Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Xpost Pav! Have a great day!! You most definitely deserve it!!

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick check in - and I hope everyone has a great holiday this weekend! (if that’s what you celebrate )

Hit a small snafu this morning with some plans that were supposed to happen tonight. Never would have been able to let go of the stress if I was drinking or accomplish the boundaries I set in place this morning with my family. I hate being a people pleaser, but I here I am.

As I collapsed in the car on the way to work after some stressful back and forths with extended family, I realized how much more difficult this would have been had I been drinking. If I was drinking, tonight would be a bad night (we’re having some of MY family over, which always means lots of alcohol. Partly why I’m grateful to be going to my in-laws the rest of the weekend since they don’t drink.) Inevitably tonight I would have too much wine before people arrived, skimp on dinner for more wine, then indulge in some after dinner liquor. Would say something really stupid, which I would regret at the moment, the rest of the night and in the morning. Not to mention waking up feeling awful, having to entertain remaining guests and then make the 2 hour drive to my in-laws.

Instead, I’ll be sipping sparkling white grape juice, filling myself up with delicious pizza, and probably ending up in a dance marathon party with my toddler. Oh, and waking up with a clear head, a whole head full of good memories of the night before and can enjoy the scenic, windy, curvy roads to our next adventure.

If those two stories aren’t something to keep in my own personal toolbox to remind myself why I don’t drink, I don’t know what is.

But seriously - everyone have a safe and happy weekend.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great stuff Kingy.

Sounds like y'all are having a nice time Elsie. It's heart wrenching reading the stories from everyone about our kids finding booze bottles or recalling booze fuelled behaviour etc. Sheesh, now this is surely something we have to remember and use to help us never go back to living numb again.

All very good here at 6:40 a.m. on saturday morning. A good sleep had after a busy day at work yesterday on my feet for most of it, but loving it. It must be day *&^%(*!@!! but who, i say who's countin'? The feeling is ever so good waking up sober and living sober. I agree that gratitude is one of the strongest tools we can use, and i will keep it close and in my mind throughout today and everyday. Sadhana done. Relaxed, focused, and quietly energised with love, hope and gratitude. Go git it Nesters.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good afternoon, nesters. After a day of trying to act busy at work, I'm now trying to do my daily call report and my computer is acting up and I'm having to reboot! Dang it! I'm about to start making sausage balls for a neighborhood party we're going to tonight. I remember the first Christmas party I went to sober. I was NERVOUS, Ill at ease and quiet. Mind you, I used to be the life of a party....I was the one with the lampshade on my head. OY. So that first year was different. The second year, I found a real trick that helped me.....ACT DRUNK. No amount of my acting could compare with my knuckledragging stunts, but it was kind of fun to let loose....I had more than one person ask how many of 'those' have you had (pointing to my cup). Being sober doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself, it just takes practice. NOT relying on that easy crutch is a skill that can be learned. I will eat before I go to this party, and I won't be the first one there, that's when the temptation to 'loosen up' is the worst. If you slide in when there are more people there, it's easier to maneuver. I ALWAYS take my own drink and fix it. I'm just not willing to take a chance on getting something spiked by someone handing me something. Call me paranoid, but I know how I am. If I drank at this point, I just don't think I'd ever be able to get sober again. And my health and peace of mind are MORE important than a dam drink.
Looking forward to some down time!

I found this site in 2009 and lurked for a LONG time before I was able to come out of the shadows. I have seen thousands of people's stories. I have been coached, and I have coached. There is one thing I know for sure. As long as AL is in your life, IT will win. The only way to manage addiction is to avoid the substance we are addicted to. That makes perfect sense....UNTIL you are trying to beat it. Making deals with AL is useless....I tried. 1000's tried before me and 1000's tried after. There is one thing that works every time... Let it go. Hope is not a strategy, get a plan! I have no regrets that I quit. My biggest regret is that I ever started.

Hope everyone has a peaceful evening. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Great to see everyone! Great to hear everyone's plans too

I have just gotten home with my granddaughter, she's spending two nights here, fun times. These special times would never be happening if I was still hugging the wine bottle. I am SO grateful that I kicked AL to the curb when I did so I never have to miss a moment with the kids. They were my incentive to quit are my incentive to stay quit!!!

LC, Moonking & everyone dealing with difficult family situations right now - just hang in there, you'll get through this holiday season & be proud that you did

Hello to G, Byrdie, Wags, Pav & everyone checking in.
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sounds like everyone is hanging in there.

Great words Bydie. Thank you.

I'm finishing day 11 as we speak, and it feels like longer - only because I am not bargaining with myself. I do think about drinking and want it sometimes, but I have left the bastard. So it feels like I'm starting that new life again.

Sorry people are having difficult family situations. It's always somewhere in the holiday equation, as everyone has opinions and expectations. I feel that if we just be sure to take care of us, it will all work out.

I had a long 4-day work week, but I had today off - and will enjoy no work over the next week. I took the opportunity to take my kids (and the neighbor kids) to the pool, lunch, and then we made cupcakes. My son was in heaven, and I enjoyed giving the little ones some much needed attention.

We also found the game called "Speak Out", where you put a plastic thing in your mouth that opens it up and makes hard to talk. Sounds strange if you haven't heard of it, for sure - but we laughed and laughed. There's nothing like laughing that moves energy. Medicine.

I am SO tired. But the kids are in bed, so I will wrap presents. It will be nice to be done with that, and I can enjoy the next couple days. We have one set of parents coming to us tomorrow, and then we stay the night at the other set on the 24th. They all know I don't drink, and my dear mom has been texting me to tell me she has good sparkling water, and to ask if I like hot spiced cider. She genuinely wants to make sure I have something special to hold in my hand. The single. most. supportive. person. in. my. life. So thankful for her. Husband is on board now too - so far at least. SO plans are in place - it's just the doing now, and the getting through the hard stuff so the strength continues to grow.

Hugs and gratitude to all of you. Sending warm thoughts around the world.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sorry to hear of the challenges some folks are having with family over the holidays. We don't have too much of that to deal with here - both families are relatively easy and the few members who are difficult are thousands of miles away. It's sad that sometimes the people we're closest with are the ones who cause the most grief. Sending strength to all during this holiday season - may we all build warm memories of the sorts that bring us smiles and happy thoughts as we move forward!

Kensho - I haven't played the game you mentioned but have seen pics or something so I know what you're talking about. Looks ridiculous and silly - just the kind of things to get people laughing! Glad you had such a fun day. I'm sure your kids enjoyed their time with you. Hang in there, the days will add up quickly, as you know. You'll be at 3 weeks right around the new year - woohoo!

Byrdie - I'm sure over the last 8 or 9 years here you have seen just about everything - countless times. It's really helpful to hear the stories and wisdom you and some of the the long-timers share with us "newer-bies" Although so much of it is common sense, al seems to take that sense away temporarily. Enjoy your down time!

Lav - it's great to hear how much you're enjoying your sober time with your grandkids, and how deeply you appreciate and protect your quit.

Moon - so glad you signed back on here when you felt the need. That's one of the many things the nest is for, and it sure works best when you check in frequently. Sorry you had some stressful situations with family, but good job refocusing on the pleasant way things will unfold for you. Hope you have wonderful holidays with your various family members. Dance your butt off with your toddler!

Hellos and waves to everyone passing through the nest this weekend! And happy holidays - all of the holidays - to everyone who celebrates one or more of them. For me, I'm dang happy we've had solstice and are now moving toward longer days again. Yee-ha!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!
Just a quick fly-by this morning.. sounds like a really nice day with your kids yesterday, Kensho. And what a lovely Mother you have!
Wags, we also celebrated Winter Solstice this year with a hike and are very much looking forward to the days getting longer..and here's to building warm memories..
Byrdie, thanks for that post! I love the daily reminders here. I'm not worried about drinking but I'm also staying on my toes. Actually I guess I am still a little worried about being caught completely off guard and doing it anyway because I have done just that so many times in the past.. I'm enjoying my time here (jet-lag is gone!), remaining very aware of how I'm feeling, staying close to all of you all.. With time I'm becoming more confident.. but still, I find I'm afraid. But like Pav mentioned a couple days ago it's probably good to keep up a healthy fear!

So we've got a nice Farmer's market here on Saturdays and will head over there.. a hike later in the day. Yesterday we went to Target and the girls went nuts. We don't have anything like that!:happy2:

Wishing everyone a nice weekend..

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

So am I the only one that hid empties in the toilet? Ameteurs! Bahahaha!
I survived the party, I stayed a couple of hours and hubs stayed a couple hours longer. He asked why I left so early, I told him that when you arent drinking, things arent as rivoting. I heard the same story 3 times from the host, he was lit! My neighbor across the street invited me to join her WINE CLUB. I told her i wasnt much of a drinker and she said NO PROBLEM we just sip. Mind you, this lady is a hard partier. I doubt seriously if they just sip. One of the members I caught topping off at another party, it was the kind of top off I used to do.....heavy handed. She persisted that I join them, looks like aim going to have to pull out my raging colitis story. The food was very good and it was good to see all the neighbors. Thats one down and two to go.

I have the gingerbread house box in front of me, Im going to size up the situation. Im scared! What I so admire about children is their NO FEAR attitude! They would take this box and tear into it with reckless abandon! I, on the other hand, must over-think it! UGG! There are five words on here that worry me....let dry for 4 hours.

I ho ho hope everyone has a happy and easy Sattidy!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I have an annual tradition of getting out on the trails instead of the mall before Christmas. Looking forward to being away from the craziness today.

I have a new job this year and the work drinks hasn't happened yet. Yesterday a coworker asked me if I prefer wine or hard liquor and I told him I don't drink - I said I had developed a habit as a way of relaxing and that I'm an all or nothing kind of person - which is actually true. I'm not a very good moderator in anything. Pizza, ice cream, work, etc. Something for me to keep in mind. People always have interesting reactions when I say I don't drink...

I really don't want to drink, but I do want a quick fix for my anxiety. I know there isn't really one - I can try my meditating, breathing, exercising and it helps, but also sometimes I just am anxious. Sitting with those yucky feelings is a part of being me. I have a better understanding that they will go away now that I don't drink.

All about me today. Thanks for your posts everyone. Have great SOBER Saturdays.

Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Having fun here with my 6 year old granddaughter. Lots of fun & giggles & neither one of us drink, ha ha!!!!
Imagine the concept - having substance free fun geez, who knew?

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Glad you are enjoying your 6 yr old granddaughter LAV. She will remember good times with her Gram, no booze breath included.

PAV, love that you hit the trails. Great tradition. Hope it filled you up with goodness.

Hanging out with family tonight. Has sparkling grape juice which hit the spot. My dad said, “So you’re not drinking at all now, huh?” I said no and he said “good for you.”

Sending good thoughts to all here. Don’t do anything you’ll regret tomorrow!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - I'm sure your GB house will be lovely just like all of your other creations! But nope, never hid any empties in the toilet tank. Elsewhere for sure, and I used to discard empties in recycling bins behind grocery stores so I wouldn't have to put them in front of the house. Ugh!

Lav - enjoy the giggles

Pav - I'm not a great moderator either. Ice cream has become my comfort food this past year, and come January I'm going on an ice cream "quit" so to speak. Love that your tradition is to it the trails. We have the same tradition for new years day! Hope you had a great hike.

Kensho - yay for the support from your mom and dad!!! That's awesome.

LC - hope you enjoyed your hike as well. Yep, Target can be overwhelming for anyone not used to similar stores. Hopefully your girls went nuts in a good way!


Waves to Moon, G, Ava, QW, and everyone else stopping by. Hope everyone is having a good weekend and good holidays. We're bracing for snow here. I'm going to be enjoying two more days off work, then two days on with heavy schedule, and then one last 4-day break before I have to hit the ground running on Jan 2. Too bad we can't relax extra on our days off and then bottle it up to save for busier times of life. Ah well, c'est la vie!!!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters,

Today is day 50! I'm pretty happy about that, especially since it's my last day 50 ever. :happy2: Kensho, as you mentioned yesterday, it seems like it's been much longer.. having made the decision/commitment and then living it out consciously each and every day makes the hours stretch. At least for me and I like it that way. Yesterday on my hike I was thinking about time and remembering this past Summer.. I feel like I didn't even have a Summer and I didn't really. It was just 3 months of me trying not to drink and failing. Each and every morning promising myself I wouldn't and then giving in mid afternoon..Even though I often had it under control, it was constantly in my mind, the battle. I managed to fit in one nice trip (4 days) with the girls.. but other than that?
So today I will celebrate with my family here and all of you!

Kensho, very nice that you've got both parents on your side! Enjoy the quiet days..
Pav, hope you had a fantastic hike! This is what I miss the most in Berlin and haven't found a replacement for. Yesterday as soon as my feet hit the trail, I felt the stress release.. I love it..
Lav, how wonderful to spend time with a 6 year old! Playing and laughing..
Wags, I agree, wish we could bottle it up! I'm going to focus on relaxation these next couple of days, taking care of myself.

I hope everyone has a nice Sunday..
xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC - Congrats on 50 days!!!

:congrats: :sohappy: :yay:

Half a century and on your way. You're doing fantastic. I think for you and Kensho the days will start to add up more quickly as you round the bend past these holidays and benchmarks or milestones.

For what it's worth, I felt like I didn't really have a summer either, and I know several people who have said the same thing - without the trying not to drink and failing part. It seems like it has been a strange year all the way around.

Enjoy your celebration today!!!