Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nest:

Moon - here's one source for reading about the stages of relapse. If you Google it, you'll find many more. I appreciate that you are letting us know about your thoughts, and I do think that your thoughts will have to change if you're going to stay sober after pregnancy. Seeing hungover people makes me SO grateful that I don't drink. I'm glad I don't have to hang out with them a lot, but it does help. Have you read through the tool box here? There are some good suggestions. I also recommend Hip Sobriety, Unpickled and Mrs. D Goes Without - great blogs about women getting sober. Congratulations on having a boy! I have two of them, and after being raised with two sisters, it was a steep learning curve. They're great.

NS - I practiced self care this weekend. Skipped a giant holiday party and just stayed home. I made a good dinner, read my book and went to sleep. I emailed the host and apologized and we made plans to see each other in January. Done. I wouldn't have seen her much on Saturday anyway as the party is so big she would have had to be saying hi to the crowd.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LAV! Hope you have a fantastic day!

Another day that I'm gratefully sober.

Pav

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters,

Driving by the nest this morning.
Sounds like people are staying strong and committed. So much good stuff going on.
I'm grateful to read up on everyone and reaffirm my own commitment to a sober holiday, a sober life!
Doing pretty well over here in Roob land, enjoying a quiet holiday. I'm not hosting Christmas dinner this year which I am relieved about.
I'm going to a new doctor today to talk about hormones,energy,menopause and other fun stuff. I'd like to stay healthy through this next chapter of my life.

Happy Birthday Lav, hope you are treated like a queen today.

Happy sober Tuesday everyone.
Roobs

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ok, I’m very behind.

LC, I’m glad you visit with your dad is going relatively well. Way to put the “I don’t drink” right out there - and YEA for them being mostly supportive! I did a lot of building up how others would react to me quitting, instead of just letting them do so - I made things bigger in my head than they actually were. Glad you stated the facts and moved on! Oh, and I painted my daughter’s walls a dark teal - a little more blue than green. It looks nice with the contrast of white and cream furniture and sparkly gold accents. Looking forward to finishing that for her. And kudos to bribery - it works!

NS, I do best when I shut down the idea of drinking quickly. It’s not avoiding it, but just not giving it much merit because it’s such a bad idea. I have always been attracted to Buddhism, and am happy to report that my husband is newly interested. I find many ideas relevant to the inner peace we all seek - and it seems like more of a philosophy than a religion, if you find the more western interpretations. Scientists have validated the positive effects of meditation on the brain and being. Looking forward to listening to the podcast you posted.

WAGMORE, your list is also very helpful. I find it a very convincing argument that the list of reasons not to drink is much longer.

G, only you could pull of “Sugar Babe”. Love when you drop in. How many days are you?

Awesome to see you TJAF! Love hearing your 5 years is going on 6. It is amazing how alcohol is pushed.

MOON, I am glad to hear you are feeling good and appreciating not drinking! And a boy!! Congratulations! There is nothing I treasure more than the warm bond I have with my son. I love my daughter to pieces, but more estrogen is just drama sometimes. You will LOVE having a son! It’s really special. On another note, I recognize your thinking of “No more than 1, 2 at most. And only occasionally, not every night.” Oh MAN do I recognize that. The most I ever drank in a night was 4 drinks, so you’d think I could go down to 1-2 occasionally, right? Wrong. Once the addiction switch is tripped, and I think everyone here can admit that that has happened, it’s over. There’s no going back. At least that’s what the science says, and, as BYRDIE says, has happened to everyone who’s flown into the nest in her 7 years here. I wanted so badly to be the exception, but there don’t seem to be exceptions. I am not one to talk, as I drank after both of my pregnancies. I just wish I hadn’t. I could have saved a lot of time - like 11 years.

BYRDIE, I sure would like to see a photo of your finished GB house! It is not easy to make those look tidy - would love to see what a professional does!! HA!

I am feeling real, actual, genuine benefits from not drinking. I don’t want that mess any more. I feel like I have myself back - and what a sad thing to lose. I know I went through these same epiphanies before my previous quit but it is still so refreshing to have more hours in a day! I feel productive and ready to read my book at 9pm, not fall into bed because the alcohol is wearing off. I don’t feel as toxic. I am so much more emotionally and mentally balanced. And I take care of myself so much better. I used drinking to be a reward for pushing myself past boundaries I shouldn’t cross (like working too hard or too late or not sleeping enough or doing anything so hard that I needed a hit of pleasure). Now, I realize that I should just take care of myself in the first place. I might not be as productive, but the wonder woman thing is just not working for me any more. I think I might like to trade that cape for a monk’s robe instead.

It doesn’t matter if it’s one apple that would cause terrible anguish and brain torment - if it does that, I don’t want it. Even if the rest of the world eats apples. Coincidentally, I do love apples, and so does my chocolate lab Nesta. She runs down stairs when she hears the fruit drawer and knives chopping and stands drooling until I toss her a bite.

I have some harsh deadlines this week - big presentation Thursday for new clients so I can’t disappoint. I felt fairly anxious last night, and actually had a weird racing heart thing where I felt really weak and weird. I am not sure it was an anxiety attack - some times I have strange arrhythmia stuff. So I’m drinking less caffeine and keeping the perspective that I will get done what I get done, and the worst that can happen is that these clients fire me. There are other clients. Top priority is taking care of me.

Have a lovely day. Two more days until the days begin getting longer here - can’t wait!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes
Getting older is definitely not for sissies, ha ha! But I am trying to focus on gratitude right now. My poor Mom was not in good health when she turned this age & was gone 18 months later. I am healthy so I am grateful that I get to have more time for the fun things like my grandkids

Cowboy - that chicken!!! Thanks so much!
PS: none of mine actually have blue eyes, ha ha!

We had a rather balmy day, sun & all - much better than a birthday I remember 6 or 7 years ago when we had a blizzard.
Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!!

Lav

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Birthday, Lav!!!! I hope it was a wonderful one.

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

Some helpful hints during this season. I thought someone might like it.

How to Stay Sober during the Holiday Season

[jane27]

Re: Newbies Nest

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Happy Birthday from me too Lav!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!

Happy belated Birthday, Lav, fellow Sagittarian!! I'm glad the weather played along with you..I hope this is will be a wonderful year for you. I'm sure happy to have you here in my life!

Kensho, you're sounding great! In a strong frame of mind.. I'm with you on losing the wonder woman cape for a monk's robe! I'm thinking that slowing down and becoming more mindful helps with prioritizing. I find that I am doing a bit less, letting some things fall to the side, but I'm better with the things I decide are important/fun/worthwhile.. Your daughter's room sounds beautiful!

NS, thanks for that! I'm all about leaving the party early.. or not going at all. And even with my Dad, if he begins to repeat his stories, or gets so far gone that I feel like hanging out/talking with him is a waste of time, then I depart. Like you said, most people continue to enjoy their wine... and/or don't remember the next morning anyway!
Pav, good for you for having a nice self-care evening! I mostly prefer meeting up with my friends outside of parties.. especially if they are hosting. I'm happy not to have any big holiday parties to decline this year..:happy2: Thanks for re-posting the relapse article. And the short list of tips you posted a couple days ago. I had forgotten about them.

Just a short one now.. I want to respond to more. Girls have just awoken and I have had a childhood friend visiting who is leaving this morning.. so more this afternoon.
Much love and strength to you all!
xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nest.

Love to see you however briefly, Jane!

Just a quick check in. Came home after a 12 hour day and my son had cooked dinner! Such a nice, welcome surprise.

Hope you all are well.

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Jane - nice to see you stopping by!

Lav - hope you had a wonderful birthday!

Byrdie - can't wait to see pics of the GB house

Moon - congrats on the boy!!! As others have said, you will figure it out, and I imagine the experience and bond you'll have with him will be quite different than with your daughter (all of it good of course)


I'm loving all the posts with info, suggestions, stories about how to stay strong and sober through the holidays. Fortunately, I don't have a lot of socializing that centers around al at this time of year - for me the temptation in the past would have been more around being somewhat depressed through the holidays. This is a tough time of year for many people, and I have had years that the holidays were brutal. They remind me a lot of my beautiful mom who I miss so very much. But now that I don't drink, this won't be an option. This year, I'm mostly just ready for 2017 to be over, and I'm simultaneously hopeful that 2018 will bring many good things!

Hope you're all having good weeks. Stay the course!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Great to see you Jane!

Looking forward to next year too Wags! I'm sure it'll be a ripper for you and all here if we continue to go for it.

Dinner prepared? Noice Pav!

Kensho, i'm day 113 on this thursday morning over here, right behind Kingy. I remember how disappointed in myself i was when we were both past 100 and heading for 200 together a few months or so ago. I dropped out and felt regret and remorse. But i bounced back just like you are doing. I got busy with stuff i had to do, but importantly, also with stuff i love (lucky i love my work). Keeping busy, i lived in the moment without 'fear or favour'. I had to. no dwelling on the past for me. Today and everyday is always a brand new dawn, a brand new opportunity to shine. The days soon pile up don't they? Keep raaawkin good buddy!

Hope u had a fab day Lav!

LC - You RAAAWK! That is all.

Hope you're enjoying yourself and getting in some quality downtime Ms. Byrdy.

All good here and strumming away. L8tr g8tr's.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Waves to Jane!
Two more days this week and Im off! Looking forward to some down time.
Hope everyone is having an easy day! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Had a busy Hump day but all is good

Hi Jane, nice to see you!

Anyone who will be experiencing their first sober holiday season - look out. You are going to be absolutely amazed & proud of yourself. It will be an accomplishment & something you will remember fondly. May this be the first on many sober holidays to come. If I can do it I know you all can too! Make yourselves proud & stay close to the nest

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all. Thanks again for the birthday wishes, makes me feel loved

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hope everyone's just busy and not straying from the nest too far!

I got my designs done for my presentation tomorrow - just have to format and send to the printer. So glad to almost be done with the work this week!

Hope everyone has a good night!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

was a bit stressed and could feel a case of the f***it's coming on out of nowhere. Came here and Lav, thank you for that!! ""Anyone who will be experiencing their first sober holiday season - look out. You are going to be absolutely amazed & proud of yourself. It will be an accomplishment & something you will remember fondly. May this be the first on many sober holidays to come. If I can do it I know you all can too! Make yourselves proud & stay close to the nest "" One more time for good measure!
I'm back at my Dad's for a day and I'm not used to having opened bottles of wine and liquor everywhere. For me it's easier when it's not around.. but I don't drink! They haven't asked me today if I want anything, which is great.. I used drink with them and then raid the hard stuff. Today I noticed I was checking out the cabinet and I'm not sure why. I remember last time I was here my Stepmom came out of our bedroom with a huge glass of brandy I'd hidden in an old rolltop desk.. she'd been looking for something. Of course I didn't admit to it being mine so she blamed it on a friend of my Dad's who'd been visiting a couple of weeks before. I remember the girls looking at us, witnessing the conversation. I never want to go back there again.
So I have some sort of fancy lime sparkling water, am getting ready to make dinner and will go to bed early to wake up Unhung and ready for a hike and a yummy coffee.. Sounds much better.

Kensho, glad you're prepared for your project! Good luck with that tomorrow..
Jane, forgot to say HI to you! I also love it when you pop in..

Big hugs to all of you and wishing you a nice Wednesday evening!
xx