Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Monday Morning:

LC - I don't think of it as selfish to think of yourself now. That oxygen mask analogy makes sense - you have to take care of yourself first so that you'll be bale to take care of everyone else. Relax and enjoy...

I don't have a regular meditation practice either, but it is one of my New Year's goals. I would like to make it more a regular part of my self care. For now, I use it for emergencies...

Alright--Going to make it through this week, dragging my co-workers with me on my shoulders if need be. Will schedule a massage for next weekend, and take some time to unplug next week.

Happy SOBER and UNHUNG Monday!

Pav

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey everyone!

Sounds like you all had great sober weekends. I did as well, although had many, many more “I can’t wait to start drinking” again moments. Finished up my to-do list, but the last thing was to put together a desk that proved to be way more difficult than I thought. Many curse words and stubbed toes/fingers later all I could think about was how a large glass of wine would be at that moment and I was slightly angry I couldn’t have it.

I did try to remind myself that I didn’t drink.

However, I woke up this morning hangover free and that was a good reminder as to why I don’t drink. Especially after seeing hubby down 2 (3 maybe?) glasses of wine and have trouble this morning. I did actually think, “Wow, I never have to feel like that again.”

I did my stair stepper for 20 minutes today and plan to walk at lunch. It feels good to be active again. I think maybe I’ll get up in the morning and do 30 minutes of walking on the treadmill, as well. Get those good feeling endorphins going again. And if I ever want to run again, I can’t drink…because every time I drink I would not get up and train. I would rather run than drink. That “high” not only feels better and lasts longer, but is also natural.

I am amazed at how much my eating habits have changed since not drinking (although maybe this is pregnancy?) - when I drink I tend to crave terrible foods and have a much harder time staying away from them. For example, with soda - when drinking I couldn’t give up soda. I felt like I had to have it every day. I was really expecting to feel that way again, but now that it’s been a week…I don’t even crave it anymore. In fact, it sounds kind of awful to me. Keeping myself full has been a good thing - which is exactly what I used to do the opposite of - less you eat the less alcohol you need for the same effect, right? Wrong. I’d drink the same amount, just feel worse about it.

I’m going to look into the stages of relapse, didn’t even know that was a thing. I know for me, right now, my thought process is: “I can totally control it this time. No more than 1, 2 at most. And only occasionally, not every night.” But I have to look back and remind myself of all the times I’ve tried to do this and it just gets worse and worse each time. Because, no, I can’t control it.

Everyone who is taking time off - enjoy! I’m still hoarding as much time as I can for maternity leave (thanks, America!).

Oh, and if anyone is wondering…we found out - It’s a BOY! What in the world am I going to do with a boy? Still trying to comprehend!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, your MWO renunion sounds like a lot of fun! Did we all look like our avatars? Bah!
I have two days of vacation left, so will be taking those next week. Got a bad case of 'don't wanna works' today!
Over the weekend, I bought one of those gingerbread houses that has all the stuff for you to decorate, so I'm looking forward to playing with that next week. What a relief it is not to have to plan and scheme about AL over the next couple weeks...had to plan on having enough, didn't want to run out when the stores would be closed (for A DAY, how pathetic is that?) I will be very happy to sit and work on my gingerbread house!
Hope everyone has an easy day. Fight like heck to get past these holidays AF....I promise it's worth it. I NEVER thought I would have MindPeace, but I DO, and it's the greatest gift of all (and I paid full price for it) Bydie

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

As I've said before, I don't think I could have managed my currently chaotic life if I still were drinking, and have wondered how I possibly would have pulled it off. But it occurred to me recently that I wouldn't have all of this going on if I still were drinking. I would have manipulated things and made excuses so that my dad and sister had even more of the responsibility for my mom and I wouldn't have developed the relationships with my grandkids that make it possible for them to be with us a great deal of the time due their parents' crazy lives. I wouldn't have been considered the person to turn to for help because I'd have turned everyone away with my constant and mysterious "unavailability". I would still be living my sad, boring, drinking session-to-drinking session life and while I'll be glad when things calm down at least a bit and I have some PHYSICAL PEACE to go along with Byrdy's MIND PEACE, I would have missed out on so much good stuff - now and in the future.

Moon, it is interesting that you find it easier to give up junk food when you're not drinking -that is great! Many people use it as a substitute to get some of the same reward chemicals going in the brain. The problem with that is that it kind of keeps the addicted part of the brain active, not to mention how bad the stuff is for you anyway.

LC, I was in yet another social situation the other night. I was tired, didn't really have much to say, wasn't too interested in the conversation, was sick of listening to people pontificate about things they don't really know, was tired of all the alcohol-related jokes and gifts (all positive images meant to encourage and normalize drinking poison), and on and on and on. Usually I do what you suggested and try to get another conversation going by asking questions and giving people a chance to talk about themselves (which most seem to love to do!). But, I decided to jump on the self-care train, made my excuses and headed on home. I had to walk a few blocks because someone else had driven but by the time I'd been in the cold air looking at all of the bright and sparkly Christmas decorations on the houses, I felt good and was glad I hadn't stayed simply to meet others' expectations. I'm sure they had a fine time drinking all the wine after I left, anyway, and quickly forgot that I was gone. By, the way, I just LOVE reading your posts that show so clearly how you've changed how you think about drinking! xx

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone, I had another glorious AL free weekend again. Life is good.

Moon, yes, YOU don't drink. I tell people I don't drink all the time now and it feels good. At the beginning I found it hard to tell people I didn't drink but now I am proud.

have a great sober day everyone. Sorry about the short posts but I share an office now and it is hard to post.
xo

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

well how nice was it to sleep in with no thought of work. Its going to be hot hot here today so need to get the outside stuff done before it hits but its nearly 30celcius already at 8am. blah to that.

Oh wags i have had an mwo dream also and i was lovely, it just reinforces how important and a part of our life everyone is here. I always love waking up after 4 years and reading how everyone is going each and every day. I wish i had done online shopping but of course i have left it too late. my daughter came over yesterday and wrapped presents for me and i bought a king sized doona cover instead of a queen so i have to go back. the thought of it makes me think that pulling out my fingernails would be more pleasant so i have to psych myself up for that one. A large coffee will help i am sure.

LC it doesnt matter what others think, feel confident in you and all will be ok. if you sit with a smile on your face and say nothing then thats ok. talk about addiction, now that will bring on lots of opinions or shut everyone up. i have no care for politics except to say they are all ar##holes and most people like the sound of their own voices i have discovered. I am doing not much on my leave except recharging after the year i have had. will spend some quality time with my girls, tolerate mum who has now decided to leave all her earthly goods to one of my children and deal with the afterflow of her actions when she informs the others on xmas day. not that we care what she does but its her actions and behaviour that are hard for us to understand. i am going to support my other children and hope she doesnt cause a scene on xmas day which would not suprise me as it happens every xmas. if i had my choice i would go and sit under a tree and read a book on xmas day much more peaceful.

The SO has finalised the sale of his mums house and was very sad, since he expresses his emotions like a brick i suggested we go and play snooker and have a meal which was just what he needed and i won which was just what i wanted! I am hoping he has time off over xmas to relax but will see what happens, he is a workaholic which of course i am not! i am unsure if i will see him xmas day and i have told him its ok if i dont, its just a day and if he is too sad i understand, i would like his support for the day but ive dealt with fam xmas before so i can deal again. my mother tends to behave herself more if there is someone else around. I do know i wont drink at her ever again but its stress i dont need.

well off i go to do some housework, take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Great to see everyone checking in & growing stronger by the day

Moon, welcome to the world of raising a boy. I wish you the best & a lot of strength, ha ha! My daughter was nearly 4 when my son was born, thought I knew everything I needed to know. Boy was I wrong!! Have no fear, you will figure it out as you go along, I did

I don't know how many MWO dreams I've had over the years but they have always been good, kind & useful. It's funny that we can weave our way into one another's lives like that. It's also kind if comforting. After all, we probably know each other better than our best friends!

Byrdie, Ava & everyone taking some time off - good for you! I am self employed & I do the same. I refuse to be pressured by anyone any more, LOL
I'll be waking up another year older in the morning, Glad to report that I finally, really do know better

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well gollllllllleee Lav. Happy birthday lovely lady!

:celebrate::black::spin::balloons:

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Bday LAV!! Hope you and Mr. LAV and the chickens have a great celebration! I’m realizing the challenges of working with kids at home (those things don’t go together). Ugh! Not drinking here though!! Feeling stretched but hanging in there. I’ll be on day 20 AF first day of 2018, with a lifetime ahead.

Keep up the good work everyone... and with those salutations G!!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav, wishing you a very happy birthday! I hope you and the girls have a wonderful, relaxing day! Birthdays are even more special when you are around to enjoy them! BAH! Hugs and love to a very special lady! xoxoxoxox, Byrdie :flowers:

[Marylou123]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Birthday Lav — May your day be filled with peace, joy, cake, ice cream, chocolate, and LOVE!

[abcowboy]

Happy Birthday Lav!

[TJAF]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Folks: Hope the holidays are good for one and all. It's a tough time I know, lots of temptation so stay strong. So the reason for my visit. I read in the paper the other day that researchers have found that most heavy drinkers aren't alcoholics. Wow, who in their right mind would do such a study. I mean does it really matter. Was it the alchohol lobby's research; you know, I just have to ask because here's the damage from such an article. It got me thinking. Ya maybe Im not an alcohoic, of course I'm not I was just a heavy drinker. I mean its been 5 years right. I can drink now because you know, I'm not an alcoholic after all. Oh thank you science ...but somewhere in the backwoods of my brain a quiet voice was saying ya TJAF onw littel sip, that's all just one little sip and I got ya! you see I cant stop after one littel sip, I really can't, and with that my bigger brain said FU science, There now I feel better Happy holiday's folks

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy birthday Lav!!!

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy birthday, Lav!!!

Just a quick check in for me. 114 days and counting. Last night was just incredibly grateful (once again) to be sober.

I feel like things are on the up and up where I am mentally - exercise and healthy eating will do that to you, I suppose. While I haven't had a major talk with my husband yet, we've been more connected lately. We have a co-worker who has been been having a tough time in his relationship and I think it's been making us both realize how lucky we really have it. He's been validating me more lately and I've been trying to rein in my anxiety as well and assess a situation before I go ape shit.

Still on this rollercoaster of "I bet you can drink" and "No, you don't drink" so I'm letting the emotions come at me and taking them head on. Why, why, moonking? What on earth would one/two/three glass(es) of wine do for you that a run or finishing a project can't? Besides give you one hell of a hangover in the morning. You might want to be one of those people who can just drink a bit on holidays, or has a good time once or twice a year, but you're not. And you just need to deal with that.

Off to start a big project at work - hopefully this positivity I'm currently feeling (one day at a time) can help me find my motivation.