Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola everyone.

Sorry about the lost chicken Lav. That's nature i suppose.

Wags, run was great. I remember thinking how i felt super at around 9 k's. Warm face, cool not too hot temp. good sweat up. Relaxed and in the zone. Then around 13k mark, my quadriceps got a little heavy and a slight sensation in my knee. Joints a bit stiff afterwards, but now a day later, i'm as good as gold. 15 k's was a long run for me though. I'm used to 10k runs and less. Aiming for a 21k half marathon maybe next year. It's only another 6 k's, but i'll need more longer runs in training to get the body ready. Lungs/engine room had plenty left in the tank throughout. In fact i threw in a few sprints near the finish line. they even called my name out as i crossed and we all got a medal. So we should at $65 entry fee! lol. Top job on your bike rides!

Great work on your sunday runs LC!

Was considering boozing later today when i got home. Alas, i didn't. Phew, was close. Dropped an AB instead which will see me through the week! Could have a date tomorrow night. Pencilled in, and will find out soon. This chick is a good one, but a little flighty. lol.

Take it easy out there.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oh yeah, wouldn't a mulligan be nice. A free shot at life again. What a thought.

The thing is, Hypernova, we can start over at any moment. Unlike in golf, we can't just pretend it didn't happen but we can learn from the past, let it go, and move on in this amazing round of life. Use the feelings you have about the "bad shots (maybe literally :wink as tools to avoid repeating whatever you have regrets about. Bad feelings are our natural signals not to move in that direction, just like physical pain is an alert to stop doing whatever is causing it. Our bodies/minds aren't dumb -- there are internal navigation systems to follow if we just pay attention to them.
[MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION], I hope you can learn to see yourself the way we do. You're one of the most sensitive, kind, and compassionate people I know. Maybe that sensitivity is part of why you get overwhelmed sometimes and feel like a drink is the only solution. Please stay connected here - I know it is easier for you to treat yourself the way you deserve when you do :hug:.
[MENTION=7261]Guitarista[/MENTION], what was going on here?:

Was considering boozing later today when i got home.

I'm so glad for you that you decided on an AB cocktail instead but "considering" sounds like more than a fleeting whim. I know I have to immediately go to my default dismissal of "I don't drink" and not let those unwanted ideas take hold. Anyway, it's great that you're set for the week. Hope your date is a good one :heart:.

You're in my thoughts, [MENTION=20527]Marylou123[/MENTION]. Reversing roles with a parent and not being able to "fix it" is tough. I'm relieved to know that both of us won't have the horrible regrets of not having been there for them when someday they pass. xx
[MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION], in my opinion, this is the myth of the "functional" alcoholic:

Not sure how I was doing things with alcohol being in the forefront.

The fact is, you weren't - at least not at your maximum potential. We can all tell ourselves that we were doing fine in all aspects of our lives except this one little issue. I did that for years but it was just an excuse to keep drinking. And anyway, "functional' is a pretty low bar. If I were told I were a functional mother or functional employee, I don't think I'd feel too good about myself. [MENTION=11704]Byrdlady[/MENTION] isn't a "functional" baker - that cake is beautiful and so special for your niece that her beloved aunt made it.

Good luck with your last week in a stressful work environment, [MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION]. It's great you know you deserve better and had the self-confidence to be vulnerable in seeking more. It is so much easier to run in place, no matter how painful rather than put ourselves out there to be judged.

Thanks for the 11:11 link, [MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION]. I need that or to stay off the internet :eek-new:. I'm sorry about your chicken.

Thank for checking in to everyone I haven't mentioned (and leaving people out is why I normally don't write posts like this one) but I guess I woke up this morning with a lot to say. I spent yesterday playing Henry Kissinger to family factions that are awash in miscommunication. Everyone has what they see as valid justifications for everything they say and do and of course, the views of one side completely contradict those of the other. There is no way to go back and call out and defend every "reason" for what developed. For one thing, memories aren't real - they're all edited to suit our purposes. Everyone has their own version of the past that looks completely real to them. And unfortunately, it is hard to understand that the other's perspective is equally (un)real. I don't think I solved anything but I think I helped open some doors of communication that should allow some relationships to re-warm. I hope so. I couldn't have done this 5 years ago.

I'm off to visit my mom today and tomorrow, grateful not to be full of resentment that I wouldn't be able to drink tonight. Take care, NS

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good for you, Gman, for taking the AB.. Just wondering what was going on today that had you considering drinking?
Way to go on the 15k.. I definitely would've been dying!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC - that's fantastic you were able to talk with your daughter about al, and about your family history and personal journey etc. How did she respond to all of that? It's a good sign that she isn't interested in "celebrating" her 16th in that way, especially since that's the legal drinking age in your parts. For biking, I commute to work that way some days - partly because I just don't feel like dealing with traffic (and partly cuz I still have some PTSD around driving since my accident earlier this year). Traffic has gotten so bad here that I can often get places just as fast if not faster by bike, and I arrived refreshed instead of stressed. We also do longer rides for fun or a good workout, and for that we often ride along the river or spend a weekend day doing a long-ish (20-25 miles) completing all of our errands. Cycling is very popular here, and thus there are many good paths, bike lanes, and other bike-friendly routes to choose from. The rain sometimes makes things a little more challenging, but once you get the right clothing, it's not as bad as it sounds!

G-man - so awesome to hear about your run! Your goal of a half-marathon is within reach and yet still a challenge.

Hyper - yes, a do-over sounds very appealing - a shame we can't arrange for one. I think one of the very few things I truly regret in life is drinking. Nothing I can do but learn and move forward on a different path. It would be interesting (frightening?) to see movies of the two lives though, just for the stark comparison and perhaps to see ourselves from the outside.

NS and Marylou - my heart goes out to both of you and to anyone caring for an aging and/or ill parent. I'm so glad you both are able to be fully present for your moms. Although al tries to suggest that it can help us cope with such situations, we know that nothing could be further from the truth. Nothing quite prepares us for this job or role, and yet I'd guess that most people now experience at least a certain amount of this. Part of what broke my heart with my cousin was knowing all too well what that care-giving is like when something like cancer hits a "young" parent and thus puts children in the role of caregiver sooner than expected. My cousin's kids are 17 & 21, so really young adults, but they sure did have to grow up fast over the past few months.


Well, I'm off for a day of working at home. Ok, most of my work is from home, but today I have specific tasks I absolutely need to get done, and then just one online class to teach this evening. Sometimes I miss the camaraderie of going to a workplace and having colleagues, but then I hear stories from people like Ava and Byrdie and I go right back to being grateful I decided to become self-employed about 10 years ago.

Hope everyone has a great start to the week!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I am DRAGGING this morning. Sometimes a three day weekend resets my clock a bit (stay up later, sleep later) and Mondays are a tad harder. More coffee!

LC - That conversation with your daughter is amazing. I still haven't had that fully confessional talk with my kids. They know I quit because booze was "becoming a habit that was easier to quit than control," but I haven't used the term alcoholic to describe myself (you'll no doubt notice I don't use it here, either). I know that probably deep down I still have shame that I "let myself get like this," rather than being in control. I would say that with each passing month I am getting slightly closer to the truth, but it will be a long haul. I admire those of you who are out and proud, and I have done a lot of reading in the recovery community. Enough to know that there is a movement to remove the stigma of addiction by being open and out about it. I don't know why I have such trouble doing that. There are two people at work open about their sobriety, and I haven't joined in. It feels dishonest to me in some regard, but I just don't feel like making it a "thing." I don't feel like having it be a part of people's understanding of who I am, even though it is who I am...

More to ponder this Monday morning.

Way to go, G. Have a good date.

NS - Maybe Madeline Albright instead of Henry Kissinger?? :egad:

Have great sober days, all.

Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey everyone, sounds like you are doing great, nice to see all the posts.
I haven't been able to post so much, I have an office mate now and he can see my computer full on. I will have to find time at home to post.

I don't have the day off today so I am at work. I love my job so it is fine and so good to start Monday Un Hung

Life is good.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

well up bright and early, well an hour earlier than my alarm. The joy of being a morning person and i love the quiet of the day.

LC so glad Andre is getting better, we all know the life of an alcoholic and can relate to what he is going through. Congrats on talking to your daughter, its hard to admit to our children that we arent perfect (i think mine realised that one a long time ago, my illusion only) but they love us unconditionally and they learn from us also. I would not be where i am today without my 4's love and support and confidence in me.

Hyper, if i looked at the last ten years of my drinking career on film it would be one big blackout i think and cringe worthy. Today its a much nicer smoother journey, mostly! Now i have less tolerance for fools and idiots but maybe that is age also. Keep up the good work and take all the positives you can out of life, the oldies gave me that titbit of wisdom and some days it was near impossible but it was always a positive day if i did not drink.

NS it has been very stressful these last weeks with my job but i know i am more than capable of moving on and i dont feel threatened by the presence of a new boss, others not so much and those precious people feel the need to take it out on me. I am safe and secure with moving on as i have done the hard work over the years and it has been shown thus a promotion and acknowledgement. Not many sleeps for me now and no valium as yet to get through the day, i can see the positives shining through now!

G, any reason why you felt like a drink? Glad you popped that AB but figuring out why now will help next time. I think i could have drank at the colour of the carpet the last few weeks but luckily time away from al has been a massive tool in my arsenal of tools.

I had a lovely weekend doing nothing. Yesterday i was on my laptop checking MWO and the other asked why i still come on here. I looked at him like he was some sort of alien and said its my accountability for the day, its my habit and a part of my life, the people on here are a part of my life. I told him that just because i was sober nearly 4 years that it did not ever mean i was cured. Then he made me a coffee and his alien features disappeared bless him.

Sorry about your chook Lav, i lived on a farm when i was growing up and i think every chook was my pet, my favourite was Ernie who was arthritic and i named him after my bus driver. Oh the things you remember!

Work is just a dream (insert sarcasm), one of my bosses told me how stressed the two village idiots are, i just had to laugh at that one. My complaint seems to have worked as they are in the process of hiring and the new secretary will be accountable to the new professor so job done really. As long as they are safe in that environment then all good. i can see some very bad vibes coming my way when they find that one out but as long as i stay out of the way this week and smile i will make it out the other side.

Hi to everyone i have missed, time for work.

take care x

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Abbers,

Pav, I think the Madeline Albright instead of the Henry Kissinger persona is much better for NS

NS, after my mom passed away 31 years ago I fell into the role of being the family fixer of everything. I was only 32 years old at the time & definitely not ready to fill those shoes. Dealing with my dad & my 3 brothers & their wives over the years just wore me out!!! I had to step out & pay some attention to myself & my own family at some point. Take care of yourself too!

Kensho, you sound stronger, I'm glad.
To answer your question I am now down to only 8 chickens, very unusual for me. I gave away most of my flock near the end of the summer, our Amish friend with the big farm took them off my hands. I was feeling pretty down after losing my 14 1/2 year old dog the end of July. The last two years taking care of an ailing 100 lb dog were rough, I needed a break. That was a pretty goofy flock of chickens, noisy & fighting with each other all the time. I now have a nice, friendly small flock - much better.

G, congrats on your run & your great decision to not drink!
Good luck with your date, ha ha!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all. No feather picking now - hear me?? LOL

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening, all.
Gosh, what a long day, I worked as hard as I know how and still didnt get it all done. We had a new order entry person who takes great pleasure in finding mistakes in our orders, and copies the boss on them. Something as minor as a zip code, rather than just fixing it, she’d rather write four emails about it. Unreal.
A coworker of mine used to say a day like this was a brown liquor day! Frustrating from start to finish.
Looking forward to Thanksgiving next week! Hard to believe! Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola all,

I reckon what was going on was unrequited romance! Why? who? where? what? etc. etc etc! I could overthink and create scenarios out of nothing with zero evidence, and thats exactly what i was doing. It brought with it a sense/feeling of melancholy...........for a few moments. But it's ok, i recognise it and am onto it.

Thanks for the question everyone. Big wave to all. Take it easy out there.

[TJAF]

Re: Newbies Nest

Howdy. Checking in. Always good to see familiar names. Sorry to see that some continue with the battle to stay sober but hopeful that the battle will be won. Maybe not today or tomorrow but eventually. My battle lasted over 20 years before I quit for good. It will stick. I've also been tested this year and alcohol never entered the equation...really that's true. For a guy who could down a bottle of vodka in a four hour sitting that's simply amazing to me. This year sucked in so many ways, from my son's near fatal accident, the loss of his beautiful fiance, breaking my shoulder and the eventual shoulder replacement to finally the loss of our wonderful 15 year old dog who just wandered off breaking our hearts. I'm so happy though that I remain sober. It's all there for all of you. As the wonderful mentors on this thread will tell you, sobriety in there for the taking...fake it till you make it. Love to all.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

TJAF - Good to see you. I was aware from some of your previous posts that you'd had several challenging events or situations over the past year or so, but I hadn't heard about your dog, which is heartbreaking. I'm terribly sorry for all of the ways in which you, and your family, have been tested. Great job keeping your quit through the whole lot. I've had a year of challenges as well and am proud to stand with you strong in my quit. It really does go to show that we can get through anything without al, and in fact, it's easier and you come out more intact on the other end. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs to you and your family. :hug:

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

TJAF - That IS a year. I was corresponding with a sober friend, and I told her that the most amazing thing is that whatever comes my way now, alcohol is not part of the equation my brain uses to deal with it - it just doesn't come up.

Byrdie, I'm worried about all of your work. Take it easy on yourself! We haven't had a good Byrdie waffle in a long time, so I know you are BUSY. People like that order entry person make me crazy...I hope you do get some time to relax.

G - So sorry - that is a crappy position to be in.

I am making the turkey this year, and it is amazing how much (UNSOLICITED) advice I've gotten from my family on how to cook it. I keep telling them that I am FINE if any of them wants to cook it, and otherwise, they should keep the advice to themselves. I don't like getting into a rut of tradition, so that is making some people uneasy as the stuffing won't be exactly like my mom did it.

Off to work now. Need to better figure out how to get exercise in on these dark winter nights. It makes me crazy if I don't exercise all week.

Ta,
Pav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav. Now listen up. Before you cook that turkey, you've got to pluck the feathers, K?

Good to see you TJ. A tough year to be sure. Sorry to hear about your dog. That's always devastating.

Byrdy, take care of yourself. Big waves to all.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

and Pav, I've got the best stuffing recipe in the WORLD! if you're interested!!:happy2: Gosh, that sounds like a bit of pressure.. but you seem up for it and ready to smash it! (do we say that?) I wanted to tell you that the night before last my younger daughter couldn't fall asleep due to thoughts/images that she couldn't get out of her mind.. she was crying and began to panic a bit, because she really didn't want them in her head.. and we all know, the more you fight them, the more intense they become. I told her that I had a friend that swore by counting her inhalation, holding and exhalation to calm herself.. we did 5 seconds for each and it was so nice to hear her calm and then fall asleep.. the next morning she came into the kitchen with a little grin on her face and told me that she'd slept really well.. she was so impressed at how well it worked! I told her she was learning a life long skill that she could use anywhere! so thank you for that. Last night the thoughts came back and she was upset again.. before breathing we talked a bit about thoughts and different ways to deal with them (3P's).. I love that I can pass on what I'm learning here.. things I wish I would have learned as a child..

TJAF, what a difficult year you have had.. some how I feel like 2017 has been difficult for many. I'm so sorry to hear about your dog wandering off.. that's Very sad. Thank you for checking in and letting us know how you are. I always appreciate your advice and especially your encouragement.

ok. I'm too tired to write more.. I had plans to stay up later than the kids.. but it's not gonna happen.
Hugs to you all!!

I'm looking out for Sky and Moon.. wondering how you are..!