kinder ears. It is the ability to see things as they really are, instead of how we'd like them to be. It is a condition of honesty and willingness to be true to ourselves and others.

On this day we can look out the window when we get up in the morning. No matter what we see - another building, a yard, even an airshaft - it can remind us that we're not the same people we used to be. We can look at this world without fear. It won't bite back anymore.

Sobriety is seeing the world with open eyes. It is the gift of learning how to view the world as a friendly and loving place to be. Sobriety is crying without shame and laughing with abandon. It is a gift that wakes us up with hope and puts us to sleep with peace.

Today let me cherish my gift of sobriety and not take it for granted.

This is beautiful, LC

Congrats on 70, G-man, and Moon!
On the second to last day the VI and sidekick want a team player? My sides hurt Ava!
Is it too late to join the fitness team, LC, Kensho, Wags?

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Wags, you made a good choice. Byrdie - take care of yourself!

Here's an approximation of my post from yesterday...

My start at MWO was not a first attempt at quitting drinking for good. Like NS says, I spent a long time bargaining and making deals with myself about when and how much I could drink. My times off were proof to myself that I wasn't an alcoholic, and my favorite slogan was, "I'm going to have to learn to drink less so I don't have to quit all together!" I lurked here on MWO, smug in my knowledge that I "wasn't that bad," pouring a double cocktail as I read through posts. Even when I first signed on, I was lying to myself and to people here. In my mind, if I could go 90 days without alcohol, I would be cured. I got so much support here, but left after three weeks - I had a concert to go to, and the holidays coming up, and, well, it just wasn't a good time. That week was the Thanksgiving Massacre - a weekend of WAY too much booze after which I was a physical and emotional wreck. I came crawling back her and FINALLY, FINALLY accepted that I had to quit for good. I can now view acceptance as a freedom, but back then I thought I was a weak failure who had somehow done this to herself. It took a lot of soul searching for me to understand that acceptance was a good thing, and that I was one of the millions who are vulnerable to alcohol - for whatever reason.

I was thinking about this when I read a passage from The Language of Letting Go - Melody Beatty's book that is daily meditations on co-dependency. She is talking mostly to people who love alcoholics, but I think it fits for the drinkers, too. Here it is:

One of the most frustrating stages of acceptance is the bargaining stage. In denial, there is bliss. In anger, there is some sense of power. In bargaining, we vacillate between believing there is something we can do to change things and realizing there isn't.

We may get our hopes up again and again, only to have them dashed.

Many of us have turned ourselves inside out to try to negotiate with reality. Some of us have done things that appear absurd, in retrospect, once we've achieved acceptance.

"If I try to be a better person, then this won't happen...If I look prettier, keep a cleaner house, lose weight, smile more, let go, hang on more tightly, close my eyes and count to ten, holler, then I won't have to face this loss, this change." ...

There is no substitute for accepting reality. That's our goal. But along the way, we may try to strike a deal. Recognizing our attempts at bargaining for what they are, part of the grief process - helps our lives become more manageable.

Today I will give myself and others the freedom to fully grieve losses. I will hold myself accountable, but I will give myself permission to be human.

I don't think that end gives us permission to drink, but permission to have that craving, attempt that bargaining, and understand what we are doing.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Wags, feel no guilt about not going, you need to protect your quit at all costs and you know deep down that you are doing the right thing. Protect your quit at all costs. The family did not invite me to Roberts funeral but at the end of the day i was content in the fact i did all i could and we spent some very very happy times together in life. Sending you love.

The 20th November i move to my new job and cant wait. The village idiot is smiling at me and being very nice but i now feel protected from him and have put in my complaint so it is recorded. I am feeling so much better in myself which is a relief as one cannot go to work on valium daily, well i am sure there are people that do but its not for me. my anxiety has felt like it did when i was drinking. another reason why i wont drink again.

Pav what a great post. Oh god the memories! I was so never as bad as the lot that stopped drinking before me! God i never drank out of a childs water bottle, i never drank out of a hairspray bottle, never started drinking on my drive home from work but i did drink each and every day of the week. Be it 4 or 400 drinks it was way too much, i was realising i was an alkie like my brother but i THOUGHT i could control my drinking. I THOUGHT wrong, completely and utterly. I had to leave my ego at the door of MWO and listen and listen some more. I had to realise that i was no different than anyone on MWO, we each have a story to tell, we all have written a book on justification of drinking and why we should drink and why we are not that bad! I had to accept the help given and grow. In 20 days we come up to 4 years. i still dont think it is me but i have done the hard work, i still am, i do it daily but i have the best life i could possibly want. I see people relapse and it makes me stronger and more determined, it keeps me coming back to MWO each and every day. I need the support and i suppose i always will and thats just fine with me. Alcoholism is a part of my makeup, it doesnt define me as such but its attached to me, just like my hand. Always there and to be protected from harm like the rest of me.

Well i am off shopping for a new coffee maker for my new office in 9 days. May go for a walk but may just do nothing. I was nearly wiped out by a truck on my drive home the other day and is sure does make you appreciate being alive, was also great for kick starting the heart and changing underwear!

Take care x

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great powts from the P-AVA twins! Both of those belong in the Tool Box!
Dang it, I worked most of my day off! I did get to sleep late, so thats something. I wont feel guilty nxt time I have a long lunch. I need to do a better job of saying NO. Still working on my disease to please!
Wishing everyone a cozy night in the nest! Do whatever it takes to stay sober today. Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Headed to dinner. Soda for me. Doesn’t feel good right now but I know it will pass.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It's seriously cold all of a sudden, below freezing!! I noticed the chickens all snugged up next to each other on the roost, smart chickens, ha ha!!

Kensho, enjoy your dinner out & forget AL. You are making good memories now, right?

Byrdie, no more people pleasing, geez!!!
Be kind to yourself this weekend, OK?

I have a new kitchen toy & I'm having fun. It's a giant donut pan for baking 20 donuts at a time - woo hoo!!!
I have a feeling I'll be bringing donuts to everyone I know, ha ha!!
Seriously, these are the fun things you can do with your free time when your heart & head are not weighed down with regrets & hangovers
Just keep that in mind when AL starts raising a ruckus, just say NO!

Ava, I am very happy for you & your bright future

Have a safe & warm night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!
I have no idea what I'm doing up so early on a Saturday morning! I do love mornings, though, and I can always take a long nap later, right?

Hang in there, Kensho! You know the drill, as you said. It will pass and After a week you'll be feeling so much better, so much more optimistic.. Don't be thinking of forever.. just right now. Do you have a small goal set? I remember a long time ago, clear as day, when I was talking to my Mom on the phone about drinking and why I'd decided to do it again.. I said, "but I just feel so much better when I drink. I get so much more done.. I feel more like myself.".. she said, "Honey, that's the addiction..", which we all know, but it is difficult in the beginning.. especially if we haven't let it get too far out of control. I hope your dinner went well and that you are ok..

Byrdie, I think you hit the nail on the head (once again!) with the people pleasing. For me over extending myself (mostly due to people pleasing) is a sure way to get myself in trouble. Not knowing my limits is still a huge problem. This weekend I didn't make ANY plans and it was hard to stick by it.. I feel like I'm neglecting friendships. But on the other hand, if I drink or cancel at the last minute I'm doing more harm. Here's to knowing our boundaries!

Lav, very sweet chicken story.. I can just imagine. My cats were doing the same last night and I decided it might be time to turn on a heater. I'm so envious of your fireplace! and tell me more about your donut pan? Do you have a special recipe? I thought donuts had to be deep fried!

Pav and Ava, I agree about the great posts. I'm very happy for the two of you coming up on 4 years..

alright.. off to some reading. In a real book! Which I sadly rarely do anymore.
Wishing everyone a nice AF weekend!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slow day here in the Nest!
How's everyone doing?
any exciting weekend plans? I wore myself out shopping for birthday presents today and I didn't even really find anything.. arghhh.
Tomorrow at 9 I'm meeting a friend to jog and then might go to the flea market depending on the weather.
hugs to you all!!

How are you doing, Hyper? and Moon? and Sky?

Edit: forgot most of you are still having your morning coffee.. ha! I've been up for more than 12 hours so it seems like a long day..

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hiya LC and all.

LC. If you don't mind me saying, you are awesome. 2 things stand out to me. You keep turning up for yourself, and you give a damn about others. I appreciate greatly you taking time out with your words and input into some of my posts. I appreciate everyone else around these parts too.

Weekend plan here is a 15k community run 2 hrs from now. I usually go for 10k runs which are kinda like a 30 day AF stretch in that it's a challenge but do-able. Today i'm pushing the envelope a little adding on 5 k's. Not a great increase, but those last couple of K's start to hurt a little. I really want to do a half marathon one day which is 21k's. So this is only 6 k's short of that. Not impossible i'm thinking! Will take it easy on the run and just enjoy it and get to the finish line without walking. I'll shuffle along like an old man if i have to. These runs serve a few purposes. One of my fave's is my mental barrier and working through that. Noice little challenge/opportunity for some personal development.

Take it easy out there. L8tr g8trs.

[Marylou123]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
It’s so nice to see so many Nesters popping in the Nest lately.

It’s been a busy week here. We decided not to go to N.C., and, so far, my SD has not gone into labor so that’s good. Plus...I hear it’s freezing there!! Byrdie, Lav, Cowboy and all the northern Nesters — I don’t know how you stand it! This bird needs to stay south of the frost line until spring.

Mom was able to spend Wednesday night at her place then the vertigo came back with a vengeance. We brought her back here Thursday morning and, fortunately, already had a therapy session scheduled for Friday morning. Here’s where sobriety is a real blessing: this morning I was able to take her completely through the maneuver the number of times per the therapist. I know it will help her tremendously. I also know I would never have been able to do it if I had any al in me. There are so many great reasons to get and stay sober. Even after more than three years sober, I still marvel at the greatness of it all!

Then I took care of myself a bit with a pedicure. There’s a new cupcake shop next to the nail salon so hubs and mom got really decadent treats.

Happy Veterans Day to all who have served (mom’s a WWII Marine vet -she got first dibs on the cupcakes) and thank you for your service.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend friends — ML

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening, nesters.
It IS cold in NC! Brrrrrr!
Well, I finished my niece’s wedding cake today and I am so relieved. My first attempt went so-so, I make some mistakes but knew I could correct them next time, however the next attempt was 1000 times worse, the more I tried to fix it, the worse it got. The third time was the charm. This is a small cake, called A Cutting Cake, they arent having the big fancy cake, they just want one for tye photo op, good thing, I only can make 6” cakes!
This whole experience was a lot like getting sober, stick with it and you will get it!
26E2ED1C-57AD-45B8-9B7A-223A5DE636F9.jpgHope everyone has a great evening. Byrdie