Newbies Nest

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

thanks so much Jude. I have Allan Carrs book, read half of it years ago and the positive is i never threw it out so when i get home i will look for it and boy i HAD better find it quickly. I think when i bought the book many many years ago i had no intention of giving up at all but i have the book. I do so appreciate the web sites, i had a quick look and found nothing before. I need to have a new mindset with smoking and thus why i posted on here today, to be accountable. I also decided that instead of saying i am okay with not smoking that i would be more honest with myself and others. I have tried the most in 2017 to quit but when a friend said she was stopping drinking in 2018 i thought i would bite the bullet also and stop smoking. So glad i have a quit buddy on here and congrats on 3 days also.

[Jude58]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION] I hope that the book helps you, but I think that the key is Really wanting to quit. I've quit many times in my lifetime, (once for 20 years) and it's always been hell until this last quit. I can't believe that I'm not going nuts! I think that one's success in giving up the evil weed, has a lot to do with our attitude towards it. This time around, I'm like, "this is no big deal. " It's funny that we are both on day 3....yes, it's good to have a quit buddy!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

I have Alan Carr’s book on Quitting drinking, I don’t know how much it helped but I think every little thing adds up and becomes a cumulative effect to help us stop drinking. It isn’t just one thing, we have to try a whole bunch of things.
I used to smoke and quit 25 years ago. It’s one addiction after another it seems. Way to go on the three days you two.

Anyway, I’m going to bed soon.
Hello Jude

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick check in, busy day here. I caved and ate chocolate - but I didn't drink, so that's a score in the book for Kensho. Another day dusted and I'm glad its Friday!

Have a great night/morning peeps.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all,

Just passing through. Great to read all of these fantastic posts, seeing how folks are sticking to their quits of all types, and planning ahead for what to do if the feck-its occur. Yes, the best first step in any plan is, I won't drink no matter what. The steps after that can vary from one person to another, but that has to be a solid part of the plan.

My cousin arrives tomorrow for about a 24 hour visit. It will be fun to see her in person after all these years. I might not be on here much again until Sun pm or Mon am. Hope you all have strong but relaxing AF weekends. Stay warm (or cool, as the case may be!).

Wags

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters!

So glad you are both quitting the smokes, Jude and Ava!!:thumbsup:

Just a quick fly by for me this morning, too. We are heading off the the Public Market in a bit which will be fun. It's nearing the end of our visit with my family and I have such mixed feelings. I am happy to be getting home and into normal life but it's sad to know we won't be coming back for a couple of years. The separation hurts my heart.. especially as my parent age. It is soooo much nicer to spend time with my Dad when he's not drinking. I'm glad he's putting in the effort and I hope he'll be able to keep it more moderate, as I'm fairly sure he doesn't want to quit for good.

Wags, I hope you have a great visit with your cousin!
J-vo, today must be day 6! Sounds like you had a relaxing day yesterday.. How are you feeling today?
Kensho, definitely a score in the book!
G-man, loved that post and so glad to hear you're doing so well..

Big hugs to all of you lovely Nesters! see you later this afternoon.
Here's to a happy Saturday.

[PanhandleKim]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning Everyone - made it through day four without alcohol and I'm beginning to feel so much better spiritually, mentally and physically. I'm facing day five with a bit of a challenge. We have had a living room concert planned tonight for quite some time and of course alcohol is on the menu. I am determined, though, to abstain. My plan is to either send left over wine with guests or have my husband pour it out. One of the musicians is in recovery himself and so I he can abstain, surely I can. Wagmor, I'm going with your advice of, "I will not drink no matter what." I don't want another Day 1.

Lifechange- I'm so glad you had a great visit with your family and what a joy and blessing that your dad is trying not to drink. I think of interactions with my family when I'm drinking and when others in my family are drinking and the quality of our time is so compromised under those conditions.

jvo - I am sleeping so much better, too. It always amazes me of how much more rested I feel when my body is free of alcohol. Congratulations on making it through day 5. I find that I dream about alcohol every night, whether I'm drinking or not. I'm fine with that as long as it's only in my dreams.

Asking for prayers and positive thoughts as I venture into this evening of entertaining prepared and determined to be AF.

Hope you all have a safe, alcohol free Saturday.

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning,

I just read a horrifying story on our beloved Mario. So sad.

Great posts. G, yes, those urges are strong in the early days. As serial relapsers, let's keep each other accountable when we get those several months under our belts and tend to blow it. As NS said, I don't drink, not for any reason, not for NOBODY. Well, she said something like that! Do you think you get to that 4-5 months and have a fuck it moment or is it different for you. Mine is just a fleeting idea of drinking and all my resolve disappears.

Jude and Ava, I like the idea of using the same tools that made you successful when you quit drinking. Makes total sense. I quit over four months ago, and while I still miss it, I don't think about it much, maybe some when I see people doing it or smell it from miles away. Just like sitting in traffic and my car window might be slightly open, except when it's bitter! And someone in front of me is smoking, it's amazing to me that one puff of smoke can reach my car and be such a strong smell. At first, it's like, damn, that smells amazing, now I'm getting to the point that it's pissing me off because I don't want to smell it and stop polluting my f-ing air! Haha.

Slept good last night. I'm getting my apetitle back in a big way. For the last couple of months, I couldn't eat much and felt a bit nauseous when I did. Sure sign of alcohol damage to my system. But I'm also at the highest weight I've ever been which is so frustrating as I truly can't fit into work clothes and I don't wanna go buy new clothes.

LC, enjoy your final days. That must be so hard to be that far away from family. Hugs to you.youre a strong woman.

I think my goal today is to shower! Lucky for hubby.

Jvo

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest!

Wow, NoSugar. You REALLY have a way of saying with beautiful words what I am feeling and thinking. I think you would write a great book on quitting drinking yourself, or a blog. I miss when you don't post - stick around and keep dropping that truth on us! That is 100% the truth. You don't drink. Now what's next.

Ava and Jude - So great you have each other for support, and I know you can kick that habit/addiction! Jude, keep Ava as a quit buddy. She has a ready supply of bricks should you falter...

LC - That would be hard for me to be so far from family. At times, I feel TOO close and somewhat suffocated by my and my husband's large (and loving) families who all live close by. I miss hanging out with friends sometimes, and feel a burden of having to take care of everyone. I am glad to be reminded of how lucky I am to have everyone so close - always searching for that gratitude! Glad you've had a nice visit...

Kim and JVo - Keep on keeping on. Day 5 is great. Kim, I recommend splurging on your favorite non alcoholic drink. It will keep you from feeling deprived and will in any case be cheaper than whatever boozed you would be drinking. You don't drink - don't forget that.

Hi to everyone else. Great posts. Keep 'em coming.

Happy SOBER Saturday.

Pav

[Jude58]

Re: Newbies Nest

I have Alan Carr’s book on Quitting drinking, I don’t know how much it helped but I think every little thing adds up and becomes a cumulative effect to help us stop drinking. It isn’t just one thing, we have to try a whole bunch of things.
I used to smoke and quit 25 years ago. It’s one addiction after another it seems. Way to go on the three days you two.

Anyway, I’m going to bed soon.
Hello Jude

Hi Nar.....I've never read Allen Carr's book on how to quit drinking, just the smoking one. I'm on day 4 of being smoke free, and am not missing the cigs at all; it almost feels as though I never smoked. Very weird, but whatever the cause, I hope that I can maintain my quit, as it was starting to affect my lungs. No smoking, no drinking....what am I going to do for fun now?? lol

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good afternoon, Nesters!
Hubby and I ventured into the city for lunch, the roads are still icy in many spots. Here in NC, our problem is that we all THINK we can drive in the snow and ice. The news said there had been over 50 accidents in the past two days. We are just getting to 30* today. By the first of the week, we shoukd warm up. As we drove in to restaurant, we came around it from behind. There was the dumpster I used to use to get rid of my empties when my hubs would go out of town once a month. A vivid reminder of where I dont want to go again. Yes, I WAS that bad.

Hope everyone has an easy Sattidy!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello. Shout out to everyone in the monster storms out east USA. Hang in there, hoping for a thaw for you soon!

Kim, I SO get the "event" thing, especially at your house. A trick I used before is to have an opaque glass, and have it full AT ALL TIMES of a tasty non-alcoholic drink - and I would not put it down. That way people were less likely to ask questions. And remember, it's just the first hour or so that people are concerned about what you are drinking, then they are getting sloshy and more concerned about what they are drinking. You can do it, and the hard part seems, at least for me, to be fairly short lived. Then the relief sets in as I see drunk people. I get proud and am SO happy I am not doing what they are doing, and that I'm not obsessing about alcohol, or acting stupid - and I love knowing I will not have a hangover. If you are struggling, try the 15 min. trick. Say to yourself - I know I want this, but I will table the thought for 15 min. And then tackle another 15 min. Or 5 min. Soon enough, you will find yourself in the relief phase that you did not drink. You can do this!!

Last night I had a couple strong visual reminders of my past drinking too Byrdie. My husband walked out the door to the garage, and I booked it down our stairs to the basement. I used to do this to quickly sneak a shot from our bar - right out of the bottle. It struck me halfway down the stairs how awful it was to sneak and hide and be deceptive. I was headed down there to actually see if we had pancake mix in our camping supplies because I didn't want to cook something huge for my fam. for dinner.

Then, while actually cooking, my husband put on "evening jazz" music on. For a moment, I was transported to his parents house on a Friday night while she cooked. We listened to the same music and the wine bottles emptied without bottom. The feeling was a little nostalgic, and had a distinct air of "past" - as in another lifetime. I knew I didn't want to go back to that - recognized where it took me.

Anyway, trying to get lots checked off my list today. I didn't get my usual favorite Saturday am reward of my favorite latte, nor my chocolate croissant because I am doing that diet. But I found myself satisfied with scrambled eggs, greens, hot sauce and an avocado I smuggled in. The straight almond milk latte was actually not too bad.

The discipline is all the same - we have to recognize what lines we will not cross and fill in the gaps with other pleasureful and meaningful things. Sometimes it's just the recognition that I'm out with family NOT for the purpose to drink, but to have conversation, connect and engage in the world in a new and beautiful way.

Have a good rest of the day everyone!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great posts. G, yes, those urges are strong in the early days. As serial relapsers, let's keep each other accountable when we get those several months under our belts and tend to blow it. As NS said, I don't drink, not for any reason, not for NOBODY. Well, she said something like that! Do you think you get to that 4-5 months and have a fuck it moment or is it different for you. Mine is just a fleeting idea of drinking and all my resolve disappears.

Yes. Vale Mario. He is missed around here and i imagine greatly so by his family. Decent fella.

Jvo, for me i think my past serial returns to boozing, escapism and anaesthesia were due to a lack of dedicated purpose/focus, grounding, solid footing in my daily life. So i've revamped my approach this quit into a dedicated essential no matter what, no matter who daily practice of 6 mins breathing and 1 x set of yoga moves (sun salutations) as a minimum. My impatient juvenile mind can handle the thought of doing this first thing every morning. (Now i've added 6 minutes minimum on motorbike restoration, 6 mins. minimum guitar practice - daily).

Edit: I think on day 1 or 2 i started with a simple commitment to a daily practice of 5 full breaths, and that's all i had to commit to for the day - (and not drink)

It remains to be seen, but getting excited about a couple of projects that i can do and i can handle, and keeping it real simple and do-able for myself is a key element. I have gone within and asked myself what do i want to do with the rest of my life, what can i do? How do i do it, and ok G man, what are the steps to get there? Break it down and keep it real simple and NOT ove.....ova.....over......overwell........overwhel ming. So a plan and a purpose is holding it together for me. It is giving me hope and a direction. This in turn helps give me a little peace and comfort. Living sober is also giving me a no fear attitude. Dunno if i'm making sense or answering your question. Go for it buddy.

Elsie wow, sounds like you have absolutely raaawked the sober path on your family holiday! Right on.

Sounding good there Kensho!

Big waves to everyone. Day 130 but i never been one for countin'.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see everyone & just wanted to wish everyone a safe night in the nest.

We are mourning the loss of a young friend of ours, a firefighter who died today battling a house fire in Philadelphia. He was a fine young man & a terrific firefighter, only 42 years old. Please remember him, his family & all firefighters in your thoughts & prayers :hug:

Lav

[Jude58]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=21745]jvo[/MENTION] what happened to Mario?