Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm sorry I'm posting so much - I just figured something out that I thought I'd share. One of my obstacles on this journey is giving myself permission to do what is best for me. Even if it's not what others do. I have been worried about raining on others' party or seeming "holier than thou". But if they are going to do what they feel is best for them, why can't I do what feels best for me? Without shame or feeling like I'm a drag? If I'm constantly changing what I want to do (sit in front of the fire with a cup of tea and a good book) to attend margarita bars and concerts until 2am - just so I feel like I'm not causing others grief - what's the point of attempting to listen to myself in the first place? This will be a big lesson for me, as I've always felt that if I'm going down an atypical path, I should take care not to get in other people's way of their good time. Time to do what I need to do for me. I don't need to neglect myself to support others. There. Done.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm sorry I'm posting so much - I just figured something out that I thought I'd share. One of my obstacles on this journey is giving myself permission to do what is best for me. Even if it's not what others do.

And if posting here is good for you, do it without regrets or apologies :hug:.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

LC sounds like you are having a great sober holiday. Isnt it wonderful when our fall back thoughts when dealing with life is not al. Its all learned behaviour and time, time away from al that makes us more sane and sensible in our own mind. There is nothing in life i cant deal with now that would involve me to drink, i am sure there could be but i always have my tools at the ready and a host of people that keep me accountable.

Moon, alcohol is the worst drug of all. I never associated al as a drug, why would i when i was drinking it each and every day but that is how i look at it now. it is a drug like cannabis, heroin etc etc. People will never throw al into the equation of it being a drug, god forbid 90% of the population ingests a drug on a frequent basis. I was addicted to pot in my younger years but fell pregnant and just stopped. i have smoked it over the years but it bought on great anxiety so i stopped. Funny but i could still smoke recreationally and take it or leave it but i know al is a different matter.

Jvo it was a pleasure to find you and not too hard. we have been on this journey for a long time together and you are worth so many more messages as you find the you that is within.

NS i wish i could press that button and open the link. ha ha.

Kensho i always want to look for my old posts but there are 7276 pages on the nest and that is just overwhelming. any quick ways to do it? i can just imagine my holier than though attitude when i was giving up al. cringe worthy moments for sure.

Well today i am off to the SO's and will enjoy the last few days of my leave. Getting used to the 7.30 wake ups so will be hard to get back to the 5am wake up but i know i have a job to go to that i can make grow and love.

take care x

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

AVA if you click on your name, and "view forum posts", it at narrows your search to your posts only. I would imagine you still have quite a few pages to sort through!

[MyNameIs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome to MNI and Nawlin'slady!

Ah, I accidentally logged in as nawlinslady. I had started that user name a while back when i could not remember my original user name. (Knowing me, i signed up while drunk!) Anyway, I'm planning to stick to my original account of MyNameIs. Sorry for the confusion!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening, nesters.
Welcome back, MyNameIs! Glad you are here. The tool box is the best place I know to get all the information you could ever need to get sober. Then WE are here to give you the support you need in the bad times, AND the good!

We got about an inch of ice last night followed by a dusting of snow. Its fowl out! Glad I work from home!
Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It's been a cold & miserable day with snow & wind & artic air, Brrrrrrrr!!
Grateful for a warm house & plenty of firewood. My chickens are holding up pretty well but have completely stopped laying eggs for now. They need to use all their energy just too stay warm so that's OK.

Kensho, when I was first quitting I realized right away that if I was going to win this battle I would have to put myself first. Everyone else's feelings were just going to have to become secondary. I think a lot of us fall into the 'people pleaser' category so worrying about everyone else first was habitual. I know it drove my anxiety into overdrive. I told myself that it didn't have to be forever but it was what I needed to do. Make yourself first, for now until you get a good handle on this thing

MNI, thanks for clearing that up. I was beginning to wonder where all these people were coming from, ha ha!

Ava, getting up at 7:30 is indeed nice but I still wake up at 5 am, just out of habit! Enjoy your time off.

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Brrrr Nest,

Here in the northeast and all schools in the area are closed for tomorrow. Be safe Lav.
Have the fireplace on, drinking hot chocolate and relaxing. Already know I can sleep in tomorrow and that's awesome.

So, have been just ok. I'm still pissed off at myself and just blah feeling. Patience is a virtue and one I've always had issues with. I must look at this journey as one day at a time. I hope someday I can feel indifferent to the idea of alcohol. That takes a long time, and I'm going to keep reminding myself of that. Just don't drink, jvo. That's all I have to do on this day. Because really, we are only guaranteed this day so why worry about tomorrow. Baby steps. Oh...sorry, I'm really just having a private conversation with myself.

Welcome to newbies and old newbies. My name is, welcome. Moon king, glad you are here to share your journey with the oldies and newbies.

LC, you sound really great. You handled the situation with the visit very well.

Byrdy, good luck to you with your weight loss. Multiply that by 10 and that's how much I've put on and need to lose.

Hi Pav and NS. Thanks for the links.

Wags, sounds like a great opportunity, although a bummer the pay wasn't what you wanted. Makes me think I could make extra cash in the summertime tutoring but I never had enough time because I was too busy being hung over, thinking of drinking, or drinking.

Hi G. Well, doing ok. You sound great. Love your structured regime.

Stay warm. Will check in tomorrow.

Jvo

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone, it’s so nice to read your posts JVo, I am so glad you are here. I missed you. It is so good that you have decided to get rid of AL. Just take it one day at a time and don’t beat yourself up too much. You are only human.

Welcome MNI, keep posting.

NS, I love Dietdoctor.com and eat a low carv, mod protein diet myself- I think you knew that. Try it Byrdie, it is amazing.

Have a great night everyone.
Don’t drink today.
Xo

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks Nar. I missed you!

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just reading the last page of toolbox and I took one sentence from Elvis' awesome post that really means a lot to me.

"I think the biggest revelation as of late is how normal it feels not to drink."

That's what I want to know and feel. I never got far enough to know that feeling but I want it.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

So tonight has been difficult. A good example of feeling great, having everything under control, on top of it and then out of nowhere the f***its come into the picture. Just feeling sad and a bit funky and wanting to be able to disappear. It lasted a good hour and was a fight. It's weird how most of the time it's no problem, or little work at least, to convince myself that my thoughts are just that.. thoughts, and they will pass with a bit of time. And then sometimes complete irrationality.. tonight I could have f****** up everything. That scares me and makes me insecure. On the other hand, if what all of you say is true, getting through an intense craving/urge/whatever builds up our resolve and strength.
What bothers me though is that I didn't sign on to ask for support during.. I really "wanted" to drink. So I didn't allow myself to rely on my number one tool. I worked through it on my own and I did sign on and read here.. but I didn't ask for help.
Off to sleep. I'm so glad to be here.
J-vo, I also want to know what it feels like to have it be totally normal not to drink...

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Glad you weathered the storm LC. Those escape moments are tough. You will be so glad when you wake up tomorrow that you didn't cave.

I'm going to bed. So very tired - weaning off the sugar, and it's only just begun. But I made some stellar almond milk tonight. That made me happy.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Goodnight nest.

Life, JVo, anyone in the first stages of sobriety, it does become normal not to drink. It just takes a bit of time.

I drank for about 37 years and I was a huge party animal. I could not even imagine myself not drinking. Even now when I tell old friends I do not drink, they are shocked and don’t believe me. Now it really seems normal for me not to drink, you will get there.

Gotta sleep now.

[Jude58]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION] So glad that you did not cave. I think that ultimately we have to turn to ourselves for support and strength, which is exactly what you did. (it's also important to have outside support such as this forum, but sometimes you are just on your own.) The first time that I quit, (for 9 years) it took awhile, but eventually I began to feel "normal." I rarely thought about booze, I just went on with my AF life, it's just the way it was. Just be aware that there is always the demon within, sometimes well hidden, other times it comes out from hiding as it did to you recently. I had a relapse which lasted 8 years, and am just now 4 months sober again. The urges still come fast and strong, but I hang on because I know that they will appear less frequently as time goes on. Hopefully, I will be more vigilant about the cravings. Guess that I got a little too complacent after long periods with absolutely no desire to drink. "Just one drink" is never worth it....stay strong!