Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening, nesters!
Belle, I thought you you the other day and wondered how you were doing. Snuggle in and lets get this back on track. Welcome back.
Rahul, so good to see you, I just love your posts. It IS a different life when you are anle to break the cycle of addiction and pick up a cycling addiction! Happy Holidays to you!
Hyper, Im sorry you are feeling low. I can hear Lav in my ear so many times telling me to shore up MY PLAN. This would be a great opportunity for you to do just that. What are measures to can take to ensure you keep your quit intact? We are here to help.
My heart goes out to all who are caring for aging parents. It’s hard and thankless. 5 years ago today, my dad developed a sniffle. It was the flu and he was hospitalized and developed pneumonia. We all rushed to his bedside and waited for the inevitable. We lost him on Jan 2, 2013. The circle of life is tough. QW, no truer words, I am so thankful I was sober to experience his last days. Really his last two years. I would have been devastated if I had missed out on those last precious moments.
Do whatever it takes to get and stay sober. Our lives depend on it.
Hugs to all, Byrdie

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

@Rahul !!! SO happy to see you here and to hear of your grand cycling adventure! Cycling is my passion too (along with paddling), and like you, I also have a Trek steed that I absolutely love to ride How wonderful that you were able to add these extra days to your trip, and to be able to reflect back and see the contrast of your life now vs back in 2004. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

QW - I echo your recommendation of the book Final Gifts. I was my mom's caregiver during her year of terminal cancer - we're coming up on 10 years since she passed (hard to believe). I discovered that book shortly after she passed, and oh how I wish I'd known about it before. This past summer, when my cousin learned that she had terminal brain cancer, I recommended the book to her - something she could mention to her teenage children, her fiance, her siblings etc. When I went down to see her in Oct, about a week before she passed, I found that everyone in the family had read the book and deeply appreciated it.

Hypernova - you are so very welcome :hug:


Fighting off a bit of a cold here, and really hoping I prevail. It doesn't feel like I'm gonna go down for the count, and I hope I wake up feeling like it has passed. Such a difference in my immune system when drinking vs not. I've always been a person who rarely gets sick, but the few periods in my life where I was frequently sick were all during my heavy drinking years. Knock wood, this quit will pay off in more ways than one and I'll pop on here tomorrow to cheer victory over this little virus!

Hugs to all nesters. Thanks so much for being here. :hug:

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

An interesting thing happened Christmas eve. We were eating at my nieces house for the annual party, and I was talking with her dad, and a friend of his. Her dad has been sober, as long as I've known him, going on 30 years or so. I was looking for something to drink, non-alcoholic, and the only thing available was water or Coke. I don't drink soft drinks either, just don't like them, too sweet for my tastes. My wife mentioned that I didn't drink any more. He asked how long it had been, and I said about seven months. He said, "great job". My wife asked how long he'd been sober, and he replied, 3 years. We were both a little shocked. He said he relapsed in 2012. He was at a business function, when a waitress handed him a bourbon and coke, instead of just plain coke. He said he looked at it, and just drank it. After 25 years! He said it was no problem at first, at least the first few weeks, then things spiraled out of control again, and two years later, his friend, who was with him this night, took him back to AA, and to the hospital for a medical detox. He said he could not stop shaking. And like many of us, he never lost a job, never had a DUI, car accident, and never ended up in jail, but was in prison just the same. I never knew.
His friend is also in recovery.
Wow, 25 years!

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great to see you Rahul! Got to back on that bike myself!

Wags, I'll be joining you on that ice cream quit, Jan 1! It's become a nightly habit as well, lol.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

A win in the not drinking department. Two different kids needed me and I was able to be there for them. I would have been “there” of course, as a parent and guardian, but without drinking, I was able to offer level headed and most importantly, unselfish attention. Drinking made me focus on my next drink, and then focus on how tired I was and that I needed to check out and go to bed. But I was present and available and paying attention so I was able to see not only that they needed help, but how and I made a difference. THAT is so far and beyond better than being trapped in the bottle cycle.

On another note, tomorrow night will be a test. My husband and I will be seeing a great band and staying in the city without kids. That’s fine, but add in those two party friends and I’m the only one not participating. They have been my downfall several times, my plan is to make sure husband is on board and flat out ask him to support and defend me if necessary. The other thing is to know that if these friends don’t support my choice, they are not friends. And I choose sobriety.

Happy Thursday to everyone! I hope it’s an easy or at least rewarding one!!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho, I have gone to watch a few bands without drinking. The first time it was So weird not to drink but I found I really enjoyed it because it was about the music and not about the booze. I didn't obsess about my drink and really could get into the music 'I heard it and saw it in full colour'. Not all blurry and grey like drinking makes everything. Enjoy your evening Ken.

Ava, shopping sounds fun! Haha, I hope you did not get an impaired after the bitters. It is scary when something like that happens, I did think "oh shit, this is it" but then common sense prevailed and I just carried on with my non AL drink.
The air conditioning comment cracks me up, its is SO freaking cold here. We have an Arctic front which has settled over Canada, right now it has warmed up to -19C and tomorrow we are going to see it drop into the -30's. I can feel the cold coming from the window which I am sitting a few feet away from. When it gets to the -30's nothing works like it is supposed to and even flights start to be grounded. So I guess I won't be flying out to visit you in hot Australia

Quit, I am going to get that book and I am going to send one to my brother too. He can be such a jerk with my mom who is 83 now. Sometimes she cant hear or can't express herself properly and he gets very annoyed and irritated with her. He is very judgmental with both me and my mom which really sucks. Maybe this book will help him look at things differently.

Mr V. thank you for that story about your niece's dad. It is so scary to think that that could happen but I can totally see it happening like that. That is why we have to stay vigilant. When I had that sip of eggnog on Christmas Eve I thought- what if I start craving it? What if in a week all of a sudden I really want to drink and that is because of this one stupid sip? We have to remain vigilant that is for sure. It is one of the reasons I keep coming back. Trying to stay accountable and stay vigilant.

Wags, enjoy being sick because you are really sick and not hungover, lol. I know 'enjoy' might not be the right word but it is definitely better than a hangover.

Pav, are you working today? xo from me
Hi Byrdie and Lav- thank you for being here and helping us to be accountable.

Do not drink today.
xo

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle, so glad you decided to check in. That sucks that AL reeled you back in, I find that SO scary that it could happen after 5 years. What happened to make you take that first drink Belle? Maybe it would help us to know.

Hang in there, everyday you stay sober is a gift. Like you said, one drink is never enough! Keep coming back, we are here for you. Xo

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
Thanks for the warm welcome and the twig. I will try to check in every day even if it is brief. Talking about the circle of life hits home. Tomorrow husband is going to upstate NY to bring his mother down to VA where we live, and move her into an assisted living facility. It is bittersweet. I know she would like to stay where her home is/was but nobody up there really wants to be responsible for her care. It is killing my hubby to do the job from 400 miles away. So, mom will be staying with us until her stuff is all moved here and the room is completely ready. She is a bit of a prima donna, so it will be a challenge. Our house is no mansion and there is always the risk that she will fall. Having her around could be a reason to drink (that is what the AL brain says).

Narilly, I really had to think how it all re-started and I think it was innocently at an extended Christmas get-together last year. The old "uncle" asked me what I would like to drink and I said Tonic water with a twist of lime. (my go-to fave drink). He said ...hey a little gin in it won't hurt...how about half a shot? I went along with it...the holidays are always tough for me, especially after losing both parents. So that half shot gin and tonic didn't hurt. My decline was slow, with weeks and even months of not drinking. Even now, I have been not even close to as bad as I was 6 years or so ago, but as I said, I feel my feet slipping ever closer to the rabbit hole. It has a strong sucking feeling.

Gotta go cook dinner. Not working tomorrow. Perhaps I'll come back to the nest to read more, get to know some of the newer folks, reacquaint with the "old timers" like me (shout out to Available who has clearly been doing fantastic!!). Have a warm, AL free night in the cozy nest, all!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Not much going on in Lav-land, just dealing with this bitter cold, geez!
I made a pot of soup to help stay unfrozen, ha ha! I felt sorry for my chickens this morning when it was only 9 degrees so I made them a big bowl of oatmeal, Lol

Glad to see everyone checking in & doing what's best for them
It's impossible to regret quitting, remember that!

Wishing everyone a safe & warm night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening, nesters.
Belle, as you were describing your situation, I could just feel the water rising. Im so sorry to hear how it happened, but very thankful for your sharing the story with us. You, too, Mr V. 25 years, I cant imagine. A former coworker of mine had 15 years, fell off for 10 years and now has 12 years sober. These tales keep my tail planted right here.
Had the day off but worked a bit, was going to go shopping but had to wait for my new security sysem to be installed. I ran up to a store briefly to look at their sales, then rushed home. As I was driving to the store, I passed the dumpster I used to dump my empties in when my husband went out of town. I cringed when I thought about the 37 empty boxes of wine I had hidden in my ottoman and had to get rid of. . My plan is to keep all that ugly stuff in the past. I never want to have to repeat quitting.
Hopefully, I will get to prop up the economy tomorrow! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Holy crap Belle, I can totally see that happening. Thank you for telling your story. I will remember it for sure. birdie, thanks for your story too. We have to stay vigilant.
I am so glad to have you all as part of my support.

Hey Lav, it’s freezing here too.-22c and snowing, brrr.

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all -

Quick check in. Not much going on here, but it sounds like you are all staying the course.

Had a lot of f#ck it moments in the past few days - interesting how my brain has gone back to a "You weren't that bad, you'll be fine to go back to drinking." WTH, brain? Do you not remember the entire 5th of vodka (and I don't even LIKE vodka!) you drank over the course of the day last time your husband & kiddo were gone because you could? And then you had to hide the bottle in your car? No, you will not be fine.

Really cracking down today on healthy eating. I don't want to deprive myself of anything, but I cannot continue eating 6 yeast rolls for dinner. I have such a tough time with vegetables, so I made myself some spinach, tomato and onion stirfry over cauliflower rice for lunch and ate an enormous breakfast consisting of fruit, grits (I know, I know), and eggs. Need to keep a steady flow of healthy snacks in the house - plain popcorn, peanut butter, etc.

Did have an interesting thought this morning. Where I live you can't buy alcohol on Sundays and obviously Sunday is New Year's Eve, so the news was warning people to get their booze early. Without even thinking, I said: "Feels nice not to have to worry about it this year" to my husband (we already bought our sparkling grape juice!) I was surprised that was my first thought (especially after all the other thoughts) and that the relief was real. I truly did not feel disappointment that I couldn't drink this New Year's, I felt relief. That's a big first in what I hope is a lot of firsts.

Day 124!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Not a whole lot going on here either.. I caught a nasty cold and feel like it's moving to my chest so I'm trying to take care and be quiet/patient. I'm bummed to be sick right now but there isn't much I can do about it now.

Moon, I think being honest about how we really were is so important! It's difficult after some time has passed to remember.. for me at least. I should never forget completely where I was/how I was living my life. Here's to eating better!!! I'm with you and the others who have mentioned improving their health (for me it also involves less ice cream!) this new year. Well done on 124 days..

Lav, do the chickens really eat oatmeal? I can imagine they might.. stay warm!

Yes, it scares me to hear the stories of relapse after so many years.. especially since I'm just around 8 weeks! But I guess that's something to stay aware of, a reminder to stay vigilant, as you said, Nar.. For me, in my stuffy headed state of mind, the stories sound a bit like a death sentence. I guess I have always naively hoped that at some point, maybe after a few years, I wouldn't have to worry about relapsing.. But I can see very well how it can happen.. Thanks for sharing that, Belle.. and I'm really happy you're back. That you saw where things were heading and decided to stop it..

Thank you, too, QW and Wags for the book recommendation.. I'm not in the situation yet where I need to care for my parents, but it is something that I have always thought I would want to do. I realized after thinking a lot after Pav, Hyper and NS posted, that I don't have a good understanding of what that really entails. Many of you have already taken care of your parents, and many are in the process.. I have so much respect for all of you.

Ok. Mini golf is on the schedule today and I have to decide if I'm up for it.. I hate to miss out on activities with my girls and nephews.. but I also don't want to get worse. Ughhh..

Wishing you all a good Friday.
xx

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

lifechange, I'm nursing a nasty cold too. And it is darn cold outside but I have to take my dog out.

It is going to be a long haul to Tuesday. I will have "reasons to drink" right and left. But I have to remember that they are only "thoughts". I can't let the stress of these days pull me in. When both my Mom and my Dad passed away I was sober, and so glad I was. I have a totally clear memory (and conscience) of their last days. And I handled their funerals so well. It would have been a "shit show" if I had been drinking. My brother also stopped drinking about a year after I did. He is the only person I have confided in about the true nature of my problem. He was also very happy that he was totally present for our parents and each other.

I seem to be rambling...sorry. My head is foggy (almost like a hangover) from this cold. But it is good to be here again. I Love to hear about all the success people have been having, and the bravery of newbies finding this place like I did 6 years ago.

Take care & keep warm y'all in the US.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Count me in on the head cold thing! UGH. I don't feel awful other than my nose and the cough, though, so I'm not complaining too much.

...the stories sound a bit like a death sentence. I guess I have always naively hoped that at some point, maybe after a few years, I wouldn't have to worry about it.

It's not a death sentence, @lifechange. I really don't worry about it at all because I know I'm aware of potential problems (and keep that awareness alive by participating here), I'm grateful for the quality of an AF life, and I now see alcohol for what it really is - a poison for everyone but which particularly affects me. I don't worry about drinking alcohol any more than I worry that I'll cave in and consume gluten or a bunch of sugar. All of them screw me up and life's too short not to be living the best, healthiest one possible. I don't want to do anything that will give me a stomach ache, high blood sugar, or a hangover!! I want to wake up each day feeling as good as possible, with no regrets for choices made the day before.

We all need to acknowledge our situations and have a healthy respect for the possibility of relapse (and stay connnected!!) but the associated feelings can be very positive and full of gratitude for having found our ways out.

In case I don't make it back here in the next couple days, Happy 2018 to all!! xx, NS