Newbies Nest

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

thanks for the laugh G, i do feel like using it in other ways with the SO. Only when he says - left arm straight, bend your knees, move the club closer, straighten your shoulders and now f#cking hit the ball. oh i surely can in this contorted position. That is when i feel like using the club for something other than golf!

Wags, like you used to i do it to spend time together, he finds it relaxing to hit a ball randomly, i dont particularly but i love finding the wildlife and looking around. i play till i am bored and then sit in the cart. it is nice to spend time together so its an us time and his brother owns the golf course so costs us nothing, so i am not wasting any money either. If i had to pay i would definitely not go.

Welcome MNI. Keep posting on here, keep accountable and those days will add up. For me there was no cutting back, didnt work and will never work. my alcoholic brain craves more as soon as i have that first drink so at the end of the day i chose to not drink at all and boy is life so much better without al.

the pantry cupboard is clean and no more procrastinating, now on to the plastics cupboard sigh.

Take care x

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters,

LC, I hope that message got thru to you. There have been changes to the MWO format and I'm not sure I'm doing things correctly.

Today was a decent day, although I was a bit grumpy just thinking I've failed again, don't know how I'll get through life without drinking, then on the other hand I'm relieved that i put the breaks on before killing myself. Yes, I have no doubt in my mind that's where I was headed. So when I think that I'm missing out, I can remember that I'm saving my life with a lot of help from good friends. Yes, I was that bad!!

Kensho, I like holly, too. Her f-bombs don't bother me and I love her writing style. I'll have to check out her podcast. My desk is a freaking mess inside, but neat on top.

Wags, what teaching opportunity did you interview for?

Hi Kim, we can work on being present together. Doesn't it suck to just feel as though you're skimming the surface of life?

NS, is there a secret to putting our egos aside? Is it just to surrender to this monster that we will never, ever beat?

Byrdy, good for you for taking that first step.

Ava, thank you for contacting me four days ago and solidifying my decision to come back. I needed that little shove.

[MyNameIs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wagmor, thank you for the welcome back! I am reading up on the Tool Box sticky and seeing what I can take from all of the great ideas there. I'll try and post my story later when I have a little more time.

Guitarista, it's nice to know there are "old friends" still here and many new ones to be made. I like your "5 minutes at a time" approach to everything. I need to try that with some of my tasks.

available, I've told myself it's baby steps for now. See if I can moderate and actually TRACK my consumption. Last time I was here, I think I lacked the motivation I needed to do anything other than to simply commiserate with others. I am most certainly in need of some accountability.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Here's a good discussion of (the perils of) ego, J: Pardon Our Interruption

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Work?? I’ve not motivated myself to begin yet since back from breaks. I have to do the same thing G, breaks my tasks up. I don’t get to do something as cool as working on a bike though!

PAV I did listen to bubblehour.com while exercising and it was great. Took a lot away from it, especially about self-talk. I didn’t realize how much I tend to berate myself. That has to stop.

Anyway, typical Wednesday for us. Hope everyone has a good night.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hello & welcome back Kim, MNI & Nawlin'sLady!
You've all made a great decision to take back your lives. Kick AL to the curb, make yourselves a good working plan & stay pit in the nest. We have a lot of success here in this friendly place

Prepping for this monster coastal storm
The weather folks keep upping the snowfall totals & it hasn't even begun yet - swell.
I gave my chickens a good talking to late this afternoon & explained how they will probably be cooped up for a few days, ha ha! I bake up seed treat rings for them so they have something to peck at (instead of each other) to relieve boredom. Here's the recipe if you ever need one, LOL
DIY Flock Block Substitute | The Prairie Homestead

Byrdie, I hope you do OK with that ham. I am so terribly salt sensitive that I haven't eaten ham in years. On Christmas Eve I helped myself to a thin slice of spiral sliced ham (it was delicious) & found that it sent my B/P up 40+ points overnight - not good.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all

Lav

[PanhandleKim]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for the welcome back. I am on day two - it's a start. It's so good to see many of the familiar names as well as the new folks who are ready to do battle with the ever-present enemy of alcohol. My kids are still out of school for the Christmas break and it was wonderful to spend the day with them and actually be present. Love hearing all of your stories, reading your posts and looking into the Tool Box and podcasts. This has got to be the year...

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great article NS. Is there a way to save articles like this or should I just copy and paste to my computer?

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sorry. That was a stupid question. I don't make files on my iPad but can on my other computer.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Jvo - Thanks for asking! I'm self-employed as a teacher, trainer and tutor. I used to do a lot of corporate training, ranging from business writing classes to leadership and communication styles etc. Recently, I've been shifting my focus to test prep - I work with people, mostly one-on-one, who need to take various exams to get added certifications or return to graduate school etc. My specialty are the exams people have to take to enter professional schools such as medicine, law, or business (getting their MBAs). Last week I got contacted by a shi-shi test prep company based in Manhattan NYC - they had a client in my city and they wanted to know if I'd consider taking the gig. They low-balled on pay though, offering my half of my regular rate, so I declined. They immediately wrote back and doubled their offer so I decided to at least do the interview to check things out. I had the interview this past Monday. I prepped for at least 3 hours. The "interview" was a joke - almost insulting. I got the gig, but I'm honestly not sure I want anymore work from them. I'm trying to just take it as a positive and move forward, but it bums me out when people or companies do poor excuses for work and just make a whole industry look bad.

On your end, I'm so glad to hear that you're happy about moving to 7th grade from 8th. It sounds like you've got a great teacher team to work with, and that sure makes a difference. Good for you on pursuing a new challenge and continuing to be the best teacher you can be. Teachers have so much potential to impact lives, even though I know most of the time you don't hear about it.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

JVo, glad your back!,One day at a time, right? Yeah, those stories really help me, I know you can do it girl.

Hi Pan, glad you are here too.
Gotta go get ready for work. It’s 5:30am and I am UN Hung, oh yeah!

Xo

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!
Another fly by for me on my way back to my Dad's.. I expect to be challenged emotionally again but in no way will alcohol come into the picture as a way to "deal". Slowly but surely I am learning new ways to deal with stress and relationships. I'm finding that being upfront and honest works well.. I can be very friendly and fair but sure to say things in a way that people understand what I need. I'm seeing that I used to be quite manipulative, saying things in a round about way because I was afraid of having someone upset or mad at me. Now I realize that as long as I'm honest and speaking from the heart it's up to the other person to decide how they want to react to the information, that I don't have to take it personally.. and vice versa. It's really hard for me but I'm getting positive responses so far. The other day I had to tell my Dad that we didn't want to come over for New Years because we didn't want to spend the day with my Stepsister and her family (mostly my girls didn't want to spend their time babysitting her kids.. even though hers are very sweet, mine had had enough).. I explained it that way and that it had nothing to do with him and my Stepmom (which it didn't) and he understood! I had been afraid to tell him because I didn't want him to be hurt or offended. Now, the next days over there, I will be careful to watch my emotions and pay attention to my gut. It feels good to begin to trust it.

Welcome to MNI and Nawlin'slady!

Here's to being happily UNHung, Nar!
Jvo, yes I did get your message.:happy2:

Hope everyone has a great Thursday.. hugs and strength all around.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Here's a link to the Bubble Hour about Surrendering the Ego. Aah, the well-meaning ego...

Byrdie - good luck with that last 5 lbs. I know that fight for sure. I got back into the sugar habit over the holidays - that's going to have to stop. I also ate bread a lot, which I usually don't do. I LOVE bread. However, it doesn't love me, so that's going away, too. Back in the saddle so to speak.

In CA, marijuana was made legal for recreational use. I am very interested to see how this plays out. Although not a physically addicting as alcohol, I've seen plenty of people psychologically addicted to it. I AM of the belief that overall it is probably less harmful than alcohol, but I feel like a one-woman band with my refrain - "learn to relax and have fun with yourself!" I guess humans have looked for ways to relax and alter their realities for a LONG time (the history of alcohol and humans is a long one, not to mention all kinds of other mind-altering rituals and substances). Not sure my point, but here we go...

Happy Thursday, Nest. Hope those chickens stay warm, Lav.

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nest friends!

I'm feeling pretty good this morning. I've been doing my morning pilates in the gap of time between when my oldest and youngest get out the door. It feels like a good thing I can do for myself. Trying to get some physical activity in every day if possible, even if it's walking the dog around the block. Moving my energy seems to help me with all things in life.

I decided to join my friends who are doing the Whole30. I would like to see if my migraines and neck pain lessen. I have the advantage of doing one before, and we pretty much eat that way during the week anyway. But I'm bracing for sugar cravings, tiredness and brain fog during the next week. I did make a deal with myself to "be kind to me", and not to be hard on myself. I know that my priority is not to drink, period. If I slip and eat chocolate cake with a side of bread and licorice, but didn't drink - I will consider the day a success. I recognize that I often take too much on - so I'm not holding my feet to the fire as much as when I was further in my quit.

I also found a post I wrote around day 265. I can't believe I wrote that and then decided on a whim to just go ahead and drink. I made a deal with myself that if I'm really struggling in the future, to go back and read my posts like that! I sounded like a different person.

Welcome MyNameIs! Settle in and get comfy. There’s a lot of knowledge and support here.

Wagmore, good for you for starting your own business! It takes guts and faith and hard work. Way to go! Sounds like an interesting niche.

Sounding great LC. I love reading the positive changes you are experiencing being AF! I noticed much more effective communication within my relationships too - back at 275AF. Amazingly, that pretty much went out the door the moment I drank. Unbelievable to me. And such reason to just leave AL behind forever.

I promised myself I would get some solid work done today, so no more procrastinating. I do feel good about what I did for myself the last two days though. So no self-bashing. Working on that one!

Have a good day everyone!

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

I only “golfed” if I could drive the cart, read a book and drink beer. I can’t even hit the ball if I tried.

Welcome, MyNameIs!

Great job on all of you giving up sugar. I know it has addictive qualities and when I eat too much of it I end up feeling sick/with a headache. But, I could never do low-carb on purpose. I just love my spaghetti and french fries too much. I can do without the cake and cookies and candy, but damn if I love my pasta and bread. For the most part I think I’m a pretty healthy eater - I truly believe my weight gain was due to massive amounts of alcohol (red wine, in particular.) I know I tried to switch to liquor at one point to reduce calories, but it was too obvious how much I was drinking. That box wine is good at concealing how much is gone!

The vegetables though, oh the vegetables! I do struggle to get those in. It’s the main reason I switched to cauliflower rice in my stir fry. Cover it in enough soy sauce and you’ll never know the difference! lol

Everyone on the east coast stay safe and warm! Here in the midwest we’re heading into the 30’s…it’ll feel like a heat wave!

LC - good things to keep in mind. I never want people to be upset with me either, but you are right. You can’t control how they react. I struggle with this, too, especially with my mom. She’s great at guilt tripping and I need to realize that it’s HER issue, not mine. You did what was best in that situation for YOUR family, which is great. I’m glad your dad understood. It’s my hope one day my mom will come around.

Pav - pot here is still illegal both medically and recreationally, although they are looking at legalizing THC oil (although my understanding is it doesn’t get you “high”.) I still know plenty of people who use pot here like most “normal” people use alcohol - their half a joint a night is equivalent to another’s glass of wine. I also have many friends who use it to control their anxiety. I feel lucky in the aspect that even though I experimented in my college days, pot is not something that appeals to me whatsoever. I smoked on a semi-regular basis and when my husband I first started dating he had a no drugs rule (he has good reasons!) It was no problem for me to stop smoking and I realized after I stopped how much I disliked it anyway - it always made me paranoid. (Wish I could give up booze like I could pot.) Even if it became legal here I don’t think we’d have any desire to try it. I too believe it’s probably less harmful than alcohol, although I think smoking anything is harmful in it’s own way and of course driving impaired on anything is bad.

I’m finding that with each thought of wanting to drink, me telling myself: “You’ll never regret NOT drinking” is working quicker and quicker. It feels fantastic!