Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks Wags!

Happy 30 days Elsie! Wow, eh? Great job my friend. You are Raaaaawkin it! :dancin::spin::balloons:

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lifechange, on behalf of the whole nest, I hope you will accept this small token of a big job....your hat! :guy: Congratulations on your 30 days, no question they are the toughest ones and are now part of your new history. We are so proud of you! Keep up the great work! Hip hip....hooooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PP2

[Jude58]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey G....do you think that a little WD40 would help before I try a little yoga?

[Jude58]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congrats on your 30 days LC! Do whatever it takes to keep it that way, and thank you for your kind words yesterday. :victorious:

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC - Congrats on your 30 days, and thank you for sharing what they have been like for you - how you have been approaching them differently. You truly do seem like a different person in some ways, although I suspect it's really more a case where you've tapped into parts of yourself that were simply tucked away.

Please know that, as you are living so conscientiously, you are also helping so many others on similar paths. I wholeheartedly appreciate your presence and contributions here in the nest, and I thank you for showing up every day.

So go ahead and celebrate the beginning of your better life - we are right here celebrating with you!!!

:yay: :congrats:

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

CONGRATULATIONS, LC! I love your open, vulnerable posts. Thanks for sticking with yourself - you're worth it.

I have had a lot of anxiety this weekend - a lot going on in many aspects of my life. When Kensho talked about that 4pm tequila shot, I had a moment of rose-colored memories of that quick-acting (albeit quite temporary) anxiety reduction that a shot of tequila brought. I haven't thought about alcohol in that way in a long time. I am lucky in that the fear and memory of what alcohol ACTUALLY does for me is still strong, and I have this sober community to come to. I'm not going to drink (I don't drink, right Narilly?), but it was a good reminder of why vigilance is necessary.

Happy Monday - hope you all have great weeks.

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

And today I really feel like celebrating the beginning of clarity and a better life.. With all of you!

Right there with ya LC! Its great to hear you feeling so at peace and moving forward with hope and clarity. I remember that feeling; looking forward to it again. And I wouldn't say my husband is not being supportive; I hadn't given him the chance to be either way, knowing what he has said in the past.

In fact, last night I was really craving a drink. Feeling yucky physically and mentally and wanted an "out". I was irritable, and he asked me nicely before bed what was going on. I mentioned various things... tired and about to begin a demanding week, not feeling like I got much done this weekend, feeling remnants of the virus we had... and then I said "and I'm not drinking. And that was my go-to stress reliever". I left it at that, and he mumbled something supportive, like "yah". I put it out there. Before our Thanksgiving trip I flat out told him that I was planning to partake as the opportunity came up because I wasn't feeling strong enough to deal with his family or the holiday, but that I would likely quit when we returned home. SO this shouldn't be a surprise. But he did offer me sips of his drinks on our night out. I think last night was a good first step letting him know what I'm doing. These conversations will become easier as I get stronger; they did last time. I found it easy to state my case matter of fact and just set the boundaries: me sober or no me at all.

Anyway, made it through. I never dreamed it would be this hard to stop again when I had that drink back in May. And through the summer, when it didn't feel hard to say no. But once I flipped over to the bad behavior again - well, back in the same boat. And let me tell you, I get sea sick

Hope everyone has a great Monday. Lots of good stuff to focus on if we are mindful of it.

G, you are inspiring with your sun salutations. Keep up the good work!

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

First of all, 2500 (plus now!) days, Byrdie - that’s just fantastic! And 4 years to Ava and Pav as well - wow! You are all big inspirations.

Missed a lot so I’m trying to catch up.

Kensho - hope your little one is feeling better now (3 days later!) it’s no fun when they are sick. Oy, hearing about pre-teens does not make me feel good. I’m convinced a lot of days my 3 year old hates me and it’s some how my fault like I didn’t bond with her enough. Not sure I can do this for the next 10 years! Hopefully it gets better. I also very much understand how a drink feels like it will cure your anxiety. I know 1 or 2 always felt like I got more relaxed, but by 3 or 4 I was feeling like shit again. But I feel you on how you are perceived on the outside. Drinking has always been a “joke” - like the mommy needs wine stuff. But no one (outside of my husband and I’m not convinced even he saw the worst of it because I got good at hiding it while he was awake and refilling bottles) saw the issue for what it really was. I still took care of my daughter, made it to appointments, worked full time and had sober days. Not like I was walking around sloshed or getting into bar fights every night. Wish I had better advice for you. I’m just so sorry you are dealing with this.

Narilly - ugh, that was me at parties, too. Usually made it to the bathroom but ugh…yeah…bad memories.

G-man, I do anything to have that sort of energy in the morning. I drag myself out of bed even after 12 hours of sleep and it takes me a good hour and strong cup of tea before I’m pleasant to anyone or anything.

LC - I’m sorry to hear about your friend. I don’t have any real advice. I had a best friend who I lost not too long ago (2 years, maybe?) after I said something really stupid (wine was involved, but honestly, I would have said the comment regardless of the wine.) Even after realizing what I said, apologizing many times, she still decided that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Looking back, our relationship had become toxic and she was looking for a way out. Would have happened regardless and I’m actually 100% happier without her drama in my life. I mourned the loss of the friendship and am finally at a place where I wish her well and hope she’s happy. I’m not saying this is your situation at all - but I believe that true friends (while it can take time to gain back trust and whatnot) truly want to spend the time doing it. They’re there through thick and thin no matter what. I agree with Lav. I certainly hope you can work it out if that’s what you both want. It’s no fun to lose a friend. And CONGRATS on your 30 days!

Marylou - congrats on the new bundle! Hope everyone is recovering well, I’ve heard c-sections are no joke.

Hubby never took and kid and dog away, had to get our fence done. I’m actually a bit disappointed I didn’t get some time to myself, but that’s OK. I did get all my organization projects done, which I was not expecting. Being sober really does allow me to be extremely productive, but I think I need to rein it back in a bit. Started on a pallet project (oddly enough, it’s supposed to be an outdoor bar - but I’m going to use it for potted plants.) Note to self, spray paint might SEEM like it’s easier, but it’s most definitely not. :-/ It’s very strange how much I can get done when I’m not in a constant drunk/hungover state.

Definitely have had some, f*ck it, when this baby is out I’m going back to drinking thoughts lately. But, I’ve been trying to repeat the “I don’t drink” mantra in my head. I also told myself, “What is it going to hurt to not drink for awhile after baby is here? Nothing, it will hurt absolutely nothing.” I also reminded myself I’d have to drag myself to MWO and admit what I did. I don’t want to do that come May. I want to still be counting my days. Stress is a big trigger for me I’m learning and I’ve just had a hard time at home. Lots of anxious thoughts, lots of being at odds with the husband (and toddler - am I sure she’s three and NOT thirteen???) and usually alcohol was the go to. But now I must face those things and communicate. Which I have been bad at. Instead, I’ve been passive aggressive and moody. At least I can admit it?

I’ll admit I’m mad at myself for not being “normal” and able to moderate. We had a gift exchange at work and someone (jokingly) said, “This is the first year I haven’t seen you lunge for the alcohol!” I of course laughed it off saying, “Well, if I can’t enjoy, someone else should!” When in reality it sort of killed me inside to know that people noticed it. I certainly hope I’m not lunging for the alcohol again next gift exchange. This year I made out with an adorable picture frame and a Starbucks gift card. I don’t drink coffee (and refuse to pay $4 for a cup of tea) so I guess there is a lot of hot chocolate in my near future. I think I’m OK with that.

If anyone is keeping track, the current craving is salsa verde. Like drinking it straight from the bottle.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

LC 30 wonderful days for you, great work and you are doing it all right. i always figured that being on here for 5 hours was better than the 5 hours of drinking i used to do. those thoughts and urges will eventually fade but always be aware for those times and you cant do wrong. Oh the village idiots all arent talking to me and that suits me fine, i dont miss where i used to be at all and love my new job.

Congrats on being a nana Mary what lovely news. oh i remember your pot holder knitting, i was busy knitting scarves and still am! I had a chuckle about your mum, reminds me of mine. we dont talk about my being an alcoholic, i think she wonders how she had two children that turned out like that. I know she is proud but she would never say it and i have accepted that now. i cant change her but i can accept that she is what she is and keep making myself and others proud.

Wags, you must be a mind reader, i have a headache from hell today and my neck is not giving me any love, i am up contemplating the drive to work and i am 99.9% sure its not going to happen. the positive is it was the car battery, the road assist guy got it wrong the day before bless him.

Kensho, hubs will get it eventually, he may as well give in and accept it also :-), doesnt he get that life will be easier for him also if he supports you! Great work on 7+ days.

Oh Moon, i had a chuckle about your 3 year old, i used to call it terrible 2's and the f#cking 3's. If you think she hates you now wait till she is a teenager! I am so glad that now my 4 children are human and those hard days are over. They love you unconditionally our children (most of the time).

Oh G if they had smaller cans of WD40 i would probs have one in my handbag, fixes anything that stuff!

take care x

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey G....do you think that a little WD40 would help before I try a little yoga?

Definitely Jude, but don't drink it. I squirt a little around the hip region in inclement weather.

morning nesters

Oh G if they had smaller cans of WD40 i would probs have one in my handbag, fixes anything that stuff!

take care x

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[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I think I have some WD-40 around here somewhere, ha ha!! Gotta stay loose, right G?

LC, Congrats on your 30 AF days & all the many more to come. We don't drink & we don't argue or torture ourselves about AL anymore, right?

ML, Congrats on the new baby, yay! Is this the first grandbaby for you? Awesome, I love being a granny

Kensho, at some point the husbands will finally get the full message about what we are doing & why. Until then just stay focused on you & follow your plan.

Hello to everyone else & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks LAV and AVA. I think he will figure it out too. Feeling crappy tonight. Like the winter has finally hit me. Wanted to just go away tonight - still do. But I'm weathering through and looking forward to bed. SO excited for bed. Hope everyone is hangin in there too.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

I am also sooooo tired right now. I finally let myself go to bed at 830 (after an hour long snooze on the sofa!) and had to drag myself out of bed at 6.
I think it must be the winer, Kensho..
and I have so much to do before our upcoming trip next Thursday.. I'm going to make a manageable list this afternoon, crossing out the things that aren't really necessary!
Moon, it's good to see you! I was thinking about you over the weekend and hoping everything was fine..

ok. Off to work.. see you all a bit later. xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest


Prize Patrol checking in....we have a winner! Our very own Wagmore is clocking in with 500 days! This is BIG....bigger than BIG! Its YOOOOOGE!
Roll out the barrels! :hangingmonkey: Quick, who plays the accordion? Where's Turnagain when you need her? Wags, we are so proud of you, your example has been simply amazing, you faced adversity and celebration, with nary a drop of booze in sight. Keep up the great work, we are so lucky to have you in this nest. Well done!
PP2

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Prize Patrol checking in....we have a winner! Our very own Wagmore is clocking in with 500 days! This is BIG....bigger than BIG! Its YOOOOOGE!
Roll out the barrels! :hangingmonkey: Quick, who plays the accordion? Where's Turnagain when you need her? Wags, we are so proud of you, your example has been simply amazing, you faced adversity and celebration, with nary a drop of booze in sight. Keep up the great work, we are so lucky to have you in this nest. Well done!
PP2

Aw shucks... I was just logging on this morning, excited about posting my 500 days in roll call, and my screen opened up to this as the very first post I saw. Thanks Byrdie! I have been looking forward to this milestone since the summer I think (one year) or at least since I hit 400 back in Sept-ish. It's particularly meaningful because I know my quit has been tested. I'm still dealing with lingering effects of my car accident and still grieving my cousin's passing, but I can definitely say I'm in a much better place for having faced this horrible year sober.

I couldn't have done it without all of you. Having this safe place to check in every day with people who know this path has helped me beyond words. Thank you to each and every one of you for being here and sharing your support as well as your struggles.

Onward to the 18-month milestone!!!